... if we stay focused on the Lord

It's finally come about.... "Trucker's Radio" is online.
We have worked so hard to get everything together and hear it for the first time. I am truly humbled by what God has done. He is so special. I can never thank him enough or be good enough to deserve this, but he has decided to grant us this tool and I'll not waste it by any means.
The market is wide open for us in this. There are just not that many stations that cater to truckers. We have a real opportunity here. We can  literally reach thousands if we do it right. This is the first of multiple stations we have in mind. We want to do a "Truckers Gospel Station next and a 50' & 60's station after that. The sky's the limit if we stay focused on the Lord.

... it's easy to see

I have been working on the radio station for about two weeks.
I can't recall ever having such a hard time getting something accomplished. The instructions are often vague and sometimes misleading and so I have become frustrated with the lack of progress thus far. I know that all things work together for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose, so I am trying to be a good servant and take it all like the "trooper" I'm supposed to be.
 I can hear a voice in the distance asking, "And how's that working out for you?" I have to answer, "Not well". I think I have become so spoiled that I need to  be 'tried' a little to get the edge back on the sword, so to speak. That is the case with me. I need to be taken out of my comfort zone every once in awhile or I stagnate. The brain cell get mushy and I yawn a lot.
The nice thing about all of this is that the process will come to an end at some point and I will be able to 'look back' on a learning experience and find the humor in it, I'm sure.
We have been approved for a house. It's a nice place with almost 5 acres; most of which has trees. We will be bringing Dad home from the Nursing Center soon in preparation for the move. He has been 'locked up' in that horrible place far too long. I will be glad to see him outside in his chair directing traffic from the deck. It should prove to be a wonderful place for the four of us.
The audio project is almost done and the book of poems is over halfway. With everything I have going on I wonder how I manage, but I do and that's what counts. The days are long but I am very pleased with what I am doing. I don't have to crawl under any trailers and that suits me just fine!
God is so good. I get to do what I love each day and that makes the dream come true job so enjoyable.
I certainly know how blessed I am right now; it's easy to see.

...even better perhaps

I'm looking at how beautiful the sun is this morning. God has painted a tremendous sunrise and warmed the landscape with his love and creativity.
I will leave for Texas in a few hours. We will be traveling to Mesquite to film my friend in his body building competition. After adding a few more locations shoots it will more or less complete the footage we need to build the documentary about his life. I think many people will be blessed by it once we finally complete the project. His story isn't unique, it's special. He has been through many of the things others have gone through; he has just done things a bit differently. Each of us is unique of course but often with very similar circumstances. My friend has taken many of the negatives and turned them around to work for the good. That is a learned trait; learned from the Father. God is always turning things around and pointing us in the right direction. Thank goodness for that, right?
I have a new computer! It is specifically for recording and for the radio project. We went through a couple of them before we finally reached our goal with this one. I bought one earlier from a friend that for lack of a better term, "ripped me off". I was disappointed because he has done so much for me in the past that has been helpful. I think he is getting worse now and really needs help. He is brilliant but sadly, he suffers from bipolar syndrome. That makes him unreliable when it comes to making deadlines and it has a tendency to make him very cynical and derisive. I pray that someone can reach him and show him how to get to Jesus. He is so crude, even though he is from a wealthy family.
I guess it doesn't matter whether or not you have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, if you are coarse and cruel, money has nothing to do with that.
I am enjoying the company of my new partner. He is giving and funny and caring. We did a little recording yesterday and had a ball with our radio character voices. I look forward to  many more sessions like that one; even better perhaps.

...I will surely need.

My day started off kind of early; for me anyway. I was going get up at 8 o'clock but the phone rang at 7:33. It always seems to ring just as I'm getting into a really good dream; you know the kind, where your win the lottery or you're able to fly.
It was nice going to breakfast that early in the morning for a change. Everyone around you seems to be busy and if you're a good eavesdropper like me, you find out what they're about to try to accomplish for the day. One is about to order something that you spray on cars, while another is going to weld something, and then there is always the busy executive type that want you to hear their conversation and so they try to speak over the rest of the people in the room so you can hear them.
Once we arrived at the church we dove right in. I set up the tracks while Richard tuned his guitar. By 1 PM, we had 13 songs in the can, and he was on his way back to Sapulpa. Not bad for a couple of old guys. I like it when I get a lot done in a short period of time; especially when there aren't very many mistakes to deal with.
I do however have my work cut out for me now. I'll do the guitars first, then the bass and whatever percussion I think is necessary. This will be pretty much a bare-bones project. I'll try to keep it as true to the acoustic sound that Richard has as possible. His unique style lends itself to simplicity. If I try to put too much on it, it will sound trashy.
I got a phone call from Jerry, while Dianna and I were at dinner. I like to take her to Napoli's every chance I get. He informed me that we have part of the funding for our radio stations. That was welcome news since we have been living on very little of late. I pray this is just the beginning of a great inflow of resources that we had been expecting. I have been asking the Lord what it is that he wants me to do, specifically and not generally. He never fails to answer our prayers, no matter how small or insignificant think they may be, he hears and responds.
I can see a small mountain work before me and I relish the challenge and look to the author and finisher of my faith for the help I will surely need.

… but why not

I found out today that I will be upgrading my recording software within the next couple of days.
It's been almost 15 years since we bought the computer that has the old recording software on it. And now that Microsoft has stopped supporting Windows XP, I know I'll be having some real issues unless I change the programming. It's a relief to know that it will be happening within the next few days because I know we have a lot of music to work on. The old system keeps crashing during recording sessions, and that makes it hard to concentrate and create.
There is a possibility that the radio station recording will begin pretty soon as well, and the new system will make it much easier to work. I look forward to writing new commercials and jingles and getting back into the radio atmosphere after so many years. I don't look forward to the selling but I do look forward to the production.
I feel a touch of spring fever this afternoon. Even after watching it snow this morning as I was driving westbound on I 40 still, I felt like taking off and going to the lake and doing nothing. With so much on our plate right now I don't really think I have time to do that, but it would be nice.
Our search for a new home has slowed significantly. I think the Lord is waiting to see if we will, he found faithful. He had me up in the middle of the night reading Philippians. I don't think I have ever read Philippians all the way through before. It's quite good; so many good verses.
I had been reading about the crucifixion in the Gospels. It's hard to get my head around just how dramatic the scenes were back then. The writing is so piercing and yet gentle. It draws you in and holds you. Even after countless readings and Bible studies and discussions, it's still fresh and real and alive.
I'm searching deeper now. My intention is to get to the crux of the matter and know the heart of the father like never before. I know it's more important now; the way things are has such a bearing on the future. I must be careful and picked the right words so that no one mistakes my motives or my actions.
I see so many people going in so many different directions in search of answers and finding none. The perception that so many people have regarding God and the Bible and Jesus is so off track and skewed. The answers are so simple if you just stop and read and think quietly without distraction. Television has ruined us. Everything comes at us in a flood of information, bombarding us like a spring downpour in our minds. I think it's a well used tactic. If we can be so easily distracted is no telling which direction we'll go. Satan can get the upper hand by presenting us with so many options in a short time, goading us into picking one as though we're stupid for being so slow to choose. That's how he gets us. He plays on our ego and wins more often than not.
All that time The Holy Spirit is standing by waiting like a gentleman, not wanting to intrude uninvited. How sad it is that we have free will. But God saw fit to make that one of our gifts. We could evolve and robots. What fun would that be? No creativity, no spontaneity, no laughter, no joy… no peace.
Forgive me I'm preaching again… but why not

...and playing and worshiping and playing….

I feel more like playing than I have in a while. I've been blessed with the choices of several guitars to play as well. That's always a plus.
I don't know exactly what it is but I think it has something to do with my walk with the Lord. He's been getting me up early, early in the mornings, taking me to the Gospels. I've been reading about the crucifixion, and all the circumstances around that momentous event. I wonder if we really know the whole story. I'm not doubting the Bible, mind you; it's just that there are so many opinions. I do agree that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and therefore infallible. It's man's take on the events that I question.
So many times our motives are colored by our objectives and circumstances and feelings. I can't tell you how many times I've been influenced by my anger or my sadness or yes, even my joy.
Somewhere, it is said that was unrecognizable after his beating. I've seen that before. I've seen people beat to a pulp. They were unrecognizable, but we all knew who they were.
I've experienced pain, many forms of pain, but I simply can't imagine what Jesus went through for us. And he did it, in spite of the fact so many of us still do not accept him, still do not believe.

It's time again for the Easter play at our church. The Music Director is picking out the music, writing, the play, seeing after all the costumes and doing her usual million jobs. I marvel at her endurance, knowing that its spirit driven mingled with love for one and all. I will get a break this year, having only to play and sing. What a blessing. I do like being in the play, but I won't miss it this year. I rather like the idea of just playing and worshiping and playing and worshiping and playing….

...for as long as we have left

I am more and more convinced that we do too many things.
I start out everyday with a list as long as your leg....( Mr. Jolly Green Giant).... and by 3 o'clock in the  afternoon I'm only part way down the first column. It's outrageous. Why do we pile things on like we do? There are a lot of fun things we can be doing but they always ends up on the end of the list and we never seem to get to them. If we do we're to tired to enjoy them.

