...waiting

I really wish there was something we could do about hackers and their destruction of the Internet.

It seems like every time I turn around there is another issue to deal with, another virus, another Trojan, another vicious attack for no apparent reason other than the 'fun' of tearing up something that doesn't belong to them.

For instance, today, I came to work expecting to get a lot done on an important project we have going on a brochure. I clicked on the screen to what I thought would be a quick response to my command only to wait several seconds before the program opened. Not good. Anytime you have to wait that long for something to open you know that there has to be a problem somewhere. Usually I blow it off to the slow connection where I am right now, but this was much longer than usual and I wasn't even online. Like I said, 'not good'.

My wife has a virus of some sort that has even invaded 'Safe Mode'. I tried to run the clean up tools I have been successfully using for months without a hitch and they did virtually nothing. This must be a whopper of a virus. My programs usually always pick up everything that it encounters.

Not this time.

But back to my original thought. There just ought to be a way to find out who these perpetrators of evil are and put a stop to this nonsense.

Now I sound like my grandmother did when I was a kid. She used to rail about the tyranny and the taxes.... I suppose I have gravitated over to the cyber arrea to set up my soapbox.

Anybody else out there see a solution?

"just...getting along"

"Can't we all just get along?"

When I heard that I marveled at the unique wisdom coming from smeone that hadn't really ever shown any wisdom to speak of in his personal life. Our concepts and precepts get mixed up in the everyday back and forth movemenets we so often catagorize as "takin' care of business". I wonder just how funny we look to the Lord when he sees us posturing and 'giving our opinion'. I have watched my mannerisms and language of late. How do I really come across to the ones around me? Am I revered or revolting? I pray it is the former. No one wants to be thought of as revolting, do they?

The sad news of my two freinds losing thier baby put a rather negative spin on what I have been doing here at the office. They have tried so hard to make everything work out and yet....
"Of All The Tears" comes to mind for some odd reason. It speaks about the lost that Jesus will cry over in the end but I thought of it because I know that Jesus weeps over our despair and my friends are truly despairing just now.

The weather is perfect and the mood of those around me seems bright and upbeat. How can they know that just across town there are two people deep in thought about the loss they have just experienced.

"One side's up and the other side is down".... that's from some poem I read centuries ago or it's going to be a lyric someday.

Anyway, here I am just watching again. Looking for the beauty that is surely there, looking for the meaning that is surely there, looking to the One that is surely there... 'just ...getting along'.

...yes, I can still hear it.

The words and the music haven't left me since I first heard the song.
I won't name the title so you can put your own song in it's place and feel the same feelings right along with me, but I'm sure you know what I'm talkming about. A great song is just that. It keeps reminding the listener of it's story and keeps it's meaning in your mind long after the last note has died out on the wind.
I have been waking at night with this song on my lips. I have been walking around humming this song, finding myself doing it over and over again. How funny. It's not even one of my own songs. I just can't seem to get it out of my mind or out of my ears. I think one thing about it is the arrangement. I haven't found 'mine' yet and that always bothers me until I really make it mine and 'own it', so to speak. There are those of us that live to write such a song.
'If only...'

...and so on and so on

I don't know how many of you out there read other blogs. It takes a bit of time to really keep up with all there is to read these days and so I know that my blog may well be on the bottom of just about everyone's reading list. That in and of itself doesn't keep me from posting. I like to write and I like to form the words and see how they 'dance' on the page ...or sometimes just lie there. All to often I think that I may wander in the writing a bit but I want the meanings to come from inside and not from some 'point of view' I'm trying to convince others with.
What brings up this topic of the day is the blog I just finished reading. It talks about the waste of time some people make in reading all the drivel that's out there. I agree to a certain extent but I also think that we should keep abrerast of what's going on any where we can go to find reliable sources that actually tell it like it is. We all know there isn't much of that on the evening news these days.
I suppose if it were to be made plain, I don't really have a lot to say that may change the world, but I do have an open mind and I do think that communication is key to actually seeing changes come about that are positive and encouraging.
And so, having said all that, I just want to encourage all of you out there to keep on talking, keep on writing, and keep in touch with those you love.
They need you as much as you need them and vice versa!

...and then came the sun.

I stepped out onto the porch to see what the day looked like and almost went back inside. I could have slept all day in weather like this. The cool, morning breeze brushed my cheek and I was glad that I had out on an extra shirt. I turned the knob to 'warm' om the heater in the car and waited for the engine to warm up a bit before backing out.

As I arrived at the hotel where Jack lives I saw the differences in the construction signs. The streets around the hotel have been torn up f0or months and will be for even longer but I could see progress none the less and was happy that there had been at least a couple of minor completions.

