... I would much rather go home

It has been days since my last post. I have been on the run and for good reason.
I met a pastor from Nigeria not too long ago and since then we have been working on getting his video department up and running. This will take full advantage of all the sermons he has done in the past and the ones he will do in the future.
I am hoping to get all of his editing. Toward that point I have upgraded my editing software and upon its arrival we will be in the Pro category! My old software is good, no doubt, but upgrading to the professional version allows me a much better format for the HD footage we are shooting.
There will be a learning curve, but that's good to. I need to be better equipped for what is to come. Having better tools means better results.
Another good event has been the addition of One Lord Media Group to the One Lord arsenal. We are now ready to publish books for ourselves and others. We have even secured our first book to edit, format and print. The author is in Hamilton, New Zealand, halfway around the world. I am excited to get her book because she has a good sense of what is going on in her writing and is also open to help with the edit points that have issues . Pray that we get a good manuscript as we work together and that it resonates with the readers once we go to print.

On a sadder note, I have to report that Dianna's Dad is not doing well. He had to go to the hospital a few days ago and is now in a health care facility. He can't get up on his own anymore and for a man that has been self sufficient all of his life, that is a real problem. I visited for a few minutes yesterday. Seeing all of the elderly walking up and down the halls is, for the most, depressing. The looks on their faces and the slow shuffle from place to place is difficult to watch. I can image their lives only a few short years ago. The vitality and energy is gone and now they seem a mere shell of what used to be.
I certainly do not look forward to that . I would much rather go home.

.....heaven forbid

I got an email from a friend. She got the news that her Blog has gone from 75 hits a day to 800.
Her entry into the new Steampunk rage has ignited the interest of thousands to her wonderful art.
If you haven't heard, Steampunk is a combination of fashion, machinery and art and history. I am totally impressed.
Not that it's for me, mind you, or ever would be, but it's the fact that I see the great attention to detail in all of it and marvel at the minds of the men and women involved. I just can't see myself in 1920's garb wearing a set of aviator goggles and knee boots while riding a bicycle with a huge front wheel.
I can totally relate to the tools and machines I see. They are ever so cleverly designed and made with great craftsmanship and highly functional to boot.
The clothes revert back to a day gone by that embellished everything. Nothing has been left idle. Everything lends itself to the polished and well designed. I find myself intently looking at the attention to detail and how different ones used modern things to look old but not worn out. Quite the opposite. Almost everything looks freshly made and expensive. When I see some of the designs I instantly think, "I want one!", but that in and of itself would make me a "Punker", wouldn't it?
Let me think about this a bit more. Have I been bitten by the "Steampunk Bug"? Heaven forbid.

...how many are crying....

The water was accumulating on my windshield as I waited for the engine to warm. I watched it trickle down the glass as though it had somewhere important to go.
I had watched the news while sipping my morning coffee and was glad to 'click it' off and head for the studio.
People are so strange. I don't know why the news channels pick what they do to air. With all the real news being stifled or just plain ignored, one would think that the moguls would want to entertain the public in much better ways.
I'm no analyst, but wouldn't it be much better to have uplifting, energy producing segments? The horrible gets front page and the good, peaceful, restorative gets back page or no page at all.
I look back on the times I watched the news with my grandparents. They faithfully watched the news every night; mostly for the weather. That's not to say that they weren't cognizant of the happenings around the town and state and nation. They were. It's just that they took a greater interest in what was going on around them; the things that mattered to them specifically.
Comments were made about hair styles and trends and who was 'in the news' at the time.
You could easily understand their opinion and point of view on any subject. If it was good, clean news it was alright. If it had even an ounce of the tawdry, decedent, or "Communist view" in it we immediately turned it off and got busy doing other things like homework or dishes. Needless to say, they were died in the wool Baptists with strict opinions based on their upbringing.
My how we have changed. If it looks back to another day most young people discard it immediately. We are too archaic and 'old fashioned' to hear them tell it. Sound familiar?
Yes, that seems to be the way of things today. If your parents are for it, it must be wrong or outdated.
Have we really gained anything over the years by not following our parents' example? I think not. I think we have suffered because we didn't follow some of those tried and true methods of succeeding.
I'll go even farther. We are going to suffer even more unless we get back to those 'core values' we were taught in the 50's and 60's by the stalwart, life educated people that were brave enough to speak out, even against tremendous odds.
More and more I see the beginning fall of our country.
We have elected a heathen to lead us and given him the front door keys to all the power. Everyday he sits in office means one more day he can subvert and con volute the truth. I may not be a very good citizen but I am informed. They haven't taken that away.... yet. We can all still 'see' and 'hear' and 'feel'. Well, maybe not all. Someone had to elect him.
I don't have to be in Washington to read what I see on the screen. You can't hide evil for very long. It will rear it's ugly head sooner or later and it's much later than most people think.
It may not be very much longer before people like me will be silenced for speaking their mind openly like this. I have to say it while I still can.
Read your Word. It's there. "Men's hearts will wax worse and worse...." and have.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. That is where our salvation lies. That is where our peace comes from. That is the way the truth and the life.... no man comes to the Father but by "Him".... Jesus, the Light of the world.
Yes, I watched the rain run down my windshield. It made me think of how many are crying...

