...aren't we pretty close?

Time just seems to flow out of the hourglass like water. I look up and a month or more has gone by since I last posted anything here. How sad. Have I lost all sense of time? No. I just don't look at time the same way I did in the past. It's as though it doesn't exist anymore. Bare with me for a moment, please.There are just too many restrictions involved. It takes everything and twists it into a shape we're not familiar with and then it expects us to accept the obvious change without question. How quaint. Those of us that hate change really take a beating.... Time, the bully if you will.

I looked at my progress and saw lethargy. I have slowed to a crawl in too many areas. My completion rate is almost nill in comparison to three or even two years ago. I can't blame it it on age even though I would like to. It's inside. It's sitting there like a huge rock on front of the door of "doing something", keeping me from leaving the room called "idle".... and everyone knows I don't idle well... at least everyone that knows me...
The atmosphere has changed. The surroundings, the constants, the 'air pressure', everything. I can't recall any worse time. I dread watching the news and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to the light. It keeps swirling like a small tornado off in the distance from country to country without resolution; much like a bad chord in a song played at the end. You can't quite put your finger on what's causing all of these things and yet you know, down deep, exactly what it is ...and then the system shuts down and opens up the 'denial syndrome' like a new window on a computer screen. ....
"Oh, it's not as bad as all that.... is it? Yes, it is.

Thank God for grace. We have our redemption. The price has been paid, we just have to do our part and the puzzle will come together and the end will come. I will be so glad when it does.
I see far too much hurting and anger and pain and destruction around me. The only solace is the Lord.

I find comfort in him and in Dianna's arms. She has a comforting spirit that gives me peace and negates all the tensions that build up each day when I'm away from her. What a lightening rod. She can dispell all evil in one look; one touch. I keep reaching over to touch her as we sit together each night. It's as though I have a "Dianna deficientcy" and her touch restores the loss. I regain sanity when she hands me that bowl of ice cream and I can settle back in my chair like a big panda with a fresh bamboo shoot.

How much longer Lord? I don't want to see anybody miss out on heaven, but aren't we pretty close?

...those of us that seek....

Are we so caught up in our own worlds that we don't see what is going on right under our own noses?
The times are so evident, so plain, that I marvel at the ignorance of the masses.
"We like sheep have gone astray...."

I sat dumbfounded listening to the president's speech. His characterizaions were so skewed I wondered how he kept a straight face for so long. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was a carney selling me a bill of goods in a sideshow. The spinning retheric wound around and around mesmerizing some and sickening others.
We are so 'in trouble'. How can people continue to ignore his record; his blatant actions that are tearing at the basic fabric of our nation, like the wolf he is? If you look closely, you will see the holes in his stories so plainly that it boggles the mind to see the reactions of our 'leaders' as they glibely comment on the rise in his approval ratings as if it were a good thing. I certainly do not approve. I am greatly saddened by the general public's view of this charletain. How can they be so obtuse?

History will one day write the story and many will be incredulous to see what he has destroyed by his under handed tactics and deceptions. I say again; we are so 'in trouble'.
I thank God for his mercy and his longsuffering. We will have a lot to answer for in the fnal judgement but it seems that God is stil giving us time to 'turn about' and recover. Israel has been in this positin over and over again and God always came to their aid when they repented.
The things we did not do; cheifly, stopping this man when we could, will come back to haunt us for decades; if we last that long. We have most assuredly shortened our days by our actions or rather by our inactions. Either way we cannot stand much more of this type of leadership and example. Our enemies see it as plainly as we do but even more so. They see ways to subvert and circomvent the truth so that their agendas are supported and implemented instead of the right ways of doing things. There are no rules for them. They win at any cost and sadly, the cost is always paid for by those of us that seek right and truth and peace.

...only he can

How many times have you found yourself frustrated with the work you are doing? I realized that I was getting more and more uptight about a job I had been doing for a man that lives near us. He had asked me a few months ago to replace the floor below his shower. It had fallen through and needed replacing along with the walls and floor pan. I finally agreed to begin on what I thought would be a short weeks work. As of today I have been on this job almost three weeks. Anything that could go wrong has. Everything is taking 4 times the amount of time I originally thought it would take and the cost has more than doubled. He has been very nice about it all, but I believe he too is getting frustrated and that, of course creates stress for the both of us. No one likes stress.
I have a few things left to do, weather allowing, and I'll finally be done. How does one deal with circumstances like these? I thank God that I have a place to go to get my peace back in times like this. I can get off to myself and just 'veg' with the Lord and let him calm my spirit. Nothing soothes more than that. The stillness and the surety that he is there, applying the salve of comfort and well being only he can.

...for many of us

The wind was singing all night. I woke up several times, promptly going right back to sleep until about 5:30 or so. It was harder to get back to sleep after that for some reason but I made a valiant attempt.

The alarm sounded at 8 and I dragged myself to an upright position and onto the floor, dreading every second. 

This was the first 'cold' morning of the season. People should be able to enjoy the warm covers and the view from inside the eyelids and not have to 'do the daily'...unless they want to. That of course is the lazy me talking. I had a doctor's appointment and staying in bed was a much better option even if I didn't get to take advantage of it.

I know, some of you are thinking 'those thoughts' right now and wondering if I'm getting soft but don't go mistakin' my 'want to's' with my 'have to's'. I got up. I made it to the appointment.... on time. So there, I've said it and I'm not takin' it back. There has got to be one of these mornings in your past as well, admit it, you are tempted to hit the snooze button now and then yourself.... yeah, I knew it... I can see it it in your eyes....(metaphorically speaking) Yawn.

