I arrived at the studio a little after 5. A friend was to meet me there to do a short video that would be added to a project congratulating someone celebrating 35 years in ministry. After finishing the shoot I did a quick edit and put the finished clip into Dropbox where it could be uploaded later.
That left me a few minutes before our regular Tuesday recording session. I spent the time answering emails.
Phil arrived right on time and we began sorting out what he wanted to accomplish for the evening. I hadn't anticipated anything special, I was just glad to get some 'studio time' after so much work at the park. I was beginning to think that I would never get back to the music. The enormous amount of individual things needing done has been and is growing almost daily. I find it harder and harder to 'let go' of the duties and then get into the music like I used to do so easily before. What is that all about?
Once into the session I found that I could relax a bit and let the creative side open up but I still have a long way to go to get back to the free flowing feeling I was used to experiencing before.
What 'releases' us to create? What switch gets thrown that allows the juices to flow? Is there some sort of mind control or better yet, 'spirit control' that has to happen that either opens up or shuts down the creative? I wonder.
As the evening came to a close and we began shutting everything down I took inventory. What had we actually accomplished? Had we done something that would be considered 'a keeper'? No.
We had made progress but we haven't gotten to the place of 'acceptable' or better yet, superior; which is what we are reaching for.
As I said before, I want this to be the very best project I have ever done. It's time has come. I have recorded thousands of hours of sound and I believe that it's time to bring forth the very best. For people to experience what we do when the song is being born and arranged we have to take the time to 'build it' in a fashion that presents the material in the best light ... it has to shine.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
... 'hindsight is 20/20'
We could have been hurt very badly or even killed.
Dianna and I worked frantically all day Friday to get ready for a 'quick' trip to Joplin.
It turns out that the room addition Dad had contracted on his home in Joplin didn't meet city code. We were notified by the realtor that it would have to be 'disassembled' in order to list it, unless he was willing to greatly reduce the asking price. Unfortunately he was already going to take a big hit because the market value on homes in that area had declined in the last few months.
That made the trip more or less a necessity; we thought.
Di loaded all the 'essentials' needed for a two day trip and I loaded all the tools we had for doing demolition. At that point I headed for the shower to rinse off while she left to go gas up. I didn't want to travel four hours smelling like a wet goat.
I haven't used the driver's side window in quite awhile because it was acting up and about to go out. Di didn't remember that little tidbit of information and rolled the window down to tell the gas station attendant how much fuel we needed. It wouldn't go back up. And so after almost an hour I came to the conclusion that I was not going to get that window to go back up but, like the troopers we are, we pressed on anyway.
That 'broken' window should have been the 'final clue' that kept us off the road but we missed it... along with all the other promptings throughout the course of the day.
Now if you will, envision the three of us whistling down the road at about 70 miles an hour with two ladders strapped to the roof of the tool filled Suburban and the driver's side window down when ... "Bam"! The left front tire tread explodes off of the tire and flies away in shreds making a horrendous noise somewhat like a plane crashing in a world war II movie. I don't know about you but I don't like sudden loud noises; especially the ones that give me the distinct impression of impending doom.
I wrestled the vehicle to the roadside and put it into park. Di looked as white as a new sheet and Josh was as wide eyed as I have ever seen him, but we were alive.
At that point I stepped out of the car to survey the damage.
As the tread was coming off it had loosened the metal wrap inside the wheelwell, buckling it, causing the tread to whip the outside of the left front fender as well as the front bumper, which in turn tore off a strip of rubber trim.
I was amazed that the tire had not deflated. It was still fully inflated but the metal belt beneath the tread was sticking out like a pile of old dried spaghetti.
What had kept it from going flat? I think I know. As far as I'm concerned, God had his hand on us, keeping us from being harmed or even killed.
After all the hints and promptings we were still not listening; just bumbling along like we had good sense. If we had only prayed about the trip I fully believe we would have shut down the plan to travel and not gone through what we did.
How true it is, the old saying, "hindsight is 20/20".
Dianna and I worked frantically all day Friday to get ready for a 'quick' trip to Joplin.
