...and it did what?

The doctor casually walked up to us as I lay flat on my back in the recovery room.
"How's it goin' 'Doc"?, I asked as he turned to look at me.
"Well to tell you the truth, I don't really know", he answered with a curious look on his face. His foriegn accent was understandable, but he wasn't exactly making sense either.
"What do you mean?", Dianna answered in return. She had been waiting all day to hear what the Angiogram revealed and you could hear a slight edge in her tone that probably would have gone undetected had I not been there. After almost 30 years, I can read her pretty well.
"Well, as I said, I'm not quite sure... exactly. You see, I just have to tell you that what I found was really quite rare. I've never seen it before and I don't know that I've ever read about it happening before, so what we have here is .... well, as I said, it's rare..." His voice trailed off slightly, but I knew he was going to continue.
"I must tell you that the two stents that were put in 14 yers ago are completely blocked. That's right, both of them are 100% blocked.... no blood flow whatsoever through that artery to the left side of your heart, but... the funny thing about it is, you still have good blood flow on the left side because, for whatever reason the right side of your heart has actually built a system of blood vessels over to the left side so that both sides of your heart have good blood flow. Nature has done what I would call 'a bypass' of sorts, ...on its own... and the interesting thing about that is... it had to be done before the stents closed off or you would most likely have experienced another heart attack and you might have even died."
I was speechless. The full impact of what the doctor was telling us didn't sinkin right away; at least not to me anyway. I think Dianna realized it immediately, but I was still a bit groggy from the procedure and it just didn't penetrate... not for awhile anyway.
The next day, however, I sat up in bed and the thought came to me that I could still breath, see, smell, feel, ...all of the things most people do that are alive. 'Yep', I was still here.
No doubt about it, the Lord had spared me once again.
Although I'm pretty sore yet, I feel as though I could run a marathon... well, maybe around the house ...if I'm really careful.
Now I know more thoughts will come as the next few days come and go, but I do have to say one thing. I'm a very grateful person. I mean, there's probably not many of us that have a custom made heart, done by the great Physician himself.
I'm feelin kinda special right about now....

...I think my change melted in my pocket...

It's going to be 109 degrees today. The weather man said there isn't any chance of rain for maybe two weeks. I know there will be an end to it someday but until then I plan on 'hunkerin' down' in the cool as much as I can. This is ridiculous! I hear that this will go down as the hottest summer on record in Oklahoma. I can certainly believe that.
Di and I have been painting the outside of our son's house in the mornings from about 7:30 to 11:30 but not today. It was already 95 degrees at 9:30.
I long for the cool breezes of a Colordao spring. If I had my way, I'd be on a mountaintop in the Rockies right now; looking down on a valley somewhere near Colorado Springs.
I recall last summer. My Mom was sitting out on the patio at my sister's house, watching one of the neighborhood squirrels dancing along the top of the wooden fence. I had just come downstairs looking for my first cup of coffee when I noticed the nicest cloud drifting toward the house. It's white fluffy texture hinted at the moisture it held; ready to drop it ever so gently on our heads. I stood watching the cloud in anticipation and sure enough, it began to rain. The refreshing smell scurried in as Mom opened the door, escaping the downpour, and lingered still, after the door was shut.
I thought, "oh how wonderful."
Just now I'm thinking,"how wonderful it would be if one of those clouds were to show up here and cool us off a bit with its soothing liquid."
Maybe tomorrow...or the next day.

...and the heat just keeps on comin'

