...and playing and worshiping and playing….

I feel more like playing than I have in a while. I've been blessed with the choices of several guitars to play as well. That's always a plus.
I don't know exactly what it is but I think it has something to do with my walk with the Lord. He's been getting me up early, early in the mornings, taking me to the Gospels. I've been reading about the crucifixion, and all the circumstances around that momentous event. I wonder if we really know the whole story. I'm not doubting the Bible, mind you; it's just that there are so many opinions. I do agree that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and therefore infallible. It's man's take on the events that I question.
So many times our motives are colored by our objectives and circumstances and feelings. I can't tell you how many times I've been influenced by my anger or my sadness or yes, even my joy.
Somewhere, it is said that was unrecognizable after his beating. I've seen that before. I've seen people beat to a pulp. They were unrecognizable, but we all knew who they were.
I've experienced pain, many forms of pain, but I simply can't imagine what Jesus went through for us. And he did it, in spite of the fact so many of us still do not accept him, still do not believe.

It's time again for the Easter play at our church. The Music Director is picking out the music, writing, the play, seeing after all the costumes and doing her usual million jobs. I marvel at her endurance, knowing that its spirit driven mingled with love for one and all. I will get a break this year, having only to play and sing. What a blessing. I do like being in the play, but I won't miss it this year. I rather like the idea of just playing and worshiping and playing and worshiping and playing….

...for as long as we have left

I am more and more convinced that we do too many things.
I start out everyday with a list as long as your leg....( Mr. Jolly Green Giant).... and by 3 o'clock in the  afternoon I'm only part way down the first column. It's outrageous. Why do we pile things on like we do? There are a lot of fun things we can be doing but they always ends up on the end of the list and we never seem to get to them. If we do we're to tired to enjoy them.

I have so many 'kewl' friends. They encourage me and pray for me and I always seem to notice that they are really looking out for me in so many ways.  The blessings are all around me and yet I seldom take the time to 'smell the roses'....
I'm going to change. I've made up my little mind and yes, I'm going to change.
There aren't enough hours in the day as it is and so why am I spending them on things that won't be there when I'm gone? It just doesn't make any sense to me. I should be looking at the things that are going to last and pursuing them instead of the temporal, right? That's what the Word says. Look to the future and plan for what comes next.

My father in law may not make it through the night. He's up and down and more down than up. I look at his life and the over 91 years he has been around and what does he have to show for it? Not much.
He's a great guy, don't get me wrong. He's worked hard all of his life but right now he's lying on a hospital bed not knowing where he is or what's going on around him. I haven't seen him happy for the past 10 or more years now and let's face it, he's not long for this world.
What will he take with him into the next life? Nothing.
That, as we know is an impossibility. We brought nothing into this world and we certainly don't get to take anything with us when we go.
I went to a funeral Monday. There was a small group of people there to 'see him off'. I can't tell you how many funerals I have been to but they all have the same 'feel', the same atmosphere, the same sadness. The person isn't really there. It's just a body. The spirit has left. I don't see the point other than it gives the family a chance to be together; something we should already be taking care of each week.

So why take all this time to work, work, work.... unless .... it's going to last.

I have to do things that matter from here on out. I'm not far off from being in the same boat a Dad. I hope and pray that I won't suffer as he is suffering right now. He's got to be miserable. I do not want to be the kind of burden to people that causes them to feel the way I feel right now about how he's feeling. It's just not right.
And so, I leave you all with this. Let's look after each other the best we can. Let's love each other with a love that overlooks all the faults and negatives and let's do the things that really matter ...for as long as we have left.

… A lot of fun in the making

What is it about starting something new?I suppose it's like the thrill involved in not knowing what's in the package as you tear open the paper to see what's inside like a child at Christmas.

I met with Jerry over lunch, and we laid out the basic plan for the radio station sitting there at the truck stop. As I left, I thought "how appropriate" meeting there. There was a hint of diesel exhaust in the air as I got into the suburban to leave; truck stop perfume, if you will.
I thought about how much work this is going to be and it made me yawn. I ended up working on the business plan until about 1:30 in the morning, falling asleep in my chair.

Jerry seems to have done his homework on how to put the radio station together, but like anything else, there's always more to the story. I keep finding more and more details to go over, but there again, that's par for the course.
I spent the better part of the day working on the printed materials we will need to get started. Business cards and brochures will be the first line of attack after getting a website online.

I have a radio personality in mind that I'm hoping to use on a regular basis. It's a voice I've used on projects in the past for comedy relief. I'm hoping his personality comes off well enough on the air that it gains listeners because of his verbal antics. I've been looking at some Will Rogers quotations for material and they fit perfectly with the new character's attitude about life in general.

There are other things going on as well, but the radio station will have to take center stage for now; hopefully creating a good source of income.
I also have a film project that I'm working on that I have high hopes for. It's a documentary about a close friend. We've known each other for several years and I've grown to love him like a brother. We will travel to Texas in May for some of the final footage  and began assembling finished product shortly after that.
I'm really enjoying my time in the studio now. I take my time and plan and then execute the plan. No more rushing to "get done". I look back at my work with satisfaction knowing what it cost me and knowing what it's worth. It's no longer about how fast it can be done, or how efficiently, it's more about how I can incorporate quality into the effort and see a better result.
I've begun putting together a DVD presentation about One Lord Productions. Pastor had mentioned awhile back that it would be a good idea for everyone to see just how much we do up in the studio.you and you and really regard for Ryan and your you other drive you are low on radio he is in a you is a regular server will have 7 have long as 10 you will a you anywhere in a you is a break in the room you a ride you know that you and he where you are going to do long you that you will again) 1 TB drive to hear my operating system you a you will you is wrong with I made out a list of all the ministries that I've been working with since 1992. The list is up to 68 point which surprises me somewhat. I knew that I had been working with over 30 ministries one time, but I didn't realize just how many there were. I haven't quite figured out how I'll put it all together but it looks like a lot of fun in the making.