It turns out that the room addition Dad had contracted on his home in Joplin didn't meet city code. We were notified by the realtor that it would have to be 'disassembled' in order to list it, unless he was willing to greatly reduce the asking price. Unfortunately he was already going to take a big hit because the market value on homes in that area had declined in the last few months.
That made the trip more or less a necessity; we thought.
Di loaded all the 'essentials' needed for a two day trip and I loaded all the tools we had for doing demolition. At that point I headed for the shower to rinse off while she left to go gas up. I didn't want to travel four hours smelling like a wet goat.
I haven't used the driver's side window in quite awhile because it was acting up and about to go out. Di didn't remember that little tidbit of information and rolled the window down to tell the gas station attendant how much fuel we needed. It wouldn't go back up. And so after almost an hour I came to the conclusion that I was not going to get that window to go back up but, like the troopers we are, we pressed on anyway.
That 'broken' window should have been the 'final clue' that kept us off the road but we missed it... along with all the other promptings throughout the course of the day.
Now if you will, envision the three of us whistling down the road at about 70 miles an hour with two ladders strapped to the roof of the tool filled Suburban and the driver's side window down when ... "Bam"! The left front tire tread explodes off of the tire and flies away in shreds making a horrendous noise somewhat like a plane crashing in a world war II movie. I don't know about you but I don't like sudden loud noises; especially the ones that give me the distinct impression of impending doom.
I wrestled the vehicle to the roadside and put it into park. Di looked as white as a new sheet and Josh was as wide eyed as I have ever seen him, but we were alive.
At that point I stepped out of the car to survey the damage.
As the tread was coming off it had loosened the metal wrap inside the wheelwell, buckling it, causing the tread to whip the outside of the left front fender as well as the front bumper, which in turn tore off a strip of rubber trim.
I was amazed that the tire had not deflated. It was still fully inflated but the metal belt beneath the tread was sticking out like a pile of old dried spaghetti.
What had kept it from going flat? I think I know. As far as I'm concerned, God had his hand on us, keeping us from being harmed or even killed.
After all the hints and promptings we were still not listening; just bumbling along like we had good sense. If we had only prayed about the trip I fully believe we would have shut down the plan to travel and not gone through what we did.
How true it is, the old saying, "hindsight is 20/20".
Thursday, June 20, 2013
... still waitng
I placed an order for a special gift for Dianna after seeing the commercial on television. This special surprise is designed to make her job of cooking a great deal easier. However, if she doesn't have the product how can she perform this amazing feat?
It is now a month later and still no package. I have called the service center listed on the online commercial several times. The first call should have been sufficient but unfortunately it hasn't been. Not only do I have to try to understand which East Indian dialect I am addressing over a poor phone connection, I have to listen to the same rehearsed answers each time. What is the definition of insanity again?
The commercial says that you will receive a tracking number within three days of your purchase; not so.
Now I am being told after the fourth call that UPS has finally picked up the package and I will be getting the tracking number via email "at any time now".
Had I known all of this I would certainly have handled this in a totally different manner. I would have searched out a brick and mortar store that carries this 'wonder product' and made the drive however far that may be.
In any case, I'm extremely frustrated that companies can exact these tortures on unsuspecting people like me.
I have ordered other products online and they have arrived within a week. What makes this one such an issue? It's for Dianna.
She overheard the last minute of the conversation with the saleslady and asked me."who's that?"
Of course I couldn't say, so gave her a 'snappy ' answer, which went totally in the wrong direction. I received 'the look' and then the 'silent treatment ' all the way to church. She did say. "I don't see why you can't tell me who was on the phone...." I didn't agitate her further by giving her another 'snappy' answer, but I didn't get out of the dog house either.
As I said, it has been a month since placing the order. The 'surprise' has long since lost it's 'surprise appeal' and I get 'the look' when the subject surfaces. I'm determined to see this through to the end, whenever that may be,but in the meantime, you will find me.... still waiting.