I awoke to the sound of a car on the driveway below. It wasn't the usual noise of rubber 'squishing' itself against the concrete and I wondered why I was being bothered so early in the morning and by who... or is that supposed to be 'whom'?
Anyway, I certainly didn't intend to get up that early.
I suppose you might say that I have become rather spoiled. For sometime now, the bedrooms where I have slept have been , for the most part, away from the street sounds that might impose themselves on my otherwise quiet and peaceful rest. And so , as I stood up and peered out, I realized that the bother had already made his or her way to the end of the drive and was long gone; leaving me standing there sleepily wondering why I had even gotten up in the first place. I should have known that I wouldn't have gotten a glimpse of the 'hot rodder' even if I had been at the window when they passed. Silly me.
I deftly retreated back onto the bed as quietly as I could trying my best not to wake my Di and promptly went right back to sleep.
Now you may be wondering..."Why is he telling me all of this?"
Well, isn't that the way of things? I mean, isn't it the little things that 'steal' our slumber? The small unimportant things that cause us to be awake for no good reason but always leave us without that portion of rest that might just make the difference the next day. Especially if you are rising at let's say, 5 Am of 5:30. If you're awakened at 2:45 and you have to get up at 5:30, you have broken your rest cycle and more often than not you never did get to what is called REM sleep; the most restful type of sleep; the sleep that refreshes and rejuvenates.
You know, I never realized that so much depends on how much sleep we get. Studies are long and varied on sleep and entail many different outcomes and medically classified 'isms' that are treated in various ways to remedy the 'ism' and get you back to sleeping better than ever.
I only bring this up because I spend an inordinate amount of time 'not sleeping'. For years I have been awake and then asleep and then awake again over and over, night after night. I don't know what they call it but I've got it. The occasional sleeper, that's me. I know there has to be a cure for it but God only knows how much it costs. I don't think I want to find out. After just one trip to the doctor a few weks ago I got a bill that will take me into the next millinium to pay so I'm not going looking for what's up with the no sleep thing.
Can you blame me? The medical profession has gone through the roof with it's costs. I have no earthly idea why it costs so much other than the fact that most of the people in the medical profession have to go to college for umpteen years and so they probably have to pay back all of those student loans. Go figure.
In summary, I just want to say, if you're needing a sure fire way to get to sleep... read this blog.

... it must be getting better

I woke up late again this morning. It seems as though I can't get out of bed before 9:30 or 10 in the morning anymore. My body says, "Leave me alone... I'm not through sleeping! Go away!"
I have a lot to do, especially since I'm changing over to a new Hosting company and all of the sites need to be worked on before the switch. The learning curve thing is again right in my face, which I love, but it's a process. I worked on my email set up for two hours yesterday with the tech guy and we finally got it to work. What a hassle. It seems like its always the smallest component that hangs up the machine. Attention to detail really pays off if you're even just a little knowledgeable about what you're doing.
I have a friend that's helping me with the computer repair and maintenance. He's a genius. I only wish that he had more time to spend here at the office. I believe that we could really make a good online company between the two of us.
I don't know about you, but the heat has been horrible here. Our temps are running well over 100 almost everyday and I heard last night on the news that this may surpass the 1940's heat wave that was so terribly bad. I wouldn't doubt it a bit.
The Bible says we are in for some really rough times here at the close of the age of the Gentiles. Everyone is speculating about the Stock Market and the economy and the world in general. Everytime I read something in Revelation it's like reading a current newspaper. I pray that you are ready for the Lord to come back.
I hope to bring everyone news of our change of address soon. We have been looking for a house closer to the church and I believe that God has just the right one picked out for us if we'll only be patient and let it come.
Enough for now. I'll post more about the online changes as they happen. Things are going to be so much better. I am excited about what is possible as I look at it from my simple perspective. Pray that I stay in the center of God's will on all of this. That is my prayer.

"...just a checkup"

I agreed to go see the doc for a"checkup". I hadn't really been feeling well for a couple of weeks and I could sense something wasn't right. I didn't really think that much about it until my chest kept hurting day after day for about three weeks in a row. That can't be good.
Anyway, as I said, I agreed to go to the neighborhood clinic for a checkup.
That was a big mistake.
Right away the guy in charge says that I need to go to the Emergency Room, "where they can get to the bottom of what's going on..." and of course Di agreed immediatrely and emphatically with his opinion.
Next stop Baptist Hospital.
I took a book to read, my little notebook for messages and reminders and my new journal that I had received on my birthday. I was prepared for a long wait and I wanted to make good use of my time. Not to be.
The first thing they do is usher me right in to the Triage area and start asking me a lot of questions and taking my temperature and looking at the color of my eyes and strapping a blood pressure cuff on my arm. You would have thought I was a gunshot victim in a 'B' movie from the way they went into action. I felt bad for the ten or more people that were sitting in the waiting area. I had no idea how long they had been there but from the looks of it, some of them had been there a long time.
Looking back, there was a bit of a bright spot in all of it. The young man on duty administering the heart tests was a Longhorn fan. He noticed my Texas Longhorn t-shirt right off and then commented on being a fan and we were instant buddies.
Everything else was a disaster.
Now, I'm thinking that once I get into the exam room the Doc is going to give me one good look and let me go. Not to be.
The next thing I know, I'm wearing the ever so lovely attire they issue those of us in this world that get to suffer great humilities. You know what I mean; the Backless Robe of Utter Embarassment.
Di tried everythng she knew to make things better for me but it just wasn't working. Once the Doc said, "I think we need to keep you overnight and run a few tests", it was all over for me. You would have thought that someone stole my ice cream! I was all set on leaving that pop stand and getting back to my recliner and the next "Criminal Minds" episode. Not to be.
The next day was a train wreck. A crazy lady they had hired to scare the hell out of everybody came to give me a ride to the testing room. At first I didn't think much about it until she almost ran over two or three people going down the hallway to the elevator. I fully expected to be pushed into an open elevator shaft at any moment but luckily the elevator was there when the door opened and we got in. She was humming something I thought I had heard before but wasn't sure. It may have been the theme song from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest but I couldn't be certain.
I spent the next 2 hours of my day in the room where they monitor your heart with a fancy X-ray machine. First they start out by telling you, "Just relax...this won't take long", and then they take f o r e v e r. Next they tell you , "... it doesn't hurt", and then they shoot you in the stomach with a needle... so much fun we're having here!
About that time my heart rate went up to about 100 miles an hour and I thought my head was going to explode right there on the table. Somehow they have it figured out so that it just gets you within and inch of your life so that it doesn't actually explode; you just wish it had.
After nearly two hours of really great fun like I just described they took me back to my room and dropped me off. The crazy lady must have been on her Meds break ( or chasing parked cars) because another lady ended up taking me back to my room.
I was told that I could have a cup of coffee when I left the testing area. "That will help stop your headache". Not to be.
I had eaten nothing since arriving the night before.
For the next 6 hours we waited for the doctor to come. Again, not to be.
About 6 PM the news came via the duty nurse that the Doc had mercifully decided to release me and let me go. Personally, I think they had found another victim they liked better and I was no longer any fun for them. Since my head didn't explode they were probably testing their pet theory on yet another unsuspecting wretch.
If anyone ever tells you, "oh, it's just a checkup", RUN!