...in all the palaver

If you know something... it's part of you, part of the 'library' in your mind where you keep all the 'stuff'.

I began working on a project for a person that has a real gift, it's just not very well developed ...yet. They've been doing this 'gift' for some time now and evidently others have told them how 'glorious' their work is. But it's not. Any unbiased observer would immediately see 'the holes' in the gift and probably opt out on buying product for that very reason.
I really wanted to help them, so I did what I thought was best for the project and sent the first part back, for them to see what it would be like when completed.
By the response I got you would have thought that I shot their granny in the butt with a bb gun.

I won't be "helping out" for awhile.
I have come to the conclusion that it's better if I don't get too involved with a person's "baby". The riggers of reshaping another person's work is hard enough, given the fact that you have to keep the original idea intact. And having the honesty to 'critique' a work takes a strong stomach and even stronger nerves.
Like most, I have a hard time receiving criticism, whether good or bad. I like to get good reviews but I sometimes wonder if they are truly sincere or just being kind and then the second guessing begins. Insecurity takes over and I resent having to deal with it at all in the end.
It's much better if I don't know the person. That way I can more easily accept the news for whatever reason and go about my business non the less for wear. But if it's a friend, I worry over the words and play them back and forth in my mind over and over until I come to a conclusion one way or the other.
"Well, they probably meant it but...." I 'justify' and 'clarify' and 'signify'.... oh my, am I becoming obtuse?
I did have a point when I started out here, you know.
It just seemed to get lost ...in all the palaver....

....the reason for my efforts.

I've had my head in a book for almost a solid week. It's becoming a very personal work that I am closely editing. The author is an amazing lady from Hamilton, New Zealand named Toria.
She has Cerebral Palsy and she has written about a young woman that also has Cerebral Palsy. I think that people will be very impressed with it if I do my job well enough. Toria's insight into the life of the disabled is truly enlightening. Her writing gives us a unique view into her world, seeing it from inside the feelings, aspirations, frustrations and dreams of someone that has ample time to observe life in it's rarest form. One seldom gets the opportunity to "see" from the other side like this and that's the reason for my efforts.

......for another time

I found myself praying in the spirit on my way into town today. It seems as though each time I get into the Suburban lately, I am prompted to pray. There are so many things that need attention. For whatever reason I just have one or two things on my heart at one time. That's good because I have a hard time keeping up with too many things, so it's good to stay on target with one or two things and then move on to the others.
I seem to be more and more comfortable with my surroundings; specifically the financial realm. I have always had a hard time "not" worrying over money. I guess its because we have  had so little money these past few years that it 's as though I have to struggle to make ends meet. I really appreciate Dianna in this area of our lives. She has always paid the bills and does a superb job of it. I can't recall the last time we were late paying a particular bill. Somehow she always has a "stash" and the bill gets taken care of as needed.
That leaves me free to think about the  tasks at hand; the books, the music projects and so forth.
I am about to begin the book from New Zealand. I am really looking forward to it. I pray that it is sound and well thought out. If I can bring out the "life" of the words it should do well. That's been the central thought in my mind these past two weeks as I downloaded the chapters from the client's emails. She sounds so sweet. I was drawn to her in our initial contact. She just seemed like the kind of person I like to help the most. She has Spastic Cerebral Palsy and is confined to a wheelchair but that doesn't hold her back for a second. I like her 'spunk' and energy.
I'll post more on this as time goes by I'm sure.
For now I better get back to the battle and save some of this for another time.

...peace comes in the morning.

It's amazing how God moves things around in people's lives. I have been watching of late and it's really amazing to see how God does things. I try to figure out what is going to happen but almost without fail, things turn out differently than I expect.
For instance, I tried to buy a video card but it didn't go the way I thought it would. The purchase was made online but the company failed to say in the ad that it was a "store only item", meaning that it had to be picked up at the store to get that price. The store in question is in Georgia.
After cancelling the order it took three days to get the money back into my account so I could buy from another source.... for about $100 more. That certainly didn't turn out in my favor, but that's life. There are going to be those times that things don't go our way. But is is interesting to see how it unfolded and how it turned out from an observer's perspective.
In the meantime I learned that a pastor I have been working with bought the wrong version of a software program from a company. Their policy is that once you buy a downloadable product there is no refund or exchange even though we couldn't use it. The choices were vague on the screen and you had to be watching very closely to see the options for each of the 4 listed versions.
I wonder how this will turn out in the end. I am mentioning it now so I can follow how things go in the blog, updating everyone as it transpires instead of after the fact. as a sort of "bird's eye view".
How often do we run into occurrences that don't go the way we think? For me it's pretty often.
I am learning to "roll with the punches" so to speak on these issues but it's not comfortable.
Di's Dad has a house in Joplin. We thought that it was going to sell at one point and get him out from under a financial burden. We made a special trip to fix things from a list prepared by the real estate agent and came home expecting the house to close the following week. Not so. The buyer sent another list with about 15 or more additional things to be done. It was very discouraging. Again, things turned out differently than we expected.
Why is it that some people have smooth sailing while others have choppy seas to navigate? God only knows the answer on that one, but I do know that he rewards those that diligently seek him. That's my intention. I'm going to be looking for his hand in things and turn in his direction where safety and peace abide in abundance. It won't always be choppy seas.... as they say... "peace comes in the morning"