Isn't it funny how we treat ourselves sometimes? I mean, there are times when I have all the energy in the world and can go and go and I get things done left and right. And then there are 'those' times when I can't even get enough energy up to think about what's next. I lean back in my chair and cross my legs and stretch my arms out and cross them over my chest and just sigh out loud, disgusted at my attitude.

I always have to be 'doing', planning, measuring, gauging..."finishing", or I don't think I've accomplished anything.

And then I'm reminded of the times Jesus took the disciples aside "for a rest". They weren't always 'doing'. They 'rested' sometimes.

They didn't 'hang out', they rested. They restored the energies they had expended and regained their strength, making ready for the next battle, the next encounter, the next miracle.

I say, "don't be afraid to rest". The days ahead may be long and arduous for many of us.

....we the people

We The People.

                                                                                              

What does it mean when we say “We, the people”?

Does it mean that, as “the people”, we have certain rights to say and do certain things as free human beings in a free society? Or have we perhaps traveled so far away from that austere and humble beginning that we now overlook some of “the people” that should have these rights?

Have we committed ourselves wholly to this premise, planning carefully to include all citizens in these rights and privileges? The same rights and privileges that we so proudly flaunt on the global stage as being available to all?

Let’s take a moment and look at some of our citizens and their conditions to see if we really are who we say we are. This venture into reality may paint a somewhat different picture.

After every war there has been a time of rebuilding, reshaping and rehabilitation; a time of rest, if you will. People on either side of the conflict have had definite advantages or disadvantages, and close observation easily tells us where compassion truly lies.

On the one hand, we pour our time and hard earned resources into projects that seemingly make great strides toward healing, all the while leaving holes in the tapestry of the moment, only to see far too many seeping through the cracks, falling on hard times.

Often times our best efforts are jaded by the greed of the very facilitators we have entrusted to carry out those intricately designed and well-funded plans. We fall short of the mark leaving disappointed lives scattered about the landscape like so many forgotten leaves in autumn. Is it any wonder that we look back in disgust at those uncompleted dreams and complain to the snoring that sit by doing nothing because apathy has overtaken pride, lulling them to sleep.

We, the people, have changed. When leadership polls for answers and hides among the laws we are without leaders. When truth is a variable the only constant is change. We need stability not more change. 

Our borders are fluid and without definition. We no longer contain as a sovereign nation the stable ingredients of right over wrong and good over evil. Our moral compass has lost its magnetic north and now swings about wildly without true direction. Minorities rule majorities with vague innuendo and dictate policy, overstepping their place and overruling true order.

The inevitable reckoning will be swift and without warning, because warning has not worked. It has only served to become fodder for the canons of the unscrupulous that spin their webs of deceit in the hearts of the innocent and unsuspecting. The toll will be entire, save for the remnant and that only by the fulfilling of the Word.

And so, we, the people are in trouble. We are like the unruly child that will not see the truth that is so evidently displayed before us. We choose the candy of sin and deprivation over the healing bread of righteousness and truth.

wasssz-up? .... at least it's not my fault....

I received a phone call this morning informing me that all of my websites are down.
This has only happened one other time, so I am interested to find out the cause.
More often than not, in the past, I would be standing on my head to know "the reason" and not liking the wait involved in getting in touch with tech support. At this point it's down from 28 minutes to 10.... and counting.
However, this time I have a comfortable calmness about me and seem more or less at peace with the process. I must be gaining some ground in the patience department. Kewl.
So now I am wondering what I will be like once I know the reason for the lapse in service. Is it my fault or someone else's? We'll see.
The past few weeks I have been "under the weather". My doctor tells me I have developed two 50% blockages in my heart. That makes 4 altogether if you count the two that nearly killed me 15 years ago.
I had been in for  a checkup about 4 or 5 years ago and the Doc told me that the good side of my heart had grown blood vessels over to the bad side and restored the blood flow. Although its unusual its not unheard of and yet I consider it a miracle considering all that's transpired in the past.
God really knows how to do things. He makes a 'machine' that can fix itself. Pretty clever indeed.
I can't imagine why people don't believe in him more than they do. My life alone should convince even the hardiest of agnostics that God is real and alive and working every day to make our lives better and more complete.
Report:
The servers are down, according to the Host company. At least it's not my fault this time

...breathe in... breathe out....

The news is bad. I just found out that the man I was helping, not the bad guy, the good guy, has been abandoned in a small town about 50 miles away. The bad guy took all of his money and belongings and fled in the night.
I am just out of the hospital and this has only added to my woes. It really takes a toll on your 'spirit' when things like this happen. I have no way of getting to my friend to bring him home and I really don't know if he has a place to come to in the event that I have transportation for him. This is all so disheartening. I had such high hopes that this program would bring light to the situation of the veterans but it has only served to be a fiasco for all involved.
I haven't always been an angel, to say the least, but I have always tried to help when I could. I suppose my grandmother did a good job in that department. The thought of seeing someone in a wheelchair taken advantage of is not setting well with me at this point. I have to keep a tight grip on my emotions just now. My condition calls for peace and quiet, but it's not forthcoming. I have an upheaval inside that calls for retribution, knowing that's not the answer.
I know I'll get past this stage but I am not liking what I feel inside right now. The 'old John' wants to surface and make amends for my friend and yet, there in the depths, is that little voice whispering, "forgive". That helps. I can look to that and reach for peace and tranquility and overcome this slowly rising tide of bitterness that's trying to override the good.
"breathe in.... breathe out...."