....bang, bang, bang

I find myself reeling from the torrent of aggravating conversation being thrown at me. I'm not afforded the opportunity to respond and it frustrates me to the point of distraction. I haven't had to have this kind of patience in a long while and I wonder how I will bear up under the strain, not withstanding it could mean my job coming to an end abruptly if I don't handle this properly. I'm doing everything I know how to do what is aked of me but it doesn't seem to be enough and I'm at a loss as to what would be the best approach to solving this dilema amiably. How do you make a point when you can't finish a sentence? And better still, how do you gracefully correct someone that doesn't think they are wrong unless someone else points it out to them?
I do know one thing though, if I can weather this storm I just may apply for a job as an Ambassador to the Middle East.
On another front, I found out, or at least greatly suspicion that one of my friends has been lying to me about a project he wants my help with. I have invested a great deal of time in it thus far and he keeps telling me that 'the big payoff ' is just around the corner. I can't count the times I've heard that story.
I only know one thing for sure at this point, maybe two. I know how much I'm loved and appreciated by my sweet Love and by the Lord. That's good enough for anyone.

rollin', rollin', rollin'

As I touched my feet to the floor I wondered what I would have for breakfast. The bed covers were cool and felt soft to the touch. I so wanted to just roll over and go right back to sleep but I knew I needed to be "in the street" by at least nine, so I made my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
The schedule has drastically changed in the past two weeks and I anticipate an even busier agenda in the coming weeks. Jack, my new boss, even has me on a diet in an effort to look after my health and probably get me in shape to keep up with him. He may be 76 years old but you would never know it by the way he gets around. I would have thought he was not over 65 if I didn't know him.
Things will level out eventually and I'll have a better idea of what to expect in a few weeks, but until then, I intend to do my best to keep up with him.
I'll let you know how well I do.

...as the winds blow

I walked out to greet the day and wondered how high the temperature might get. We have been experiencing the nicer days after the two big storms of the past few weeks.
I drove along 10th street with the rest of the traffic and seeing the residue of the melted snow from the storms. All that was left was the dust and dirt that had been caught up in the beautiful white stuff, turning it brown and gritty.
I turned into the alley along the back of the church and noticed how much bigger the potholes had become; a very telling indicator of the weather's effects on the environment.
I long for the pleasant glimces of bright, warm sunshine through the windows. That feels so good, so comforting. It means that summer is just around the corner and I can have some watermelon!
And so, I stop for a moment and reflect on what we have been going through and compare it to the weather. I intend to grow more in the coming weeks and months than ever before. There are things "in the wings" that , should they come to fruition, will make a new book in the library or several songs on the radio or maybe even a better house for the Lord's to occupy that doesn't have steps to menace me each day.
I'll just have to wait and see... as the winds blow.

disappointments are temporary... aren't they?

I got my hopes up. That's not a good thing. I was expecting something big and it didn't happen. How many times has that 'promise' of prosperity been dangled like the proverbial carrot only to be dashed to bits against the wall of disappointment as you arrive at what was supposed to be a very positive end? I really can't complain. I have been so blessed it isn't funny. God has gone 'out of his way' so to speak to make sure I have what I need and I know it.
It's just that I wanted this thing to happen so badly and it didn't. I kept telling myself, 'Don't get your hopes up', but I did. It's a down right shame too. I had made some really neat plans.
Even if it doesn't come about, I can say that I had a good time planning the fun that didn't get to happen. Because in the end, the situation isn't over. It was supposedly poseponed for a month.
Now, will I get all built up again and get my feelings hurt again? I certainly hope not, but I'm the eternal optimist and ....
Disappointments are temporary, aren't they?

waiting is so fun.

I marvel at the unique experiences I am involved in from time to time. I think that sometimes we are being tested to see if we "pass" or not in the patience department and the 'am I gonna stick to it' department. It is far too easy to give up and let a chance go by that might be a life changing experience. How many of those do we miss in a lifetime? I wonder.
I arrived at the church to find that my internet connection was down, again. It seems that whenever they have the Wednesday night meetings, some people like to turn off everything before they leave. The only problem with that is the connection to my internet is in the office where everyone goes on those evenings and they always seem to turn off my connection by mistake. They have no idea that it is my internet connection upstairs, they just want to conserve electricity, blewss their hearts. The only bad thing about it is the fact that it takes about an hour to get the system restored to functionality again and I don't really like to do it. I'm rmindied of the movie, Cool Hand Luke. The warden stands, elevated above the prisoners, looking down on them in mild disgust and says, "What we have here .... is a failure to communicate...." How appropriate.
And so, I have just finished another hour going back and forth from downstairs to upstairs, making several trips in each direction, until I finally restored the blessed connection tom the outside world once again. Praise God.... from whom all blessings flow, as the song says.
We are up and running once again!