I have so many 'kewl' friends. They encourage me and pray for me and I always seem to notice that they are really looking out for me in so many ways.  The blessings are all around me and yet I seldom take the time to 'smell the roses'....
I'm going to change. I've made up my little mind and yes, I'm going to change.
There aren't enough hours in the day as it is and so why am I spending them on things that won't be there when I'm gone? It just doesn't make any sense to me. I should be looking at the things that are going to last and pursuing them instead of the temporal, right? That's what the Word says. Look to the future and plan for what comes next.

My father in law may not make it through the night. He's up and down and more down than up. I look at his life and the over 91 years he has been around and what does he have to show for it? Not much.
He's a great guy, don't get me wrong. He's worked hard all of his life but right now he's lying on a hospital bed not knowing where he is or what's going on around him. I haven't seen him happy for the past 10 or more years now and let's face it, he's not long for this world.
What will he take with him into the next life? Nothing.
That, as we know is an impossibility. We brought nothing into this world and we certainly don't get to take anything with us when we go.
I went to a funeral Monday. There was a small group of people there to 'see him off'. I can't tell you how many funerals I have been to but they all have the same 'feel', the same atmosphere, the same sadness. The person isn't really there. It's just a body. The spirit has left. I don't see the point other than it gives the family a chance to be together; something we should already be taking care of each week.

So why take all this time to work, work, work.... unless .... it's going to last.

I have to do things that matter from here on out. I'm not far off from being in the same boat a Dad. I hope and pray that I won't suffer as he is suffering right now. He's got to be miserable. I do not want to be the kind of burden to people that causes them to feel the way I feel right now about how he's feeling. It's just not right.
And so, I leave you all with this. Let's look after each other the best we can. Let's love each other with a love that overlooks all the faults and negatives and let's do the things that really matter ...for as long as we have left.

… A lot of fun in the making

What is it about starting something new?I suppose it's like the thrill involved in not knowing what's in the package as you tear open the paper to see what's inside like a child at Christmas.

I met with Jerry over lunch, and we laid out the basic plan for the radio station sitting there at the truck stop. As I left, I thought "how appropriate" meeting there. There was a hint of diesel exhaust in the air as I got into the suburban to leave; truck stop perfume, if you will.
I thought about how much work this is going to be and it made me yawn. I ended up working on the business plan until about 1:30 in the morning, falling asleep in my chair.

Jerry seems to have done his homework on how to put the radio station together, but like anything else, there's always more to the story. I keep finding more and more details to go over, but there again, that's par for the course.
I spent the better part of the day working on the printed materials we will need to get started. Business cards and brochures will be the first line of attack after getting a website online.

I have a radio personality in mind that I'm hoping to use on a regular basis. It's a voice I've used on projects in the past for comedy relief. I'm hoping his personality comes off well enough on the air that it gains listeners because of his verbal antics. I've been looking at some Will Rogers quotations for material and they fit perfectly with the new character's attitude about life in general.

There are other things going on as well, but the radio station will have to take center stage for now; hopefully creating a good source of income.
I also have a film project that I'm working on that I have high hopes for. It's a documentary about a close friend. We've known each other for several years and I've grown to love him like a brother. We will travel to Texas in May for some of the final footage  and began assembling finished product shortly after that.
I'm really enjoying my time in the studio now. I take my time and plan and then execute the plan. No more rushing to "get done". I look back at my work with satisfaction knowing what it cost me and knowing what it's worth. It's no longer about how fast it can be done, or how efficiently, it's more about how I can incorporate quality into the effort and see a better result.
I've begun putting together a DVD presentation about One Lord Productions. Pastor had mentioned awhile back that it would be a good idea for everyone to see just how much we do up in the studio.you and you and really regard for Ryan and your you other drive you are low on radio he is in a you is a regular server will have 7 have long as 10 you will a you anywhere in a you is a break in the room you a ride you know that you and he where you are going to do long you that you will again) 1 TB drive to hear my operating system you a you will you is wrong with I made out a list of all the ministries that I've been working with since 1992. The list is up to 68 point which surprises me somewhat. I knew that I had been working with over 30 ministries one time, but I didn't realize just how many there were. I haven't quite figured out how I'll put it all together but it looks like a lot of fun in the making.

...in all the palaver

If you know something... it's part of you, part of the 'library' in your mind where you keep all the 'stuff'.

I began working on a project for a person that has a real gift, it's just not very well developed ...yet. They've been doing this 'gift' for some time now and evidently others have told them how 'glorious' their work is. But it's not. Any unbiased observer would immediately see 'the holes' in the gift and probably opt out on buying product for that very reason.
I really wanted to help them, so I did what I thought was best for the project and sent the first part back, for them to see what it would be like when completed.
By the response I got you would have thought that I shot their granny in the butt with a bb gun.

I won't be "helping out" for awhile.
I have come to the conclusion that it's better if I don't get too involved with a person's "baby". The riggers of reshaping another person's work is hard enough, given the fact that you have to keep the original idea intact. And having the honesty to 'critique' a work takes a strong stomach and even stronger nerves.
Like most, I have a hard time receiving criticism, whether good or bad. I like to get good reviews but I sometimes wonder if they are truly sincere or just being kind and then the second guessing begins. Insecurity takes over and I resent having to deal with it at all in the end.
It's much better if I don't know the person. That way I can more easily accept the news for whatever reason and go about my business non the less for wear. But if it's a friend, I worry over the words and play them back and forth in my mind over and over until I come to a conclusion one way or the other.
"Well, they probably meant it but...." I 'justify' and 'clarify' and 'signify'.... oh my, am I becoming obtuse?
I did have a point when I started out here, you know.
It just seemed to get lost ...in all the palaver....

....the reason for my efforts.

I've had my head in a book for almost a solid week. It's becoming a very personal work that I am closely editing. The author is an amazing lady from Hamilton, New Zealand named Toria.
She has Cerebral Palsy and she has written about a young woman that also has Cerebral Palsy. I think that people will be very impressed with it if I do my job well enough. Toria's insight into the life of the disabled is truly enlightening. Her writing gives us a unique view into her world, seeing it from inside the feelings, aspirations, frustrations and dreams of someone that has ample time to observe life in it's rarest form. One seldom gets the opportunity to "see" from the other side like this and that's the reason for my efforts.

......for another time

I found myself praying in the spirit on my way into town today. It seems as though each time I get into the Suburban lately, I am prompted to pray. There are so many things that need attention. For whatever reason I just have one or two things on my heart at one time. That's good because I have a hard time keeping up with too many things, so it's good to stay on target with one or two things and then move on to the others.
I seem to be more and more comfortable with my surroundings; specifically the financial realm. I have always had a hard time "not" worrying over money. I guess its because we have  had so little money these past few years that it 's as though I have to struggle to make ends meet. I really appreciate Dianna in this area of our lives. She has always paid the bills and does a superb job of it. I can't recall the last time we were late paying a particular bill. Somehow she always has a "stash" and the bill gets taken care of as needed.
That leaves me free to think about the  tasks at hand; the books, the music projects and so forth.
I am about to begin the book from New Zealand. I am really looking forward to it. I pray that it is sound and well thought out. If I can bring out the "life" of the words it should do well. That's been the central thought in my mind these past two weeks as I downloaded the chapters from the client's emails. She sounds so sweet. I was drawn to her in our initial contact. She just seemed like the kind of person I like to help the most. She has Spastic Cerebral Palsy and is confined to a wheelchair but that doesn't hold her back for a second. I like her 'spunk' and energy.
I'll post more on this as time goes by I'm sure.
For now I better get back to the battle and save some of this for another time.

...peace comes in the morning.

It's amazing how God moves things around in people's lives. I have been watching of late and it's really amazing to see how God does things. I try to figure out what is going to happen but almost without fail, things turn out differently than I expect.
For instance, I tried to buy a video card but it didn't go the way I thought it would. The purchase was made online but the company failed to say in the ad that it was a "store only item", meaning that it had to be picked up at the store to get that price. The store in question is in Georgia.
After cancelling the order it took three days to get the money back into my account so I could buy from another source.... for about $100 more. That certainly didn't turn out in my favor, but that's life. There are going to be those times that things don't go our way. But is is interesting to see how it unfolded and how it turned out from an observer's perspective.
In the meantime I learned that a pastor I have been working with bought the wrong version of a software program from a company. Their policy is that once you buy a downloadable product there is no refund or exchange even though we couldn't use it. The choices were vague on the screen and you had to be watching very closely to see the options for each of the 4 listed versions.
I wonder how this will turn out in the end. I am mentioning it now so I can follow how things go in the blog, updating everyone as it transpires instead of after the fact. as a sort of "bird's eye view".
How often do we run into occurrences that don't go the way we think? For me it's pretty often.
I am learning to "roll with the punches" so to speak on these issues but it's not comfortable.
Di's Dad has a house in Joplin. We thought that it was going to sell at one point and get him out from under a financial burden. We made a special trip to fix things from a list prepared by the real estate agent and came home expecting the house to close the following week. Not so. The buyer sent another list with about 15 or more additional things to be done. It was very discouraging. Again, things turned out differently than we expected.
Why is it that some people have smooth sailing while others have choppy seas to navigate? God only knows the answer on that one, but I do know that he rewards those that diligently seek him. That's my intention. I'm going to be looking for his hand in things and turn in his direction where safety and peace abide in abundance. It won't always be choppy seas.... as they say... "peace comes in the morning"

.... I so want this to happen

I had the coolest conversation with a new client today. She is in Hamilton, New Zealand, halfway around the globe from here.
We had a bit of a time getting Skype to work for us at first but once that was out of the way we spent about an hour getting acquainted. She is writing a book called The Chrysalis, that I will be editing for her and I am really excited to do it. It will be the first work for the new company One Lord Media Group and I want it to shine for us as well as for her. I put up the One Lord Media Group site a few weeks back , intending to make good use of the design I had for Springboard, a company that never got off the ground. I didn't think much about it at the time but within a week I had our first client!
I'm not getting very much to do it, but that's alright for now. I'll get better as time goes by and I can increase the wages along with the knowledge.

