I feel like someone sat on me... for a long time.
Have you ever felt crushed; just loaded down with the weight of the world on your shoulders? It is unpleasant to say the least. I would really like to sleep for about a month and wake up refreshed and ready to do battle but odds are I would still be right where I am now.
I have gone through a tough couple of weeks here. The work has been a disaster on more than one count and I find myself looking for relief yet finding none on the horizon.
I know we aren't supposed to complain and I don't want it to sound as though I am but aren't we also supposed to share our concerns and pitfalls with one another? I tend to feel better once I get something off my chest and down on paper for others to read and contemplate. The end result often brings a peace to the tumult. I could sure use some right about now.
I think we all like for things to run smoothly but just how often does that happen on a regular basis?
I have long strings of good and then the bad explodes onto the scene. I suppose that's life in the raw but I don't have to like it, do I?
Okay, enough negative.
I do have a praise report.
I have a new HD video camera. It is really kewl. I can now do some of the projects I have wanted to do for so long. The features are great and the picture quality is top of the line; especially in comparison to what I have done with the old camera.
Look for some new things to pop up on YouTube pretty soon. I really want to do a documentary on the homeless. It has been in my mind for such a long time now. I can almost see it playing out in my head; just the way I have envisioned it coming together. With my contacts downtown I feel that I can portray this mounting dilemma in such a way that will better inform the public. If I can accurately relate the message people will be able to grasp the enormity of the problem and where it is leading. I don't think anyone knows how dire it is out there except the people 'in the action' who are 'working in the trenches'. The negative percentages are growing at an alarming rate.Too many are just one paycheck away from the streets. We can do so very much if we will. It doesn't take nearly as much effort and resources as most people think. It only takes a few who truly care and some well placed resources and progress can be made.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
...there I go again... Soapbox!
The weather is fabulous today. It won't get over 65 degrees and the clouds are spectacular.
I spent the afternoon yesterday finishing the foundation pad for the new building... or should I say "almost' finishing. We have a few high and low spots here and there but for the most part it is there and ready to dig post holes and pier footings.
I put together a small crew of teens to do the digging and they seemed excited to get to do some 'man work' for a change and it turned out nicely for all. Dianna brought pizza for the snack and they shoveled right up to dark without a bit of hesitation.
I am about to add a good camera to the One Lord arsenal. It has been quite some time since we had a chance to do quality video and this will present the opportunity to do High Definition work. That moves us up a level or two in the pecking order, so to speak which suits me fine. I would rather be shooting footage and editing than digging post holes and pier footers any day.
I have, however, had a small issue with an old friend. He called last week and acted enthusiastic about being a part of the camera acquisition process I have found myself in of late. His promise of a certain amount encouraged me and I thought it good to get back in touch with him after almost a year. I had dealt with him in the 1980's and then again about a year or so back when I was working with the homeless mission downtown. He acted like he wanted to do a real project and get the homeless vets some help with a range of issues that seem to plague that sector of our society.
Now it looks as though he will back out and thus I will lose the chance to minister to him again. He needs help but I can't force myself on him ; that would only drive him farther away. His PTSD flares up on a regular basis and it takes him into some dark places; places I'd rather he not go.
That seems to be a more or less norm for some. The riggers of life catch them unaware and they sink into depression over and over again until eventually, the outlook becomes pretty dim. I worked with several vets at one time over an extended time period. However the opportunities to help have dwindled over time. I'm just not 'there' to be around them like before and the distance widens quickly when you're not 'around' to be seen and be accessible.
I want to do a documentary on the homeless. Getting the real story can be difficult but I know where to go to get the best shots and I think the right pictures will be more than enough to show how desperate the situation can become. If more people could see the 'real', I believe they would be more inclined to help. Too many times the 'generic' picture is put out there and it turns people off. The "PR"people try to 'sell' people on an idea and more often than not they only get a small portion of the real picture and that doesn't do anyone any good; except for the donation factories, of course.
There I go again... Soapbox!
I spent the afternoon yesterday finishing the foundation pad for the new building... or should I say "almost' finishing. We have a few high and low spots here and there but for the most part it is there and ready to dig post holes and pier footings.
I put together a small crew of teens to do the digging and they seemed excited to get to do some 'man work' for a change and it turned out nicely for all. Dianna brought pizza for the snack and they shoveled right up to dark without a bit of hesitation.
