...who he says he is.

I'm feeling lazy today. The hot summer temps have been rolled back by an unusual cold front, bringing in the most wonderful coolness. The slight mist is quite refreshing indeed.

After our short vacation to Dallas last week, I should be well rested and ready for the 'fray' once again but instead, I am lethargic and hesitant to begin any real work. I don't like inactivity but I can't seem to 'get my motor running' toward the next effort. Even my thinking is slow to a certain extent.
There is quite a lot to do when I stop and think abut it. I just can't 'get in gear' for some reason.

I have been praying in the spirit quite a bit of late. I find myself engaged almost every time I am in the car. That more or less has been my prayer closet for many years anyway, so I think I'm moving in the right direction in that department anyway. The multitude of thoughts and variety of people that cross my mind when I'm praying seems to have multiplied as well. I 'randomly' pass over the people's faces as I pray. To me, that seems to indicate the need to lift them up to the Father for their particular need and circumstance even if I don't know what the need is at that moment in time. I just trust Him to discern and act as I continue praying.
There is a great relief for me and comfort when I pray in the spirit. Its as though I can release everything into the Master's hands and not have to worry about the outcome.

I think prayer in general is designed that way. First we must learn who is Master and who is servant. Then we rely on what is in the Master's plan for our lives, and hopefully, wait with patience for it to come about as we follow the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit. Its simple and direct enough and even easy to do, if we trust God to be who he says he is.

... when the time comes

"I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God...."

It isn't easy to keep going nowadays when it seems as though all odds are against you. I worked hour on end on the radio station only to see it crumble and fall. My partner pulled out even before the station went off the air...giving up with little to no effort.
Why is it so easy for people to abandon the work? It was, after all 'his vision', not mine. It's so much harder to start over and so much easier to build on something that's already there. Foundations are the hardest part of the building pprocess.

I'll go on to the other work God has presented me with and try to reason this out in my mind. I had such high hopes and such confidence in the vision and yet it still fell apart like a house of cards in the wind.

We have to be more careful with what we choose to do; what we take on as tasks and projects. The time it takes, the investment of resources, the personal involvements and the lives we effect are all tied up in the effort. If it fails, all of those ingredients are wasted and there is nothing to show for all that time and work and investment. The emotional toll is high as well. I can't begin to evaluate what this has taken out of my 'creative spirit' that will never be replaced.
I will look hard and long at this. We can't waste time on temporary things... the kingdom cannot wait for us to 'catch up' and be ready for ..."when the time comes."