...and what time did you say it was?

The sun was partially blocked by a thin cloud cover of loose gray clouds that looked as though they had been washed in dirty dish water.

I got out of bed and stumbled along the hallway to the bathroom and brushed my teeth without looking in the mirror. It was quite an accomplishment really. I always seem to look like the Kips Big Boy restaurant mascot when I first get up. My hair stands straight up in the middle of my head from front to back like a silvery rooster comb. I'm just not in the mood for so much funny that early in the morning if you know what I mean.

Now I don't mind making fun of myself but I usually wait until I can enjoy it. I have to be awake for it and that takes at least a half an hour not counting the time it takes to down my first cup of coffee.

For some reason I didn't have a hard time getting up. I usually have to 'make myself' sit up. That's the first step. Then I have to slide off of the mattress until my feet 'touch down' and then I begin the 'Blindman Stroll' I have made famous. Not only do I not have good sight at those times, I don't have a sense of smell, or feel, or very good hearing. I could easily walk off a cliff without the slightest bit of trouble and not know it until I hit the ground. I may not know it then. Needless to say, I have a bit of an issue waking.

Now before you condemn me for my malady, you might take inventory of your little idiosyncrasies and get back with me later, eh? At any rate, I did make it downstairs and fully enjoyed the first cup and the conversation and everything else that happened before I left for work.

Some days are just meant for being better than others, wouldn't you agree?

....congratulations

I watched a friend get married today.

He had been in dire straits not too very long ago. His life was in a shambles because of Crack Cocaine and he had come to OKC Compassion to work out the issues that often plague a person with such a desperate set of circumstances. I marvel at his recovery. Some just languish away and never really get it together, but not this man. His resolve was strong and his work ethic second to none that I've seen. As a leader, he surpassed his peers by miles and seldom stopped to 'smell the roses', but kept trudging forward until the day came for him to leave and even then God opened that door wide.

I watched as he looked at his new bride and the look in return was one of great love and satisfaction at finding such a man to live the rest of her life with as one. It could easily have been a movie played out on the big screen but no, it was a milestone that only a handful got to see in person.

For years to come this day will be special to these two. They will look back on it and smile and wonder how they could have ever been so blessed to find each other, but some of us will know because it has happened to us as well. I was blessed, so greatly blessed that I still marvel at the things that had to happen to make it possible for us to even meet, much less marry.

God is so cool. He always knows. he always makes things work that no one else could have ever done, no matter how long they had to do it.

....TICK, TICK, TICK

I almost blew up.

Yes, it's true, I almost exploded on someone last night. They had been less than compliant with the rules and regulations and when I confronted the person they began accusing everyone else for their infractions. Generally speaking I take those opportunities to let the person 'hang themselves', but some some reason I just got mad; plain old down right 'hot'.

It may have had something to do with the term they used to describe the others conveniently brought into the conversation in an effort to deflect the subject of going to the strip clubs in the area on their time off from work. I detest the use of the word "Bum" when it comes to describing another person in the same circumstances. Some people are "bums", but not in this case. The ones that sit by the off ramps and wave signs all day long and take their ill gotten gains to the motel at night and live the good life off of other people's tender heart; those are the Bums with a capital "B". By the way, I recently heard that the average income for that type of panhandling is over $70,000 per year. Remember that the next time you pull up to a stop light and the guy or gal walking up to your car is wearing a $100 pair of tennis shoes to keep their feet from hurting because they stand on their feet all day collecting your money. Just for grins, arrive about sundown and follow them to where they are staying and really get an eye full.

One of my good friends did just that and watched as a man got into a BMW after changing his shoes and his jacket and then watched him drive away, dialing his cell phone.

The conversation ended as soon as the man finished venting about how hard he has it in the Program House since he has been here. I listened quietly and when he stopped talking I asked him if that was all and he said, "yes", waiting intently for my response.

"Okay, I'm ready to go", I said in a matter of fact manner, and walked to the door, opening it for him.

"That's all you have to say?", he asked with an odd look on his dirty face.

"That's all I have to say tonight", I said, "but I'll have a lot more to say when we meet again with Pastor Bond tomorrow."

The confrontation was over but the anger lingered all the way home. I did my best to 'talk around it' once I arrived, but I ended up sharing my displeasure with my beautiful wife and she listened, knowing that I needed to 'get it off my chest'. Aren't wives wonderful?

I only share this to give you insight into this crazy world of recovery and readjustment, where I find myself putting feet on my faith and reaching out with all that is within me.

...once had a friend

I wrote a song one time about a friend of mine.

He had given everyone the impression that he had written several songs which turned out to be my writing. I had helped him with them and told him to keep any rights or revenues to them, thinking that I was doing him a favor; something he could call his own. Right

He had brought me several ideas for songs he was working on but they were pretty rough and I thought it would be nice to help him get them to where they made sense and could be recorded.

To make a long story short, He brought in a band from out of town and we began recording the songs. Lo and behold I begin to hear some of my other songs along with these and guess who was supposed to have written those as well? Right.

Needless to say the project went south, for him at least, and it pretty much damaged our relationship to the point of 'no return'. I finished the project with the band. They never paid me all that they owed for the sessions and mix, but I made some pretty good friends in the end. The one friend... he drifted off and we never really mended any fences to speak of and he lost everything he had in a divorce a few months later.