It is now a month later and still no package. I have called the service center listed on the online commercial several times. The first call should have been sufficient but unfortunately it hasn't been. Not only do I have to try to understand which East Indian dialect I am addressing over a poor phone connection, I have to listen to the same rehearsed answers each time. What is the definition of insanity again?
The commercial says that you will receive a tracking number within three days of your purchase; not so.
Now I am being told after the fourth call that UPS has finally picked up the package and I will be getting the tracking number via email "at any time now".
Had I known all of this I would certainly have handled this in a totally different manner. I would have searched out a brick and mortar store that carries this 'wonder product' and made the drive however far that may be.
In any case, I'm extremely frustrated that companies can exact these tortures on unsuspecting people like me.
I have ordered other products online and they have arrived within a week. What makes this one such an issue? It's for Dianna.
She overheard the last minute of the conversation with the saleslady and asked me."who's that?"
Of course I couldn't say, so gave her a 'snappy ' answer, which went totally in the wrong direction. I received 'the look' and then the 'silent treatment ' all the way to church. She did say. "I don't see why you can't tell me who was on the phone...." I didn't agitate her further by giving her another 'snappy' answer, but I didn't get out of the dog house either.
As I said, it has been a month since placing the order. The 'surprise' has long since lost it's 'surprise appeal' and I get 'the look' when the subject surfaces. I'm determined to see this through to the end, whenever that may be,but in the meantime, you will find me.... still waiting.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
... with what we do on this one.
I'm sitting in my chair in the studio listening to Phil put the 'Click drums' to the songs on the new project. They will set the tempo for what we eventually record. It's amazing to listen to him pick out a beat and then set the timing to the words.
His knowledge on the drum machine has already shown me his attention to detail. I am really pleased to have him as my Producer. He shared some ideas he has for some of the songs and I was pleasantly surprised at his creativity coupled with his sense of knowing the material. If you ask most people what a song is 'about', they usually talk about the meaning of the words. To a producer the meaning of the song is all about the instruments and the arrangement. Phil definitely has 'the touch'.
He's only had the songs in written form for a week but he knows them and comments on what he "sees" in how he will accomplish the arrangements.
This time I will get to concentrate on the playing and the musical creating while he guides the project and adds input on instrumentation and voicing. I will help with mic placement and the acoustics. Up to now I have done all previous projects alone, deciding what to do when and how to present the material. I like some of the choices but not all. That's why I asked Phil to join me on this latest project.
This should be far and away the best one ever. The words are good, the tempos are good and the music has a sense of being right for 'such a time as this'. Many times Di and I have 'heard' the songs before we actually got them down on paper or found the chords. Sometimes the song came on stage right before a service and I had to then 'recreate' the sound and listen for the words after church was over. Other songs were birthed late at night as the Lord woke me. I would quickly put pen to paper often writing an entire song in only a few minutes. Sometimes I just get a small piece of the melody or a short phrase of the wording but I always know ..."here's another one!"
I love the music. A few sound a little country but I'm sure that will change once Phil gets the beats on them. Not that country is a bad thing, it's just that we're reaching for more of a praise and worship feel, especially on the two or three that were 'born on stage'.
As you can tell, I am kinda "in to it". Pray for us if you would. We want to really please the Master with what we do on this one.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
...see ya later, Buddy
I never would have thought that I would get old. The odds that I would live past thirty were far and away against me from the start. Some of the wild things I did early on should have taken me but in the end I outlasted them and, well, here I am.
I just spent four long days with a friend of mine on a road trip to Texas. He is almost 80. His mind is going but he thinks he still has good judgement. Some of the things he says and does are so totally out of the realm of reality I can't even respond to them for fear of hurting my friend's feelings. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. His opinions are all but set in concrete.
I had to stop for a minute yesterday to remind myself that I could be him in a few years, if I actually make it that far.
What we do with our lives is so very important. I never used to think about the consequences of my actions but more and more I consider them.What I do matters. What you do matters.
Everything we say or do matters and we have to be aware of the ones around us and how we react to their actions and opinions. I'm not saying keep silent. Not at all. I'm saying be aware and responsive in a positive way. Give good advice and follow it yourself; don't just give advice for the giving's sake. Too many want to 'give advice' but refuse to live by the opinion as a standard. That's being judgmental and somewhat prejudice.