I am about to add a good camera to the One Lord arsenal. It has been quite some time since we had a chance to do quality video and this will present the opportunity to do High Definition work. That moves us up a level or two in the pecking order, so to speak which suits me fine. I would rather be shooting footage and editing than digging post holes and pier footers any day.
I have, however, had a small issue with an old friend. He called last week and acted enthusiastic about being a part of the camera acquisition process I have found myself in of late. His promise of a certain amount encouraged me and I thought it good to get back in touch with him after almost a year. I had dealt with him in the 1980's and then again about a year or so back when I was working with the homeless mission downtown. He acted like he wanted to do a real project and get the homeless vets some help with a range of issues that seem to plague that sector of our society.
Now it looks as though he will back out and thus I will lose the chance to minister to him again. He needs help but I can't force myself on him ; that would only drive him farther away. His PTSD flares up on a regular basis and it takes him into some dark places; places I'd rather he not go.
That seems to be a more or less norm for some. The riggers of life catch them unaware and they sink into depression over and over again until eventually, the outlook becomes pretty dim. I worked with several vets at one time over an extended time period. However the opportunities to help have dwindled over time. I'm just not 'there' to be around them like before and the distance widens quickly when you're not 'around' to be seen and be accessible.
I want to do a documentary on the homeless. Getting the real story can be difficult but I know where to go to get the best shots and I think the right pictures will be more than enough to show how desperate the situation can become. If more people could see the 'real', I believe they would be more inclined to help. Too many times the 'generic' picture is put out there and it turns people off. The "PR"people try to 'sell' people on an idea and more often than not they only get a small portion of the real picture and that doesn't do anyone any good; except for the donation factories, of course.
There I go again... Soapbox!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
... are we there yet?
Beginning a new job always carries a lot of excitement for me. I relish the thought of everything being new and shiny and in front of me like some anticipated vacation to a tropical island. However, once the 'honeymoon ' is over the work looms large and 'the thrill of the hunt' sensation subsides. This is where I find myself... things 'looming'.
I had greatly anticipated that the first stage of the new building would have been done by now and we could be digging post holes and pier holes. That way we would be ready for the first load of material to arrive; but it was not to be.
The first tractor man did a horrible job on the pad surface so I located and hired a second one the following week. His comments lead me to believe that he was qualified and I made a deal for him to do a 'turn key' job and he agreed. That too was a fiasco. He was there for over 8 hours on what he described as an easy 4 hour job and he still didn't finish the work. Needless to say, I was fried by days end and ready to shoot something or someone. The hole in the ground was enormous and well below grade not to mention the 7 foot pile of dirt sitting next to the pad site; a good 10 yards if not more.
Now don't get me wrong, I like a good challenge but this was bordering on the ridiculous!
Finally, I rented a skid and put all of the dirt back where it had been and got very close to finishing in just over 3 hours. Not bad for a novice if I do say so. Had I done that in the first place I would be digging post holes by now. Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20, right?
I am once again on my way over to the jobsite to inspect what the mornings rain did to settle the ground and to inspect my handiwork as to it's relative closeness to finish. When I left there at dark last night there were several dips in the top layers at various places that will invariably have to be filled. I pray that the rain helped me out to some extent because the soil is so sandy. A good rain was just what I needed to evaluate the previous day efforts. The thought comes to mind of the old scenario about the long trip involving parents and children.
The inevitable question somehow always presents itself..."are we there yet?"
I had greatly anticipated that the first stage of the new building would have been done by now and we could be digging post holes and pier holes. That way we would be ready for the first load of material to arrive; but it was not to be.
The first tractor man did a horrible job on the pad surface so I located and hired a second one the following week. His comments lead me to believe that he was qualified and I made a deal for him to do a 'turn key' job and he agreed. That too was a fiasco. He was there for over 8 hours on what he described as an easy 4 hour job and he still didn't finish the work. Needless to say, I was fried by days end and ready to shoot something or someone. The hole in the ground was enormous and well below grade not to mention the 7 foot pile of dirt sitting next to the pad site; a good 10 yards if not more.
Now don't get me wrong, I like a good challenge but this was bordering on the ridiculous!
Finally, I rented a skid and put all of the dirt back where it had been and got very close to finishing in just over 3 hours. Not bad for a novice if I do say so. Had I done that in the first place I would be digging post holes by now. Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20, right?