...if that's even a word.

I waited all day for a certain person to arrive at the studio. Didn't happen. I'm still waiting. It's 7:51 PM. They are almost 8 hours late.
The communication throughout the day was more or less one sided.
"I'm hung up here.... give me a few more minutes and I'll be there."
The stop was supposedly only for a few minutes and then 'straight to the studio'.

I am  disappointed but not angry. That's a first for me. I usually get mad and raise my blood pressure several degrees past safe. However, I am looking at the person in a much different light. I won't be so easily taken in by their word next time and I will make a "plan B" for sure.
I did get a lot of work done today but not at all what I would have liked. I fully intended to do other things; things that would have changed a lot of what I do here each day.
My general workflow has me working on two or three computers at the same time, getting two or more jobs done in half the time it would normally take. So in the end I really did get a days work in instead of two.
For the past few years I have worked with over 30 ministries doing various projects with and for them; often doing two or more at a time. I started doing it that way when In got behind on a CD project while I was doing a recording project and rendering some video files on a third computer.
I literally wore out the 1/2 inch plywood decking I put under my chair in a month and rep;laced two of the wheels on my chair.
Oddly enough, I like the pace. It keeps my mind busy and I don't get distracted unless the phone rings too much and I have to stop what I'm doing to deal with the calls. The day zooms by and I see a lot of results in a short period of time.
But not today.
I had to deal with the new computer's idiosyncrasies so I stayed with one computer and rode out the storm. I look forward to getting the bugs out of it. It's built to run very fast but not lately. For some odd reason it is acting up and causing a huge slow down in progress.
And so here I sit, reasoning with my thoughts in an effort to keep my nerves calm and "unagitated"; if that's even a word.

From awhile back, reflecting

We as trees.
As a writer I consider myself much like a tree among many other trees in the forest. When you pare away the leaves you come to the branches. When you take away the branches you find the trunk or the body. Inside the body is the sap, the blood if you will, that brings life to the tree, creating the leaves, or the pages, for the rest of the world to see or read.
When ‘the blood is up’ the creative juices are flowing. The blood rises and generates the warmth of the thoughts that surge and push the life source outward to the edges, into the capillaries of the branches, the fingers and brain cells, feeding them, enhancing them, pulsing through them producing the leaves, the pages for all the rest of the forest to see, to read.
What makes my leaves better than the other leaves? What makes my pages more appealing? What is that entity in the sap that energizes the sap, the blood, that makes the leaf the way it is? There is no other leaf like that leaf. There is no other page like that page. What makes that page standout from the rest of the tree? What makes that leaf special?
I realize am not the creator. I never was; where once I considered myself the source, I now know that I am the creation, skillfully wrought. There is that spirit, that force within me that stirs and emboldens the life blood within my trunk. Cut me open and read my rings, my history if you will. What have I had to say all this time that is noteworthy? Am I just some woeful, plain elm with small veins in my leaves, that all look the same? Or am I a mighty Mulberry that grows tall and strong and bears sweet fruit in the end?
And will I stand as the winds of time blow strong and stiff against me, trying to uproot me from my place in the forest? Or will I bow low, bending to the course and sultry tormentor yet not breaking even though limbs are torn away and I am bloodied and beaten? How will I fare? Will I be sawn asunder by the public lumberjacks and cut up into some commercial cabinet to be put on display in some kitchen or used as firewood that cooks the meal?
How has the leaf grown? Has the fresh pollen, the experiences of the other leaves left anything of value for me to use? Am I not dependent on that pollen to grow and survive, unfurling in the breeze of life and riding on the winds of change with the rest of my contemporaries?
What place have I been given in the forest? Am I a prominent tree set upon the hilltop with long flowing limbs and portly trunk? Do the children play amongst my branches and seek safety within them when danger approaches and they are in need of refuge? Or have I been planted in the hedgerow amidst the thorns and thistle to be used as a climbing pole, covered over by the creeping vines of degradation and deceit; surely not.
 Nay, I want to stand tall and rise above my fellow ‘woodsmen’, reaching great heights. Not to be above the others mind you; just able to see what goes on around me without the encumbrances that so many other trees experience, being too close together to have their own opinion; looking the same and never progressing.
Oh yes, I feel the drama of the forest and would never make light of the fact that we are what we are, made in his likeness and skillfully, wondrously crafted and individually so. Just as there are no two fingerprints alike I see that there are no two leaves alike and I enjoy that reality ever so much.

