... wasn't one I was pleased with.

I lost my temper today.
I have been hoping for a resolution to an issue at church but it wasn't forth coming and I 'lost it' for a minute. Not everyone saw it happen but several did, and for that I am sorry.

Why is it that after all these years I still can't control my temper? I have tried so very hard to do just that and still the "old John" surfaces with a vengeance, rearing his ugly head in a manner not conducive to good Christian behavior. Even if I am in the right I shouldn't have to bark at someone to express my opinion. I should be able to either keep my big mouth shut or say something .... in love ...that relates my 'concern' without the loud retorts. Drat!
I know some might be amused at this while others roll their eyes and think other thoughts, but this really bothers me. As I said, I have worked on this for many years.
My prayer partner and I addressed the issue tonight after service and I know that will be beneficial in the end, but what about the 'damage', if any, that I did?
Anger can destroy. It can override love. It can kill.
Yes, I have had deadly thoughts before. I know others do as well. I am so very glad that I haven't acted on them but still they were there. I could have. Only God's grace and mercy have kept me from hurting others in the past.
I don't believe I'm capable of any real actions of that nature now, but in times past... I was.

I have to thank God for changing my heart in many ways. And I also have to thank my beautiful wife for helping me become more loving and considerate and certainly more of a modern, real Christian. Oh, I know I'm not 'there' yet, but I'm on my way. I can write about it. I can share with others about it. I can overcome if I keep trying, and I will, you can depend on it.
The worst part about all of this is the aftermath. Waiting for the eventual outcome is tedious at best. I don't idle well, as most of you know. I am built for action not waiting.

I'm sure I'll write more on this topic in the future. I am taking my annual inventory.
Each year I look back at what has transpired over the course of the days and months that have gone by and try to make some sense of how well or how badly I have done in certain areas. Sometimes it's not a very pretty picture. In some areas I do okay..... this just wasn't one that I was pleased with.

...there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?

So, do ya think Santa's worn out yet?

The jolly ole fat man has got to be on a respirator right now. I have seen him everywhere you can imagine and I'm only one observer. Just try to think of how many other places he has been in the past two weeks and then multiply that by a dozen or more. 

I am forever amazed at all the ways we use Santa.

Why, I've seen Santa's on surfboards, Santa's in sports cars, Santa's robbing convenience stores, Santa's standing out in front of every store you can think of, and inside them as well, greeting all the little children, hoping they don't wet on their laps as they sit for hours listening to all the outlandish requests.

I even saw Santa on television taking requests for Ford pick ups and sedans from youngsters with a selfish, demanding spirit, thinking only of what they were trying to get. 

We spend millions on lights and are still in the dark when it comes to the real meaning of Christmas, but that's a topic for another day.

I play Santa at our church. I get a big kick out of seeing the look on the faces of the little ones that still wonder if he is real.The adoration is so evident and yet, there is a bit of a question on most of those faces. They have been presented with so much make believe and video imagery that they surely have to wonder, "Is he really real?".

And yet, I play the part as best I can and "Ho, ho, ho" all day to keep them entertained.

But wouldn't it be nice to give the ole fat man a rest? He has been so overly used that I marvel at the longevity of his character.

We should all take his place. We wouldn't even have to wear a red suit or a scratchy wig and fake beard. We could just be ourselves and go around cheering everyone up with our smiles and our little gifts that mean so much when given in person. We could share the responsibilities of who furnishes food and who gets all the presents together; some do one thing and some do the other, that way it wouldn't all fall on one person's shoulders like it does Santa.

The television stations would have more stories than they could show and more people than ever would get help because there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?

...what little there is of it.

I wrote a song entitled "Had A Friend" a number of years back. It laments the friendship gone wrong and waxes poetic if not a little political. The friend had done a few things that jeopardized our friendship but I really wanted to keep the friendship going anyway. Friends should overlook certain behaviors, right? The relationship cratered anyway.

Now I find myself in somewhat the same predicament and dreading the outcome as much as I did back then.

an appropriate Scripture comes to mind which reads, "Am I your enemy because I tell you the truth?"

We have to stand up for what we feel is right; otherwise chaos rules.

I am certainly no angel, nor am I saint. And yes, I have done some terrible things in the past, for which I will have to answer I'm sure, but still, I anguish over friendships gone awry.

I have never been one to make a lot of friends. I know a lot of people and for the most part, they are good and decent individuals with good hearts and minds and good values. But there are the few that boggle the mind with their games and 'plays' and subterfuges. 

I still love them, don't get me wrong, but still I have to stand up for, or stand aside because of ...to keep that peace, that marvelous peace; what little there is of it.

....if you get the time

I made another trip to Lawton this morning.

Jack had to pick up some Jack's Answer and we also  needed to film the factory for his upcoming 'infomercial'.

I have  never done a commercial like this before; actually filming and editing from start to finish.

The ideas have been swarming around inside my little brain for a few days but I still don't have the inspiration for how I want top approach it. What angle will do the most good for Jack.