In the end I helped my friend. He is like a father figure to me anyway so I have to do what I can, given the opportunity. He looked back as I was driving away and I could see him in the rear view mirror.
"See ya later, Buddy...."
I just spent four long days with a friend of mine on a road trip to Texas. He is almost 80. His mind is going but he thinks he still has good judgement. Some of the things he says and does are so totally out of the realm of reality I can't even respond to them for fear of hurting my friend's feelings. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. His opinions are all but set in concrete.
I had to stop for a minute yesterday to remind myself that I could be him in a few years, if I actually make it that far.
What we do with our lives is so very important. I never used to think about the consequences of my actions but more and more I consider them.What I do matters. What you do matters.
Everything we say or do matters and we have to be aware of the ones around us and how we react to their actions and opinions. I'm not saying keep silent. Not at all. I'm saying be aware and responsive in a positive way. Give good advice and follow it yourself; don't just give advice for the giving's sake. Too many want to 'give advice' but refuse to live by the opinion as a standard. That's being judgmental and somewhat prejudice.
In the end I helped my friend. He is like a father figure to me anyway so I have to do what I can, given the opportunity. He looked back as I was driving away and I could see him in the rear view mirror.
"See ya later, Buddy...."
... those are the good times
I had to hold my breath for a second or two when I got to the studio today. I was attempting to get some artwork done on a website but I couldn't bring up the hard drive that has everything on it. I'm talking literally everything about every website, art project, video project and more. The two Terabyte drive has been a stalwart tool for over year now and I hadn't backed it up with another one due to lack of funding for equipment. I will be getting a back up soon.
I unplugged it and put it on another computer and it fired right up. I sighed a huge sigh of relief and went about my way finding out what had happened. For some reason that particular USB port on the back of the new computer doesn't read.... and so .... I got the artwork done and went on to other things.
How often do we get surprises I wonder? How many times do we expect one thing and another thing happens, spoiling our otherwise comfortable lives? Probably too many to keep up with, but my point is we should always be ready for changes and we're not.
The latest electric bill arrives and includes a new raise in rates. The refrigerator stops cooling. The neighbor calls and informs you that your son has just broken a large picture window while playing ball in the street and by the way, a valuable vase was destroyed by the 'home run' as well.
Are we prepared? Not for the most part; usually we just take it on the chin and carry on. Most of us have a second gear when it comes to life's adversities. We settle in at a certain pace and when trouble comes we tighten up and ready ourselves for the blow we know is about to arrive, if it hasn't already. That's when the pace changes. Things begin to happen faster and faster until we are overwhelmed and that's when we react.
But just how do we react? Are we calm and cool and unaffected? Or do we become enraged and sullen and arbitrary? I find my self in the second category on too many occasions, wishing I was in the first category.
But I do have to add that there are times... wonderful times that I allow the adversity to 'bounce off' and I carry on relatively unaffected. Those are the good times.
I unplugged it and put it on another computer and it fired right up. I sighed a huge sigh of relief and went about my way finding out what had happened. For some reason that particular USB port on the back of the new computer doesn't read.... and so .... I got the artwork done and went on to other things.
How often do we get surprises I wonder? How many times do we expect one thing and another thing happens, spoiling our otherwise comfortable lives? Probably too many to keep up with, but my point is we should always be ready for changes and we're not.
The latest electric bill arrives and includes a new raise in rates. The refrigerator stops cooling. The neighbor calls and informs you that your son has just broken a large picture window while playing ball in the street and by the way, a valuable vase was destroyed by the 'home run' as well.
Are we prepared? Not for the most part; usually we just take it on the chin and carry on. Most of us have a second gear when it comes to life's adversities. We settle in at a certain pace and when trouble comes we tighten up and ready ourselves for the blow we know is about to arrive, if it hasn't already. That's when the pace changes. Things begin to happen faster and faster until we are overwhelmed and that's when we react.
