... waiting for the 'bus'.

I think that I'm a lot like everybody else when it comes to waiting.

I try to be patient but then I think about how much time has gone by and I wonder if it couldn't be done faster and still yet, even more efficiently. I know, I'm bad. I try not to disassemble everyone else's designs but it seems to be a built in character flaw or something. Someone please tell me how to reverse this attribute; I don't want it.

The weather is really great today. I sat in my car enjoying the sun warming me; feeling the sensation of the increasing radiation through the glass. I can all but sense the onslaught of Spring. We are low on moisture though. Some parts of the country are inundated with flooding while we sit here in a mini drought. Go figure.

I got a very nice blessing yesterday. A friend of mine gave me a check to pay on bills. I hadn't thought that he had any money but there it was, more than enough to cover the electric bill for this month. I continue to marvel at God's capacity for providing. He must really love us a lot to do the things he does. I know there is just no way I can compete with that level of giving, loving, and plain old grace.

... the proverbial rabbit

I always did like to see things come together well. Even though it means subjecting oneself to a kind of humiliation, I think getting things right is better in the end than being 'the winner' of the argument or 'the contest'. I guess you could say that I consider my pride to be at stake when I sit down to write something for someone else. I have a tendency to think that I'm always right even when I haven't checked out the situation in it's entirety. And so I just 'take it for granted' that I'm putting down the right thing.

Of late I find that I'm not so often 'right' or 'as right' as I think I am. How humbling. How could I be wrong? Certainly not. That's just not allowed. I have to be right.... don't I? Not really.

Maybe I'm maturing after all. Maybe, just maybe, I'm finding out that I can step back and let the other person take the lead or have their say or , dare I say it, 'correct me"? All this time I considered my opinion above the others and discarded, for the most part, what was aid in passing, taking it with that justifying grain of salt and smirking in the background as though they were not 'up to it' like me. How course. I'm ashamed.

And so, today as a matter of practice, I will begin a new thing. I will try my best to listen better and endeavor to learn from others before I offer my sage advice and smokin' hot wisdom.

Maybe I can learn. Perhaps its not too late for this rabbit.

....how do you do it?

I finished a song today. It was one for King Music in Texas. They send me a poem and I add the music to it and send it back. Then they send them out all over the world and collect royalties for playing them on radio stations. So far I'm on stations in Germany, Australia, Netherlands, England and a couple of places I can't remember right now. I signed with the company a few months back and now they are also sending our music out along with their CDs. I hope to begin getting something back from that endeavor sometime this year. We'll see.

It feels good to finish a song. Sometimes I wonder if I'll get any more but then, out of the blue, there comes another one. God has been so good to me in that regard. He usually wakes me up about 3 o'clock in the morning and gives me a line or two. I know it's him. Who else would do such a thing? I can normally get most if not all of it done in the first sitting, but sometimes the words linger and I struggle with them and either take a break or go back to it after a little time has passed and I can approach it from a fresh perspective.

Church was interesting today. We just finished a revival. It was originally scheduled for Sunday through Wednesday but they decided to go on through Friday. Evidently no one showed up Thursday and Friday and we really heard about it this morning from Pastor Lantz.

He is so good to us. I hate to see him angry or distraught about anything. He loves us so. I know we must be a real test of his patience at times. Sometimes I just don't want to go but I make myself because I don't want to let him down. They have been so good to Di and I. We actually lived in the church for over two years. We were a couple of church mice so to speak, living upstairs in a room with no windows. I loved it and hated to move out but God had a different plan in mind and here we are with two grandsons in tow and waiting for what's next. Things can change in a hurry. I have quit trying to out guess the Lord. He is too tricky for me. I just go along with whatever he does and try to accept everything as a positive change. I used to fight him, inside, but I have realized that its useless. It's much better to adjust and look for what he is doing and try to work things out the way he wants.

A friend once asked me, "How do you do it?" He was talking about our lifestyle and how little we make in the way of actual money each month. "We have just learned how to trust God for what we need, I guess," was all I could think of to tell him at the time. He makes good money and doesn't lack for anything; buying whatever he feels like and doesn't seemingly have a care in the world. I don't know why we don't make any more than we do, its just the way it is and I have to believe that God wants it that way or he would give us more. It's to hard to try to figure things like that out, in my little mind anyway. I think its better left to someone that knows things about money; I certainly don't.

...decisions, decisions, decisions

I think the worst part about having too many choices is having to decide which ones to do and which ones to leave undone.
I counted the wesites today and we now have almost twenty online as we speak. I had no idea that I could do that many at one time. I have a couple of sites that I would like to work on a lot more than I do but I have "other duties" to perform that eat up my time on a daily basis.
I know all of us have busy schedules but I seem to have overloaded mine ...again.

