It pains me to think of my 'former life' with all its mistakes and grief.
I was a bad boy and I liked it, but things are much different now. After coming to my senses, I have a great life, an even greater wife and a family to be part of, and I really would like to keep it that way.
Yesterday I got a call from a relative in trouble. She explained the situation and asked for my help. Heretofore our relationship had basically quietly ended and I thought that I would be the last person in the world she would ever ask for any help. Still, in the back of my mind I wanted to reach out and try to do something for her; even the smallest of gestures to show her that I still loved her and cared about her. I hadn't stopped loving her, it was just better to leave her alone and not get involved in all the drama she instigates on a regular basis. For some reason she has to have some form of confrontation going at all times.
In this case the issue involved a range of things that could be handled in a variety of ways and she was asking for a very strong approach to the problem that had an element of danger to it that I wasn't willing to get into. "The old John" would have relished a good challenge like this but I'm not that person anymore; thank God.
I called a friend that is very familiar with these kinds of issues and got some really sound advice. I then called my relative back and was promptly turned down flat. She didn't want to hear the advice or the listen to the solution my friend had offered, she just wanted 'her way'. The advice was sound and would put her in a position where she could have a much better life and be safe from the "elements" endangering her. As we finished up the conversation I asked her to "think about it and call me back". I'm really not expecting the phone to ring anytime soon with her at the other end of the line.
I can look back on some of the very worst decisions I ever made and more often than not, there was another direction being pointed out to me by some well meaning person sitting on the sideline observing with an unbiased eye.
Why is it that we are so self destructive and selfish? You would think that a person with a better than average IQ could see the way more clearly; especially when it's being pointed out to them by someone that knows all the angles and all the ups and downs and is more often than not a lot smarter.
I hung up the phone thinking to my self, "Well, that's probably the last time she'll call me for help...."
"I love you ...ouch...."
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
... and it just kept blowing
I agreed to meet two friends at an outdoor event for the homeless in downtown OKC last Saturday. I made the short drive to the location just off Broadway and 12th Street and parked. As I entered the gate I noticed that the wind had picked up significantly and was beginning to blow about 30 miles per hour. I thought, "Man, this is going to be a trip if it keeps up like this all day...."
Little did I know that it was just the beginning of our windy woes.
I have lived in Oklahoma for over 25 years now and it isn't news that the wind often blows at a steady pace on certain days, but this was more than just a 'usual' windy day to say the least. I took a few photos of some of the activities with my little digital and as the day progressed I began to notice that all of the pictures were taking on an odd similarity.
Everyone's hair was "pointing" in the same direction; straight out. Depending on which way they were standing, their hair was either in their face or straight back behind them. I have never experienced a wind so constant except for the times I was standing on the side of a mountain in Colorado.
The gusts were around 45 miles per hour for most of the two hours I was there and as I left it seemed as though the wind pressure grew worse rather than better.
I can't say for sure, but I think the weather is changing a great deal of late. The recent storm in the East put almost 3 million people in the dark for several days and I heard a scientist say that the Antarctic area he was studying had risen several feet in last five years. The same radio program went on to tell of how the ice has gone from 30 feet thick in the winter to only 25 feet thick and was often found cracking up into large sheets of moving ice flow.
The Earth is groaning just like the Bible said it would. "...the rocks cry out..."
How can anyone not know that God is trying to get through to us in many ways and yet, for the most part our eyes are blinded from it all. Our ears have become dull of hearing about God and his principles and aspirations for us.The cares of this world supersede our judgement and we take the low road to the worst choices and even at that seem to be oblivious to it all.
I left the event with a sense of loss. The small turnout had disappointed the organizers but I knew why the homeless people hadn't come. They were wiser than the organizers. They had found refuge in some abandoned building or a friends house and stayed out of the elements, conserving energy and resources. They are prepared for the worst; we're not.
As I got into my car I realized that I too had been buffeted by the wind. I looked into the rear view mirror and had to laugh. My hair was standing almost straight up like a collar on a shirt.... and it just kept blowing.
Little did I know that it was just the beginning of our windy woes.
I have lived in Oklahoma for over 25 years now and it isn't news that the wind often blows at a steady pace on certain days, but this was more than just a 'usual' windy day to say the least. I took a few photos of some of the activities with my little digital and as the day progressed I began to notice that all of the pictures were taking on an odd similarity.
Everyone's hair was "pointing" in the same direction; straight out. Depending on which way they were standing, their hair was either in their face or straight back behind them. I have never experienced a wind so constant except for the times I was standing on the side of a mountain in Colorado.
The gusts were around 45 miles per hour for most of the two hours I was there and as I left it seemed as though the wind pressure grew worse rather than better.
I can't say for sure, but I think the weather is changing a great deal of late. The recent storm in the East put almost 3 million people in the dark for several days and I heard a scientist say that the Antarctic area he was studying had risen several feet in last five years. The same radio program went on to tell of how the ice has gone from 30 feet thick in the winter to only 25 feet thick and was often found cracking up into large sheets of moving ice flow.
The Earth is groaning just like the Bible said it would. "...the rocks cry out..."
How can anyone not know that God is trying to get through to us in many ways and yet, for the most part our eyes are blinded from it all. Our ears have become dull of hearing about God and his principles and aspirations for us.The cares of this world supersede our judgement and we take the low road to the worst choices and even at that seem to be oblivious to it all.