I did get a good song out of it though.

Fast forward if you will a good dozen years or more and here comes a friend of this same 'friend'.

The old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished" still stands.

I went out on a limb with this other 'friend' and wouldn't you know it, he burns me too. I film for 4 days and get ready to edit but it ends up, there's no money to pay for the work.

"I talked with our board, Bro. John and we just don't have the money right now, Bro. John, and I uh, I think we'll just have to cancel the project."

I hate to say this sports fans, but I have been burned more by 'so called' Christians than by any of the people in the world system. They seem to just about always keep their word. Why is that?

What has it come down to here? Are we that 'dull of hearing'? Are we just that ignorant of what God's Word says about taking care of our obligations; especially to those of 'the brethren'?

Ole Papa Corleone always said, "keep your enemies close but keep your friends closer."

Go to the music page on the website and look up "Had a Friend".

...yummy

I awoke to the sounds of Sam coming in the back door of the main house.

His cheerful greeting to the house in general more or less set the tone for the day as I sat up and tried to decide whether or not to put on my house shoes before making my way to the bathroom. Our floor has rugs in some places but not in others. A cold floor is not my friend.

I tried to call Di and got her message. She had left earlier to be with our daughter. They were to spend some time together at Denny's. I won't elaborate on my thoughts on that subject. It would be negative and I'm just not going there today.

I wondered where everyone was as I walked across the open field to the back door of the church. The brisk wind was pushing me along as if it were in a hurry to get me to my destination. I hadn't been out in the cold to this extent thus far this year and I immediately thought of the ones that are sleeping out in this on a regular basis.

My friend Steve was entering the church as I arrived. He looked his usual rumpled self and was carrying a big bag of dirty clothing over his shoulder as he held the door for me.

"Good morning my brother", I said as I passed. "Doing some 'maintenance'?" I was referring to the bag of clothes but he answered as 'the janitor', "No I'm off today. I plan on getting some laundry done while no one else is around."

Isn't it funny how we misinterpret what others say? I meant one thing and Steve heard another.

I opened the office door and immediately got to work on finishing up the project from the night before. I suppose I may have spent an hour on it and I had what I wanted ready for the morrow and so I slipped one of my CDs into the computer tray and waited.

In just a moment the first song came up. I thought of the hundreds of songs that Di and I have written and wondered where most of them are. I haven't done a very good job of keeping track of them for the most part. I work on them extensively when they are new but as time goes by and another takes it's place, I lose track of what I did with it unless I am using it in my playlist. his particular CD is probably about ten years old or more.

I think that it would be good to reproduce it. I have a much better sense of what I want them to sound like now and I am definitely a better engineer than when I did them then. I guess, like most things, songs get better with time. The aging, maturing, settling takes place and I get comfortable with the timing and the phrasing and the feel.

Look at me, I've rambled on here for almost 20 minutes now and haven't even noticed the passing of the time. I love it when the flow takes over and the words just "come".

My whole purpose in writing anything on this Thanksgiving Day was to tell all of you how much I love you and how much you mean to me and how often I think of where you are and what you might be doing at just that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving my beautiful ones. Please pray for us as we keep the candle lit here in the inner city.

John

...and the there was....

The day played out like a long string unwinding across the yard on a windy day.

I got up just in time to make the devotional in the Prayer Room. I had missed being there for a few days and really looked forward to seeing everyone and being involved in the fellowship in the Word.

Pastor Bond was delayed and that took a little time out of the meeting at first but everyone got involved in the discussion and brought out many good points until we eventually ran out of time, as usual and finally prayed for the rest of the day; going our separate ways.

I answered the phone over and over again and stayed with it until well after everyone else went home. I like it when its quiet and no one is yelling at someone or something or asking for something you can't get right away, but that another story.

I did get to spend a very pleasant dinner with my best friend. We sat across from each other and smiled that knowing smile, enjoying the knowing without having to say anything. I have loved her for almost 30 years and yet it seems like only a few weeks have passed since I opened that door and she was standing there.

I looked at my watch and realized that I was missing the news. Had it really been that long since I had pulled back the covers and put my feet on the floor, hoping that there was coffee ready? Yes, and to make matters worse I hadn't finished what I had originally set out to do for the day.

I don't ordinarily like distractions but somehow, today had been filled with them and I had been alright with it.

Looking around again I thought,"What have I done today?"

...draggin'

The hours are long; sometimes too long.

I didn't even want to get up today. Have you ever in your life wanted to just stay in bed and let the covers hold you like your mother did when you were first born and cute and ..., well you might not have been cute exactly. Not all babies are cute.

Anyway, I just wanted to roll over onto a nice cool spot on the sheets and drift right back off into 'slumberland' and forget all about how many things I have lined up to do today. Drat!

Of course there's always the phone; your other ego lying there close by just itching to ring. It does.

"Hello... yeah, I was just leaving. How far away did you say you are? Okay, I can be there in about half an hour or so. Can you bring me a, uh, Starbucks when you come? Okay, thanks.... yeah, bye."

Like I said, the hours are just too long.