Our talk covered a lot of bases and with each one we were in agreement so I felt well pleased when we finally said goodbye, looking forward to our next 'hook up'. It would be so nice to make a living at this. I can actually make a difference if I apply everything correctly and not take forever to do everything.
I'll begin to tackle it sometime this next week and get back to everyone with the progress. Pray for me. I so want this to happen.

... in the near future

I am tired today. Yesterday was spent driving to and from Joplin with a three and a half hour marathon work detail squeezed into the middle.
Dianna got a call from the Realtor that Dad had a bid on his house in Joplin. That was good news in and of itself, but what we didn't want to hear was "the rest of the story", as Paul Harvey says.
It seems that here were a few 'details' that needed attention. The outside deck needed a coat of paint, the Kitchen faucet had to be replaced and we needed to add a drain to the pop off valve on the hot water heater. No biggy, right?
And so, we piled into the Suburban and made a mad dash to Joplin. We completed the work in just over three hours including a trip to Home Depot for supplies and headed for home.
The hardest part about the whole thing was finding a place to eat. We hadn't taken into consideration that it was Valentines Day when we got hungry, we just wanted a good meal. After stopping at about three or four restaurants and discovering the wait times ranged from one hour to over two hours, we decided to go on to Tulsa and try our luck there. We would be past the dinner hour by that time and the crowds should be subsiding by then .... right? We even tried calling ahead but that didn't pan out so we decided to hit Restaurant Row on 71st Street and just see what happens. Bingo! On the third try we ended up at El Chico's Mexican Restaurant enjoying a great meal and great service.
We pulled into the driveway just before midnight. The end of the trip brought us to two separate detours, which cost us about a half hour to navigate, but we made it.
I hope we don't have to do this again soon. It was okay, but, very tiring. I'm just not up for another road trip like this in the near future anyway.

...but then again ...maybe not

The cold weather has been quite bitter here. People all over the country are effected.

When I heard the forecast late last year that we were in for a colder Winter than usual, I had no idea it would be so severe.

I had an outside paint job that ordinarily takes about four days last almost three weeks. I had to wait several times for temperatures to get over 40 degrees to be able to apply paint. Thankfully I had a good client that let me off the hook for the touch up until better weather or I would still be waiting to get paid.

I know that things can be difficult to say the least. Life has become unpredictable and sometimes even dangerous.

I don't know how others make it in today's world, especially those that don't have the Lord in their lives to oivercome the bad things that occur. 

We have a neighbor that typifies my last statement. They have several children and they both work. But for whatever reason they are always in the 'hole'. Their rent is always late. They have breakdowns and  "accidents" and chaos more or less rules. They are nice people. They work hard and they love their children dearly, but nothing seems to go right for them. 

I sold the husband a van. He was supposed to pay me every two weeks and did for the first few payments until the Ball-joint went out on the interstate and someone stole the van before he could get it off of the highway and to a shop. The old saying comes to mind about being "snakebit". Now they are separated because of a drinking issue and I'll probably never see the rest of the money for the van.

That's alright. God knows best. I'll leave it up to him and see what happens. I tried to be a good neighbor and help them out. And I won't hold it against him for getting into a fix he had no control over. Life just does things to some people that I don't understand. It probably won't matter in the long run anyway, but it sure would be nice to at least know a little more than I do about all of this. But then again.... maybe not

... I would much rather go home

It has been days since my last post. I have been on the run and for good reason.
I met a pastor from Nigeria not too long ago and since then we have been working on getting his video department up and running. This will take full advantage of all the sermons he has done in the past and the ones he will do in the future.
I am hoping to get all of his editing. Toward that point I have upgraded my editing software and upon its arrival we will be in the Pro category! My old software is good, no doubt, but upgrading to the professional version allows me a much better format for the HD footage we are shooting.
There will be a learning curve, but that's good to. I need to be better equipped for what is to come. Having better tools means better results.
Another good event has been the addition of One Lord Media Group to the One Lord arsenal. We are now ready to publish books for ourselves and others. We have even secured our first book to edit, format and print. The author is in Hamilton, New Zealand, halfway around the world. I am excited to get her book because she has a good sense of what is going on in her writing and is also open to help with the edit points that have issues . Pray that we get a good manuscript as we work together and that it resonates with the readers once we go to print.

On a sadder note, I have to report that Dianna's Dad is not doing well. He had to go to the hospital a few days ago and is now in a health care facility. He can't get up on his own anymore and for a man that has been self sufficient all of his life, that is a real problem. I visited for a few minutes yesterday. Seeing all of the elderly walking up and down the halls is, for the most, depressing. The looks on their faces and the slow shuffle from place to place is difficult to watch. I can image their lives only a few short years ago. The vitality and energy is gone and now they seem a mere shell of what used to be.
I certainly do not look forward to that . I would much rather go home.

.....heaven forbid

I got an email from a friend. She got the news that her Blog has gone from 75 hits a day to 800.
Her entry into the new Steampunk rage has ignited the interest of thousands to her wonderful art.
If you haven't heard, Steampunk is a combination of fashion, machinery and art and history. I am totally impressed.
Not that it's for me, mind you, or ever would be, but it's the fact that I see the great attention to detail in all of it and marvel at the minds of the men and women involved. I just can't see myself in 1920's garb wearing a set of aviator goggles and knee boots while riding a bicycle with a huge front wheel.
I can totally relate to the tools and machines I see. They are ever so cleverly designed and made with great craftsmanship and highly functional to boot.
The clothes revert back to a day gone by that embellished everything. Nothing has been left idle. Everything lends itself to the polished and well designed. I find myself intently looking at the attention to detail and how different ones used modern things to look old but not worn out. Quite the opposite. Almost everything looks freshly made and expensive. When I see some of the designs I instantly think, "I want one!", but that in and of itself would make me a "Punker", wouldn't it?
Let me think about this a bit more. Have I been bitten by the "Steampunk Bug"? Heaven forbid.

...how many are crying....

The water was accumulating on my windshield as I waited for the engine to warm. I watched it trickle down the glass as though it had somewhere important to go.
I had watched the news while sipping my morning coffee and was glad to 'click it' off and head for the studio.
People are so strange. I don't know why the news channels pick what they do to air. With all the real news being stifled or just plain ignored, one would think that the moguls would want to entertain the public in much better ways.
I'm no analyst, but wouldn't it be much better to have uplifting, energy producing segments? The horrible gets front page and the good, peaceful, restorative gets back page or no page at all.
I look back on the times I watched the news with my grandparents. They faithfully watched the news every night; mostly for the weather. That's not to say that they weren't cognizant of the happenings around the town and state and nation. They were. It's just that they took a greater interest in what was going on around them; the things that mattered to them specifically.
Comments were made about hair styles and trends and who was 'in the news' at the time.
You could easily understand their opinion and point of view on any subject. If it was good, clean news it was alright. If it had even an ounce of the tawdry, decedent, or "Communist view" in it we immediately turned it off and got busy doing other things like homework or dishes. Needless to say, they were died in the wool Baptists with strict opinions based on their upbringing.
My how we have changed. If it looks back to another day most young people discard it immediately. We are too archaic and 'old fashioned' to hear them tell it. Sound familiar?
Yes, that seems to be the way of things today. If your parents are for it, it must be wrong or outdated.
Have we really gained anything over the years by not following our parents' example? I think not. I think we have suffered because we didn't follow some of those tried and true methods of succeeding.
I'll go even farther. We are going to suffer even more unless we get back to those 'core values' we were taught in the 50's and 60's by the stalwart, life educated people that were brave enough to speak out, even against tremendous odds.
More and more I see the beginning fall of our country.
We have elected a heathen to lead us and given him the front door keys to all the power. Everyday he sits in office means one more day he can subvert and con volute the truth. I may not be a very good citizen but I am informed. They haven't taken that away.... yet. We can all still 'see' and 'hear' and 'feel'. Well, maybe not all. Someone had to elect him.
I don't have to be in Washington to read what I see on the screen. You can't hide evil for very long. It will rear it's ugly head sooner or later and it's much later than most people think.
It may not be very much longer before people like me will be silenced for speaking their mind openly like this. I have to say it while I still can.
Read your Word. It's there. "Men's hearts will wax worse and worse...." and have.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. That is where our salvation lies. That is where our peace comes from. That is the way the truth and the life.... no man comes to the Father but by "Him".... Jesus, the Light of the world.
Yes, I watched the rain run down my windshield. It made me think of how many are crying...

...if that's even a word.