I left the event with a sense of loss. The small turnout had disappointed the organizers but I knew why the homeless people hadn't come. They were wiser than the organizers. They had found refuge in some abandoned building or a friends house and stayed out of the elements, conserving energy and resources. They are prepared for the worst; we're not.
As I got into my car I realized that I too had been buffeted by the wind. I looked into the rear view mirror and had to laugh. My hair was standing almost straight up like a collar on a shirt.... and it just kept blowing.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
... you want to do what?
I was informed by a friend that one of his friends wanted to do a website. Good for me because I can always use the work.
We first met online , mailing back and forth and then moved on to the phone to talk about what he wanted in the way of a new site for his business/ ministry. I was happy to help and looked forward to doing the site because I had several ideas that I thought might make the site look really neat.
My first attempts were basically rejected and he went on to give me more details as to his wishes. It didn't bother me that my first work didn't pass inspection, I had been down that road many times. In fact it usually happens that way and I take it in stride, knowing that most people don't really know what they want until they actually see something on the page; then they get ideas and inspirations.
In this case the man seemed to have a good idea of what he wanted and explained it well. Again, I made every attempt to do my best.
Tuesday was our first real appointment to work on the site but I had given my phone to Dianna to use in a webinar. That made our communications a bit difficult in that we had to use emailing. I didn't get a sense of frustration from the man but after awhile he dropped out without saying goodnight or goodbye. I tried to email him a couple of times and then left it at that and went home.
Tonight as I arrived at the studio he called and asked if I had time to work on the site. I told him yes, but it would have to wait for a few minutes while I finished up on what I had begun on another project.
He called back in ten minutes asking if I had called and I said , "No, but I was almost done and I would call back in a few minutes."
The next thing I know he is sending me an email terminating.
This is supposedly a good christian man and our conversations had always been very casual. I had done everything I knew to do to accommodate him but it evidently wasn't enough to satisfy.
Where has patience gone; especially among christian brothers?
I'm not trying to be difficult here. In fact, I was as helpful as I knew to be and felt like I had done everything I could to please the man.
We are going to have to learn how to get along a lot better than this if we are going to measure up to God's expectations of how we are to treat each other.
We first met online , mailing back and forth and then moved on to the phone to talk about what he wanted in the way of a new site for his business/ ministry. I was happy to help and looked forward to doing the site because I had several ideas that I thought might make the site look really neat.
My first attempts were basically rejected and he went on to give me more details as to his wishes. It didn't bother me that my first work didn't pass inspection, I had been down that road many times. In fact it usually happens that way and I take it in stride, knowing that most people don't really know what they want until they actually see something on the page; then they get ideas and inspirations.
In this case the man seemed to have a good idea of what he wanted and explained it well. Again, I made every attempt to do my best.
Tuesday was our first real appointment to work on the site but I had given my phone to Dianna to use in a webinar. That made our communications a bit difficult in that we had to use emailing. I didn't get a sense of frustration from the man but after awhile he dropped out without saying goodnight or goodbye. I tried to email him a couple of times and then left it at that and went home.
Tonight as I arrived at the studio he called and asked if I had time to work on the site. I told him yes, but it would have to wait for a few minutes while I finished up on what I had begun on another project.
He called back in ten minutes asking if I had called and I said , "No, but I was almost done and I would call back in a few minutes."
The next thing I know he is sending me an email terminating.
This is supposedly a good christian man and our conversations had always been very casual. I had done everything I knew to do to accommodate him but it evidently wasn't enough to satisfy.
Where has patience gone; especially among christian brothers?
I'm not trying to be difficult here. In fact, I was as helpful as I knew to be and felt like I had done everything I could to please the man.
We are going to have to learn how to get along a lot better than this if we are going to measure up to God's expectations of how we are to treat each other.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
nonsense, I'm fine... you must be crazy
I have recently discovered the little known fact about 'being busy'; it's just not all that it's cracked up to, believe me.
How can one person get so involved in what's going on that he doesn't know when to stop saying "yes" to every opportunity that presents itself? I just don't get it.
I think I'm fairly intelligent, which is highly debateable at my house, but for some reason I find myself covered up with too much to do before "the bell rings" and I run out of time. Have you ever double booked yourself to be in two places at the same time? I mean how dumb is that? And how can a person of so called moderate intelligence do such a thing?
I know, you're going to give me some sage advice about writing things down or keeping a calendar or some other multitasking efficiency option that everybody uses to keep organized. I lose the book or I forget to look at the calendar and then someone asks that question; you know the one.
"Can you do such & such for me by next week?"
"Of course, I'm a multitasking Whiz! I can do anything!"
Balderdash. I'm the nut that always answers that way and for the life of me I just don't know why.
It must be something ingrained deep in my psyche that happened to me a long time ago when I was young and vulnerable. One night a Gnome probably snuck into my room and deposited a faulty set of brains in me and I have been hampered by the mishap all this time.... No, it must have been all that weed I smoked in the 70's and 80's.... No that must have worn off by now.
Something must of happened or I wouldn't be so..... "normal"!
I know, you could send me your take on the subject and between the two of us, we could probably figure this out. Of course you would have to be like me or worse for it to really work, right?
How can one person get so involved in what's going on that he doesn't know when to stop saying "yes" to every opportunity that presents itself? I just don't get it.
I think I'm fairly intelligent, which is highly debateable at my house, but for some reason I find myself covered up with too much to do before "the bell rings" and I run out of time. Have you ever double booked yourself to be in two places at the same time? I mean how dumb is that? And how can a person of so called moderate intelligence do such a thing?