I am once again on my way over to the jobsite to inspect what the mornings rain did to settle the ground and to inspect my handiwork as to it's relative closeness to finish. When I left there at dark last night there were several dips in the top layers at various places that will invariably have to be filled. I pray that the rain helped me out to some extent because the soil is so sandy. A good rain was just what I needed to evaluate the previous day efforts. The thought comes to mind of the old scenario about the long trip involving parents and children.
The inevitable question somehow always presents itself..."are we there yet?"
Friday, September 20, 2013
....I guess that's not so bad ... is it?
The rain was like a welcome friend coming to the door this morning.
I shut off the alarm and went right back to sleep. I can't remember the last time I did that.
What makes the rain so comforting? Is it the inviting coolness after long, hot summer days or the wetness that soothes the skin and melts away the 'crust' of the day? Both come to mind.
I have been busy with the tasks of life these past two weeks and forgetting to blog everyone and stay in touch. Please forgive me.
It seems as though I have made a good turn in life recently. The woes of the old job are far behind in my memory and the issues of the day press in, captivating my thoughts.
I have been blessed with several new songs of late as well. It is as though they are waiting there for me to discover them as I sleep or as I read. The words jump off the page and into my mind creating a melody, setting a rhythmic tempo and I'm off and running in search of pen and paper.
The addition of a new guitar has done wonders for my mental atmosphere. I can actually keep it in tune and play more than one song before it goes out of tune like before. "Little Brownie" has served me well but his time is past now and I'm really enjoying "Glory"; the new one.
I can't remember the last new guitar I owned. It has to have been forty years or more.
My new job is exciting. I contracted to do a small building for the first time. It will be quite a learning experience, I'm sure. The ins and outs of what goes where and when are going to keep me on my toes for at least a couple of months. I am rather enjoying the challenge though. I have to keep a pace of sorts and not get ahead of myself or fall too far behind with the components. Everything has to come together in the right order or it will be much harder to complete.
But isn't that a description of life? Everything has to be done in order or life gets out of control and we suffer losses and setbacks.
I find reading the daily Proverb essential to starting the day now. I missed one morning this week and the whole day was terrible.
I apologize for the rambling on so much but I haven't said anything in awhile and it is just 'coming out'.
I guess that's not so bad.... is it?
I shut off the alarm and went right back to sleep. I can't remember the last time I did that.
What makes the rain so comforting? Is it the inviting coolness after long, hot summer days or the wetness that soothes the skin and melts away the 'crust' of the day? Both come to mind.
I have been busy with the tasks of life these past two weeks and forgetting to blog everyone and stay in touch. Please forgive me.
It seems as though I have made a good turn in life recently. The woes of the old job are far behind in my memory and the issues of the day press in, captivating my thoughts.
I have been blessed with several new songs of late as well. It is as though they are waiting there for me to discover them as I sleep or as I read. The words jump off the page and into my mind creating a melody, setting a rhythmic tempo and I'm off and running in search of pen and paper.
The addition of a new guitar has done wonders for my mental atmosphere. I can actually keep it in tune and play more than one song before it goes out of tune like before. "Little Brownie" has served me well but his time is past now and I'm really enjoying "Glory"; the new one.
I can't remember the last new guitar I owned. It has to have been forty years or more.
My new job is exciting. I contracted to do a small building for the first time. It will be quite a learning experience, I'm sure. The ins and outs of what goes where and when are going to keep me on my toes for at least a couple of months. I am rather enjoying the challenge though. I have to keep a pace of sorts and not get ahead of myself or fall too far behind with the components. Everything has to come together in the right order or it will be much harder to complete.
But isn't that a description of life? Everything has to be done in order or life gets out of control and we suffer losses and setbacks.
I find reading the daily Proverb essential to starting the day now. I missed one morning this week and the whole day was terrible.
I apologize for the rambling on so much but I haven't said anything in awhile and it is just 'coming out'.
I guess that's not so bad.... is it?
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
...what a friend
I had another great time at the lake today. We didn't stay as long this time but it was still encouraging and enlightening.
We began with prayer, as usual. The girls have a spot they call "the wall", where they begin each time they come. We stood with outstretched arms, our faces into the wind, looking out over the water like sentinels. As we began I noticed a small boat making it's way out onto the lake, passing right in front of our position about 100 yards away. The girls were already lost in prayer and didn't notice but I watched as the lone occupant suddenly slowed his pace and stared wide eyed at the three of us with our arms in the air there on the shore. I think he thought we were trying to get his attention at first and then realized that we were indeed praying. After a moment he increased his speed and continued on his way.