Why does the construction of roads seem to take so much time? There must be a better way to get things done, but I'm not going to change jobs. That would mean even more time to get something done. I wouldn't make a very good 'road worker'. They have to put up with a lot and I don't think that I'm cut out for that type of torture; at least not at this stage of the game.

I got an email from my friend in Colorado. They got snow. Here it is May and they still get snow.

How wonderful it must be to wake up every morning and look out on the majesty of the Spanish Peaks. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. I can hardly wait to get there when we go and I hate to leave when it's time to come home. The mere thought of moving there is such a real temptation I don't think that I could stop myself if I got the chance. Of course there are many things to consider about making that choice, but I would truly love it.

I'm looking ahead to next weekend. I'll be in church watching all the mothers line up across the front and wonder just what my little "grannie" is doing right about then. She's not getting any younger and I seem to miss her more each week as time goes on. We never have been close in regards to distance but we have been close in the spirit for many years. Her life has been quite unusual in many ways and simple in others, but I know how she loves her mountains and ha finally gotten to go back to them once again. I'll make every effort to go see her this summer. There may not be many more of them for her so I certainly want to make sure I am included in what goes on around her from now on.

Isn't it funny how we see things 'speed up' as we get older?

...like waking the rocks

I was aroused from a deep sleep by the wonderful sensation of a warm hand stroking my arm.Dianna had heard my alarm and I hadn't.
The day before was finally over at 11:45 PM that night and seemingly went on for days. Having begun at the usual 7:45 Am that morning, I ended up standing on my feet for well over hours before leaving the mall at 7 PM. As I mentioned in my other post, the tornado alarm put an early end to my watch at Shawnee Mall.
I hadn't sold anything anyway, so it became a good excuse to stop the torment and 'call it a day'.
And so, even as I slowly climbed out of bed this morning I thought how nice it would be to see 9 PM roll around and signal my release.
Unfortuneately it's only now a little past 5 PM and my feet are pleading to be removed. I don't see how people do this on a regular basis. The tile floor just simply tears me up.
My favorite pasttime of watching people and their strange habits has only been heighteneed since beginning this adventure with Jack in the mall. More and more I think, "how dumb are some of these people, really?"
For instance, the machine right next to me is a favorite stopping place for the dumbest of the dumb. For some unknown reason they continue to feed coin after coin into the slot, all the while knowing that the machine isn't going to give up that little rubber ball even if they do get it to lodge itself in the grabbing tool. Everytime it picks up a ball it shakes as the arm is about halfway up and releases the 'prize', letting it tumble back into the loose pile of slightly under inflated balls. The thing has 'gimmick' all but written in bold red letters across the front of the case. We've been here the better part of a month and I have yet to see anyone get a ball to come out the shoot.
Enough sarcasm, I'm starting to sound like Siscall & Ebert.
I do know one thing; if a person wants to learn about human characteristics all they have to do is come to the mall and sit and watch.
The things you will learn will amaze you.

...time to go

The sound of the tornado siren suddenly overshadowed the usual crowd noises inside the mall. I turned toward the door and saw a large group of people heading in my direction fromn outsie. They too had heard the ominous sound and were heading for the closest storm shelter inside. This was my first tornado siren experience indoors at a mall. I immediately noticed the looks on the faces opf the people swarming toward me. They all had the 'deer in the headlights' expression and were waiting for the mall security to direct them on into the shelter.
One of the vendors motioned to me as she listened intentlty to her cell phone. I walked that way and overheard her say, "oh, that's good... it won't be here for another 30 minutes then... uh, okay, I'll call you back later and let you know."
"It won't be here for..."
"Yeah, I heard you on the phone just now", I said in reply. "That's good, I think I'll lock up and head on to the house from here. I don't like being couped up with a bunch of people that I don't know so I think I'll pass on going to the shelter."
"Okay, I think I'll wait around here for a little while. They always give the all clear over the loud speakers as soon as they hear from the police department that everything is safe again. I've been to the shelter before. It gets crowded in there and no one listens. They all try to talk at the same time and ..... You know something, I think I'll close up early too. I haven't had a day off in 6 weeks. This will work for a little break from all the hussle and bustle and I can watch the news at the house."
"I think you've got the right idea", I said smiling back at her. Jack and I had both commented on her strong work ethic. We had spent a lot of time there a week or so ago and I watched her steadily at it day after day and thought to myself what a hard worker she is.
"Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."
"You too", I answered as I walked away.
I drove the 35 miles back to the city and watched the clouds get farther and farther away. By the time I reached the Air Force Base the sky was almost completely clear. I had hoped for a rainstorm but it looked to be a bleak possibility at that point. Maybe another day. All the rain had traveled Eastbound. The chances may go up later on tonight. We desperately need the moisture. The grassfires have been terrible. Someone mentioned the Dust Bowl days theother day. I wondered how long the rain would hold off and just how bad it might get before we do get rain.