I know, you're going to give me some sage advice about writing things down or keeping a calendar or some other multitasking efficiency option that everybody uses to keep organized. I lose the book or I forget to look at the calendar and then someone asks that question; you know the one.
"Can you do such & such for me by next week?"
"Of course, I'm a multitasking Whiz! I can do anything!"
Balderdash. I'm the nut that always answers that way and for the life of me I just don't know why.
It must be something ingrained deep in my psyche that happened to me a long time ago when I was young and vulnerable. One night a Gnome probably snuck into my room and deposited a faulty set of brains in me and I have been hampered by the mishap all this time.... No, it must have been all that weed I smoked in the 70's and 80's.... No that must have worn off by now.
Something must of happened or I wouldn't be so..... "normal"!
I know, you could send me your take on the subject and between the two of us, we could probably figure this out. Of course you would have to be like me or worse for it to really work, right?
Thursday, October 4, 2012
...lookin' for the rest
I have a really full schedule right now. The hours are long and I never seem to get done but I'm not complaining.... no sir, not me. I can recall the time, not too long ago in fact, when I didn't have anything happening and I was wondering when the next paycheck was going to come in because everything was due. I didn't have two nickels to rub together.
Times have definitely changed for the better.
I do miss the times here in the studio though, when I could pick and choose what I did. I answered to no one in particular, except the Lord, and I was always 'busy'.
I can honestly say that I don't simmer well. I always have to have something going or I stagnate rather quickly. The pace is swift but I like that as well.
When end of day comes around I always have more of the same to look forward on the morrow.
There is no lack of work, for the present and I'm liking it.
Does it seem to be that way a lot nowadays? I mean, is there just a lot more to do than there used to be all those years ago when we were younger and stronger and had more options; or so it seemed?
I'm still not gonna complain about bein' busy.
Times have definitely changed for the better.
I do miss the times here in the studio though, when I could pick and choose what I did. I answered to no one in particular, except the Lord, and I was always 'busy'.
I can honestly say that I don't simmer well. I always have to have something going or I stagnate rather quickly. The pace is swift but I like that as well.
When end of day comes around I always have more of the same to look forward on the morrow.
There is no lack of work, for the present and I'm liking it.
Does it seem to be that way a lot nowadays? I mean, is there just a lot more to do than there used to be all those years ago when we were younger and stronger and had more options; or so it seemed?
I'm still not gonna complain about bein' busy.
Harder or easier?
What makes things harder to do or easier to do?
I often find myself looking up and wondering, "Can this get any harder...?" Or, "Can this be any easier?"
Just what makes things harder for some and easier for others? Are we so smart or so dumb that activities seem to breeze by at a fast pace or slowly pass as though they will never end?
I don't know about you but I wonder about these things more and more these days. My jobs are so varied that I never get bored with the same mundane task to do over and over like in a factory. I probably wouldn't last a week in a setting like that. My mind wonders and before you know it the assembly line would be backed up in both directions and the boss would probably be standing over me with a baseball bat.
I had a difficult job to do the other day. I tried one thing and then another until it finally came together, but not without a lot of effort on my part and some timely advice as to the best approach from an "old hand". It pays to have wise friends.
And as I sit here and type out the thoughts that come to mind from time to time I can only guess at what it is you think to be hard or easy. We all have our mountains to climb.
I only hope that you are having as good a time with them as I am presently.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
... it was great.
I sat down to fix a few issues with one of the websites, thinking that I would be done in only a few minutes so I could go on to bigger and better things. That was not the case.
I looked at the clock a few hours later and realized that I had spent over four hours on what had started out to be a simple task.
Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You think that a job will be easy, simple and short lived but no, the other side of the coin surfaces and there you are, still at it several hours later.
Fortunately I was doing something I like to do and not an arduous task like crawling under a trailer to fix a busted pipe. That was the case a few days ago when I spent two long days trying to help a friend in need. He and his wife are wonderful people and I was happy to help them out but it wasn't the most enjoyable time.
As I sat back and looked at the nearly project I realized that I had done a lot more than I intended, but in doing so I had created something of worth and that in and of itself was very satisfying.
I don't purport myself to be any great artist or a big thinker or anything like that, I just do what I can and hope for the best; being self taught has its drawbacks as well as its benefits.
On this occasion however, I found that my efforts had paid off and the person I had done the work for was very happy with it, so...I closed up shop and went home with a contented smile on my face and a good feeling for having done something well.
There weren't any hitches in the get along for a change.... it was great!
I looked at the clock a few hours later and realized that I had spent over four hours on what had started out to be a simple task.
Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You think that a job will be easy, simple and short lived but no, the other side of the coin surfaces and there you are, still at it several hours later.
Fortunately I was doing something I like to do and not an arduous task like crawling under a trailer to fix a busted pipe. That was the case a few days ago when I spent two long days trying to help a friend in need. He and his wife are wonderful people and I was happy to help them out but it wasn't the most enjoyable time.
As I sat back and looked at the nearly project I realized that I had done a lot more than I intended, but in doing so I had created something of worth and that in and of itself was very satisfying.
I don't purport myself to be any great artist or a big thinker or anything like that, I just do what I can and hope for the best; being self taught has its drawbacks as well as its benefits.
On this occasion however, I found that my efforts had paid off and the person I had done the work for was very happy with it, so...I closed up shop and went home with a contented smile on my face and a good feeling for having done something well.
