...lookin' for the rest

I have a really full schedule right now. The hours are long and I never seem to get done but I'm not complaining.... no sir, not me. I can recall the time, not too long ago in fact, when I didn't have anything happening and I was wondering when the next paycheck was going to come in because everything was due. I didn't have two nickels to rub together.
Times have definitely changed for the better.
I do miss the times here in the studio though, when I could pick and choose what I did. I answered to no one in particular, except the Lord, and I was always 'busy'.

I can honestly say that I don't simmer well. I always have to have something going or I stagnate rather quickly. The pace is swift but I like that as well.
When end of day comes around I always have more of the same to look forward on the morrow.
There is no lack of work, for the present and I'm liking it.
Does it seem to be that way a lot nowadays? I mean, is there just a lot more to do than there used to be all those years ago when we were younger and stronger and had more options; or so it seemed?

I'm still not gonna complain about bein' busy.

Harder or easier?

What makes things harder to do or easier to do?
I often find myself looking up and wondering, "Can this get any harder...?" Or, "Can this be any easier?"

Just what makes things harder for some and easier for others? Are we so smart or so dumb that activities seem to breeze by at a fast pace or slowly pass as though they will never end? 

I don't know about you but I wonder about these things more and more these days. My jobs are so varied that I never get bored with the same mundane task to do over and over like in a factory. I probably wouldn't last a week in a setting like that. My mind wonders and before you know it the assembly line would be backed up in both directions and the boss would probably be standing over me with a baseball bat.

I had a difficult job to do the other day. I tried one thing and then another until it finally came together, but not without a lot of effort on my part and some timely advice as to the best approach from an "old hand". It pays to have wise friends.

And as I sit here and type out the thoughts that come to mind from time to time I can only guess at what it is you think to be hard or easy. We all have our mountains to climb.

I only hope that you are having as good a time with them as I am presently.

... it was great.

I sat down to fix a few issues with one of the websites, thinking that I would be done in only a few minutes so I could go on to bigger and better things. That was not the case.
I looked at the clock a few hours later and realized that I had spent over four hours on what had started out to be a simple task.
Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You think that a job will be easy, simple and short lived but no, the other side of the coin surfaces and there you are, still at it several hours later.
Fortunately I was doing something I like to do and not an arduous task like crawling under a trailer to fix a busted pipe. That was the case a few days ago when I spent two long days trying to help a friend in need. He and his wife are wonderful people and I was happy to help them out but it wasn't the most enjoyable time.
As I sat back and looked at the nearly project I realized that I had done a lot more than I intended, but in doing so I had created something of worth and that in and of itself was very satisfying.
I don't purport myself to be any great artist or a big thinker or anything like that, I just do what I can and hope for the best; being self taught has its drawbacks as well as its benefits.
On this occasion however, I found that my efforts had paid off and the person I had done the work for was very happy with it, so...I closed up shop and went home with a contented smile on my face and a good feeling for having done something well.
There weren't any hitches in the get along for a change.... it was great!

...you just can't do it....

I was helping a friend with his new home when the unexpected began to happen.
I had promised to help get the water on so they could do some simple clean up after painting and have the ability to wash their hands as needed. The only problem with that was, every time we fixed one leak two more sprang up seemingly out of nowhere and "rained on our parade".
What was supposed to be about an hour of work turned into two full days crawling under the trailer time and time again to ferret out the broken pipes and make the repairs.
On the second day I was driving back to the trailer to try again to restore the place to working order when I began to talk to the Lord about it.
"You know Lord, I really don't have time to work on this place. I should be on my regular job but I gave my word so I'm going to stick it out and help get the water on. You're gonna have to help me out though. You know how badly we need our paycheck this week, especially after missing so many days last week helping Mom move. ...."
The prayer was short, as usual and I went on about my business.
After several hours of good, hard work on the trailer we still weren't within sight of our goal. It seemed like everything in the place had an issue of some sort and we would have to put in yet another full day of repairing leaks.
About mid morning my phone rang. I was expecting it to be my boss asking where I was and why wasn't I where I was supposed to be but to my surprise it was a wonderful Christian brother from Supulpa.
"Hello Brother John, how's it going?", he began.
"Oh, it's going", I replied with a little disgust in my voice.
"I have a friend that wants you to build him a website", he continued.
I stopped dead still in my tracks and listened as my friend described the project and then he added that he also wanted to do another music project within the next couple of weeks.
I was stunned.
Not only was I going to get to do the kind of work I love, I was going to get paid more than twice what I make on my regular 'day job'. I was going to get to work in my calling and get paid well to do it.
The thought came to me as I listened to my friend talk. The Lord had made up for what I had lost in wages and blessed me even further by allowing me to do what I love to do the most.
You can't out give God.... No sir, you just can't do it.

