I can't get my head around this....

The mass hysteria of the holidays has begun. I see the cars moving faster, darting in and out and acting more frantic in the shopping center parking lots. The shoppers have a quicker pace about them going to and from ther stores and scurry back and forth. No one seems to be at peace in this, 'the season of peace'. How sad.
I like to think back to a time of relative peace when the "Christmas season" started after Thanksgiving and ended on Christmas Day. People stopped to visit as they went about the Christmas shopping experience almost as though it was a great big party and everyone was invited and knew the other person; neighbors as it were even if they were strangers. It didn't have to snow or be all lit up with hundreds of sparkling lights. It was, well, "cozy".
The suspicions of the day have seperated us from each other. That and technology. So many are 'buried' in their screens, intent on whatever it is they are viewing and anythng elae is insignificant at best.
I recently watched part of a documentary on 13 year olds. I was amazed at what I saw. These young people have a totally divergent lifestyle. They 'live' on their phones. And to make matters worse, they ridicule each other on an almost constant basis. Now, to be clear, these youngsters don't reach outside of their 'group' to ridicule asnd slander and torment; they do it all within a tight circle of peers, tearing each apart in a terrible game of destruction. The examples were astounding. Trash talk and pornography, character assasination and deceitful language are the 'norm' for these young ones. How could this have happened to a whole generation of people? They are so disfunctional and self absorbed. What's going to happen ten years from now; twenty? I can't imagine the chaos as these people take up the leadership roles in government and social services and private companies that deal directly with the public. Seemingly, no one is addressing the issue in the schools for the most part. It's accepted as normal teen behavior. The parents are oblivious; engulfed in their own 'seperate' lives; texting....
I can't get my head around this.

... still so true

It's been so long. I haven't even thought to write anything here; even knowing I should. We have been involved with so many things of late that the writing has taken a hit. I know I should do better and I even have several thoughts to pass along that are already written down; it's just a time thing.

How often do we take stock? I mean really look at the value of a project or duty or better yet, commitments? Have we taken on too many things and the burden is weighing on us like a rock in our pocket that  just won't go away?

I'm happier than I have ever been. The world around me is much smaller right now and I think that's a good thing for me. I tend to stretch out too far and over extend, in an effort to cover all the bases when I know I can't. But don't we all?

Our lives have so many options these days. There are far too many choices. People say choices are a good thing but I disagree. When the world puts so many things in front of us that we get confused as to which one is which, then there are too many choices. That's all there is to it.

Now I've said it and I'll have to stick to it..... Ha!

I trust that all is well wherever you are tonight. I am appalled at the course of events in Paris. So many dead and for what? No good reason that's for sure.

I know I keep pointing to Revelations but it's so true, so real and so right on time! The words pounce on me as I read them. Here is the daily news written thousands of years ago and yet, it's current news and still prophetic, still coming on strong, still coming about.... still so true.

Lord, help me....

What happens to the time? I look up and its been another couple of months. How does the time get by so quickly.

We have so many things going on in our lives today. The weather factors in and the many tasks we line up for ourselves creates a never ending list of choices and duties and we just keep on keepin' on...

I have to get my mind off the financial. It has plagued me for far too long. That's not what really matters and I know it. Worry sure takes all the fun out of life, doesn't it? And it's a proven fact that worry is far to overrated and stressful to be of any value. 

I so admire my wife. She doesn't seem to let anything stress her out but me. I think I stress her out, but it isn't on purpose. She must really love me or something... I think that produces a certain amunt of stress in and of it's self. The love. The attention and the thought process of caring and wondering how someone is doing at any given moment in time. Our brains process and we 'conclude' and rethink and process all over again.
Funny how the brain works. How the mind runs over all the possibilities and makes judgements and decisions based on perceptions and feelinngs. We are truly amazing creatures indeed.

I am wondering how long it will be until the next post. Lord, help me remember.

enjoying the rain and studying something new.