There weren't any hitches in the get along for a change.... it was great!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
...you just can't do it....
I was helping a friend with his new home when the unexpected began to happen.
I had promised to help get the water on so they could do some simple clean up after painting and have the ability to wash their hands as needed. The only problem with that was, every time we fixed one leak two more sprang up seemingly out of nowhere and "rained on our parade".
What was supposed to be about an hour of work turned into two full days crawling under the trailer time and time again to ferret out the broken pipes and make the repairs.
On the second day I was driving back to the trailer to try again to restore the place to working order when I began to talk to the Lord about it.
"You know Lord, I really don't have time to work on this place. I should be on my regular job but I gave my word so I'm going to stick it out and help get the water on. You're gonna have to help me out though. You know how badly we need our paycheck this week, especially after missing so many days last week helping Mom move. ...."
The prayer was short, as usual and I went on about my business.
After several hours of good, hard work on the trailer we still weren't within sight of our goal. It seemed like everything in the place had an issue of some sort and we would have to put in yet another full day of repairing leaks.
About mid morning my phone rang. I was expecting it to be my boss asking where I was and why wasn't I where I was supposed to be but to my surprise it was a wonderful Christian brother from Supulpa.
"Hello Brother John, how's it going?", he began.
"Oh, it's going", I replied with a little disgust in my voice.
"I have a friend that wants you to build him a website", he continued.
I stopped dead still in my tracks and listened as my friend described the project and then he added that he also wanted to do another music project within the next couple of weeks.
I was stunned.
Not only was I going to get to do the kind of work I love, I was going to get paid more than twice what I make on my regular 'day job'. I was going to get to work in my calling and get paid well to do it.
The thought came to me as I listened to my friend talk. The Lord had made up for what I had lost in wages and blessed me even further by allowing me to do what I love to do the most.
You can't out give God.... No sir, you just can't do it.
I had promised to help get the water on so they could do some simple clean up after painting and have the ability to wash their hands as needed. The only problem with that was, every time we fixed one leak two more sprang up seemingly out of nowhere and "rained on our parade".
What was supposed to be about an hour of work turned into two full days crawling under the trailer time and time again to ferret out the broken pipes and make the repairs.
On the second day I was driving back to the trailer to try again to restore the place to working order when I began to talk to the Lord about it.
"You know Lord, I really don't have time to work on this place. I should be on my regular job but I gave my word so I'm going to stick it out and help get the water on. You're gonna have to help me out though. You know how badly we need our paycheck this week, especially after missing so many days last week helping Mom move. ...."
The prayer was short, as usual and I went on about my business.
After several hours of good, hard work on the trailer we still weren't within sight of our goal. It seemed like everything in the place had an issue of some sort and we would have to put in yet another full day of repairing leaks.
About mid morning my phone rang. I was expecting it to be my boss asking where I was and why wasn't I where I was supposed to be but to my surprise it was a wonderful Christian brother from Supulpa.
"Hello Brother John, how's it going?", he began.
"Oh, it's going", I replied with a little disgust in my voice.
"I have a friend that wants you to build him a website", he continued.
I stopped dead still in my tracks and listened as my friend described the project and then he added that he also wanted to do another music project within the next couple of weeks.
I was stunned.
Not only was I going to get to do the kind of work I love, I was going to get paid more than twice what I make on my regular 'day job'. I was going to get to work in my calling and get paid well to do it.
The thought came to me as I listened to my friend talk. The Lord had made up for what I had lost in wages and blessed me even further by allowing me to do what I love to do the most.
You can't out give God.... No sir, you just can't do it.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
when I get there...
When I get there I'm gonna grab her up in my arms and give her a big squeeze.
I haven't seen my Mom in about 5 years now. We have been on the other side of the planet it seems and yet, only 700 miles away. The distance is nothing really because I feel close to her anywhere I am, even after all this time.
She'll be 85 next Sunday and I can't wait to see that little sparkle that I know is still there in her eyes.
She may be a Maverick but I love her anyway. Some may say that she wasn't a very good mother but I don't care about that. I had a good teacher in my Grandmother and that's what God wanted for me so I'm happy with that. I would have been much worse off had things been different, I know, but it is what it is and there's no changing it now. I have a heart for what is there and no regrets or inhibitions.
Boogie Grannie lives on and more power to her!
I haven't seen my Mom in about 5 years now. We have been on the other side of the planet it seems and yet, only 700 miles away. The distance is nothing really because I feel close to her anywhere I am, even after all this time.
She'll be 85 next Sunday and I can't wait to see that little sparkle that I know is still there in her eyes.
She may be a Maverick but I love her anyway. Some may say that she wasn't a very good mother but I don't care about that. I had a good teacher in my Grandmother and that's what God wanted for me so I'm happy with that. I would have been much worse off had things been different, I know, but it is what it is and there's no changing it now. I have a heart for what is there and no regrets or inhibitions.
Boogie Grannie lives on and more power to her!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
as the smoke rises
I answered the phone thinking that Dianna was about to tell me that dinner was ready or something else along that line, but it was much more serious.
The concern in her voice caught my full attention.
She began by telling me not to be in a rush to get home because she had been denied access to the park where we live. The deputy sheriff was turning people back at the intersection about a block from our home due to a grass fire just east of the park.
The smoke was billowing high into the air as the southerly breeze tugged on the brownish grey plume ranging menacingly close to everything we own. I swallowed hard as her words rang in my ears.