But just how do we react? Are we calm and cool and unaffected? Or do we become enraged and sullen and arbitrary? I find my self in the second category on too many occasions, wishing I was in the first category.
But I do have to add that there are times... wonderful times that I allow the adversity to 'bounce off' and I carry on relatively unaffected. Those are the good times.
Friday, June 7, 2013
... we shall see
I pulled out my trusty pocket knife and cut the boxes open. The sound of pasteboard cutting has always sounded good to me for some reason. I suppose its because I am usually opening a new piece of equipment or a tool of some sort.
I pulled the two speakers out and set them onstage, replacing two old ones that have no doubt outlived their time.
After plugging them in, I turned on the sound system and pushed the button that activates my mic. A contented smile engulfed my face as I heard the clear, crisp tone of the words coming through. Knowing how long we have needed these 'tools', I felt a sense of completion as I turned the sound system off and closed the doors.
What a difference proper equipment makes. We have suffered with the old speakers for about two years now and I knew it would make a huge difference in how we hear each other, and in the end, how well we sing.
God has been so good to us. We seem to overcome while others are covered up with problems.
I am so thankful.
I am wondering how everyone will respond to the improvement.... we shall see
I pulled the two speakers out and set them onstage, replacing two old ones that have no doubt outlived their time.
After plugging them in, I turned on the sound system and pushed the button that activates my mic. A contented smile engulfed my face as I heard the clear, crisp tone of the words coming through. Knowing how long we have needed these 'tools', I felt a sense of completion as I turned the sound system off and closed the doors.
What a difference proper equipment makes. We have suffered with the old speakers for about two years now and I knew it would make a huge difference in how we hear each other, and in the end, how well we sing.
God has been so good to us. We seem to overcome while others are covered up with problems.
I am so thankful.
I am wondering how everyone will respond to the improvement.... we shall see
Saturday, May 25, 2013
... follow his lead
I have waited for awhile now, watching the news, before giving an opinion. Not that my opinions carry any weight or have any significant value, I merely wanted to get as many facts possible before blundering into the mainstream with personal thoughts.
We are in big trouble. From what I have read in the Bible coupled with is on the television screens each day, I really have a great concern for where we are headed as a country. Now don't get me wrong, I really haven't ever cared for soapbox statements for the most part but if we as Christians don't speak out now, where will we end up? What's to become of the people that love God and are called according to his purpose? The beginning of that scripture says, "All things work together for the good..."
The leadership is nil and the honesty factor has all but disappeared from public arenas from top to bottom.
Do we just sit by and not say anything? Can we? I can't. Anyone that knows me understands that I seldom keep my opinions to myself and have no problem addressing issues as they are encountered. It may be a flaw in my character or just having a big mouth, but I really think we need to take action. As to what action, I am certainly open for any and all suggestions.
The climate is such in our capitals that anyone with half a mind can probably get about anything they set their hearts and minds on, except Christians.
The evil one is working overtime in every area. His relentless pursuit of good is gaining momentum by the day. Not everyone sees what we see as Christians because we have been given back our sight and senses when we asked God to take over in our lives and make things happen as he originally designed them.
I realize that there are only a hand full that read this and I also understand how hard it may be to do anything from where you are standing at this point, but anything is better than nothing.
Pray. Read. Listen and then pray again. God can and will direct those of us that care enough to follow his lead.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
"nothins' better than an answered prayer"
Today I thought, "duty calls but so does nature", and wondered which one do you answer first? I would probably choose nature if I had to make that choice but one never knows. 'I would also have to add the 'the spur of the moment' often determines my actions; or whatever I feel to be most important at the time.I don't know if it was the food I ate the night before or the odd surroundings but I dreamed some very weird things last night. One of the dreams was about a group of people that lived in a big house or a large compound and everyone was either deranged or dishonest except for a small handful. One guy tried to get me alone in a room with vicious rats hiding in the walls and another was up to no good involving the air conditioning system. I don't know but it could have been the strawberry cobbler.
I don't like it when I dream weird things. and to make matters worse, there are always several 'chapters' during the dream sequence with each one being totally different from the one before and the one after. It's like putting on your overalls backwards; nothing seems to fit.