I have really enjoyed the rain. Most people I know have been anxious for it to be over but I don't think they are remembering the years when we had nothing but heat to look forward to each day from May to September.
I've been in line at the grocery recently. Almost every time someone either in line or at the register had something to say about the weather. The tornadoes and the wind have scrambled neighborhoods all across the state leaving some homeless and in some cases severely injured. It's hard to watch the reports on television when they show the families standing alongside a ravaged home. I marvel at how blessed Dianna and I are, not having suffered any loss and yet being so close to the total devastation that took place only a short distance away. We could easily be right there with the worst of them,waiting on The Red Cross to bring us things like blankets and other necessities,having lost everything.
I have been studying a new course on Social Media this week. It is pretty extensive but I think that once I 'master' the material I should be in line for certification as a Social Media Strategist. Thus far the material is pretty easy to understand even though the teacher has a squeaky voice that is so irritating I want to scream by the end of the day. Each session is about 20 minutes long and she moves quickly from one area to another with the mouse and not necessarily pointing to what she is talking about. It's confusing sometimes but I am recording the videos so I can go back over them later as needed.
I'm certainly not used to 'studying' after all this time. It's been almost 50 years since I was in school so its taking a little getting used to, as it were, 'watching' the teacher go through her routine. She knows her stuff front and back but she doesn't explain herself very well, skipping back and forth at a pretty fast pace. I'll have to do some extra work if I'm to be proficient with each facet of the material. I can envision a lot better teaching method for things like this but its not my course so I'll just have to conform to her standard and make the best of it for now.
If it turns out as planned this will be a big step toward knowing how to get good results for clients on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Blogging, and other Social Media programs. We bought a Groupon for the course and I certainly don't want to waste the money, so I plan on passing the tests with good marks.
Look for major improvements on all my Social Media and hopefully, all of my clients.

...even if I don't 'get even'

I wanted to lash out in anger today but I held back. That's progress, right?
I was dissed in a round about way and ridiculed about my work. It hurt and I became angry; an old defense mechanism that kicks in.

How do we handle criticism? Are we to be silent or speak out? Are we to 'get even' or 'let it go'? Are we not human and vulnerable when attacked by our fellow humans, whose words often hurt more than blows? I wonder. The Bible tells us to 'be still' and let God fight our battles. I have a hard time with that one, as do most. We want to return evil for evil and retort in a way that makes us 'more than even'.
I am often saddened by my thoughts. I have such a vivid imagination anyway, it's not too much of a stretch to envision some drastic measures being carried out to 'get even'. I'll leave it at that and not explain further, but I suspect there are those of us out there that know some of the things I may be thinking.
What does 'getting even' really mean? Does that mean we do the same thing to an adversary or worse? Does that get us 'even' with them or do we always have to surpass their level of 'blow' to make an even heavier blow and overcome the enemy? Is that what people call "getting even"? I wonder.

At times like this I fret, I steam and fume inside and wish I didn't have to go through all of this, but here I am. Why doesn't everything just line up in a perfect row and let me go through my day with great joy and anticipation of what is coming next? Ideally, I would be king and all of my subjects would bow and scrape and make my life the pinnacle of success. Everyone would adore my music and my writings and I wouldn't be able to keep up with the demand.
Oh brother! What a disaster that would be. I am so far from perfection it isn't funny; not even humorous.
I better stick to repenting and going on my merry way and leave it at that. This whole forgiveness thing and not losing my joy is tough, I know, but I see the value in it; the reasoning, the end results. That's what makes it all worth trying even if I don't 'get even'.

....that speaks volumes...

The rain has gone away for a few days. We have all enjoyed a beautiful day under bright blue vistas decorated with small far away clouds high up in the sparkling sky. I love days like this.
I mowed some of 'my yards' earlier. They had gotten a little out of hand with all the moisture being so geneously applied, but I 'conquered' them in a little over two hours and made it back to the house in pretty good shape for once.
I usually end up having to take a nap when it's all over but not this time. I felt refreshed when I got out of the shower and eventually headed out for the studio to get ready for church.
It's aWednesday night service and we are studying Revelation right now. My expectations have changed after sitting through a few of the classes. I was thinking that it might be a little boring, having been through previous teachings on the same subject, but not so here. Brother Ray Libby is well versed on the subject and keeps us busy turning pages all through the Word in search of all kinds of verifications and insights about the various topics revealed in this powerful book.
I am learning alot and that's what makes it so great.
Often times the 'teacher' has a 'slant' on his or her subject and it always wears thin after a bit, leaving me with far less than expected and sometimes a there's even a disappointment attached to it for having attended. Not so here.
I am looking forward to what he has to offer. That speaks volumes....