I had thought about the ones that had lost their homes to a huge fire the day before as I was on my way to the studio earlier, but the prospect of becoming a victim myself was even more sobering and stressing.
It's one thing to empathize with the ones that are hurting but it's quite another to be on the other end of the equation.
I reminded Dianna to pray as I hung up the phone wondering what was in store for us in the next few hours.
You just never know. It could be a car accident or a health issue or a grass fire. This world is very much on it's last legs. The signs are so evident and yet I still hear people say, "Show me a sign and I might believe..."
How can they be so blind? It is so plain and yet there are still so many with no beliefs, no convictions and little conscience.
There has to be a way to reach them, there just has to be.
The concern in her voice caught my full attention.
She began by telling me not to be in a rush to get home because she had been denied access to the park where we live. The deputy sheriff was turning people back at the intersection about a block from our home due to a grass fire just east of the park.
The smoke was billowing high into the air as the southerly breeze tugged on the brownish grey plume ranging menacingly close to everything we own. I swallowed hard as her words rang in my ears.
I had thought about the ones that had lost their homes to a huge fire the day before as I was on my way to the studio earlier, but the prospect of becoming a victim myself was even more sobering and stressing.
It's one thing to empathize with the ones that are hurting but it's quite another to be on the other end of the equation.
I reminded Dianna to pray as I hung up the phone wondering what was in store for us in the next few hours.
You just never know. It could be a car accident or a health issue or a grass fire. This world is very much on it's last legs. The signs are so evident and yet I still hear people say, "Show me a sign and I might believe..."
How can they be so blind? It is so plain and yet there are still so many with no beliefs, no convictions and little conscience.
There has to be a way to reach them, there just has to be.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
... and then the weight lifted
[Written last year]
I had been dreading the moment that I would tell my boss that I was no longer going to be with the company. I felt as though I was slowly climbing up an incline with nothng to grab onto for help in getting to the top but I still felt the urge to keep on going no matter what.
I didn't know that it would be as easy as it was... in the end.
He looked sad and disappointed as I gave him all the reasons for leaving but I stood my ground and didn't give in to the temptation to stay on a little longer and see if it would work it's way out. I've done that before and the end is always a lot worse when I somehow 'stretch it out' and make an ordeal of things that should have been stopped at a certain point.
I left with the feeling of elation and my body felt lighter. I even had a spring in my step as I exited the building and walked the short distance to the Suburban and got in.
It was hot inside and I had almost put it into drive when I saw a friend and decided to leave the vehicle running, and cooling, and say hello.
Our discussion naturally went to the meeting I had just finished and as I listened to my friend's opinion I realized that I was no longer part of the overall picture anymore and I could just relax and enjoy a 'visit' with a friend and not feel guilty or worrying that I was supposed to be 'working'.
I'm still a bit 'disjointed' but that sensation is rapidly waning so I know that I will be back to the 'old John' very soon. I think I'll like that.
Now there was nothing wrong with the way things were before, per se, except that it wasn't for me. I'm glad I did what I did when I did it and I'll stand by that.
I just have to learn how to hear God better and then make the right moves instead of looking at everything that comes my way as the answer to what I need ...or want. I'm just too quick to jump. That lends itself to trust and trusting; two words so much alike and yet so different.
One can trust and not be trusting and one can be trusting and not trust.
...and after the holiday
...and
after the holiday?
after the holiday?
[Written last year]
I had a holiday scheduled but I'm working anyway.
The rigors of the job keep me going a lot more than I had anticipated when I
decided to go in this direction but I'm not complaining per se, I'm just
'reflecting ' on what 'was' the case.
Before Jack's Answer I didn't usually get up until around 11 AM to start my
day. I would get coffee, go to the computer and check emails, and then decide
on what I thought was a priority for the day.
Now I wake at 7:45 AM and call Jack. He gets me started with whatever is on his
mind that needs to happen or he has already informed me from the night before
of what we will be doing. I still call at 8 AM either way. It has been good for
me in that I have to get up at a certain time each day and I start much
earlier. Instead of working until 11 or 12 or 1 Am, I am done and on my way
home by about 7 or 8 PM. I put in about the same amount of time, just in a
slightly different time frame.
Working for the other guy has it's ups and downs as you all already know. I
didn't consider some of these differences when I signed on, but I realize what
they are just the same. I can't just pick and choose what I do now; there's a
pattern to it and there are also deadlines that I haven't had to accomplish in
someone else's time frame. It's much more difficult. But in hindsight, that's
been good for me. I know I can do it now, I had just never put myself in that
'place' before.
Aren't we all supposed to be servants anyway? Doesn't it point that out in the
Word? We are told to make ourselves available for whatever has to be done and
be thankful that we have something to do and then go do it.
My office is in a church for now. I see so many people come and go. Most don't
have a clue as to what they will be doing in the next thirty minutes much less
what they will be doing for the rest of their lives. Do they consider these
things? I don't know for sure but I don't think so. If they do they certainly
don't show it on the surface.
I really enjoy motivated people. They have an 'aire' about them. They can talk
in real, complete sentences and make real sense. But for the most, I usually
hear disjointed dialogue with relatively no point to it other than a mostly
confusing circumstancial occurance that they are experiencing at the time. It's
all based on a crisis of some sort and their hands are always extended in an
effort to relieve the 'pain'; as if it's a bad migraine and you8 have some
'magic pill' to give them. The sad part is that it really doesn't matter what
level of society I am observing as this unfolds before me. They all exhibit the
same innate traits. Confusion is a well established and seemingly incurable
disease these days. Or is it just the ignorance that seems incurable?