I waited all day for a certain person to arrive at the studio. Didn't happen. I'm still waiting. It's 7:51 PM. They are almost 8 hours late.
The communication throughout the day was more or less one sided.
"I'm hung up here.... give me a few more minutes and I'll be there."
The stop was supposedly only for a few minutes and then 'straight to the studio'.

I am  disappointed but not angry. That's a first for me. I usually get mad and raise my blood pressure several degrees past safe. However, I am looking at the person in a much different light. I won't be so easily taken in by their word next time and I will make a "plan B" for sure.
I did get a lot of work done today but not at all what I would have liked. I fully intended to do other things; things that would have changed a lot of what I do here each day.
My general workflow has me working on two or three computers at the same time, getting two or more jobs done in half the time it would normally take. So in the end I really did get a days work in instead of two.
For the past few years I have worked with over 30 ministries doing various projects with and for them; often doing two or more at a time. I started doing it that way when In got behind on a CD project while I was doing a recording project and rendering some video files on a third computer.
I literally wore out the 1/2 inch plywood decking I put under my chair in a month and rep;laced two of the wheels on my chair.
Oddly enough, I like the pace. It keeps my mind busy and I don't get distracted unless the phone rings too much and I have to stop what I'm doing to deal with the calls. The day zooms by and I see a lot of results in a short period of time.
But not today.
I had to deal with the new computer's idiosyncrasies so I stayed with one computer and rode out the storm. I look forward to getting the bugs out of it. It's built to run very fast but not lately. For some odd reason it is acting up and causing a huge slow down in progress.
And so here I sit, reasoning with my thoughts in an effort to keep my nerves calm and "unagitated"; if that's even a word.

From awhile back, reflecting

We as trees.
As a writer I consider myself much like a tree among many other trees in the forest. When you pare away the leaves you come to the branches. When you take away the branches you find the trunk or the body. Inside the body is the sap, the blood if you will, that brings life to the tree, creating the leaves, or the pages, for the rest of the world to see or read.
When ‘the blood is up’ the creative juices are flowing. The blood rises and generates the warmth of the thoughts that surge and push the life source outward to the edges, into the capillaries of the branches, the fingers and brain cells, feeding them, enhancing them, pulsing through them producing the leaves, the pages for all the rest of the forest to see, to read.
What makes my leaves better than the other leaves? What makes my pages more appealing? What is that entity in the sap that energizes the sap, the blood, that makes the leaf the way it is? There is no other leaf like that leaf. There is no other page like that page. What makes that page standout from the rest of the tree? What makes that leaf special?
I realize am not the creator. I never was; where once I considered myself the source, I now know that I am the creation, skillfully wrought. There is that spirit, that force within me that stirs and emboldens the life blood within my trunk. Cut me open and read my rings, my history if you will. What have I had to say all this time that is noteworthy? Am I just some woeful, plain elm with small veins in my leaves, that all look the same? Or am I a mighty Mulberry that grows tall and strong and bears sweet fruit in the end?
And will I stand as the winds of time blow strong and stiff against me, trying to uproot me from my place in the forest? Or will I bow low, bending to the course and sultry tormentor yet not breaking even though limbs are torn away and I am bloodied and beaten? How will I fare? Will I be sawn asunder by the public lumberjacks and cut up into some commercial cabinet to be put on display in some kitchen or used as firewood that cooks the meal?
How has the leaf grown? Has the fresh pollen, the experiences of the other leaves left anything of value for me to use? Am I not dependent on that pollen to grow and survive, unfurling in the breeze of life and riding on the winds of change with the rest of my contemporaries?
What place have I been given in the forest? Am I a prominent tree set upon the hilltop with long flowing limbs and portly trunk? Do the children play amongst my branches and seek safety within them when danger approaches and they are in need of refuge? Or have I been planted in the hedgerow amidst the thorns and thistle to be used as a climbing pole, covered over by the creeping vines of degradation and deceit; surely not.
 Nay, I want to stand tall and rise above my fellow ‘woodsmen’, reaching great heights. Not to be above the others mind you; just able to see what goes on around me without the encumbrances that so many other trees experience, being too close together to have their own opinion; looking the same and never progressing.
Oh yes, I feel the drama of the forest and would never make light of the fact that we are what we are, made in his likeness and skillfully, wondrously crafted and individually so. Just as there are no two fingerprints alike I see that there are no two leaves alike and I enjoy that reality ever so much.

...close by and looming

Di handed me a full page of printed material from an online friend.
It hit me right between the eyes. I wasn't expecting such a stern message more or less directed at me. It was as though it had been written for me and me alone.
I have read a lot of messages from people we know online and for the most part they have been very encouraging with exhortations meant to lift our spirits and cheer us on. This message challenged me in a way I haven't been challenged in a long time.
It more or less said, "It's all up to you." It put the ball directly in my court. Basically, it said that I could make or break my upcoming year according to my actions. I would either be successful or fail depending to how I reacted spiritually. That's strong; very strong.
It went on to say that if I don't "get right" with the Lord I wouldn't make it. Plain and simple, no beating around the bush, no pleading the case with a lot of slobbery dialogue, just a blunt declarative statement of the cold hard facts.
I received it. I actually believe that we are in the Last Days ...and if we are not careful we could lose our salvation by being too complacent and lazy and selfish. We have too much. The American life style has become extravagant and self serving. Too much of our daily life is built around our personal needs while too many others go without because they have too little. I'm not turning Communist here, it's just that I see how we waste so much of what we have and think very little about the future and what will or will not be available then. Is it just me, or do you see it too?
I've never been a doomsday person but from what I read in the Word and from what I hear and see going on all around me I get the distinct impression that we are a lot closer to the end of time than anyone realizes.

The Lord said he would come back like a thief in the night; when no one expects it. The stage is set for just that. Almost all the pieces are in place, as we speak, to make it happen and yet, too many of us are in the dark about it .
I have more urgency welling up in me than ever before. Do you feel it? It's like a huge, worldwide blanket descending on us, smothering the light so we don't see clearly.
If I'm not mistaken all that's left to come about is the 7 year treaty with Israel. Then the end.
Like I said, I'm not a doomsday person but I certainly get the distinct impression that something big is on the horizon; close by and looming.

... wasn't one I was pleased with.

I lost my temper today.
I have been hoping for a resolution to an issue at church but it wasn't forth coming and I 'lost it' for a minute. Not everyone saw it happen but several did, and for that I am sorry.

Why is it that after all these years I still can't control my temper? I have tried so very hard to do just that and still the "old John" surfaces with a vengeance, rearing his ugly head in a manner not conducive to good Christian behavior. Even if I am in the right I shouldn't have to bark at someone to express my opinion. I should be able to either keep my big mouth shut or say something .... in love ...that relates my 'concern' without the loud retorts. Drat!
I know some might be amused at this while others roll their eyes and think other thoughts, but this really bothers me. As I said, I have worked on this for many years.
My prayer partner and I addressed the issue tonight after service and I know that will be beneficial in the end, but what about the 'damage', if any, that I did?
Anger can destroy. It can override love. It can kill.
Yes, I have had deadly thoughts before. I know others do as well. I am so very glad that I haven't acted on them but still they were there. I could have. Only God's grace and mercy have kept me from hurting others in the past.
I don't believe I'm capable of any real actions of that nature now, but in times past... I was.

I have to thank God for changing my heart in many ways. And I also have to thank my beautiful wife for helping me become more loving and considerate and certainly more of a modern, real Christian. Oh, I know I'm not 'there' yet, but I'm on my way. I can write about it. I can share with others about it. I can overcome if I keep trying, and I will, you can depend on it.
The worst part about all of this is the aftermath. Waiting for the eventual outcome is tedious at best. I don't idle well, as most of you know. I am built for action not waiting.

I'm sure I'll write more on this topic in the future. I am taking my annual inventory.
Each year I look back at what has transpired over the course of the days and months that have gone by and try to make some sense of how well or how badly I have done in certain areas. Sometimes it's not a very pretty picture. In some areas I do okay..... this just wasn't one that I was pleased with.

...there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?

So, do ya think Santa's worn out yet?

The jolly ole fat man has got to be on a respirator right now. I have seen him everywhere you can imagine and I'm only one observer. Just try to think of how many other places he has been in the past two weeks and then multiply that by a dozen or more. 

I am forever amazed at all the ways we use Santa.

Why, I've seen Santa's on surfboards, Santa's in sports cars, Santa's robbing convenience stores, Santa's standing out in front of every store you can think of, and inside them as well, greeting all the little children, hoping they don't wet on their laps as they sit for hours listening to all the outlandish requests.

I even saw Santa on television taking requests for Ford pick ups and sedans from youngsters with a selfish, demanding spirit, thinking only of what they were trying to get. 

We spend millions on lights and are still in the dark when it comes to the real meaning of Christmas, but that's a topic for another day.

I play Santa at our church. I get a big kick out of seeing the look on the faces of the little ones that still wonder if he is real.The adoration is so evident and yet, there is a bit of a question on most of those faces. They have been presented with so much make believe and video imagery that they surely have to wonder, "Is he really real?".

And yet, I play the part as best I can and "Ho, ho, ho" all day to keep them entertained.

But wouldn't it be nice to give the ole fat man a rest? He has been so overly used that I marvel at the longevity of his character.