....its what keeps us alive

Are we free? Do we have say over what we do or do not do? Can we do whatever we want without reservation? What is freedom anyway? Is it just a byword or a catch phrase or a public direction waiting to be activated by some unknown power?
It it flesh and blood, metal or plastic, wood, hay or stubble? What is freedom, really?
Where does freedom come from and how does it connect us and make us one? Is your freedom the same as my freedom or do you have more of it to use than I do or vice versa?
Are we in search of freedom or is it always with us, present and powerful and operating the way it is intended?
How do others see freedom? Do they keep it to themselves or do they pass it around 'freely' to one and all as they would a glass of water to a thirsty man? What constitutes real freedom? Is it just a mental state that can only be reached by and through the minds of the wise or the rich, or do the poor and the needy have access to freedom like the rest?
Why do we need freedom? Are we in danger of being held captive by some thought or deed or power that takes our freedom away from us and keeps it captive?
In what hour did freedom come and in what hour will it leave? Have we built a towering altar to freedom and shut the door to it's graces or have we flung wide the gates allowing all to enter that will so they may drink from the sweetness of it's depths?
Freedom will never leave on it's own, it will have to be taken; surrounded and conquered and led away in chains to some dark and dreary place that no one can find.
It is our duty to nourish freedom; build it and make it stronger than any oppression or oppressor.
We must take and keep our freedom like we do a good medicine, made for our benefit and sustenance. Its what keeps us alive.

...and eventually boldness

I keep having these dreams where I'm suddenly standing up and declaring the Word of the Lord very boldly to people in various public places.
 I just stand up and begin speaking as if 'on cue'. It's usually as a 'scene' in one of my dream is ending and there is some significant point to be made about what has just happened.
Its like being in a movie, an action movie.

I don't want to sound egotisical in all of this, but I have to say, the boldness is something I've never experienced outside of these dreams. It's a sureness and an energy and the words just flow out like a well rehearsed song and they have continuity and a specific message and its powerful and unmistakable. I know they aren't my words but His words surging forth with great strength and purpose.

It's very exciting and I don't want to wake up for fear of missng something.... but I do, and then I can't rememeber what I've said exactly and then I'm dissappointed.
It's like hearing the words to a new song almost all the way through in a dream and then not recalling any of the words when I wake up and get my pen and paper and get ready to write....

This has happened in the past. It was years ago when I was bringing the Word at the Jesus House on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but not as strong as it is now. The strength is intense and its almost as though it radiates and carries a surge of power with it, for a distance, and then it decays and goes away like a reveb.
I wouldn't think or talk about it this much if it had just happened once or twice. This is an ongoing occurrance; albeit, not every night.

How amazing is our Lord! He gives us these 'gifts' and 'surprizes' out of nowhere. I dont expect it. It just happens.
 I thought about keeping this to myself but what if it does manifest itself when I'm awake?This way I'll have a record of telling about it beforehand. Then it won't be as though I made it up and just wanted to be noticed.
That's not my heart at all. I only want what He wants for me. I only want His words in my mouth. I only want to do what He wants me to do. That's a given, but how do I handle this? Shouldn't I share this with others? I think so. Its imortant to share. Keeping things inside only leads to stagnation and depression and God knows I don't want to get depressed or stagnate.
I want to write and sing and see the beauty that is in creation and know that everyone around me can as well.
That's where our joy comes from. The inner joy that breeds security and confidence and eventually boldness.

Now that's power to the people, people...

It's been an eventful birthday.
I got over 50 facebook posts wishing me a 'Happy' today. How nice to be remembered by so many dear friends. I didn't have any idea  there would be that many.
Looking back on it, I think that there are too few rememberances of our celebrations and milestones. Everyone seems so busy; and to what end?

