...even if I don't 'get even'

I wanted to lash out in anger today but I held back. That's progress, right?
I was dissed in a round about way and ridiculed about my work. It hurt and I became angry; an old defense mechanism that kicks in.

How do we handle criticism? Are we to be silent or speak out? Are we to 'get even' or 'let it go'? Are we not human and vulnerable when attacked by our fellow humans, whose words often hurt more than blows? I wonder. The Bible tells us to 'be still' and let God fight our battles. I have a hard time with that one, as do most. We want to return evil for evil and retort in a way that makes us 'more than even'.
I am often saddened by my thoughts. I have such a vivid imagination anyway, it's not too much of a stretch to envision some drastic measures being carried out to 'get even'. I'll leave it at that and not explain further, but I suspect there are those of us out there that know some of the things I may be thinking.
What does 'getting even' really mean? Does that mean we do the same thing to an adversary or worse? Does that get us 'even' with them or do we always have to surpass their level of 'blow' to make an even heavier blow and overcome the enemy? Is that what people call "getting even"? I wonder.

At times like this I fret, I steam and fume inside and wish I didn't have to go through all of this, but here I am. Why doesn't everything just line up in a perfect row and let me go through my day with great joy and anticipation of what is coming next? Ideally, I would be king and all of my subjects would bow and scrape and make my life the pinnacle of success. Everyone would adore my music and my writings and I wouldn't be able to keep up with the demand.
Oh brother! What a disaster that would be. I am so far from perfection it isn't funny; not even humorous.
I better stick to repenting and going on my merry way and leave it at that. This whole forgiveness thing and not losing my joy is tough, I know, but I see the value in it; the reasoning, the end results. That's what makes it all worth trying even if I don't 'get even'.