It made me wonder what his thoughts were at that moment.
We have to make a stand. We have to be a presence in this world that people can look to in times of trouble and need and sorrow and yes, even joy. Too many 'christians' are far too silent. They are like 'undercover agents' that have little or nothing to say when the opportunity presents itself. Our voices should ring out like great trumpets proclaiming the Good News so that people will know where to come when they have a need or when they are seeking answers to life's questions.
On a lighter note, I received a card in the mail today when I got home. I had been looking for it for quite awhile. A friend had said that he was sending it and so I waited for it arrive ... and waited ... and waited. After almost two months it arrived, post marked July 12th. Today is the 22nd of August.
As most of you know, I just quit my job last Friday. Money is a little tight just now and the money order inside is just what the doctor ordered if you know what I mean. If I had gotten it when it was supposed to come in I would probably have already spent it, thinking it was "extra" money; the kind I spend on 'fun'. The Lord knows me better than anyone. He delayed that card so that I would have bill money when I needed it. Man, what a Savior! What a friend!
We began with prayer, as usual. The girls have a spot they call "the wall", where they begin each time they come. We stood with outstretched arms, our faces into the wind, looking out over the water like sentinels. As we began I noticed a small boat making it's way out onto the lake, passing right in front of our position about 100 yards away. The girls were already lost in prayer and didn't notice but I watched as the lone occupant suddenly slowed his pace and stared wide eyed at the three of us with our arms in the air there on the shore. I think he thought we were trying to get his attention at first and then realized that we were indeed praying. After a moment he increased his speed and continued on his way.
It made me wonder what his thoughts were at that moment.
We have to make a stand. We have to be a presence in this world that people can look to in times of trouble and need and sorrow and yes, even joy. Too many 'christians' are far too silent. They are like 'undercover agents' that have little or nothing to say when the opportunity presents itself. Our voices should ring out like great trumpets proclaiming the Good News so that people will know where to come when they have a need or when they are seeking answers to life's questions.
On a lighter note, I received a card in the mail today when I got home. I had been looking for it for quite awhile. A friend had said that he was sending it and so I waited for it arrive ... and waited ... and waited. After almost two months it arrived, post marked July 12th. Today is the 22nd of August.
As most of you know, I just quit my job last Friday. Money is a little tight just now and the money order inside is just what the doctor ordered if you know what I mean. If I had gotten it when it was supposed to come in I would probably have already spent it, thinking it was "extra" money; the kind I spend on 'fun'. The Lord knows me better than anyone. He delayed that card so that I would have bill money when I needed it. Man, what a Savior! What a friend!
Monday, August 19, 2013
... I think so
I spent some quality time with the Lord today.
I took my wife's advice and went to the lake and it was great. There were few people there. An occasional passerby to wave to for the most part, but other than that it was just me and the Lord and one lone, brown dove lighting on the ground amongst the trees in search of food. I do believe the dove was a sign. To me it represented the Holy Spirit on hand to minister to me.
I didn't want to leave when I did but I knew I needed to get back, so I reluctantly turned the van toward home and left the waters to gently roll ashore on their own.
Isn't it funny how easily we get distracted from what's really important? I haven't taken the time to just 'wait before the Lord' in quite some time. How sad.
However, I have made up my mind to do this on a more regular basis from now on. I need it and I know it will be good for me. I need to spend time with the Lord to find out what I'm to do next. I know that his plan is much better than any of mine. I pray to know soon but I also know I have to be patient and wait for him to pass along whatever it is he needs me to hear and understand, no matter what the topic.
Dianna has been such an inspiration. She goes almost every day now and always returns refreshed and ready to continue the battle. I love her so.
I know I'm in for a time of adjustment but that's alright by me. I need to get out of my comfort zone again and see what the Lord has in store for me. I think it's time to get much closer to him now and hear what he has to say a little more directly. Pastor's sermons are tremendous but there's jut no comparison when it's one on one with God. How could it be?
Isn't that the way it was originally designed to be? I think so.
I took my wife's advice and went to the lake and it was great. There were few people there. An occasional passerby to wave to for the most part, but other than that it was just me and the Lord and one lone, brown dove lighting on the ground amongst the trees in search of food. I do believe the dove was a sign. To me it represented the Holy Spirit on hand to minister to me.