The weeks pass by so swiftly and yet nothng changes but the weather or where the next terrorist attack has taken place. Everything sounds the same anymore and tastes the same and feels the same. Variety has vacated the premises. It's all 'packaging'.
Watching the news is like watching a meandering river that keeps circling round to meet itself again, continuing on and on in a never ending cycle of 'sameness'. The news channels cover one story for days on end when there are far more newsworthy subjects 'begging' to be addressed. A single plane crash takes ten days to report, while a drone strike in the Middle East has taken out a group of top terrorist leaders, but never gets so much as a mention on the top networks. It's ludicrous. Reuters reports what goes on as the big television networks spend hour upon hour discussing what a man was thinking when he crashed a plane filled with innocent people. He was nuts people! What else can you say about it? Why beleager the point past reporting what you know about it instead of what you are speculating. Who wants to hear 'speculation' when you are looking for actual news?

I rememeber the 60's; when nothing was alike. Everything had to be different from everyone else's.... 'whatever'. Colors were fading in and out and then growing brighter again and then fading out again. It was like everything was  progressing into a rainbow of change, especially the thoughts and actions of the people. It didn't matter if you were a president or a pauper. The idea was to be different somehow and to accept the differences around you as part of what life was all about. We didn't try to 'bottle' everything up or 'package' it, we just looked for something to create that made life easier, and simpler and more peaceful and less stressful.

It's like stress is a necessity today. If you don't have stress, you create some, to be like everyone else around you so that you're not seen as 'different'. The norm has turned into a bad disco song that doesn't end, it just repeats and repeats and repeats.... I think we need a spiritual booster shot.

If everyone stopped everything they were doing for one day and just sat quietly listening for the Master's voice until it comes. It wouldn't take long. Just a bit of time with nothing on your mind but God and His purpose for your life.
That would solve a lot of the world's issues right there. A simple exchange between Creator and created, to get thngs back on track; running in the right direction at maximum power and productivity. Now that's power to the people, people...

...loving far outreaches the alternative

I'm another year older and I certainly feel it.
In fact, I spent most of the day yesterday on the couch. What a wimp!
No, this isn't going to be a gripe, I'm pleased that I got his far judging by the condition my condition is in.
It wasn't too long ago that I was questioning the possibilities, but here I am, still in one piece; still breathing.
There are so many in worse shape than I am. I marvel at some; the ones that never complain. They only issue words of comfort and encouragement even though the circumstances are far from bright. How I admire them with their stalwart personalities and strong convictions.
What with the 'climate' around the globe these days, it is easy to see how some might take exception to a favorable outlook on life. The news is often bleak and brimming with death and dire straits. Suffering is glamorized by polished reporters looking more like extras in a movie than news people. The ever increasing hatred that's growing day by day seems as though it may overtake the good that others do but I'm holding out for the positive. We can still change for the better if only we will try. Loving far outreaches the alternative.

I pray that it is so...

...how crazy things get sometimes...
I looked up and once again it had been way too long since I have written anything here. The more I try the less I seem to get accomplished. I do get things done, it just seems like its somewhere else.
Actually, I haven't written anywhere else but in the newspaper of late. I have had the opportuinity to do some articles for the Choctaw Times and I have thoroughly enjoyed doing them. The Editor is a great guy that gives me a lead and lets me take it from there. I want to get involved a bit to much in some of the subjects but Ryan (the Editor), pulls on the reins and I come back into line pretty easily.
There are so many things going on its hard to keep track. I completetly forgot to go to the Nursing Center today. I usually go once a month and sing, but I just spaced it out today and only remmbered it just as I was suppopsed to be there. Go figure.
I'll be 66 in a couple of weeks. It seems as though I am a lot older than that at times and then there are times when I feel like I'm 10. I want ice cream and cookies and a big bicycle to ride throught the park but I'm not gonna get the bike.
I find myself looking at Di more and more each day as well. She is such a soldier. I know how badly she hurts and still she keeps on going, day after day, never missing a beat. I only wish that there could be a way to ease her pain or even take it away all together. She most certainly doesn't deserve to have it this way, as much as she does for everyone.
When it gets still and the day has passed into another night, I think of all the hours spent working away at one thing or another. Has it been fruitful? Have I been doing what the Master wants me doing?
I pray that it is so,

...aren't we pretty close?

