...he did what?

The first sign of trouble was the smell of smoke coming from the basement.

I arrived at the office a bit later than I normally do on Monday to find the place buzzing with overly excited workers. The news had been all about the fire at one of the recovery houses. A former resident had gone off the deep end and returned to his former residence and began an assault on the house.

First he threw bricks through the windows narrowly missing a blind man sitting in a chair in the living room. He next barricaded the door and went to the basement where he started a fire from some trash he had retrieved from the trash can outside.

It was a harrowing experience for the men trapped inside for that few moments but all turned out well including the capture and arrest of the deranged man.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here. I don't seem to make much of a difference overall but then I get an opportunity to do something no one else can do and I am reaffirmed and greatly encouraged. I realize we all have our place. We all have our calling and we all need to be aware that it's up to God what happens and not us.

What has that got to do with a fire when I wasn't there to help or warn the men or help put out the fire? Nothing really. It just goes to show me that I am not the focus of what is happening here; God is. He decides what happens and how it happens and I don't have to be involved in everything that goes on around here. I just get to be a part of what happens and that's all that's matters in the end.

At least it's not boring.

...I am resolved to ....

Have you made your resolutions yet?

I made out a list of things that I would like to accomplish this year and titled it, "What I would like to do for God." Many of the items pertain to personal goals but I believe that is how I join forces with the Master and make plans to succeed.

One of the items close to the bottom is to spend more time in prayer. I think that it is probably the single most important thing to go on the list but I didn't put it first only because there is no specific order to the list just yet.

In the end I wondered if I should have put down a few things that I think are 'impossible' and see how the Lord reacts to those thoughts as well.

After all it's the communication that matters isn't it? Talking to the Lord as though you are in the room with him and he's sitting close by listening intently to what we have to say to him and then listening just as intently to what he has to express.

Anyway, have you decided to make plans to reach any new goals? Share them with me , won't you?

John

...ho, ho, holycow!

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the words.
My first reaction to a statement made by a colleague about something that had occurred overnight was disbelief.
"Well, that's just something that happens sometimes...." It was as though it was no big thing to him. I on the other hand, saw it as something important and to be addressed right away. Which one of us was right?
I have to check myself ever so often to see if I'm becoming too complacent or too soft or even too hard; a constant review of my feelings and point of view. Not that my opinion matters in the slightest, but I do consider it my duty to keep things on somewhat of an even keel as it were. And I believe that there should be order and safety in a society as well. If we allow violence to go unaddressed then we invite more of the same if the subject is met with little or no repercussions for committing the offence.
I have to submit to the authority of the office and conduct myself with the best possible attitude at all times. That is a mandate from God not just a premise of man and yet I see the opposite occurring here with no ramifications. How do I in all good conscience keep silent?
Should I speak out? Should I keep still and watch? What is best here? Is there even a solution?
God help us.
I am troubled and yet at a loss for answers; stymied by the circumstance and somewhat disillusioned. I can see where prayer is the only recourse that doesn't bring on even more confrontation. Perhaps that is what Paul was referring to when he said, "Pray without ceasing."

...twas the day before the night before Christmas

I arrived at the church to find a last minute flurry of activity going on.

The doors were opening and closing almost as fast as one or two people could get in or out at one time. I had thought that it would be quiet since we are supposed to be closed until next Monday.

That was certainly not the case.

I made my way down the hallway listening intently to the hurried conversations. It was as though 'the hour' had come and everything had to be accomplished within that hour or they would all be doomed to some fate worse than death scenario.

I marvel at the tenacity of some people. They don't give up no matter what. It's an admirable quality for most but there are those that run it into the ground with the incessant drone of their never ending asking. Can I have $10? Can I have $20? Can I have $5? I don't see how Pastor Bond keeps up with it all. His always kind manner is a miracle in and of itself. I believe that I have only seen him angry one time in the entire time I have been here. God knew what he was doing when he put this man in place. I don't think there is another person on the planet that can do what this one man does and not become homicidal. He always has something good to say and rarely turns anyone down when they make a request. I hope he isn't one of my followers on this blog. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable by praising him so openly but he deserves it and more. You would most certainly agree if you meet him.

At any rate, I did my best to stay' hooked', as it were, and get something accomplished here in the office while it is quiet, but just now I'm leaving on an errand for a friend that needs a ride and I probably won't get the chance to come back and begin again, but that's okay too.

Merry Christmas everyone. I love you

John

...and what time did you say it was?