We should all take his place. We wouldn't even have to wear a red suit or a scratchy wig and fake beard. We could just be ourselves and go around cheering everyone up with our smiles and our little gifts that mean so much when given in person. We could share the responsibilities of who furnishes food and who gets all the presents together; some do one thing and some do the other, that way it wouldn't all fall on one person's shoulders like it does Santa.

The television stations would have more stories than they could show and more people than ever would get help because there are so many more of us than there are Santas....right?

...what little there is of it.

I wrote a song entitled "Had A Friend" a number of years back. It laments the friendship gone wrong and waxes poetic if not a little political. The friend had done a few things that jeopardized our friendship but I really wanted to keep the friendship going anyway. Friends should overlook certain behaviors, right? The relationship cratered anyway.

Now I find myself in somewhat the same predicament and dreading the outcome as much as I did back then.

an appropriate Scripture comes to mind which reads, "Am I your enemy because I tell you the truth?"

We have to stand up for what we feel is right; otherwise chaos rules.

I am certainly no angel, nor am I saint. And yes, I have done some terrible things in the past, for which I will have to answer I'm sure, but still, I anguish over friendships gone awry.

I have never been one to make a lot of friends. I know a lot of people and for the most part, they are good and decent individuals with good hearts and minds and good values. But there are the few that boggle the mind with their games and 'plays' and subterfuges. 

I still love them, don't get me wrong, but still I have to stand up for, or stand aside because of ...to keep that peace, that marvelous peace; what little there is of it.

....if you get the time

I made another trip to Lawton this morning.

Jack had to pick up some Jack's Answer and we also  needed to film the factory for his upcoming 'infomercial'.

I have  never done a commercial like this before; actually filming and editing from start to finish.

The ideas have been swarming around inside my little brain for a few days but I still don't have the inspiration for how I want top approach it. What angle will do the most good for Jack.

He works so hard. I don't believe that I have ever known anyone that works like Jack  does.

He gets up some mornings at 4 or 5 o'clock and goes all day "selling". I wouldn't be surprised if he talks in his sleep.

I had asked him about his book. He more or less sluffs it off and says he does n't have time to do  it but he really  needs to get it down on paper. At least that way he would have a record of his life. He has done some amazing things.

At one time he owned the world's largest Emu herd. That in and of itself is amazing. The use of Emu oil has grown by leaps and bounds in the past ten or so years. Scientists are just now finding out some of the miraculous effects of this old world product. The Chinese have used Emu oil for centuries.

In just got off the phone with an old friend from Colorado. He calls from time to time and we badger each other back and forth. I always know it's him because he starts off the conversation with the Navy fight song and I counter with the Marine Corps Hymn. He really loves the Lord. We talk about what he is seeing in the lives of those around him and what he reads in the Word that is so telling in regard to present times. I can always depend on him to encourage and edify while we are on the line together.

It really is a blessing to have strong Christian friends. You just never know when you might need 'lifting up' or when you might need to be "the encourager" instead of the "encouragee".

I picked up another website.

It is called "Angel Links.org". The lady that runs the Foundation is from Ghana. They work with people there providing much needed mosquito netting. The Malaria rate is very high in Ghana and the nets actually save lives. Isn't it funny how something as simple as a mosquito net can be the difference between life and death? Another area Angel Links Foundation covers is Breast Cancer awareness and Mammograms for women with little or no income in need of the service. I'l know a lot more about them once I get the site up and running. Take a look if you get the time....

...keep my ear to the ground ....

The sun is shining and the wind has gone somewhere else to blow. What a near perfect day it is outside.
I could lean back and take a nap right now but there is just too much to do.

Mean Streets Ministry has taken off with a bang. That pleases me very much. I can't get over the response we get from people we have never met before. They seem to act as though we have been friends for years. I like that. I have rarely ever meet a stranger anyway, but this is going to be easy to get used to.
I stopped to eat at a local restaurant and the waitress asked me if I was a veteran. I had on a camo shirt from Desert Storm someone gave me a week or so back.
"Yes", I replied, "I was in the Marine Corps."
A guy from across the room shouted out, "Semper Fi, Man!"
I was elated. We spoke for a few minutes and he ended up getting a CD after giving us a small donation. He had on a biker outfit and is interested in helping us do a 'Poker Run' next Spring.
I'll explain a Poker Run another time.

I am truly hopeful this turns into a full time job for me. I know I can help a lot of people if we have the funds to keep everything going the way we have it set up.
Everything takes money. I hate that. It would be so nice if all we had to do was gather up what we need from the "storeroom" and head out for the streets. I anticipate that day arriving in the near future though. God knows what we need before we even ask for it so I expect to see the supplies arriving in the near future; including an office with a warehouse area.
For now, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing and keep my ear to the ground for what's next.

...a work worthy day

The day has gone by so fast I didn't realize that it was already dark outside.
I have been getting ready for the outreach tomorrow. A group from Tinker Air Force Base is going to bring donations of clothing and health care items to OKC Compassion and distribute them to the people living there.
I hadn't been to OKC Compassion in awhile. They lost their building and kitchen and had to move the offices into a house. I knew about the situation from several of my contacts downtown but I don't know the full scope of what is actually going on there. They do such good work, with a few exceptions of course. There are always "the exceptions" in any program, I just hope for the best and go on with what I feel the Lord would have me do, right?

I spent a few hours on artwork and forms today. We didn't have a donation form for Mean Streets yet, so I made that my first priority when I arrived. After about an hour I had both donation and invoice forms ready to go.
I also designed a plaque for the "Scratch Tracks" album and made it into a stand alone sign we can leave with stores and organizations that are selling it for us.
I will load some CD cases in a few minutes and then head for the house. Di has her Thursday Prayer meeting going as we speak. I'll try to time my arrival for just after they all go home.
All in all a work worthy day.

...how he's doing.

I am looking for the best way to help my friend. I have determined that it would help a lot if I can get him out of his 'comfort zone' where he hides on a regular basis with his dog. His trailer is a shambles but that comes with the territory, so to speak when someone is on a binge.
I knocked on the door this morning and woke him. It was almost noon. He hadn't answered his phone all morning and sure enough, he was still asleep on the couch where I left him last night at about  9:30.
I had gone over to try and help him get online on his new laptop, but I was unsuccessful.
I really need more experience with these new phones. I tried to hook up with his WiFi connection on his iPhone.

The fifth he had been working on wasn't down as much today as was yesterday. It looks as though he had indeed cut down on his consumption.
I left with the thought of returning later. I have a small project in mind that will get him out of the house for a while and perhaps give him some inspiration. He just needs a 'nudge', I hope....
I will report later on how I'm doing, or better yet, ...how he's doing.

...it's yours too

Are we making a difference? A difference that people see and feel and relate to?

I knocked on the door and my friend answered by saying, "Come in!"

I could tell he had been drinking ... a lot. He lay sprawled out on the couch with a blanket barely covering his torso. There was trash on the floor in the corner where it looked as though he had been practicing his "free throw" abilities for the past few days in a row. It was evident that he was no Thunder prospect. 

His unshaven appearance gave me a good idea as to how long he had been 'off the wagon' this time.

I had seen him in bad shape like this before but at least it wasn't the very bottom of the barrel.

"How's it goin'?", I asked, trying to find a way to start the conversation on a positive note.

"Oh, you know....", he answered and sat up. "I've been better...."

"I have to go to the studio for awhile. You wanna go? We could work on a website for your project for awhile and maybe get some lunch after that? How 'bout it?"

I knew he would be better off getting out for awhile; away from the dreary surroundings he had created during his current drinking spree.

"Sure... just give me a little time to get up and around and...."

"And a cup of coffee and a shower?"

"Yeah, that 's a good thought... I could use a shower too...", he said as if he hadn't heard me say what  did. That told me he was still 'under the influence' to some degree.

If we don't go... who will? If we ignore the ones around us that are in trouble they will perish and that's no exaggeration. I've seen it first hand. 

The thing is ...it only takes a few minutes of our time to go; often less than an hour in most cases.

 

I know you know someone that needs some personal attention.

They may not be in bad shape like my friend. They may live in seclusion with no one to talk to and no one checking on how they are doing. You can do it. I can do it. What if you were the one in trouble?

We have been so blessed; my family and I. After all this time and all the turmoil, God has watched over us and blessed time and time again. It's my duty to give back. It's yours too.

... if you only will

I greatly desire the answer to one of life's most sought after questions.
Who in the heck invented computers? Why do I want to know, you ask? I would like to wring his neck.
I think it's an evil plot put into place by this maniacal computer inventing creature, for the express reason of blowing everybody's mind like an old tire on a bad road!
They never work right. They always have to have someone who is smarter than you fix 'em and that makes you feel like a dummy because you don't have any idea how the darn thing works in the first place when all you wanted was an easier way to do your work and , well... I hate 'em. They breakdown right before you get your work done and just sit there with that little blue circle  ...spinning... and spinning ... and spinning. It's like they know you really need that report finished by 5 o'clock and it's 4:50 and the little circle is still spinning ... and  spinning and.... well, you know.
It's a good thing I don't carry a gun.
 I went in to change a few simple things on one of my websites. Do you think that computer cares if I work all day or not? NO! It doesn't care one bit. I could be on it for days on end and it wouldn't care one iota how much data or graphics or audio I enter into that gazillion Mega Byte hard drive it has to have to store everything it has to store, "So it can run like it's supposed to run".
(I think the tech's are in on it too.)