Time just seems to flow out of the hourglass like water. I look up and a month or more has gone by since I last posted anything here. How sad. Have I lost all sense of time? No. I just don't look at time the same way I did in the past. It's as though it doesn't exist anymore. Bare with me for a moment, please.There are just too many restrictions involved. It takes everything and twists it into a shape we're not familiar with and then it expects us to accept the obvious change without question. How quaint. Those of us that hate change really take a beating.... Time, the bully if you will.

I looked at my progress and saw lethargy. I have slowed to a crawl in too many areas. My completion rate is almost nill in comparison to three or even two years ago. I can't blame it it on age even though I would like to. It's inside. It's sitting there like a huge rock on front of the door of "doing something", keeping me from leaving the room called "idle".... and everyone knows I don't idle well... at least everyone that knows me...
The atmosphere has changed. The surroundings, the constants, the 'air pressure', everything. I can't recall any worse time. I dread watching the news and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to the light. It keeps swirling like a small tornado off in the distance from country to country without resolution; much like a bad chord in a song played at the end. You can't quite put your finger on what's causing all of these things and yet you know, down deep, exactly what it is ...and then the system shuts down and opens up the 'denial syndrome' like a new window on a computer screen. ....
"Oh, it's not as bad as all that.... is it? Yes, it is.

Thank God for grace. We have our redemption. The price has been paid, we just have to do our part and the puzzle will come together and the end will come. I will be so glad when it does.
I see far too much hurting and anger and pain and destruction around me. The only solace is the Lord.

I find comfort in him and in Dianna's arms. She has a comforting spirit that gives me peace and negates all the tensions that build up each day when I'm away from her. What a lightening rod. She can dispell all evil in one look; one touch. I keep reaching over to touch her as we sit together each night. It's as though I have a "Dianna deficientcy" and her touch restores the loss. I regain sanity when she hands me that bowl of ice cream and I can settle back in my chair like a big panda with a fresh bamboo shoot.

How much longer Lord? I don't want to see anybody miss out on heaven, but aren't we pretty close?

...those of us that seek....

Are we so caught up in our own worlds that we don't see what is going on right under our own noses?
The times are so evident, so plain, that I marvel at the ignorance of the masses.
"We like sheep have gone astray...."

I sat dumbfounded listening to the president's speech. His characterizaions were so skewed I wondered how he kept a straight face for so long. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was a carney selling me a bill of goods in a sideshow. The spinning retheric wound around and around mesmerizing some and sickening others.
We are so 'in trouble'. How can people continue to ignore his record; his blatant actions that are tearing at the basic fabric of our nation, like the wolf he is? If you look closely, you will see the holes in his stories so plainly that it boggles the mind to see the reactions of our 'leaders' as they glibely comment on the rise in his approval ratings as if it were a good thing. I certainly do not approve. I am greatly saddened by the general public's view of this charletain. How can they be so obtuse?

History will one day write the story and many will be incredulous to see what he has destroyed by his under handed tactics and deceptions. I say again; we are so 'in trouble'.
I thank God for his mercy and his longsuffering. We will have a lot to answer for in the fnal judgement but it seems that God is stil giving us time to 'turn about' and recover. Israel has been in this positin over and over again and God always came to their aid when they repented.
The things we did not do; cheifly, stopping this man when we could, will come back to haunt us for decades; if we last that long. We have most assuredly shortened our days by our actions or rather by our inactions. Either way we cannot stand much more of this type of leadership and example. Our enemies see it as plainly as we do but even more so. They see ways to subvert and circomvent the truth so that their agendas are supported and implemented instead of the right ways of doing things. There are no rules for them. They win at any cost and sadly, the cost is always paid for by those of us that seek right and truth and peace.