I didn't want to leave when I did but I knew I needed to get back, so I reluctantly turned the van toward home and left the waters to gently roll ashore on their own.
Isn't it funny how easily we get distracted from what's really important? I haven't taken the time to just 'wait before the Lord' in quite some time. How sad.
However, I have made up my mind to do this on a more regular basis from now on. I need it and I know it will be good for me. I need to spend time with the Lord to find out what I'm to do next. I know that his plan is much better than any of mine. I pray to know soon but I also know I have to be patient and wait for him to pass along whatever it is he needs me to hear and understand, no matter what the topic.
Dianna has been such an inspiration. She goes almost every day now and always returns refreshed and ready to continue the battle. I love her so.
I know I'm in for a time of adjustment but that's alright by me. I need to get out of my comfort zone again and see what the Lord has in store for me. I think it's time to get much closer to him now and hear what he has to say a little more directly. Pastor's sermons are tremendous but there's jut no comparison when it's one on one with God. How could it be?
Isn't that the way it was originally designed to be? I think so.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
... in the meantime
I quit my job at the park yesterday.
The odds that I would soon be unemployed were greater by the day anyway it seems. At any rate, I had been getting more and more dissatisfied with the way things were going over the past months and then before I realized it, it was over. The unrelenting pressure to say something about the situation was mounting and I half expected a harsh ending to it all at some point. Thankfully, it ended rather quietly with both parties not having to raise our voices.
I ended it by saying, "You need to get yourself another maintenance man....", and that was it. He walked out without another word.
He did make a rather odd statement before I said what I did. He said, "If that's the hill you want to die on ... it's up to you...." What does that mean exactly? It must come from some obscure story of some sort that he recalls from his past. I have never heard those words in that context before.
Okay, so, where now? Where does a person like me go to get work ...and then again what kind of work?
Di says that I should just stop everything and just go before the Lord and ask him what to do next. That's probably the best advice anyone could pass along to another person in a situation such as this, wouldn't you agree?
I do and that's just what I intend.
I do have a lot of other work I can be doing, but it doesn't exactly pay anything for the completion. It just needs doing.
I feel a kind of relief. The pressure to please a person that can't be pleased is like a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I can actually breathe better.
I do wonder if there will be any unforeseen repercussions. Will he be vindictive toward Dianna as she continues to manage the park? Will he just fire her and send us packing so to speak. That's what we would have to do ...pack.
As for me, I will leave all that up to the Lord and how he sees fit to arrange the circumstances from here on out. I always feel better and do better when I remember that God is in control.
Anyway, I just wanted all to know that I am among the ranks of the unemployed for a time. Let me know if you need anything done ...in the meantime.
The odds that I would soon be unemployed were greater by the day anyway it seems. At any rate, I had been getting more and more dissatisfied with the way things were going over the past months and then before I realized it, it was over. The unrelenting pressure to say something about the situation was mounting and I half expected a harsh ending to it all at some point. Thankfully, it ended rather quietly with both parties not having to raise our voices.
I ended it by saying, "You need to get yourself another maintenance man....", and that was it. He walked out without another word.
He did make a rather odd statement before I said what I did. He said, "If that's the hill you want to die on ... it's up to you...." What does that mean exactly? It must come from some obscure story of some sort that he recalls from his past. I have never heard those words in that context before.
Okay, so, where now? Where does a person like me go to get work ...and then again what kind of work?
Di says that I should just stop everything and just go before the Lord and ask him what to do next. That's probably the best advice anyone could pass along to another person in a situation such as this, wouldn't you agree?
I do and that's just what I intend.
I do have a lot of other work I can be doing, but it doesn't exactly pay anything for the completion. It just needs doing.
I feel a kind of relief. The pressure to please a person that can't be pleased is like a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I can actually breathe better.
I do wonder if there will be any unforeseen repercussions. Will he be vindictive toward Dianna as she continues to manage the park? Will he just fire her and send us packing so to speak. That's what we would have to do ...pack.
As for me, I will leave all that up to the Lord and how he sees fit to arrange the circumstances from here on out. I always feel better and do better when I remember that God is in control.
Anyway, I just wanted all to know that I am among the ranks of the unemployed for a time. Let me know if you need anything done ...in the meantime.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)