I think it would just keep right on ticking like a well oiled clock if I don't have a deadline or something else to do besides "feed it". My life's of no importance, it's the computer that deserves all the credit and attention, right? Oh yes, it will run fine until I get ready to go home and then it turns on me like a giant Raptor in a dinosaur movie. It somehow senses that moment that I am about to finish up for the day and go home to a life of peace and tranquility ... and dinner.
I only have one more period on the end of the very last sentence and... you've got it ... it suddenly stops .... pauses for about 6 or 7 seconds, as if it is thinking, "How can I exasperate him the most?", and then  .... spinning.... just spinning.... It knew all along I just had one more period to type  ...and yet.... spinning.... just spinning ....
Is there no mercy in this world? Are there no answers to these drastic times? Have I gone too far?

Yes... I'm over the edge aren't I? ... It's too late for me ...  but you can save yourself.... if you only will.

....which way will it be?

I'm torn between two choices on which direction to take. The decision I make means taking a real stand on the issues I hold dear and probably can't be reversed. The cost is high either way and has to do with integrity and honesty and all the other things that go with those traits of the human existence I so highly value.
I've made so many mistakes in the past. I can look back, with many regrets and see fewer victories than defeats, but I have never shrank from the blame or consequences of my actions. This too will be the same.
I do know that I have let people down in the past and have never recovered their trust. That is what plagues me the most I suppose; not being able to regain lost ground as I burned those bridges. I pray that this will not be the case.

This time it's quite different. Before, I was alone and had only myself to consider. Now I have to face the results of my decision along with my wife and family. How will they look at me or judge me or love me if I let them down? That would be something I don't know that I could bear.
My heart cries and yet, I feel a kind of resolve in what I do. Looking at one's 'self' in the mirror of life's reality isn't easy. Truth isn't glamorous it's just the truth.

I know many of you have been here as well. You too have looked at what others would think or do as you tuned one way or the other, deciding which road to take; ultimately having to live with that weighty decision forever.
Now it's my turn, ...which way will it be?

... we shall see

I didn't think I would get out today. The weather has turned nasty. I looked out the window to see cars sliding along on the icy road out front and dreaded the idea of being on the road in the cold... but I needed to get the last song finished up on the Scratch Tracks Project.
I should have them ready for distribution by the end of the week.
I'm not sure it's the way I want it just yet, but I think the idea of "Scratch Tracks" is what we want to portray. Nothing fancy or over produced. Just some good music for people to enjoy.
I'll do a cleaner project in the coming weeks when I have a little more time to concentrate on the sounds and instruments I want on the "Inspired" project. That one should be the better of the two by far.
I'm burning copies of "Scratch Tracks" as we speak. The artwork is complete and I have the cases on hand as well. They came in Friday afternoon just as the cold front landed on our doorstep.
The Printer usually takes about three days to get their part done and it will take me about 4 hours to load and shrink wrap the cases once the discs and inserts are put together.
I pray that they sell out fast.
We need the funding to get started on the Mean Streets Ministry project.
We need an office the most. I'm hoping Leroy's church steps up and makes that happen. I was told that they have a pretty good size building in back of the church that serves as classrooms and storage. That  might be just the thing for us to start out with and grow from there.
Feeling the wind on my neck today really reminds me of what our homeless ones are experiencing right now. They have to navigate in weather like this to get to the various feeding programs that are available in the downtown area. I pray that God allows us to open soon. If we can get everyone on the same page it shouldn't take a very long time to set up some sort of triage area and food distribution so they can have what they need on hand when they really need it.
I often think of Sister Ruth and Sister Betty. They started out in their apartment and grew to be the mainstay in only a few years. I wonder what God has in mind for us?
....we shall see.

.."takin' it to the streets!"

When Winter decides to  arrive there is no stopping it. I went outside in the morning and it was about 65 degrees. The next time I went outdoors it was 30 degrees at sundown.

I have felt a drop in energy of late.
That's not like me. I usually have a pretty good attitude and work ethic. I suppose it has to do with priorities. The work has been slow but steady, but I really haven't enjoyed it very much.
I had other things on my mind and needed to make a choice between what to do and not to do. I know you have been there, right? It wasn't as though I could just flip a coin and go on about my business. This time it is serious enough to stop all the wheels and 'simmer'.
The choice was pretty easy once I looked at it from a proper perspective.
I chose helping a friend get a new ministry started.
His emphasis is on Veterans and more particularly, Homeless Vets.
Everyone knows how close to the heart that topic hits me. I have worked with homeless Vets since 1987; much of which was done on the streets in some of the worst conditions imaginable.

Vets have a way about them, especially homeless ones. They are stubborn and hardy and not prone to complaining about very much, except the food. They love their food.
Vets can stay outside in freezing cold for hours on end, walk for miles, stay a few minutes and walk back. They don't think that much about it because they do it everyday.
I have always considered myself pretty fit. I used to do the exercise thing all the time. I was always one of the first ones to arrive 'at the finish line' during company runs while in the service. I had a strong will and a strong body and only suffered from weaknesses of the mind. I loved chocolate ...and lemon pie ...and a good stiff shot (or two) of Tequila.
But in all fairness I have to say, Vets are tough. They can take a punch and keep right on going; whether in the gut or in the heart.
Not many men can survive on the street. You have to be a special breed to accomplish that feat, believe me.
As I was saying, I am helping a friend start "Mean Streets Ministry". Our goal is to acquire a property somewhere in the Oklahoma City area to house homeless Vets and help them get their lives back in order.
I have a pretty good game plan in mind and with a little help I think we can pull this off. I have had over 20 years to think about this and it looks as though the opportunity may present itself. I haven't been laying around with nothing to do and nothing on my mind. I really have thought long and hard on what would work. Now I may get the chance to put some of these theories into action.
We plan on rolling out the program as soon as we can establish an office of some sort where people can come to add much needed input and resources and funding.
The funding will be a major factor in what we can accomplish at first, but I can already see the hearts of the people in my little circle and if that's any indicator, we'll be fine.
I met a Vet the other day that is already a successful businessman in his own right. His input will be invaluable. The ones that are well will be the key to reaching the ones that are in trouble and in need of saving.
This will truly be a team effort so get ready to join the team.
Pray for us as we get busy ...."takin' it to the streets!"

... they'll kill you as you sit

The growing season has ended. Harvest is all around us and I see the stores gearing up for all the holiday traffic. Decorations are going up as I write this note to all of you.
'Just another holiday', you say?
Not so.
How can we continue to support the things that tear down our beliefs? We support them by our silence.They are all around us, invading everything we do. A person can no longer watch a family program on television without commercials that promote things like condoms and sex toys and homosexual dating sites. It's both sad and frustrating.

How can we properly raise our children in such an environment? They go off to school with high ideals and goals that reach to lofty heights and come home with demonic assignments issued by liberal teachers with agendas totally opposite our Christ based belief system. The odds are against us big time.
If we don't begin to counter attack in some fashion we have lost before we start.
I saw a petition today. It is soliciting signatures of people that want to promote the use of Jesus' name in public. Laws are in place right now that ban the use of Jesus name in public speeches and prayers. That is totally counter to the way our Constitution reads.
The Constitution specifically states that we have the right to "worship freely", without hindrance. It does not say that there is a "separation of church and state" any where in the Bill of Rights. Why then do we not speak up about this? I don't understand today's Christians; the 'Silent Majority' as we call them. How can we not speak to this? This is not a radical idea, it is a right, mandated by laws put into place in the beginning. That's why people came to America in the first place; to be free to worship in their own way.
Take a stand or they'll kill you as you sit

...by the moment

I worked on some video clips today. Jack had been to the Fair Grounds in Stillwater selling Jack's Answer. While he was there he filmed some testimonies about the effectiveness of  his new product. We had also done some a year or more ago, putting them on his website. Sadly the new ones are poorly done with poor sound. I should have been there to help him do them. He had his stepson helping and he doesn't know anything about filming. I put a few of them together but I really hope he replaces them pretty soon. In my opinion they won't help him much.
I am gearing up to do a documentary on the homeless. I have wanted to do one for sometime and now that I have a proper camera I believe that I can get what I want if I do it right. There are many good places to shoot, but it will take some time and I don't have a budget in the bank to work with presently. An old friend is helping raise funds but I don't know how long that may take considering the economy. His enthusiasm is great. I helped him out back in the 1980's while we were still on staff at Jesus House. He has a real heart for the homeless and Vets, so I look for him to be pretty successful.

The weather has become an issue to consider. In one way it will help show the conditions that people have to deal with but it will also create a bit of a challenge while filming. We have had a good steady rain today and more on the way if I understand the reporters, but it is what it is.

I don't look forward to the holidays this year. Normally I have a way of 'getting through' them and enjoying myself but I can already see the dread on the horizon. The stores have all three holidays  on display at the same time. That's a first; and a disappointment to boot. I used to love to see the seasons change and with them the decorations. Now the merchants are combining the seasons in a sort of desperation attempt to increase their bottom lines.

The news gets worse each week. Revelation is coming into fruition by the moment.

I intend on doing it again....

The rain is winding down at last. We have had a few days of off and on showers that have been yet another blessing for our farmers and ranchers. I think the fall plowing and planting has been better this year than many previous ones.

