... and then we make it harder.

I listened to my grandson complain about having to write an essay on the blues. His approach was that he didn't like the blues and therefore why should he have to write about it?
How often do we use that poor excuse in our daily lives? "I don't like (something) so I shouldn't have to do it."
What would it have been like if Jesus didn't like something; let's say for instance healing people? How many people would die because of that?
I find myself looking at this with different eyes. There are so many things I don't like. What if I didn't do them just because I don't like them?
People have a leak underneath their trailer. I don't like going under trailers so I don't fix the leak. What happens then? Does the leak "go away"? Does it fix itself? If I ignore it long enough, will it get better on it's own?
Our stubborn selfishness really does hurt us in more ways than we know.
I think that's one of the reasons God wants us to do "spiritual push ups". If we 'suffer' a little we get stronger and become more and more capable of handling tougher things that will surely come our way sooner or later.
The alternative is bleak at best. If everything is left undone that we "don't like"; well then what's the end result? More things that we don't like.
I think we complain far too much about little things ... and then we make it harder.

new friends are so much fun

I got an email from a friend that she was opening her first blog.
She has taken on a "persona" as a french artist from the 1860's and so I encouraged her to do a blog and "write the story" of the character as if it were currently happening but in the time period of her character, "Constance Bleuvert".
She has a website for her art and it has been a real treat to see her add pieces on a regular basis. You can easily see the ever improving style emerging along with her keen eye for detail and choice of media.
This latest venture is very promising due to the fact that she is also encompassing a style that is fast becoming the new avant garde; Steampunk.
I have looked up the term and am quite amazed at the beauty and skill and "atmosphere" generated by this newly evolving art form.
And so I answered my new friends blog using my French pronunciation, Jean, instead of John, to play along as it were. One never gets to old for make believe you know.
New friends are so much fun.

...and so we look forward not back.

I get up in the morning and look for my shoes and socks and a cup of fresh coffee, hoping my eyes will fully open before I have to head out the door for the day. Why is it that some people are wide awake in the mornings while others like me are quasi-confused for the first half hour or longer?
I love the early mornings that have that ray of sunshine piercing the slats of the window shade. It is so clean and powerful and yes, even inspiring. The motivation of being able to see clearly and cleanly without a fog or cloudiness blocking the vision gives me a sense of well being and comfort.
Sipping that first sip of good strong brew so expertly made by my beautiful one adds to the invigoration as well. I actually look forward to what is coming even though it may be an excursion underneath a wet and nasty trailer to repair that recently discovered leak; which more often than not has been oozing water for over a month.
"looking forward"; what an expression. We 'look back', 'look back on', look forward', 'look forward to'; and more, but I seem to linger on the look forward. I know that we aren't supposed to 'worry' about tomorrow and I normally don't but I do "look forward" a lot. I look forward to what I will be doing on the weekend or what I'll be playing at the next church service and of course I look forward to what Di is cooking quite a bit.
Looking back has too many disadvantages. I have too much history to make any sense of the looking back practice. There are just too many skeletons in that closet; many of which I detest and frankly refuse to visit ever again.
I am so glad that I am forgiven and restored. The Potter has done a work here and I intend to keep it intact and operating at maximum efficiency if at all possible.
I suppose that's why I look forward as much as I do.
...and so we look forward and not back

... and we shall receive.

I have been working about 40 hours a week at the park. It all but drains me by the end of the week to the point of not having any energy to do other things. I need to be at the studio a certain amount of the time to address website issues, record, goof off.... With no energy comes no inspiration and very little progress so I began to ask the Lord for a split in the time; devoting half of the time to the park and the other half to the studio.
This past week at the studio I got an order for 200 CDs, a short recording session and some work on a website, all of which paid. That made as much as I would have made in a whole week working at the park and  took less than 15 hours to complete.
Don't ever think that God isn't listening to our prayers, because he is.
Trust is such valuable commodity. If it is in place, all we have to do is ask .... and we shall receive.

Will it really come back to me?

I have played guitar for over 45 years. I'm not very good at it mind you, but I love it so. For some time now I have wondered if I could recapture the form I once had when in my 30's and 40's I could easily play for hours upon end and still have something left. But when I began to play as part of the worship team at church I soon realized that I wasn't in very good shape musically. By the end of a normal service my hands would be hurting and the deep grooves in my fingers actually hurt. I wondered then if I could even play through a whole service without breaking down and having to stop.
About that time we lost our piano player and I became the main instrument. We have a very strong Bass player and a good drummer, which helps a great deal, but I just did not have the "chops" I once enjoyed and it was evident.
 I even began to wonder if my playing days were coming to a close. Would I be able to hold up under the weight of such a position or would I have to bow out and pray for someone to take my place on the team?

