I spent some quality time with the Lord today.
I took my wife's advice and went to the lake and it was great. There were few people there. An occasional passerby to wave to for the most part, but other than that it was just me and the Lord and one lone, brown dove lighting on the ground amongst the trees in search of food. I do believe the dove was a sign. To me it represented the Holy Spirit on hand to minister to me.
I didn't want to leave when I did but I knew I needed to get back, so I reluctantly turned the van toward home and left the waters to gently roll ashore on their own.
Isn't it funny how easily we get distracted from what's really important? I haven't taken the time to just 'wait before the Lord' in quite some time. How sad.
However, I have made up my mind to do this on a more regular basis from now on. I need it and I know it will be good for me. I need to spend time with the Lord to find out what I'm to do next. I know that his plan is much better than any of mine. I pray to know soon but I also know I have to be patient and wait for him to pass along whatever it is he needs me to hear and understand, no matter what the topic.
Dianna has been such an inspiration. She goes almost every day now and always returns refreshed and ready to continue the battle. I love her so.
I know I'm in for a time of adjustment but that's alright by me. I need to get out of my comfort zone again and see what the Lord has in store for me. I think it's time to get much closer to him now and hear what he has to say a little more directly. Pastor's sermons are tremendous but there's jut no comparison when it's one on one with God. How could it be?
Isn't that the way it was originally designed to be? I think so.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
... in the meantime
I quit my job at the park yesterday.
The odds that I would soon be unemployed were greater by the day anyway it seems. At any rate, I had been getting more and more dissatisfied with the way things were going over the past months and then before I realized it, it was over. The unrelenting pressure to say something about the situation was mounting and I half expected a harsh ending to it all at some point. Thankfully, it ended rather quietly with both parties not having to raise our voices.
I ended it by saying, "You need to get yourself another maintenance man....", and that was it. He walked out without another word.
He did make a rather odd statement before I said what I did. He said, "If that's the hill you want to die on ... it's up to you...." What does that mean exactly? It must come from some obscure story of some sort that he recalls from his past. I have never heard those words in that context before.
Okay, so, where now? Where does a person like me go to get work ...and then again what kind of work?
Di says that I should just stop everything and just go before the Lord and ask him what to do next. That's probably the best advice anyone could pass along to another person in a situation such as this, wouldn't you agree?
I do and that's just what I intend.
I do have a lot of other work I can be doing, but it doesn't exactly pay anything for the completion. It just needs doing.
I feel a kind of relief. The pressure to please a person that can't be pleased is like a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I can actually breathe better.
I do wonder if there will be any unforeseen repercussions. Will he be vindictive toward Dianna as she continues to manage the park? Will he just fire her and send us packing so to speak. That's what we would have to do ...pack.
As for me, I will leave all that up to the Lord and how he sees fit to arrange the circumstances from here on out. I always feel better and do better when I remember that God is in control.
Anyway, I just wanted all to know that I am among the ranks of the unemployed for a time. Let me know if you need anything done ...in the meantime.
The odds that I would soon be unemployed were greater by the day anyway it seems. At any rate, I had been getting more and more dissatisfied with the way things were going over the past months and then before I realized it, it was over. The unrelenting pressure to say something about the situation was mounting and I half expected a harsh ending to it all at some point. Thankfully, it ended rather quietly with both parties not having to raise our voices.
I ended it by saying, "You need to get yourself another maintenance man....", and that was it. He walked out without another word.
He did make a rather odd statement before I said what I did. He said, "If that's the hill you want to die on ... it's up to you...." What does that mean exactly? It must come from some obscure story of some sort that he recalls from his past. I have never heard those words in that context before.
Okay, so, where now? Where does a person like me go to get work ...and then again what kind of work?
Di says that I should just stop everything and just go before the Lord and ask him what to do next. That's probably the best advice anyone could pass along to another person in a situation such as this, wouldn't you agree?
I do and that's just what I intend.
I do have a lot of other work I can be doing, but it doesn't exactly pay anything for the completion. It just needs doing.
I feel a kind of relief. The pressure to please a person that can't be pleased is like a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I can actually breathe better.
I do wonder if there will be any unforeseen repercussions. Will he be vindictive toward Dianna as she continues to manage the park? Will he just fire her and send us packing so to speak. That's what we would have to do ...pack.
As for me, I will leave all that up to the Lord and how he sees fit to arrange the circumstances from here on out. I always feel better and do better when I remember that God is in control.
Anyway, I just wanted all to know that I am among the ranks of the unemployed for a time. Let me know if you need anything done ...in the meantime.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
... it might get worse
Sweating and tired, covered in mud, I crawled out from under the trailer at 5 PM. We gone under it several times since about 2:30 or so setting up for the duct exchange. My arms were so tired I could hardly lift them to get a drink of water from my jug. I had been trying to change out a "crossover duct" and just as we got into position to make the change we discovered that we had the wrong size duct. The one we were trying to put on was two inches too small. Someone had measured it wrong. Three hoours of hard, dirty work all for naught.