He works so hard. I don't believe that I have ever known anyone that works like Jack  does.

He gets up some mornings at 4 or 5 o'clock and goes all day "selling". I wouldn't be surprised if he talks in his sleep.

I had asked him about his book. He more or less sluffs it off and says he does n't have time to do  it but he really  needs to get it down on paper. At least that way he would have a record of his life. He has done some amazing things.

At one time he owned the world's largest Emu herd. That in and of itself is amazing. The use of Emu oil has grown by leaps and bounds in the past ten or so years. Scientists are just now finding out some of the miraculous effects of this old world product. The Chinese have used Emu oil for centuries.

In just got off the phone with an old friend from Colorado. He calls from time to time and we badger each other back and forth. I always know it's him because he starts off the conversation with the Navy fight song and I counter with the Marine Corps Hymn. He really loves the Lord. We talk about what he is seeing in the lives of those around him and what he reads in the Word that is so telling in regard to present times. I can always depend on him to encourage and edify while we are on the line together.

It really is a blessing to have strong Christian friends. You just never know when you might need 'lifting up' or when you might need to be "the encourager" instead of the "encouragee".

I picked up another website.

It is called "Angel Links.org". The lady that runs the Foundation is from Ghana. They work with people there providing much needed mosquito netting. The Malaria rate is very high in Ghana and the nets actually save lives. Isn't it funny how something as simple as a mosquito net can be the difference between life and death? Another area Angel Links Foundation covers is Breast Cancer awareness and Mammograms for women with little or no income in need of the service. I'l know a lot more about them once I get the site up and running. Take a look if you get the time....

...keep my ear to the ground ....

The sun is shining and the wind has gone somewhere else to blow. What a near perfect day it is outside.
I could lean back and take a nap right now but there is just too much to do.

Mean Streets Ministry has taken off with a bang. That pleases me very much. I can't get over the response we get from people we have never met before. They seem to act as though we have been friends for years. I like that. I have rarely ever meet a stranger anyway, but this is going to be easy to get used to.
I stopped to eat at a local restaurant and the waitress asked me if I was a veteran. I had on a camo shirt from Desert Storm someone gave me a week or so back.
"Yes", I replied, "I was in the Marine Corps."
A guy from across the room shouted out, "Semper Fi, Man!"
I was elated. We spoke for a few minutes and he ended up getting a CD after giving us a small donation. He had on a biker outfit and is interested in helping us do a 'Poker Run' next Spring.
I'll explain a Poker Run another time.

I am truly hopeful this turns into a full time job for me. I know I can help a lot of people if we have the funds to keep everything going the way we have it set up.
Everything takes money. I hate that. It would be so nice if all we had to do was gather up what we need from the "storeroom" and head out for the streets. I anticipate that day arriving in the near future though. God knows what we need before we even ask for it so I expect to see the supplies arriving in the near future; including an office with a warehouse area.
For now, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing and keep my ear to the ground for what's next.

...a work worthy day

The day has gone by so fast I didn't realize that it was already dark outside.
I have been getting ready for the outreach tomorrow. A group from Tinker Air Force Base is going to bring donations of clothing and health care items to OKC Compassion and distribute them to the people living there.
I hadn't been to OKC Compassion in awhile. They lost their building and kitchen and had to move the offices into a house. I knew about the situation from several of my contacts downtown but I don't know the full scope of what is actually going on there. They do such good work, with a few exceptions of course. There are always "the exceptions" in any program, I just hope for the best and go on with what I feel the Lord would have me do, right?

I spent a few hours on artwork and forms today. We didn't have a donation form for Mean Streets yet, so I made that my first priority when I arrived. After about an hour I had both donation and invoice forms ready to go.
I also designed a plaque for the "Scratch Tracks" album and made it into a stand alone sign we can leave with stores and organizations that are selling it for us.
I will load some CD cases in a few minutes and then head for the house. Di has her Thursday Prayer meeting going as we speak. I'll try to time my arrival for just after they all go home.
All in all a work worthy day.

...how he's doing.

I am looking for the best way to help my friend. I have determined that it would help a lot if I can get him out of his 'comfort zone' where he hides on a regular basis with his dog. His trailer is a shambles but that comes with the territory, so to speak when someone is on a binge.
I knocked on the door this morning and woke him. It was almost noon. He hadn't answered his phone all morning and sure enough, he was still asleep on the couch where I left him last night at about  9:30.
I had gone over to try and help him get online on his new laptop, but I was unsuccessful.
I really need more experience with these new phones. I tried to hook up with his WiFi connection on his iPhone.

The fifth he had been working on wasn't down as much today as was yesterday. It looks as though he had indeed cut down on his consumption.
I left with the thought of returning later. I have a small project in mind that will get him out of the house for a while and perhaps give him some inspiration. He just needs a 'nudge', I hope....
I will report later on how I'm doing, or better yet, ...how he's doing.