...and the weight lifted

I was a little intimidated at the prospect of confronting my boss. His anger had increased over the last two or three weeks to the point that we were raising our vocices at each other on a regular basis over simple things that didn't amount to a hill of beans. However, in our viewpoints, the other person was dead wrong. Things had gotten worse in such a short time that I realiized I would have to make a change of one sort or another. I didn't like the expected results in eithe case.
I arrived at his room and knocked as I used the hidden key above the door to let myself in. I thought, "How awkward..", as I shut the door behind me and began looking for a place to sit. He had every chair filled with paperwork and notebooks and messages and I quickly surmised that I would have to clear a place if I was going to actusally sit down.
"John, we've got a lot of work to do before we can go into the mall and...." I listend to his opening statement and quickly broke in, interupting him; something he wasn't used to. It momentarily startled him and he stopped talking and looked up with a curious expression on his face.
"I just can't do this anymore, Boss. I love you and I hate to leave you in a lurch but I just can't take the way you talk to me at times."
At that point I expected a sudden burst of angry words directed toward my shortcomings or how much he had done for me and so forth but it didn't come. Instead, he just looked at me for a few short seconds and sighed a deep sigh as though he might have been expecting exactly what I had just said, but regretted it never the less.
The conversation went very well and lasted only a short time before I told himn I had to go. I was surprised at the calm way he took the news and even felt sorry for him; knowing that he was facing a much larger task without me to help him every day as I head for the past few months. He opened up more in that few minutes than he had in all the time I had known him. I was sorry that he hadn't been more forthcoming before. It may have made all the difference ion my decision to leave, but by that time it was too late to change my mind. My health was at stake now.
As I left I turned my phone off. It had been a constant tether and I used the symbolism to cut the ties so to speak and make a clean break of it. I knew I still had a lot to do before the job of quitting was actually complete, I just needed a litle space without any interuptions, Me time.
The days since have been quite calm. I even made a special trip to the mall to see him in action and take him a set of keys he needed to lock up the new kiosk. In reality, things are much better between us than before. He seems to have a subtle respect for my "personal space" that he didn't have before. Perhaps I should have done this a month or two before, but who can say? Things are as they are. I'm not looking for any set answers right now, just peace and calm and rest; yes, a lot of rest.
I'll be going to the doctor this afternoon. Something has happened inside. I can't put my finger on it but something has definitely changed and I thnk it would be better to find out than to speculate, so I've got an appointment.
Someone said, "The only constant in this life is change."

...waiting for the words

I am waiting on an answer. I have been promised one and I'm going to wait for it. I believe that answers do come. Sometimes it's not what I want to hear but the answer comes just the same. The Word says that all we have to do is ask and it 'shall be given' to us. If I believe in the Words that I read then I should be answered, right? That's the way of it. I don't believe that I have to do anything else to get an answer. It is supposed to come because I ask not because I do some ritual or some favor or some task. It just says "ask".
I'll post again when it comes.