We had another good day at the Trade Show/ Flea Market. Jack was pretty sunburned from the day before and the crowd was twice the size of yesterday. I sold product at the motel as we sat having breakfast in the lobby. A lady from Mississippi bought $200 worth. She asked for prayer as we were leaving and so I grabbed her hand and prayed right there. She is a Baptist and I don't think she was quite ready to 'let it all hang out' right there in the lobby but I did anyway. I believe that you need to pray right when the person asks for prayer; otherwise it could go undone and then where would they be? No prayer... no results, that's the way I look at it.
I'm glad the wind was easier on us today as well. I think we had some 40 or 50 MPH gusts yesterday. It took down several booths near us and we all pitched in to help them get back up and going.
I'll be happy to be home tomorrow night. I so miss my sweet woman. I know, I'm spoiled. Enough said.
One good thing has come from the trip thus far. I have gained new perspective regarding the Word. I know that I don't read near enough scripture. I have been seeking out Proverbs and doing the daily reading as I return to the room for rest. It has done so much good; even setting in motion a new desire to look up things that come to mind in relation to circumstance. I used to do that all the time and don't know why I ever stopped. Silly me. Hit me with a hammer.
I recall a line from one of our songs; "nothins' better than a answered prayer."
I don't like it when I dream weird things. and to make matters worse, there are always several 'chapters' during the dream sequence with each one being totally different from the one before and the one after. It's like putting on your overalls backwards; nothing seems to fit.
We had another good day at the Trade Show/ Flea Market. Jack was pretty sunburned from the day before and the crowd was twice the size of yesterday. I sold product at the motel as we sat having breakfast in the lobby. A lady from Mississippi bought $200 worth. She asked for prayer as we were leaving and so I grabbed her hand and prayed right there. She is a Baptist and I don't think she was quite ready to 'let it all hang out' right there in the lobby but I did anyway. I believe that you need to pray right when the person asks for prayer; otherwise it could go undone and then where would they be? No prayer... no results, that's the way I look at it.
I'm glad the wind was easier on us today as well. I think we had some 40 or 50 MPH gusts yesterday. It took down several booths near us and we all pitched in to help them get back up and going.
I'll be happy to be home tomorrow night. I so miss my sweet woman. I know, I'm spoiled. Enough said.
One good thing has come from the trip thus far. I have gained new perspective regarding the Word. I know that I don't read near enough scripture. I have been seeking out Proverbs and doing the daily reading as I return to the room for rest. It has done so much good; even setting in motion a new desire to look up things that come to mind in relation to circumstance. I used to do that all the time and don't know why I ever stopped. Silly me. Hit me with a hammer.
I recall a line from one of our songs; "nothins' better than a answered prayer."
Thursday, May 2, 2013
...had I not reported it?
I pulled into the parking lot at Jack's office about 8 am; right on time. He was fumbling with a bag, trying to get it into place with several other bags and boxes he had lined up by the front door awaiting my arrival.
"Good morning", I quipped as I exited the car and stepped inside.
"I think we ought to put this in the back first and then this ...and then this...", was his reply. Never one to waste words, unless it was while making a sale, Jack was deep in thought struggling to keep everything organized. I noticed a tiredness in his manner and took note of it wondering how much rest he had been able to garner during the previous days.
"I guess that about does it", I said as I closed the back door to the Suburban.
"I know I'm forgetting something but we need to get on the road. I'll just have to buy whatever I don't have when we get there." He seemed resigned to the fact that he hadn't had enough time to plan the trip like he had done so many times before.
"We'll do fine", I answered, hoping to lighten the load a bit.
What is it about travel that brings on stress? Getting out of the comfort zone is probably a big part of it.
I was awakened by Jack's announcement that I only had fifteen more minutes before I had to get up. That would make it 5:45 am. We had agreed to get up at 6am the night before but since Jack had been awake since 4am I guess he couldn't help himself. There's only so much self restraint.
