... wasn't one I was pleased with.

I lost my temper today.
I have been hoping for a resolution to an issue at church but it wasn't forth coming and I 'lost it' for a minute. Not everyone saw it happen but several did, and for that I am sorry.

Why is it that after all these years I still can't control my temper? I have tried so very hard to do just that and still the "old John" surfaces with a vengeance, rearing his ugly head in a manner not conducive to good Christian behavior. Even if I am in the right I shouldn't have to bark at someone to express my opinion. I should be able to either keep my big mouth shut or say something .... in love ...that relates my 'concern' without the loud retorts. Drat!
I know some might be amused at this while others roll their eyes and think other thoughts, but this really bothers me. As I said, I have worked on this for many years.
My prayer partner and I addressed the issue tonight after service and I know that will be beneficial in the end, but what about the 'damage', if any, that I did?
Anger can destroy. It can override love. It can kill.
Yes, I have had deadly thoughts before. I know others do as well. I am so very glad that I haven't acted on them but still they were there. I could have. Only God's grace and mercy have kept me from hurting others in the past.
I don't believe I'm capable of any real actions of that nature now, but in times past... I was.

I have to thank God for changing my heart in many ways. And I also have to thank my beautiful wife for helping me become more loving and considerate and certainly more of a modern, real Christian. Oh, I know I'm not 'there' yet, but I'm on my way. I can write about it. I can share with others about it. I can overcome if I keep trying, and I will, you can depend on it.
The worst part about all of this is the aftermath. Waiting for the eventual outcome is tedious at best. I don't idle well, as most of you know. I am built for action not waiting.

I'm sure I'll write more on this topic in the future. I am taking my annual inventory.
Each year I look back at what has transpired over the course of the days and months that have gone by and try to make some sense of how well or how badly I have done in certain areas. Sometimes it's not a very pretty picture. In some areas I do okay..... this just wasn't one that I was pleased with.

...there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?

So, do ya think Santa's worn out yet?

The jolly ole fat man has got to be on a respirator right now. I have seen him everywhere you can imagine and I'm only one observer. Just try to think of how many other places he has been in the past two weeks and then multiply that by a dozen or more. 

I am forever amazed at all the ways we use Santa.

Why, I've seen Santa's on surfboards, Santa's in sports cars, Santa's robbing convenience stores, Santa's standing out in front of every store you can think of, and inside them as well, greeting all the little children, hoping they don't wet on their laps as they sit for hours listening to all the outlandish requests.

I even saw Santa on television taking requests for Ford pick ups and sedans from youngsters with a selfish, demanding spirit, thinking only of what they were trying to get. 

We spend millions on lights and are still in the dark when it comes to the real meaning of Christmas, but that's a topic for another day.

I play Santa at our church. I get a big kick out of seeing the look on the faces of the little ones that still wonder if he is real.The adoration is so evident and yet, there is a bit of a question on most of those faces. They have been presented with so much make believe and video imagery that they surely have to wonder, "Is he really real?".

And yet, I play the part as best I can and "Ho, ho, ho" all day to keep them entertained.

But wouldn't it be nice to give the ole fat man a rest? He has been so overly used that I marvel at the longevity of his character.

We should all take his place. We wouldn't even have to wear a red suit or a scratchy wig and fake beard. We could just be ourselves and go around cheering everyone up with our smiles and our little gifts that mean so much when given in person. We could share the responsibilities of who furnishes food and who gets all the presents together; some do one thing and some do the other, that way it wouldn't all fall on one person's shoulders like it does Santa.

The television stations would have more stories than they could show and more people than ever would get help because there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?