...crunch, crunch, crunch

The driveway was a bit more thawed out today.

I suppose the rising temps had a lot to do with it, but as I got into the Burb, I still felt cold and longed for the warmer days ahead.

I feel as though we have been 'submerged' in a way and not in a comfortable way at that.

I listened intently to the conversations at the 7-11 as I stirred my coffee. It tasted good going down and I was immediately reminded of the "monthly cost factor" and smiled. Jack has been instilling in me more and more of his idiosyncratic ways, one of which is to multiply everything by 30, giving you a monthly cost on what you are buying on a daily basis. I suppose it is a good thing to be conscious of expenditures but sometimes I feel like certain things are more than a mere 'expense'. Some things are 'creature comforts' or a therapy of sorts that keep one going.

I for one definitely believe in 'treats'. I see some people with big frowns on their faces all the time and I tend to think that they don't 'treat' themselves to things. I'm not talking about extravagant items; no not at all. I'm saying that you need to exhort yourself once in awhile with a coffee from Starbucks or 7-11 and enjoy it on the way in to the office. Start your day off right. It doesn't have to be everyday, but at least a couple of times a week would be nice wouldn't it?

The brightness of the sun on the snow is only good for one thing; an instant headache.

I reached for my sunglasses only to discover that they are not where I thought I left them. Drat!

I hate it when things are not where I expect them to be, don't you?

A friend came by for a visit. He is feeling the pains of being uncomfortable in his role within the ministry. I have yet to see anyone that doesn't develop that issue over time. For some it comes after about a year, but for the most part it happens within the first 6 months of being placed into position. The nervous tension of learning the job dissipates and the person settles in and that's when it happens. They look around and begin to find fault. Especially if the ones around them are doing the same thing. It has a domino effect on people. But you know what? Bless 'em. They have a right to question and they have a right to speak their minds and they most definitely have a right to an opinion; so I think i'l just leave it at that and let the people in charge sort out the rest of it.

I got out of the Burb and walked into the church and right up to my office. How blessed am I to have so many things to do? How blessed am I to have so many friends to interact with on a daily basis? How blessed indeed.

...driftin', driftin', driftin'....

I was awake several times in the night. It's a usual happening.

I get up, walk around, get a drink, get soda, get sleepy and go back to bed. That's a typical night.

Last night was a bit different in that I monitored the storm everyone has been announcing for the past two days. You would think that that there aren't any other issues in the world but the local weather. Now I know that it is important to observe the weather and that lives are sometimes at stake when it comes to dropping temps and the like, but give me a break. Do the television stations have to broadcast nothing but weather all day long? There are other parts of the world to consider. How about the people in Uganda that don't have anything to eat today? Does that rate as a news? Or how about the 25,000 children that died last night somewhere other than downtown Oklahoma City? That might be something to notice.

My point is that we are somehow drifting away from the real issues in life and overtly concentrating on much lesser things, and I would add, much to our detrement.`The important things seem to get buried in between the 'fluff' content that is so irrelevant yet so prevelent. How do we get back to seeing and dealing with the real issues and center on things to do that help people in trouble instead of things that only pertain to our comfort?

I know, you're probably saying, "What's gotten John up on his soapbox today?"

I don't really know other than I feel helpless at times when it comes to being really effective in certain areas. We do so little for the hurting and so much for the hurtful. It seems disporportionate, if I spelled that right, and I for one would like to see more effort put into getting to the bottom of real issues rather than playing up the 'fluff''. I know we can do better, I've seen it happen.
On a lighter note, I am excited about working with Jack. His 'right down to it' sense of doing things reminds me of my grandmother. Her approach was always straight forward and to the point, never pulling any punches and forever the disciplinarian. I don't know which of them would be considered to have the better attention to detail ratio. I would call it a tie and go from there. Even though Nanny has been gone for quite some time now, I still look back to visions of her reactions to things I did or did not do. It can be inspiring and yet sting. Her usual reaction was physical and immediate, but I know she had my best interest in mind. At least I like to think that was the case. Its far more inspiring to leave it that way than to go another direction.
In the end, we can make a difference if we try. There shouldn't have to be 'Soapboxers' like me calling attention to the 'driftin'.