...happy birthday to me!

The end of the song always reminds me of watching a child blow out his or her candles.

It doesn't seem to matter how old I get, I still enjoy my birthday week. Di always gets me a present for each day of the week and I look forward to every little nuance of 'the dance' as she anticipates when I will arrive and has a special package waiting for me as I come in the door.

I wonder how many people don't have a happy birthday? There must be millions. How sad to think that they won't be seeing the love in someone's eyes as they hand you that gift and wait to see your expression at receiving something tat means so much in whatever form.

Today finds me with Jack in Shawnee working the mall again. We have been disappointed at the response and the traffic. It should be a great deal more but its not. I wonder what God has in store for us in the next few weeks. We are waiting on important news that will determine a lot of our success in the coming days and I look for it to be a catalyst of sorts in setting things in motion that will lead to better and better circumstances for everyone concerned.

Thee are exciting times even though they are stressful and create a lot of questions in my mind.

I know God knows the answers; I just have to be patient and trust him through to the finish.

... a simple truth

How often do you wonder if someone is really telling you the truth?

I have a wonderful grandson that we have invested hours and days and weeks teaching, nurturing and praying for and with. The other day we got a report that he is failing in school. He has been telling us that 'everything is alright' on all fronts and we find out that it's not. He's failing in everything but Music.

He is supposed to graduate in May and go on to college to further his education in music but at this point I see no college in his future at all. He can only go if he gets some sort of scholarship. He is a very gifted cellist and guitar player but for whatever reason he has let down in the past few months and doesn't have the slightest interest in being active in anything other than his music. Even at that, I wonder how much he cares about that because he seldom practices.

His siblings are both self starters and it's difficult keeping up with them at times even though we are pretty 'hip' if you will excuse the use of such an archaic term.

What to do? It seems only right that he should 'carry his weight' around the house as do the others but it doesn't seem to occur to him that these things are important or even relevant.

Having been on my own since about the age of 15, I have always been a self starter and motivated to 'get into the action' at every opportunity, but not him. He would rather sleep late, not bathe, eat whatever is left over in the fridge instead of cook, wear last weeks clothes because he likes them( that day) and seldom participates with others in group activities.

I'm at a loss for words here. I would like to know a way to reach him and hopefully see 'the lights come on' in that head of his, so that he realizes how much he's missing. At 18, I was a Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps driving an Admiral around the base in Gitmo, (Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, 1967).

Someone, please, help me out here. I'm open for any and all suggestions, possible solutions or crazy ideas of any sort. I've been around homeless and low income people since 1987 and I see this in almost every one of them to some degree or another. Motivation is sorely lacking.

What to do?

watching the traffic come and go

I followed Jack in the door with my arms laden with heavy boxes of our brand new product.

It took us about an hour to get things the way he wanted them to look but in the end it was worth the effort to put the little jars in 'just the right spots'.

We had driven the 35 miles in anticipation of what we might experience but came away the first day disappointed at only making one sale the whole day long. Had we made a bad decision choosing this mall over others that might be better for what we have to offer? Only time would tell.

The following day started out much the same but by noon we had sold some product and filmed several testimonies for the website. I felt considerably better and I could easily see the more relaxed expression on Jack's face. I was sure there were other factors in play because the mall itself seemed inviting and well setup.

Sure enough, the answer came about 7 PM as a tall, lanky cowboy came up to me and asked me about Jack's Answer. We visited for a few minutes and he informed me that there was a baseball tournament in town for the weekend and that we probably wouldn't see as many people as might normally shop on a given weekend.

That was it! I hadn't considered the possibility that there might be other activities going on that would take traffic away from the al and send it somewhere else. After all it is the first of the month and everyone would 'have to ' come to the mall, if for no other reason than seeing what everyone else is doing, right?

I had left out the most important aspect of reasoning why we didn't have traffic. There are other choices in life when it comes to what other people are doing with their time. I just hadn't considered them being more important than buying some of our new products. I really must get out more.

...the rolling of the waves across the bow.

I was looking at my emails and read God at Eventide. How true the statement that we must learn fom our Lord if we are to truly succeed in life. We learn from so many other sources why not consider what God has for us over what man tells us is the direction or the instruction? I marvel at God's ways. I would never do things the way he has shown me, for the most part, because it seems to be against my nature to do it that way. Am I making any sense here or is this falling on deaf ears? I pray not because it is so true how God orchestrates our lives in a marvelous mystifying symphony only he could create.
Those of us that love music can so easlily relate to the day to day operations God has put in place for us. They always work and they always harmonize. The 'beats' are filled with a type of joy that radiates and envigorates and travels long distances to 'match up' with people that are apart in distance yet together in spirit. The Word even says there is no distance in the spirit.... somewhere. I need to look that up and read all around it to get even more 'music' for my soul.
The therapy is so nice.

....bang, bang, bang

I find myself reeling from the torrent of aggravating conversation being thrown at me. I'm not afforded the opportunity to respond and it frustrates me to the point of distraction. I haven't had to have this kind of patience in a long while and I wonder how I will bear up under the strain, not withstanding it could mean my job coming to an end abruptly if I don't handle this properly. I'm doing everything I know how to do what is aked of me but it doesn't seem to be enough and I'm at a loss as to what would be the best approach to solving this dilema amiably. How do you make a point when you can't finish a sentence? And better still, how do you gracefully correct someone that doesn't think they are wrong unless someone else points it out to them?
I do know one thing though, if I can weather this storm I just may apply for a job as an Ambassador to the Middle East.
On another front, I found out, or at least greatly suspicion that one of my friends has been lying to me about a project he wants my help with. I have invested a great deal of time in it thus far and he keeps telling me that 'the big payoff ' is just around the corner. I can't count the times I've heard that story.
I only know one thing for sure at this point, maybe two. I know how much I'm loved and appreciated by my sweet Love and by the Lord. That's good enough for anyone.

rollin', rollin', rollin'

As I touched my feet to the floor I wondered what I would have for breakfast. The bed covers were cool and felt soft to the touch. I so wanted to just roll over and go right back to sleep but I knew I needed to be "in the street" by at least nine, so I made my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
The schedule has drastically changed in the past two weeks and I anticipate an even busier agenda in the coming weeks. Jack, my new boss, even has me on a diet in an effort to look after my health and probably get me in shape to keep up with him. He may be 76 years old but you would never know it by the way he gets around. I would have thought he was not over 65 if I didn't know him.
Things will level out eventually and I'll have a better idea of what to expect in a few weeks, but until then, I intend to do my best to keep up with him.
I'll let you know how well I do.

...as the winds blow

I walked out to greet the day and wondered how high the temperature might get. We have been experiencing the nicer days after the two big storms of the past few weeks.
I drove along 10th street with the rest of the traffic and seeing the residue of the melted snow from the storms. All that was left was the dust and dirt that had been caught up in the beautiful white stuff, turning it brown and gritty.
I turned into the alley along the back of the church and noticed how much bigger the potholes had become; a very telling indicator of the weather's effects on the environment.
I long for the pleasant glimces of bright, warm sunshine through the windows. That feels so good, so comforting. It means that summer is just around the corner and I can have some watermelon!
And so, I stop for a moment and reflect on what we have been going through and compare it to the weather. I intend to grow more in the coming weeks and months than ever before. There are things "in the wings" that , should they come to fruition, will make a new book in the library or several songs on the radio or maybe even a better house for the Lord's to occupy that doesn't have steps to menace me each day.
I'll just have to wait and see... as the winds blow.