Some of you will recall a man by the name of Jack McClung, the inventor of "Blue Stuff". I have begun work on his new product, "Jack's Answer". Should all go well, the website itself will be a fulltime job for the most part, so there again, I really need to look at what I'm doing here and make a decision.
I think it has more to do with wanting to be a part of as much as I can and I haven't learned how to say "no" very well so I keep getting 'deeper and deeper' in work with no real waay to accomplish what needs to be done. I can see that the work has begun to suffer as well and that is disturbing in and of itself. I have always been a man of my word but of late I find my energy isn't as good as it once was and I don't get as much accomplished.
...decisions, decisions, decisions.

...the end is in sight

I sat up in bed wondering how cold the floor would feel, wanting to stay right where I was.

The cozy covers begged me to stay right where I was, but the urge to get on into the day was stronger than the laziness I felt at the time. I knew that there were better things awaiting me if I would get going. I had two small projects on the verge of completion and I needed the income to keep the phone on.

Bills have a way of making their presence known don't they? It may just be a little nudge in the back of your mind, but it's there none the less. I always know when the phone bill is about to announce its arrival. For some reason that one bill nags me more than any other. I get these calls from the company that are so annoying. Even the tone of the guys voice on the line makes me irritable. I should have that job. I would be pleasant and unassuming.

'"Hello there! Did you know it's that time again? Why yes, you have another chance to pay for something! This time your Phone bill is due! How great! Don't rush, there's plenty of time to get it in before the day is over. You can do it online even! How cool is that? Just send us all your money, how's that? Then you won't have to worry about it for a long time. We'll keep up with the balance for you and call you back when it's due again. How's that?"

I am so glad to see a spark of new life in my wife's beautiful face this morning as we sat together in the living room. She has been terribly sick and I couldn't do a thing for her. She never gets sick. It's against the rules at our house for the Mom to get sick. Who will take care of us? Who will make the soup and bring us ice cream in bed? That's the rule. Mom can never be sick.... ever. No tolerance.

I got to bring the devotional at noon today.It felt really good to tell others how Jesus set me free. They seemed to take it all in and consider the possibilities that they too can get it. Several hands went up when I asked them if they got the meaning of what the words had to say and then I got to pray for a few of them. The small beginnings of such a chance encounter can have great results. I anticipate that I will get to do this a lot more in the coming days. Pray for me that God will use me fully.

...winter woes

I sat up in bed and wondered what time it was. I had failed to set my alarm on my phone and had even left it downstairs out of earshot. Not knowing made me restless and so I clamored out from underneath the covers and started the daily ritual of getting myself out the door and to the office.

The weather has moved in on us like a slow moving train. It hasn't really bogged us down but I do have an issue with my wipers. One is shredded and the other doesn't want to clean the entire surface.

The pace slows a great deal here when the weather makes an entrance. I don't know why some people can't adjust to the circumstances. They seem to be oblivious to the changes and still drive just as carelessly as they do in good weather.

I haven't felt well in several weeks now. The stopped up nose and the aches are a constant reminder that something is going around that causes all sorts of problems. It seems a s though everyone in our house has had this at least once. I'm going on my third go around with this stuff. When does it end?

Aren't we supposed to be joyful all the time? I miss the mark quite a bit on this one. I like being happy and exuberant around others but today is just not that day.

There's just no fun in being sick.

...he did what?

The first sign of trouble was the smell of smoke coming from the basement.

I arrived at the office a bit later than I normally do on Monday to find the place buzzing with overly excited workers. The news had been all about the fire at one of the recovery houses. A former resident had gone off the deep end and returned to his former residence and began an assault on the house.

First he threw bricks through the windows narrowly missing a blind man sitting in a chair in the living room. He next barricaded the door and went to the basement where he started a fire from some trash he had retrieved from the trash can outside.

It was a harrowing experience for the men trapped inside for that few moments but all turned out well including the capture and arrest of the deranged man.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here. I don't seem to make much of a difference overall but then I get an opportunity to do something no one else can do and I am reaffirmed and greatly encouraged. I realize we all have our place. We all have our calling and we all need to be aware that it's up to God what happens and not us.

What has that got to do with a fire when I wasn't there to help or warn the men or help put out the fire? Nothing really. It just goes to show me that I am not the focus of what is happening here; God is. He decides what happens and how it happens and I don't have to be involved in everything that goes on around here. I just get to be a part of what happens and that's all that's matters in the end.

At least it's not boring.