There are certain things I like to do but being under a trailer isn't one of them. I think I suffer from a slight case of claustrophobia anyway and being in such close quarters makes me stress out more than usual. I don't like heights either, as Di will gladly tell you; as much as I don't like close quarters.
The ideal scenario would feature my having a helper that can do those things for me while I supervise.
But isn't that the way of it nowadays? Don't we all wish we could just do what we want to do and have someone else do what we don't want to do? That would be paradise; having a 'second' to do the unwanted tasks while we sit back and watch the progress from our easy chairs.
Somehow I don't think I'm in line for that particular position just yet. The hard jobs keep falling to me to accomplish and so I keep crawling under those trailers or onto those tin roofs that want to buckle just as you are taking a step in uncertain territory. I suppose I had better get used to the idea that not everyone gets what they want just when they want it. Our world hasn't become any easier overnight and I really don't expect it to any time soon.
In fact, I rather think ...that it might just get worse.
There are certain things I like to do but being under a trailer isn't one of them. I think I suffer from a slight case of claustrophobia anyway and being in such close quarters makes me stress out more than usual. I don't like heights either, as Di will gladly tell you; as much as I don't like close quarters.
The ideal scenario would feature my having a helper that can do those things for me while I supervise.
But isn't that the way of it nowadays? Don't we all wish we could just do what we want to do and have someone else do what we don't want to do? That would be paradise; having a 'second' to do the unwanted tasks while we sit back and watch the progress from our easy chairs.
Somehow I don't think I'm in line for that particular position just yet. The hard jobs keep falling to me to accomplish and so I keep crawling under those trailers or onto those tin roofs that want to buckle just as you are taking a step in uncertain territory. I suppose I had better get used to the idea that not everyone gets what they want just when they want it. Our world hasn't become any easier overnight and I really don't expect it to any time soon.
In fact, I rather think ...that it might just get worse.
Friday, July 26, 2013
"...a roll of toilet paper."
I had anticipated being in the studio by 9:30 or 10 this morning. As I was having my morning coffee I was informed that we, Di & I, had an appointment for a meeting between 9 and noon. That meant that I would have to stick close to the house until the meeting.
Who wants to wait around for 4 hours anticipating someone else's timetable? Certainly not me.
Granted this person was getting ready for a long trip out of town and had a lot to do to complete preparations, but who sets a meeting time with a 4 hour window in this day and time? No one.
Normally, a person wanting to get things done sets things in motion with some sort of plan in mind. And ordinarily that person also takes into consideration the time each part of that plan may take; allowing for the interested parties having adequate time to be in place as needed. Did I say 'consideration'? That's it, consideration.
That's what bothers me. There was no consideration for our time. It's as though we aren't important enough to have a schedule of our own, we're just supposed to 'be there' as needed, like a roll of paper towels or better yet, ...a roll of toilet paper.
Who wants to wait around for 4 hours anticipating someone else's timetable? Certainly not me.
Granted this person was getting ready for a long trip out of town and had a lot to do to complete preparations, but who sets a meeting time with a 4 hour window in this day and time? No one.
Normally, a person wanting to get things done sets things in motion with some sort of plan in mind. And ordinarily that person also takes into consideration the time each part of that plan may take; allowing for the interested parties having adequate time to be in place as needed. Did I say 'consideration'? That's it, consideration.
That's what bothers me. There was no consideration for our time. It's as though we aren't important enough to have a schedule of our own, we're just supposed to 'be there' as needed, like a roll of paper towels or better yet, ...a roll of toilet paper.
Friday, July 19, 2013
... but then, who's counting
I spent a couple of hours tonight cleaning up the studio. I had done a lot of painting and rearranging but I hadn't put things away that had been 'sitting around' for months. I was feeling 'surrounded' and disorganized every time I opened the door to 'go to work'.
It makes a lot of difference to the psyche when things are in order and comfortable. The creative juices can flow much more easily and obviously more can be achieved in an organized, creatively designed atmosphere.
Di found some really nice pictures that added to the design; each having music content phrases and instruments done in a modern color motif. I did my best to put them where they 'encouraged' the observer.
Tomorrow I begin a brand new project that promises to reach a lot of people. It is a study on the Book of Revelation by a man named Jesse Garcia. I am looking forward to his 'take' on what is there. I have been a curious bystander for years in regard to the many debates over what is written and the meanings. I have heard many interpretations but they are more often confusing and contradictory than complete and informing. I hope to learn from this in a way that both clarifies and settles all the various 'opinions'. Stay tuned for updates on this one.
As I left the studio I was reflecting on how long I had been there. It's going on 5 years now. So much has been done that it would be hard to relate it all, but it would be good to make a record of it just to show how much God can do with small, unknown servants that love to do what we do... but then, who's counting?