To date, I have been able to do what has been asked of me almost to the letter. I have had some musical issues, like not knowing enough chords to make a song entirely right, but for the most, I have 'run the race'.
My hands take a beating but I do believe that I am gaining on the challenge, perhaps even making some headway. I spent about half an hour in the sanctuary alone tonight, going over a couple of new songs and I feel good about them.
I have to say at this point that it has to be God's grace that keeps me going. Nothing else can explain the improvement because nothing has really changed unless you take into consideration my attitude about it all. I grumbled at first but then I realized that I had a chance to 'play' again and nothing is better than that. Like I said, I love it so. God continues to give Dianna and I new songs and new ways to present them so I guess he's not done with me yet.
I am reminded of a statement my friend Jack always uses when he's presented with a new challenge and things aren't going well. He's over 80 years old and still going strong. He says, "Never give up!"

it's been how long?

I was recently reminded that I hadn't written anything in my Blog this year by my beautiful wife. Her gentle urging sunk in and I promised myself that I would pay closer attention to what is going on around me and come up with something to blog about that may be of interest.
It didn't take me long to figure out that I had a lot of things to share, but which one should I chose?
My grandson comes to the top of the list almost immediately and so I have devoted this segment of my thoughts to him.
My wife and I have been his guardians for a couple of years now and thankfully things have settled down into somewhat of a regular pattern even with those notable exceptions that all teens have to exhibit from time to time.
Overall I couldn't ask for a better helper when it comes to doing the daily chores around the park and his general attitude has greatly improved from what is was in the beginning. I don't really have any negatives to relate and that's a good thing.
I have often wondered just what it was that set things in motion for me as teen. What I mean by that odd statement is what was the catalyst that sent me in the direction I chose to go when I had so many choices back then. If there ever was a unique beginning to one's teenage years mine has to take first prize.
I don't mean that I was a prize, far from it. I am saying that there were many extraordinary circumstances that played a huge part in how and why I did a lot of the things I did. Those 'adventures' in life were as varied as the company I kept at any given moment and bear telling, but not here, not now. Maybe at some later date when I can sit down and pull them all apart and examine them one at a time. We'll see.
But back to the subject at hand. My grandson is a marvel ... yes, a marvel.
I don't know of anyone that is brighter or quicker on his feet than he and when it comes to covering his "assets", he is already a pro. I could relate many stories of catching him in a "little white lie" here and there because you would have thought that he had rehearsed a play by the dialogue he comes up with on a moment's notice ... out of the blue and if I didn't know better I would have believed every word.... but like I say, I know better.
I don't want to paint a dreary picture here, I just want to make things clear. He is extraordinary in many ways and I have the highest of hopes for him in the future... but I am after all a realist too.
In retrospect, I would have to say that I am so much the better for having known him and having spent as many hours as I have close by. I have learned a great deal and expect to learn a great deal more before it's all said and done.
If you get the chance to meet him, don't pass it up.... but don't tell him I told you.

.... ouch

It pains me to think of my 'former life' with all its mistakes and grief.
I was a bad boy and I liked it, but things are much different now. After coming to my senses, I have a great life, an even greater wife and a family to be part of, and I really would like to keep it that way.
Yesterday I got a call from a relative in trouble. She explained the situation and asked for my help. Heretofore our relationship had basically quietly ended and I thought that I would be the last person in the world she would ever ask for any help. Still, in the back of my mind I wanted to reach out and try  to do something for her; even the smallest of gestures to show her that I still loved her and cared about her. I hadn't stopped loving her, it was just better to leave her alone and not get involved in all the drama she instigates on a regular basis. For some reason she has to have some form of confrontation going at all times.
In this case the issue involved a range of things that could be handled in a variety of ways and she was asking for a very strong approach to the problem that had an element of danger to it that I wasn't willing to get into. "The old John" would have relished a good challenge like this but I'm not that person anymore; thank God.
 I called a friend that is very familiar with these kinds of issues and got some really sound advice. I then called my relative back and was promptly turned down flat. She didn't want to hear the advice or the listen to the solution my friend had offered, she just wanted 'her way'. The advice was sound and would put her in a position where she could have a much better life and be safe from the "elements" endangering her. As we finished up the conversation I asked her to "think about it and call me back". I'm really not expecting the phone to ring anytime soon with her at the other end of the line.

I can look back on some of the very worst decisions I ever made and more often than not, there was another direction being pointed out to me by some well meaning person sitting on the sideline observing with an unbiased eye.
Why is it that we are so self destructive and selfish? You would think that a person with a better than average IQ could see the way more clearly; especially when it's being pointed out to them by someone that knows all the angles and all the ups and downs and is more often than not a lot smarter.
 I hung up the phone thinking to my self, "Well, that's probably the last time she'll call me for help...."
"I love you ...ouch...."