I just finished another DVD. I had wanted to put together a short presentation about the homeless situation in preparation for a longer, more in depth documentary. It has been on my heart for several years to attempt a different approach than the usual 'looking downward' aspect. More often than not the viewer only gets a surface view; the most shallow scene with a poor person giving "the standard testimony" about their life and how badly they have been treated and how they just don't understand how all of this could have happened to them and so on. It's too easy.
Anyone can make up a story and most do. If they were to tell you what really happened you would better know how to help ...or not.
Sometimes people need to have it a little tough. If we are always bailing them out we are always going to be bailing them out. There is a lot to be said for 'walking through the consequences' of our actions.

If it doesn't cost anything it must not be worth very much.

Jesus gave up his life, and not just on earth, and for what? To be killed on the cross. He gave up being a king on the throne in heaven to come down here and bail us out. That's walking a mile in our shoes for real.
I think we too often want to find and take the easy way out and not have to pay the real price for what we have. Sadly, I do. I am always looking for an easier way. It's human nature. I want to be more comfortable, don't you? Of course you do.
It's a rare person that takes 'the road less traveled' as the poet once said. We sit on a cushy seat 
while we watch the world go by all frantic and frazzled; observing everything through the window of our air conditioned vehicle, listening to that inspirational song that lulls us into complacency and abject apathy. Am I right or are you on the road less traveled?
Now, don't get me wrong. I know how hard people work for what they have, sometimes sacrificing a great deal to achieve their goals. I'm talking about the ones that can more than afford to 'give back' and don't. We have got to get in one accord; on the same page ...together. That means looking around at what is really going on and find a way to help. It doesn't have to be the ultimate sacrifice. You don't have to shave your head and take a vow of silence and live on stale bread for the rest of your life. Come on. There are every day things we can do that will help others. A simple phone call to lift someone's spirits. A surprise gift of someone's favorite cookie left on the doorstep. A yard mowed and edged while the owner is away at work. There are innumerable ways to help our fellow man that won't hurt a bit. As a matter of fact, a little "community Service" is just what most of us need.
The best one is praying for someone on a regular basis and then seeing the end result of those prayers ... not saying anything to anyone that you 'prayed through' and got a hold of God ...and he answered ...because you cared ... you acted on that emotion; that heart felt nudge to do "something".
It can work. I've seen it. I've felt it. I've done it. I intend on doing it again....

... progress can be made

I feel like someone sat on me... for a long time.
Have you ever felt crushed; just loaded down with the weight of the world on your shoulders? It is unpleasant to say the least. I would really like to sleep for about a month and wake up refreshed and ready to do battle but odds are I would still be right where I am now.
I have gone through a tough couple of weeks here. The work has been a disaster on more than one count and I find myself looking for relief yet finding none on the horizon.
I know we aren't supposed to complain and I don't want it to sound as though I am but aren't we also supposed to share our concerns and pitfalls with one another? I tend to feel better once I get something off my chest and down on paper for others to read and contemplate. The end result often brings a peace to the tumult. I could sure use some right about now.
I think we all like for things to run smoothly but just how often does that happen on a regular basis?
I have long strings of good and then the bad explodes onto the scene. I suppose that's life in the raw but I don't have to like it, do I?
Okay, enough negative.
I do have a praise report.
I have a new HD video camera. It is really kewl. I can now do some of the projects I have wanted to do for so long. The features are great and the picture quality is top of the line; especially in comparison to what I have done with the old camera.
Look for some new things to pop up on YouTube pretty soon. I really want to do a documentary on the homeless. It has been in my mind for such a long time now. I can almost see it playing out in my head; just the way I have envisioned it coming together. With my contacts downtown I feel that I can portray this mounting dilemma in such a way that will better inform the public. If I can accurately relate the message people will be able to grasp the enormity of the problem and where it is leading. I don't think anyone knows how dire it is out there except the people 'in the action' who are 'working in the trenches'. The negative percentages are growing at an alarming rate.Too many are just one paycheck away from the streets. We can do so very much if we will. It doesn't take nearly as much effort and resources as most people think. It only takes a few who truly care and some well placed resources and progress can be made.

...there I go again... Soapbox!

The weather is fabulous today. It won't get over 65 degrees and the clouds are spectacular.
I spent the afternoon yesterday finishing the foundation pad for the new building... or should I say "almost' finishing. We have a few high and low spots here and there but for the most part it is there and ready to dig post holes and pier footings.
I put together a small crew of teens to do the digging and they seemed excited to get to do some 'man work' for a change and it turned out nicely for all. Dianna brought pizza for the snack and they shoveled right up to dark without a bit of hesitation.
I am about to add a good camera to the One Lord arsenal. It has been quite some time since we had a chance to do quality video and this will present the opportunity to do High Definition work. That moves us up a level or two in the pecking order, so to speak which suits me fine. I would rather be shooting footage and editing than digging post holes and pier footers any day.
I have, however, had a small issue with an old friend. He called last week and acted enthusiastic about being a part of the camera acquisition process I have found myself in of late. His promise of a certain amount encouraged me and I thought it good to get back in touch with him after almost a year. I had dealt with him in the 1980's and then again about a year or so back when I was working with the homeless mission downtown. He acted like he wanted to do a real project and get the homeless vets some help with a range of issues that seem to plague that sector of our society.
Now it looks as though he will back out and thus I will lose the chance to minister to him again. He needs help but I can't force myself on him ; that would only drive him farther away. His PTSD flares up on a regular basis and it takes him into some dark places; places I'd rather he not go.
That seems to be a more or less norm for some. The riggers of life catch them unaware and they sink into depression over and over again until eventually, the outlook becomes pretty dim. I worked with several vets at one time over an extended time period. However the opportunities to help have dwindled over time. I'm just not 'there' to be around them like before and the distance widens quickly when you're not 'around' to be seen and be accessible.
I want to do a documentary on the homeless. Getting the real story can be difficult but I know where to go to get the best shots and I think the right pictures will be more than enough to show how desperate the situation can become. If more people could see the 'real', I believe they would be more inclined to help. Too many times the 'generic' picture is put out there and it turns people off. The "PR"people try to 'sell' people on an idea and more often than not they only get a small portion of the real picture and that doesn't do anyone any good; except for the donation factories, of course.
There I go again... Soapbox!

... are we there yet?

Beginning a new job always carries a lot of excitement for me. I relish the thought of everything being new and shiny and in front of me like some anticipated vacation to a tropical island. However, once the 'honeymoon ' is over the work looms large and 'the thrill of the hunt' sensation subsides. This is where I find myself... things 'looming'.
I had greatly anticipated that the first stage of the new building would have been done by now and we could be digging post holes and pier holes. That way we would be ready for the first load of material to arrive; but it was not to be.
The first tractor man did a horrible job on the pad surface so I located and hired a second one the following week. His comments lead me to believe that he was qualified and I made a deal for him to do a 'turn key' job and he agreed. That too was a fiasco. He was there for over 8 hours on what he described as an easy 4 hour job and he still didn't finish the work. Needless to say, I was fried by days end and ready to shoot something or someone. The hole in the ground was enormous and well below grade not to mention the 7 foot pile of dirt sitting next to the pad site; a good 10 yards if not more.
Now don't get me wrong, I like a good challenge but this was bordering on the ridiculous!
Finally, I rented a skid and put all of the dirt back where it had been and got very close to finishing in just over 3 hours. Not bad for a novice if I do say so. Had I done that in the first place I would be digging post holes by now. Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20, right?
I am once again on my way over to the jobsite to inspect what the mornings rain did to settle the ground and to inspect my handiwork as to it's relative closeness to finish. When I left there at dark last night there were several dips in the top layers at various places that will invariably have to be filled. I pray that the rain helped me out to some extent because the soil is so sandy. A good rain was just what I needed to evaluate the previous day efforts. The thought comes to mind of the old scenario about the long trip involving parents and children.
The inevitable question somehow always presents itself..."are we there yet?"

....I guess that's not so bad ... is it?

The rain was like a welcome friend coming to the door this morning.
I shut off the alarm and went right back to sleep. I can't remember the last time I did that.
What makes the rain so comforting? Is it the inviting coolness after long, hot summer days or the wetness that soothes the skin and melts away the 'crust' of the day? Both come to mind.
I have been busy with the tasks of life these past two weeks and forgetting to blog everyone and stay in touch. Please forgive me.
It seems as though I have made a good turn in life recently. The woes of the old job are far behind in my memory and the issues of the day press in, captivating my thoughts.
I have been blessed with several new songs of late as well. It is as though they are waiting there for me to discover them as I sleep or as I read. The words jump off the page and into my mind creating a melody, setting a rhythmic tempo and I'm off and running in search of pen and paper.

The addition of a new guitar has done wonders for my mental atmosphere. I can actually keep it in tune and play more than one song before it goes out of tune like before. "Little Brownie" has served me well but his time is past now and I'm really enjoying "Glory"; the new one.
I can't remember the last new guitar I owned. It has to have been forty years or more.

My new job is exciting. I contracted to do a small building for the first time. It will be quite a learning experience, I'm sure. The ins and outs of what goes where and when are going to keep me on my toes for at least a couple of months. I am rather enjoying the challenge though. I have to keep a pace of sorts and not get ahead of myself or fall too far behind with the components. Everything has to come together in the right order or it will be much harder to complete.
But isn't that a description of life? Everything has to be done in order or life gets out of control and we suffer losses and setbacks.
I find reading the daily Proverb essential to starting the day now. I missed one morning this week and the whole day was terrible.
I apologize for the rambling on so much but I haven't said anything in awhile and it is just 'coming out'.
I guess that's not so bad.... is it?