It makes a lot of difference to the psyche when things are in order and comfortable. The creative juices can flow much more easily and obviously more can be achieved in an organized, creatively designed atmosphere.
Di found some really nice pictures that added to the design; each having music content phrases and instruments done in a modern color motif. I did my best to put them where they 'encouraged' the observer.
Tomorrow I begin a brand new project that promises to reach a lot of people. It is a study on the Book of Revelation by a man named Jesse Garcia. I am looking forward to his 'take' on what is there. I have been a curious bystander for years in regard to the many debates over what is written and the meanings. I have heard many interpretations but they are more often confusing and contradictory than complete and informing. I hope to learn from this in a way that both clarifies and settles all the various 'opinions'. Stay tuned for updates on this one.
As I left the studio I was reflecting on how long I had been there. It's going on 5 years now. So much has been done that it would be hard to relate it all, but it would be good to make a record of it just to show how much God can do with small, unknown servants that love to do what we do... but then, who's counting?
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
... when it wonders
I just finished a DVD for a friend. Her sister passed away about two weeks ago and I was asked to video the service.
I was doing my usual concentration thing while the eulogies were being presented trying to be as unobtrusive as possible when one statement the Pastor gave made me stop in my tracks.He said, "Sharon was born in May of 1949..." That's the year I was born and almost the month. I was born in April.
I had never thought much about it before but I realize now there are a lot of people dying in their 60's lately.
What day will I die? How will I die? Will there be anyone there to see me go or will I be alone and have to wait to be discovered? Will there be a lot of people at my funeral? There were certainly a lot of people at Sharon's funeral. The whole church filled up and on a weekday at that. It's hard enough to get people to come to church on Sunday much less on a Thursday. She was greatly loved and will be sorely missed.What better testimony to a life well lived than a church full of loving family and friends to see you off?
The odds are that I will live awhile longer I know. I'm not that anxious to go, even though I know there is a far better place awaiting.
Funny how the mind wonders ...when it wonders.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
... it has to shine
I arrived at the studio a little after 5. A friend was to meet me there to do a short video that would be added to a project congratulating someone celebrating 35 years in ministry. After finishing the shoot I did a quick edit and put the finished clip into Dropbox where it could be uploaded later.
That left me a few minutes before our regular Tuesday recording session. I spent the time answering emails.
Phil arrived right on time and we began sorting out what he wanted to accomplish for the evening. I hadn't anticipated anything special, I was just glad to get some 'studio time' after so much work at the park. I was beginning to think that I would never get back to the music. The enormous amount of individual things needing done has been and is growing almost daily. I find it harder and harder to 'let go' of the duties and then get into the music like I used to do so easily before. What is that all about?
Once into the session I found that I could relax a bit and let the creative side open up but I still have a long way to go to get back to the free flowing feeling I was used to experiencing before.
What 'releases' us to create? What switch gets thrown that allows the juices to flow? Is there some sort of mind control or better yet, 'spirit control' that has to happen that either opens up or shuts down the creative? I wonder.
As the evening came to a close and we began shutting everything down I took inventory. What had we actually accomplished? Had we done something that would be considered 'a keeper'? No.
We had made progress but we haven't gotten to the place of 'acceptable' or better yet, superior; which is what we are reaching for.
As I said before, I want this to be the very best project I have ever done. It's time has come. I have recorded thousands of hours of sound and I believe that it's time to bring forth the very best. For people to experience what we do when the song is being born and arranged we have to take the time to 'build it' in a fashion that presents the material in the best light ... it has to shine.
That left me a few minutes before our regular Tuesday recording session. I spent the time answering emails.
Phil arrived right on time and we began sorting out what he wanted to accomplish for the evening. I hadn't anticipated anything special, I was just glad to get some 'studio time' after so much work at the park. I was beginning to think that I would never get back to the music. The enormous amount of individual things needing done has been and is growing almost daily. I find it harder and harder to 'let go' of the duties and then get into the music like I used to do so easily before. What is that all about?
Once into the session I found that I could relax a bit and let the creative side open up but I still have a long way to go to get back to the free flowing feeling I was used to experiencing before.
What 'releases' us to create? What switch gets thrown that allows the juices to flow? Is there some sort of mind control or better yet, 'spirit control' that has to happen that either opens up or shuts down the creative? I wonder.
As the evening came to a close and we began shutting everything down I took inventory. What had we actually accomplished? Had we done something that would be considered 'a keeper'? No.
We had made progress but we haven't gotten to the place of 'acceptable' or better yet, superior; which is what we are reaching for.
As I said before, I want this to be the very best project I have ever done. It's time has come. I have recorded thousands of hours of sound and I believe that it's time to bring forth the very best. For people to experience what we do when the song is being born and arranged we have to take the time to 'build it' in a fashion that presents the material in the best light ... it has to shine.
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