I marvel. I'm not that smart but I do know that there are real answers out
there; but without a higher power that can come in and rectify the situations
we're all lost and without hope. We rely on our own wisdom to get us out of
trouble and fall deeper into it. Ignorance, pure and simple ignorance. All we
have to do is read the Word and do it. "Just do it", isn't that what
the Nike guy says? Why is that so hard to understand? It should be easy but I
find that I have a tough time following those same, simple directions on a
daily basis and sometimes have to go back to the source and ask for more and
more help ...a lot of the time. Remember I said I'm not that smart? I'm not,
but I do know where to get help in time of need and I've stopped doing the same
thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We all know what
that equates to, don't we? Yep, it means you're nuts if you keep doing it!
Okay, I've ranted long enough. Back to the original topic.
I had a holiday planned but I'm working anyway.....
I had a holiday scheduled but I'm working anyway.
The rigors of the job keep me going a lot more than I had anticipated when I
decided to go in this direction but I'm not complaining per se, I'm just
'reflecting ' on what 'was' the case.
Before Jack's Answer I didn't usually get up until around 11 AM to start my
day. I would get coffee, go to the computer and check emails, and then decide
on what I thought was a priority for the day.
Now I wake at 7:45 AM and call Jack. He gets me started with whatever is on his
mind that needs to happen or he has already informed me from the night before
of what we will be doing. I still call at 8 AM either way. It has been good for
me in that I have to get up at a certain time each day and I start much
earlier. Instead of working until 11 or 12 or 1 Am, I am done and on my way
home by about 7 or 8 PM. I put in about the same amount of time, just in a
slightly different time frame.
Working for the other guy has it's ups and downs as you all already know. I
didn't consider some of these differences when I signed on, but I realize what
they are just the same. I can't just pick and choose what I do now; there's a
pattern to it and there are also deadlines that I haven't had to accomplish in
someone else's time frame. It's much more difficult. But in hindsight, that's
been good for me. I know I can do it now, I had just never put myself in that
'place' before.
Aren't we all supposed to be servants anyway? Doesn't it point that out in the
Word? We are told to make ourselves available for whatever has to be done and
be thankful that we have something to do and then go do it.
My office is in a church for now. I see so many people come and go. Most don't
have a clue as to what they will be doing in the next thirty minutes much less
what they will be doing for the rest of their lives. Do they consider these
things? I don't know for sure but I don't think so. If they do they certainly
don't show it on the surface.
I really enjoy motivated people. They have an 'aire' about them. They can talk
in real, complete sentences and make real sense. But for the most, I usually
hear disjointed dialogue with relatively no point to it other than a mostly
confusing circumstancial occurance that they are experiencing at the time. It's
all based on a crisis of some sort and their hands are always extended in an
effort to relieve the 'pain'; as if it's a bad migraine and you8 have some
'magic pill' to give them. The sad part is that it really doesn't matter what
level of society I am observing as this unfolds before me. They all exhibit the
same innate traits. Confusion is a well established and seemingly incurable
disease these days. Or is it just the ignorance that seems incurable?
I marvel. I'm not that smart but I do know that there are real answers out
there; but without a higher power that can come in and rectify the situations
we're all lost and without hope. We rely on our own wisdom to get us out of
trouble and fall deeper into it. Ignorance, pure and simple ignorance. All we
have to do is read the Word and do it. "Just do it", isn't that what
the Nike guy says? Why is that so hard to understand? It should be easy but I
find that I have a tough time following those same, simple directions on a
daily basis and sometimes have to go back to the source and ask for more and
more help ...a lot of the time. Remember I said I'm not that smart? I'm not,
but I do know where to get help in time of need and I've stopped doing the same
thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We all know what
that equates to, don't we? Yep, it means you're nuts if you keep doing it!
Okay, I've ranted long enough. Back to the original topic.
I had a holiday planned but I'm working anyway.....
Changes to the changes
How do you know when something is really changing?
Some things are evident while others are not. I see changes in my grandson but then I don't. It's like he is two or three people all rolled up in that one little body. I see one thing then another and then still another. He is so intricate and delicate, and at times. a real pain in the you know what! But how I love him. He brings me joy and laughter and yes, sadly enough, much sorrow. I wouldn't par5t6 with him for the world. I know I'm supposed to be and make a difference in his life. I only hope I don't do any harm along the way. God help me.
I have to go back to the 1950's and try so very hard to recall how I was feeling at that age. How was I acting and reacting and yes even wondering how everything fit together? I recall the prayer my Grandmother prayed over me in the back yard one summer night. Her ardent urging and staunch emotion still rings in my ears. Having died before I could apologize for all of the mean spirited things I said and did, I still feel the guilt of not being a better person for her to see and know before she passed. Pity that.
How very much harder it must be today. There are so many more choices and diversions and distractions.
It's a wonder the poor kid can even think straight.... if he does.
I think of what I had to go through and how I've turned out. It's a miracle of God. I should be dead twenty times over. But thank God for mercy, right? Where would we be without mercy? I can't leave out grace either. The two go hand in hand I suppose, but grace is so soothing and so welcome when it washes over me the way it does.