when I get there...

When I get there I'm gonna grab her up in my arms and give her a big squeeze.
I haven't seen my Mom in about 5 years now. We have been on the other side of the planet it seems and yet, only 700 miles away. The distance is nothing really because I feel close to her anywhere I am, even after all this time.
She'll be 85 next Sunday and I can't wait to see that little sparkle that I know is still there in her eyes.
She may be a Maverick but I love her anyway. Some may say that she wasn't a very good mother but I don't care about that. I had a good teacher in my Grandmother and that's what God wanted for me so I'm happy with that. I would have been much worse off had things been different, I know, but it is what it is and there's no changing it now. I have a heart for what is there and no regrets or inhibitions.
Boogie Grannie lives on and more power to her!

as the smoke rises

I answered the phone thinking that Dianna was about to tell me that dinner was ready or something else along that line, but it was much more serious.
The concern in her voice caught my full attention.
She began by telling me not to be in a rush to get home because she had been denied access to the park where we live. The deputy sheriff was turning people back at the intersection about a block from our home due to a grass fire just east of the park.
The smoke was billowing high into the air as the southerly breeze tugged on the brownish grey plume ranging menacingly close to everything we own. I swallowed hard as her words rang in my ears.
I had thought about the ones that had lost their homes to a huge fire the day before as I was on my way to the studio earlier, but the prospect of becoming a victim myself was even more sobering and stressing.
It's one thing to empathize with the ones that are hurting but it's quite another to be on the other end of the equation.
I reminded Dianna to pray as I hung up the phone wondering what was in store for us in the next few hours.
You just never know. It could be a car accident or a health issue or a grass fire. This world is very much on it's last legs. The signs are so evident and yet I still hear people say, "Show me a sign and I might believe..."
How can they be so blind? It is so plain and yet there are still so many with no beliefs, no convictions and little conscience.
There has to be a way to reach them, there just has to be.

... and then the weight lifted

[Written last year]


I had been dreading the moment that I would tell my boss that I was no longer going to be with the company. I felt as though I was slowly climbing up an incline with nothng to grab onto for help in getting to the top but I still felt the urge to keep on going no matter what.

I didn't know that it would be as easy as it was... in the end.

He looked sad and disappointed as I gave him all the reasons for leaving but I stood my ground and didn't give in to the temptation to stay on a little longer and see if it would work it's way out. I've done that before and the end is always a lot worse when I somehow 'stretch it out' and make an ordeal of things that should have been stopped at a certain point.

I left with the feeling of elation and my body felt lighter. I even had a spring in my step as I exited the building and walked the short distance to the Suburban and got in.

It was hot inside and I had almost put it into drive when I saw a friend and decided to leave the vehicle running, and cooling, and say hello.

Our discussion naturally went to the meeting I had just finished and as I listened to my friend's opinion I realized that I was no longer part of the overall picture anymore and I could just relax and enjoy a 'visit' with a friend and not feel guilty or worrying that I was supposed to be 'working'.

I'm still a bit 'disjointed' but that sensation is rapidly waning so I know that I will be back to the 'old John' very soon. I think I'll like that.

Now there was nothing wrong with the way things were before, per se, except that it wasn't for me. I'm glad I did what I did when I did it and I'll stand by that.

I just have to learn how to hear God better and then make the right moves instead of looking at everything that comes my way as the answer to what I need ...or want. I'm just too quick to jump. That lends itself to trust and trusting; two words so much alike and yet so different.

One can trust and not be trusting and one can be trusting and not trust.