...close by and looming

Di handed me a full page of printed material from an online friend.
It hit me right between the eyes. I wasn't expecting such a stern message more or less directed at me. It was as though it had been written for me and me alone.
I have read a lot of messages from people we know online and for the most part they have been very encouraging with exhortations meant to lift our spirits and cheer us on. This message challenged me in a way I haven't been challenged in a long time.
It more or less said, "It's all up to you." It put the ball directly in my court. Basically, it said that I could make or break my upcoming year according to my actions. I would either be successful or fail depending to how I reacted spiritually. That's strong; very strong.
It went on to say that if I don't "get right" with the Lord I wouldn't make it. Plain and simple, no beating around the bush, no pleading the case with a lot of slobbery dialogue, just a blunt declarative statement of the cold hard facts.
I received it. I actually believe that we are in the Last Days ...and if we are not careful we could lose our salvation by being too complacent and lazy and selfish. We have too much. The American life style has become extravagant and self serving. Too much of our daily life is built around our personal needs while too many others go without because they have too little. I'm not turning Communist here, it's just that I see how we waste so much of what we have and think very little about the future and what will or will not be available then. Is it just me, or do you see it too?
I've never been a doomsday person but from what I read in the Word and from what I hear and see going on all around me I get the distinct impression that we are a lot closer to the end of time than anyone realizes.

The Lord said he would come back like a thief in the night; when no one expects it. The stage is set for just that. Almost all the pieces are in place, as we speak, to make it happen and yet, too many of us are in the dark about it .
I have more urgency welling up in me than ever before. Do you feel it? It's like a huge, worldwide blanket descending on us, smothering the light so we don't see clearly.
If I'm not mistaken all that's left to come about is the 7 year treaty with Israel. Then the end.
Like I said, I'm not a doomsday person but I certainly get the distinct impression that something big is on the horizon; close by and looming.

... wasn't one I was pleased with.

I lost my temper today.
I have been hoping for a resolution to an issue at church but it wasn't forth coming and I 'lost it' for a minute. Not everyone saw it happen but several did, and for that I am sorry.

Why is it that after all these years I still can't control my temper? I have tried so very hard to do just that and still the "old John" surfaces with a vengeance, rearing his ugly head in a manner not conducive to good Christian behavior. Even if I am in the right I shouldn't have to bark at someone to express my opinion. I should be able to either keep my big mouth shut or say something .... in love ...that relates my 'concern' without the loud retorts. Drat!
I know some might be amused at this while others roll their eyes and think other thoughts, but this really bothers me. As I said, I have worked on this for many years.
My prayer partner and I addressed the issue tonight after service and I know that will be beneficial in the end, but what about the 'damage', if any, that I did?
Anger can destroy. It can override love. It can kill.
Yes, I have had deadly thoughts before. I know others do as well. I am so very glad that I haven't acted on them but still they were there. I could have. Only God's grace and mercy have kept me from hurting others in the past.
I don't believe I'm capable of any real actions of that nature now, but in times past... I was.

I have to thank God for changing my heart in many ways. And I also have to thank my beautiful wife for helping me become more loving and considerate and certainly more of a modern, real Christian. Oh, I know I'm not 'there' yet, but I'm on my way. I can write about it. I can share with others about it. I can overcome if I keep trying, and I will, you can depend on it.
The worst part about all of this is the aftermath. Waiting for the eventual outcome is tedious at best. I don't idle well, as most of you know. I am built for action not waiting.

I'm sure I'll write more on this topic in the future. I am taking my annual inventory.
Each year I look back at what has transpired over the course of the days and months that have gone by and try to make some sense of how well or how badly I have done in certain areas. Sometimes it's not a very pretty picture. In some areas I do okay..... this just wasn't one that I was pleased with.