...what a friend

I had another great time at the lake today. We didn't stay as long this time but it was still encouraging and enlightening.
We began with prayer, as usual. The girls have a spot they call "the wall", where they begin each time they come. We stood with outstretched arms, our faces into the wind, looking out over the water like sentinels. As we began I noticed a small boat making it's way out onto the lake, passing right in front of our position about 100 yards away. The girls were already lost in prayer and didn't notice but I watched as the lone occupant suddenly slowed his pace and stared wide eyed at the three of us with our arms in the air there on the shore. I think he thought we were trying to get his attention at first and then realized that we were indeed praying. After a moment he increased his speed and continued on his way.
It made me wonder what his thoughts were at that moment.

We have to make a stand. We have to be a presence in this world that people can look to in times of trouble and need and sorrow and yes, even joy. Too many 'christians' are far too silent. They are like 'undercover agents' that have little or nothing to say when the opportunity presents itself. Our voices should ring out like great trumpets proclaiming the Good News so that people will know where to come when they have a need or when they are seeking answers to life's questions.

On a lighter note, I received a card in the mail today when I got home. I had been looking for it for quite awhile. A friend had said that he was sending it and so I waited for it arrive ... and waited ... and waited. After almost two months it arrived, post marked July 12th. Today is the 22nd of August.

As most of you know, I just quit my job last Friday. Money is a little tight just now and the money order inside is just what the doctor ordered if you know what I mean. If I had gotten it when it was supposed to come in I would probably have already spent it, thinking it was "extra" money; the kind I spend on 'fun'. The Lord knows me better than anyone. He delayed that card so that I would have bill money when I needed it. Man, what a Savior! What a friend!

... I think so

I spent some quality time with the Lord today.
I took my wife's advice and went to the lake and it was great. There were few people there. An occasional passerby to wave to for the most part, but other than that it was just me and the Lord and one lone, brown dove lighting on the ground amongst the trees in search of food. I do believe the dove was a sign. To me it represented the Holy Spirit on hand to minister to me.

I didn't want to leave when I did but I knew I needed to get back, so I reluctantly turned the van toward home and left the waters to gently roll ashore on their own.
Isn't it funny how easily we get distracted from what's really important? I haven't taken the time to just 'wait before the Lord' in quite some time. How sad.
However, I have made up my mind to do this on a more regular basis from now on. I need it and I know it will be good for me. I need to spend time with the Lord to find out what I'm to do next. I know that his plan is much better than any of mine. I pray to know soon but I also know I have to be patient and wait for him to pass along whatever it is he needs me to hear and understand, no matter what the topic.

Dianna has been such an inspiration. She goes almost every day now and always returns refreshed and ready to continue the battle. I love her so.
I know I'm in for a time of adjustment but that's alright by me. I need to get out of my comfort zone again and see what the Lord has in store for me. I think it's time to get much  closer to him now and hear what he has to say a little more directly. Pastor's sermons are tremendous but there's jut no comparison when it's one on one with God. How could it be?
Isn't that the way it was originally designed to be? I think so.

... in the meantime

I quit my job at the park yesterday.
The odds that I would soon be unemployed were greater by the day anyway it seems. At any rate, I had been getting more and more dissatisfied with the way things were going over the past months and then before I realized it, it was over. The unrelenting pressure to say something about the situation was mounting and I half expected a harsh ending to it all at some point. Thankfully, it ended rather quietly with both parties not having to raise our voices.
I ended it by saying, "You need to get yourself another maintenance man....", and that was it. He walked out without another word.
He did make a rather odd statement before I said what I did. He said, "If that's the hill you want to die on ... it's up to you...." What does that mean exactly? It must come from some obscure story of some sort that he recalls from his past. I have never heard those words in that context before.

Okay, so, where now? Where does a person like me go to get work ...and then again what kind of work?
Di says that I should just stop everything and just go before the Lord and ask him what to do next. That's probably the best advice anyone could pass along to another person in a situation such as this, wouldn't you agree?
I do and that's just what I intend.
I do have a lot of other work I can be doing, but it doesn't exactly pay anything for the completion. It just needs doing.

 I feel a kind of relief. The pressure to please a person that can't be pleased is like a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I can actually breathe better.
I do wonder if there will be any unforeseen repercussions. Will he be vindictive toward Dianna as she continues to manage the park? Will he just fire her and send us packing so to speak. That's what we would have to do ...pack.

As for me, I will leave all that up to the Lord and how he sees fit to arrange the circumstances from here on out. I always feel better and do better when I remember that God is in control.
Anyway, I just wanted all to know that I am among the ranks of the unemployed for a time. Let me know if you need anything done ...in the meantime.

... it might get worse

Sweating and tired, covered in mud, I crawled out from under the trailer at 5 PM. We gone under it several times since about 2:30 or so setting up for the duct exchange. My arms were so tired I could hardly lift them to get a drink of water from my jug. I had been trying to change out a "crossover duct" and just as we got into position to make the change we discovered that we had the wrong size duct. The one we were trying to put on was two inches too small. Someone had measured it wrong. Three hoours of hard, dirty work all for naught.

There are certain things I like to do but being under a trailer isn't one of them. I think I suffer from a slight case of claustrophobia anyway and being in such close quarters makes me stress out more than usual. I don't like heights either, as Di will gladly tell you; as much as I don't like close quarters.
The ideal scenario would feature my having a helper that can do those things for me while I  supervise.
But isn't that the way of it nowadays? Don't we all wish we could just do what we want to do and have someone else do what we don't want to do? That would be paradise; having a 'second' to do the unwanted tasks while we sit back and watch the progress from our easy chairs.
Somehow I don't think I'm in line for that particular position just yet. The hard jobs keep falling to me to accomplish and so I keep crawling under those trailers or onto those tin roofs that want to buckle just as you are taking a step in uncertain territory. I suppose I had better get used to the idea that not everyone gets what they want just when they want it. Our world hasn't become any easier overnight and I really don't expect it to any time soon.
In fact, I rather think ...that it might just get worse.

"...a roll of toilet paper."

I had anticipated being in the studio by 9:30 or 10 this morning. As I was having my morning coffee I was informed that we, Di & I, had an appointment for a meeting between 9 and noon. That meant that I would have to stick close to the house until the meeting.
Who wants to wait around for 4 hours anticipating someone else's timetable? Certainly not me.
Granted this person was getting ready for a long trip out of town and had a lot to do to complete preparations, but who sets a meeting time with a 4 hour window in this day and time? No one.
Normally, a person wanting to get things done sets things in motion with some sort of plan in mind. And ordinarily that person also takes into consideration the time each part of that plan may take; allowing for the interested parties having adequate time to be in place as needed. Did I say 'consideration'? That's it, consideration.
That's what bothers me. There was no consideration for our time. It's as though we aren't important enough to have a schedule of our own, we're just supposed to 'be there' as needed, like a roll of paper towels or better yet, ...a roll of toilet paper.

... but then, who's counting

I spent a couple of hours tonight cleaning up the studio. I had done a lot of painting and rearranging but I hadn't put things away that had been 'sitting around' for months. I was feeling 'surrounded' and disorganized every time I opened the door to 'go to work'.
It makes a lot of difference to the psyche when things are in order and comfortable. The creative juices can flow much more easily and obviously more can be achieved in an organized, creatively designed atmosphere.
Di  found some really nice pictures that added to the design; each having music content phrases and instruments done in a modern color motif. I did my best to put them where they 'encouraged' the observer.
Tomorrow I begin a brand new project that promises to reach a lot of people. It is a study on the Book of Revelation by a man named Jesse Garcia. I am looking forward to his 'take' on what is there. I have been a curious bystander for years in regard to the many debates over what is written and the meanings. I have heard many interpretations but they are more often confusing and contradictory than complete and informing. I hope to learn from this in a way that both clarifies and settles all the various 'opinions'. Stay tuned for updates on this one.
As I left the studio I was reflecting on how long I had been there. It's going on 5 years now. So much has been done that it would be hard to relate it all, but it would be good to make a record of it just to show how much God can do with small, unknown servants that love to do what we do... but then, who's counting?

... when it wonders

I just finished a DVD for a friend. Her sister passed away about two weeks ago and I was asked to video the service. 

I was doing my usual concentration thing while the eulogies were being presented trying to be as unobtrusive as possible when one statement the Pastor gave made me stop in my tracks.He said, "Sharon was born in May of 1949..." That's the year I was born and almost the month. I was born in April.

I had never thought much about it before but I realize now there are a lot of people dying in their 60's lately.

What day will I die? How will I die? Will there be anyone there to see me go or will I be alone and have to wait to be discovered? Will there be a lot of people at my funeral? There were certainly a lot of people at Sharon's funeral. The whole church filled up and on a weekday at that. It's hard enough to  get people to come to church on Sunday much less on a Thursday. She was greatly loved and will be sorely missed.What  better testimony to a life well lived than a church full of loving family and friends to see you off?

The odds are that I will live awhile longer I know. I'm not that anxious to go, even though I know there is a far better place awaiting.

Funny how the mind wonders ...when it wonders.