Stagnant.

Nothing worse than feeling worn out inside and stagnant. The guilt alone kicks butt; both cheeks.

But I do look forward and not back. I think that is imperative today especially. Had a back and forth with a client about being 'sick and tired'. all he could say was how mistreated he had been and how everything had gone wrong and this and that. At first I felt sorry for him but the more he dragged it out, the less sympathy I could muster. I tried to encourage and exhort him but he only wanted to wallow in his self pity, so I let him. Sad to be him.

The people that bring on bad things in their lives by living in the negative are so unfortunate. I see people with major disabilities that have great courage and high spirits and it mesmerizes me. They exude a triumphant attitude and barely see the unimaginable hurt they have suffered. This guy was all but blaming God for his woes. He called himself, "God's test Dummy". How awful. I think deep down he is crying out for recognition and doesn't know that he can easily get it by being positive. He has great talents and does some amazing things with a camera, but his main objective is to point to his dilemma instead of the blessings. I will keep him on my prayer list and see how God helps him work these things out; if he 'listens'.

The rain has begun. How awesome is the sound of thunder in the distance and the rhythm of the raindrops on the metal rook of the deck outside. We have a concert every time it rains. The birds are first up with all the twittering and chirping; announcing the coming storm and then it grows silent as the clouds arrange themselves in the 'orchestra pit' and begin 'tuning up' before the impending concert. I sit very still and listen for the beginning melodies of the 'sprinkle section' and then the broad strings of the wind section that usher in the big guns. It's always amazing and never the same song; always brand new. How marvelous is our God. He always thrills His children with His majesty and innovation.

We have so much to look forward to. That's why I try so desperately to never look back. The past is a deep hole that can swallow you up before you know it and oh how hard it is to climb up and out of it. You're never the same after looking back. The mistakes are magnified and the successes are minimized.... nothing good ever comes from living in the past. Don't.

I'll stop for now and go listen to the 'concert' some more. Blessings