The hot summer days are upon us now and I have to be careful not to over do. I did over do last week. It has cost me a weeks wages and much pain and sleep. But I am better and looking for the end of the cycle that I have to go through to get back to where I was in the first place.
Changes.... how awful and how wonderful and how do we get through them like we do?
Some things are evident while others are not. I see changes in my grandson but then I don't. It's like he is two or three people all rolled up in that one little body. I see one thing then another and then still another. He is so intricate and delicate, and at times. a real pain in the you know what! But how I love him. He brings me joy and laughter and yes, sadly enough, much sorrow. I wouldn't par5t6 with him for the world. I know I'm supposed to be and make a difference in his life. I only hope I don't do any harm along the way. God help me.
I have to go back to the 1950's and try so very hard to recall how I was feeling at that age. How was I acting and reacting and yes even wondering how everything fit together? I recall the prayer my Grandmother prayed over me in the back yard one summer night. Her ardent urging and staunch emotion still rings in my ears. Having died before I could apologize for all of the mean spirited things I said and did, I still feel the guilt of not being a better person for her to see and know before she passed. Pity that.
How very much harder it must be today. There are so many more choices and diversions and distractions.
It's a wonder the poor kid can even think straight.... if he does.
I think of what I had to go through and how I've turned out. It's a miracle of God. I should be dead twenty times over. But thank God for mercy, right? Where would we be without mercy? I can't leave out grace either. The two go hand in hand I suppose, but grace is so soothing and so welcome when it washes over me the way it does.
The hot summer days are upon us now and I have to be careful not to over do. I did over do last week. It has cost me a weeks wages and much pain and sleep. But I am better and looking for the end of the cycle that I have to go through to get back to where I was in the first place.
Changes.... how awful and how wonderful and how do we get through them like we do?
Friday, July 13, 2012
ahh... the sweet smell of success....
I am basking in the coolness of my studio right now.
I came upstairs to find it well below the 90 degree mark it has been for the past few weeks and said a little "thank you Jesus" under my breath as I entered the room.
I have been concerned for the equipment. It has been close to 100 in here on several occasions and I just could not stay for more than a few minutes before having to leave.
I knew the Lord had a plan, I just didn't know when it would all come together and let me get back to work on what I have gotten behind on.
I am so spoiled. Every time I need something, God comes to my rescue. I know I don't deserve it but He just keeps on blessing me. I owe him so very much and I know I'll never be able to repay it.
I will, however, do my best to please him.
It's so sad that not everyone sees him as a friend and companion.
I talked to a man yesterday that thought God was always punishing him because he had done some bad things in the past and was trying to make up for it by doing good deeds.
After we talked for awhile I was able to share how much Jesus loves him and only wants to do good things for him, not "strike him down" all the time.
Too many people have a negative view of how God works.... they rarely seem to look at the good side and in reality, that's more prevalent than the bad side... by far.
At any rate, I did get to pray for my friend and now he wants to be baptized on Sunday.... Isn't that the coolest?
I came upstairs to find it well below the 90 degree mark it has been for the past few weeks and said a little "thank you Jesus" under my breath as I entered the room.
I have been concerned for the equipment. It has been close to 100 in here on several occasions and I just could not stay for more than a few minutes before having to leave.
I knew the Lord had a plan, I just didn't know when it would all come together and let me get back to work on what I have gotten behind on.
I am so spoiled. Every time I need something, God comes to my rescue. I know I don't deserve it but He just keeps on blessing me. I owe him so very much and I know I'll never be able to repay it.
I will, however, do my best to please him.
It's so sad that not everyone sees him as a friend and companion.
I talked to a man yesterday that thought God was always punishing him because he had done some bad things in the past and was trying to make up for it by doing good deeds.
After we talked for awhile I was able to share how much Jesus loves him and only wants to do good things for him, not "strike him down" all the time.
Too many people have a negative view of how God works.... they rarely seem to look at the good side and in reality, that's more prevalent than the bad side... by far.
At any rate, I did get to pray for my friend and now he wants to be baptized on Sunday.... Isn't that the coolest?
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
...the joy of finding out.
I finally got something to work that had been down for awhile. I had built a form for a website awhile back and it just wasn't working. No matter how hard I tried, the crazy thing just would work. After several exchanges with the Tech I was getting discouraged to say the least.
Then the moment came when I realized what I had been doing wrong. I hadn't read the instructions all the way through and I had 'supposed' when I should have been paying attention to the script.
I wrote a post yesterday describing how people don't concentrate when I'm trying to help them and here I was doing the exact same thing. How funny. I needed to take my own advice.
too hot....
The temps in the studio are reaching near the century mark each day. I have to come when the weather is cool so that I can work on the computers and not over heat them. The Ac has been out for over a month with no end in sight at this point. We are on our second compressor and it went down almost a week ago . The oil was spewing out of it and into the condenser outside.
I know God has a plan. I know that his wisdom is far beyond mine. I also know that I have to be in the right position for God to bless me with what I feel needs to be done in the studio at this point.
I have recently committed to a long term project but now the chances for it's completion or even it's beginning seem to be dwindling.
What does one do when presented with such overwhelming odds? Pray and believe. When things look the worst I have to opt for faith and trust. There is just no other way for me at this crossroad in my life.
Pray with me, if you will that all will be done in Jesus' name and according to his will and purpose for my life.
I know God has a plan. I know that his wisdom is far beyond mine. I also know that I have to be in the right position for God to bless me with what I feel needs to be done in the studio at this point.