The sun was partially blocked by a thin cloud cover of loose gray clouds that looked as though they had been washed in dirty dish water.

I got out of bed and stumbled along the hallway to the bathroom and brushed my teeth without looking in the mirror. It was quite an accomplishment really. I always seem to look like the Kips Big Boy restaurant mascot when I first get up. My hair stands straight up in the middle of my head from front to back like a silvery rooster comb. I'm just not in the mood for so much funny that early in the morning if you know what I mean.

Now I don't mind making fun of myself but I usually wait until I can enjoy it. I have to be awake for it and that takes at least a half an hour not counting the time it takes to down my first cup of coffee.

For some reason I didn't have a hard time getting up. I usually have to 'make myself' sit up. That's the first step. Then I have to slide off of the mattress until my feet 'touch down' and then I begin the 'Blindman Stroll' I have made famous. Not only do I not have good sight at those times, I don't have a sense of smell, or feel, or very good hearing. I could easily walk off a cliff without the slightest bit of trouble and not know it until I hit the ground. I may not know it then. Needless to say, I have a bit of an issue waking.

Now before you condemn me for my malady, you might take inventory of your little idiosyncrasies and get back with me later, eh? At any rate, I did make it downstairs and fully enjoyed the first cup and the conversation and everything else that happened before I left for work.

Some days are just meant for being better than others, wouldn't you agree?

....congratulations

I watched a friend get married today.

He had been in dire straits not too very long ago. His life was in a shambles because of Crack Cocaine and he had come to OKC Compassion to work out the issues that often plague a person with such a desperate set of circumstances. I marvel at his recovery. Some just languish away and never really get it together, but not this man. His resolve was strong and his work ethic second to none that I've seen. As a leader, he surpassed his peers by miles and seldom stopped to 'smell the roses', but kept trudging forward until the day came for him to leave and even then God opened that door wide.

I watched as he looked at his new bride and the look in return was one of great love and satisfaction at finding such a man to live the rest of her life with as one. It could easily have been a movie played out on the big screen but no, it was a milestone that only a handful got to see in person.

For years to come this day will be special to these two. They will look back on it and smile and wonder how they could have ever been so blessed to find each other, but some of us will know because it has happened to us as well. I was blessed, so greatly blessed that I still marvel at the things that had to happen to make it possible for us to even meet, much less marry.

God is so cool. He always knows. he always makes things work that no one else could have ever done, no matter how long they had to do it.

....TICK, TICK, TICK

I almost blew up.

Yes, it's true, I almost exploded on someone last night. They had been less than compliant with the rules and regulations and when I confronted the person they began accusing everyone else for their infractions. Generally speaking I take those opportunities to let the person 'hang themselves', but some some reason I just got mad; plain old down right 'hot'.

It may have had something to do with the term they used to describe the others conveniently brought into the conversation in an effort to deflect the subject of going to the strip clubs in the area on their time off from work. I detest the use of the word "Bum" when it comes to describing another person in the same circumstances. Some people are "bums", but not in this case. The ones that sit by the off ramps and wave signs all day long and take their ill gotten gains to the motel at night and live the good life off of other people's tender heart; those are the Bums with a capital "B". By the way, I recently heard that the average income for that type of panhandling is over $70,000 per year. Remember that the next time you pull up to a stop light and the guy or gal walking up to your car is wearing a $100 pair of tennis shoes to keep their feet from hurting because they stand on their feet all day collecting your money. Just for grins, arrive about sundown and follow them to where they are staying and really get an eye full.

One of my good friends did just that and watched as a man got into a BMW after changing his shoes and his jacket and then watched him drive away, dialing his cell phone.

The conversation ended as soon as the man finished venting about how hard he has it in the Program House since he has been here. I listened quietly and when he stopped talking I asked him if that was all and he said, "yes", waiting intently for my response.

"Okay, I'm ready to go", I said in a matter of fact manner, and walked to the door, opening it for him.

"That's all you have to say?", he asked with an odd look on his dirty face.

"That's all I have to say tonight", I said, "but I'll have a lot more to say when we meet again with Pastor Bond tomorrow."

The confrontation was over but the anger lingered all the way home. I did my best to 'talk around it' once I arrived, but I ended up sharing my displeasure with my beautiful wife and she listened, knowing that I needed to 'get it off my chest'. Aren't wives wonderful?

I only share this to give you insight into this crazy world of recovery and readjustment, where I find myself putting feet on my faith and reaching out with all that is within me.