I have recently committed to a long term project but now the chances for it's completion or even it's beginning seem to be dwindling.
What does one do when presented with such overwhelming odds? Pray and believe. When things look the worst I have to opt for faith and trust. There is just no other way for me at this crossroad in my life.
Pray with me, if you will that all will be done in Jesus' name and according to his will and purpose for my life.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
...it's how hot?
What a day. I am getting up early to beat the heat and still ending up in it. Go figure. The temps are scheduled for almost 100 every day for the next several days with no rain in sight. It looks like a repeat of last year. I pray not.
I am getting along with the studio remodel. I anticipate the finish to be within ten days now and am hoping for the dedication to happen on the 6th. I don't expect a big crowd because I'm not inviting one. I only want a few special people to be there. I don't want to sound selfish or prudish but at times like this I am really looking to the Lord to bless it and that's all that really matters to me anyway. No malice here, I do want everyone to enjoy what we are doing.
I pray that the cool breezes find you in good spirits and full of joy.
John
I am getting along with the studio remodel. I anticipate the finish to be within ten days now and am hoping for the dedication to happen on the 6th. I don't expect a big crowd because I'm not inviting one. I only want a few special people to be there. I don't want to sound selfish or prudish but at times like this I am really looking to the Lord to bless it and that's all that really matters to me anyway. No malice here, I do want everyone to enjoy what we are doing.
I pray that the cool breezes find you in good spirits and full of joy.
John
Saturday, June 23, 2012
... at long last
It has been quite some time but I am posting again. I have been working so much on the park that it seems to take every last bit of energy to do the physical tasks that it presents on a daily basis.
Having said that I am more determined than ever to keep the blog in existence and communicate on a much more frequent basis.
Life sets so many things in the way that it really involves a great deal of thought and planning to get things accomplished in a timely manner.
I have almost completed the painting phase of the studio update. I will set a time in the near future for the dedication ceremony and invite a select few to join me in rededicating it's work to the Lord. I have yearned to be in here playing and writing and producing and now at long last it seems to be on the horizon.
Pray with me, if you will, that I have more and more doors opened to me to do the work of the kingdom as time winds down to our Lord's coming back.
Blessings,
John
Having said that I am more determined than ever to keep the blog in existence and communicate on a much more frequent basis.
Life sets so many things in the way that it really involves a great deal of thought and planning to get things accomplished in a timely manner.
I have almost completed the painting phase of the studio update. I will set a time in the near future for the dedication ceremony and invite a select few to join me in rededicating it's work to the Lord. I have yearned to be in here playing and writing and producing and now at long last it seems to be on the horizon.
Pray with me, if you will, that I have more and more doors opened to me to do the work of the kingdom as time winds down to our Lord's coming back.
Blessings,
John
Saturday, May 5, 2012
... in the meantime.
An effort to complete a task often takes more than one try these days.
I spent most of the afternoon on a project the other day and realized that it used to take only a few minutes to finish that particular type of work; but that was a number of years ago.
I turned 63 recently and the overwhelming reality that I can't do as much as I used to is hard to take. I have been so active in the past that it became second nature to accomplish a lot of things in one day and not think much about it at all. Not now. I have to measure out the efforts now. I tire more easily and I don't process near a many thoughts and ideas as I used to.
Age is a relative term, I know, but I don't feel any older in my mind; just my body. The aches and pains are numerous and for the most part a constant issue. I awake with many of the same ones I had yesterday and even find that a few new ones have "joined the club" for whatever reason.
This brings me to yet another thought. What happens next?
I'm not looking to check out anytime soon but if I do I'll be alright with it. God is the time keeper for me.
I'm just going to do everything I can in the meantime.
I spent most of the afternoon on a project the other day and realized that it used to take only a few minutes to finish that particular type of work; but that was a number of years ago.
I turned 63 recently and the overwhelming reality that I can't do as much as I used to is hard to take. I have been so active in the past that it became second nature to accomplish a lot of things in one day and not think much about it at all. Not now. I have to measure out the efforts now. I tire more easily and I don't process near a many thoughts and ideas as I used to.
Age is a relative term, I know, but I don't feel any older in my mind; just my body. The aches and pains are numerous and for the most part a constant issue. I awake with many of the same ones I had yesterday and even find that a few new ones have "joined the club" for whatever reason.
This brings me to yet another thought. What happens next?
I'm not looking to check out anytime soon but if I do I'll be alright with it. God is the time keeper for me.
I'm just going to do everything I can in the meantime.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
...much too long
I have been away....
Away from the computers and the equipment and the noise and the hurry. It feels good to come back for a visit but I wont stay long. I like the feeling of getting away for a change.
Dianna and I have taken on a new job together. We are running a mobile home park for a couple that own property here in the OKC area. I like the changes of getting up early and actually doing physical labor for a change. I have been sitting for several years now and I really need the exercise. It has been good for my waistline, good for my mind and good for my pocketbook.
The websites just do not pay. I love doing them for everyone but it seems as though most people do not have the finances to keep them up and running the way they need, and for whatever reason, they just do not keep up with the things that make a website work to their advantage.
I have been doing some recording as well. My first love.... Music. I now look forward to the next project in that I will get to do some of the things I love so dearly and get paid for doing it. What a novel concept.
I apologize for my absence but I may take even more time away in the coming weeks. Don't give up on me. I will be writing as I go.... especially the Blog...
God bless each one of you.
John
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