Our trip to Texas had been planned for almost a month. Jack had asked me to help him work a big Flea Market in Canton, Texas and I jumped on the chance to get out of the park for a few days. I relished the idea of getting a break from the boredom of trailer maintenance. The positives far out weighed the negatives as far as I was concerned and so I volunteered to be on hand for the four day event. I wanted to be around Jack anyway. He is always a good source of information even if most of it is historical. I more or less look on him as a second father so the trip gave me a chance to enjoy his company for awhile before having to return to the tediums of mobile home management.
Just now we are back in our room at the motel waiting for the rain to subside, if it does. The forecast was for a slight chance of rain yesterday but the "slight" changed to probable this morning and now we are listening to the rain on the rooftop and watching the local weather channel.
I know all of this is so very exciting to whoever may be reading this, but I couldn't pass up the chance to chronicle an adventure of this magnitude. Think of what you would have missed had I not reported it?
"Good morning", I quipped as I exited the car and stepped inside.
"I think we ought to put this in the back first and then this ...and then this...", was his reply. Never one to waste words, unless it was while making a sale, Jack was deep in thought struggling to keep everything organized. I noticed a tiredness in his manner and took note of it wondering how much rest he had been able to garner during the previous days.
"I guess that about does it", I said as I closed the back door to the Suburban.
"I know I'm forgetting something but we need to get on the road. I'll just have to buy whatever I don't have when we get there." He seemed resigned to the fact that he hadn't had enough time to plan the trip like he had done so many times before.
"We'll do fine", I answered, hoping to lighten the load a bit.
What is it about travel that brings on stress? Getting out of the comfort zone is probably a big part of it.
I was awakened by Jack's announcement that I only had fifteen more minutes before I had to get up. That would make it 5:45 am. We had agreed to get up at 6am the night before but since Jack had been awake since 4am I guess he couldn't help himself. There's only so much self restraint.
Our trip to Texas had been planned for almost a month. Jack had asked me to help him work a big Flea Market in Canton, Texas and I jumped on the chance to get out of the park for a few days. I relished the idea of getting a break from the boredom of trailer maintenance. The positives far out weighed the negatives as far as I was concerned and so I volunteered to be on hand for the four day event. I wanted to be around Jack anyway. He is always a good source of information even if most of it is historical. I more or less look on him as a second father so the trip gave me a chance to enjoy his company for awhile before having to return to the tediums of mobile home management.
Just now we are back in our room at the motel waiting for the rain to subside, if it does. The forecast was for a slight chance of rain yesterday but the "slight" changed to probable this morning and now we are listening to the rain on the rooftop and watching the local weather channel.
I know all of this is so very exciting to whoever may be reading this, but I couldn't pass up the chance to chronicle an adventure of this magnitude. Think of what you would have missed had I not reported it?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
"...and get out of the way"
I arrived at the studio with one goal in mind. I wanted to complete a 'render' of a video that I did for a friend featuring his new dragster. A render is like making a cake. All the parts are assembled and 'baked' or 'rendered' until done; that's an explanation that I hope will help, in simple terms for those of you that do not do 'video editing'.
I had been unsuccessful in two attempts the day before but I was determined to get it accomplished if it took me all day.
Thus far it has. I stopped briefly to eat breakfast with Di and went right back to work trying to figure this 'little puppy ' out.
I will have to have it working properly if I'm going to get any videos out in the future.
There are always adjustments to be made when you change equipment or software and this is one of those learning curve things I hate so much, but I endure it to get things right. The whole idea of creating something that entertains is intriguing to me to say the least. I endure these little 'traumas' to get to the finish line and jump up and down like Rocky at the top of the steps in Philadelphia.Enough on that for now.
I recently experienced a crazy event with a client/ friend that had a problem with the CDs I made for his ministry.
He was trying to play them on an I mac computer and came up with a startling discovery he thought was my fault. For whatever reason, when iTunes comes up it offers a lot of choices after you put a CD in to play it. Instead of just playing the disc it displays a lot of different artists' and various other material. My friend misread the page and thought that his disc had someone else's material on it. Some of the material; was not for ministry; at all.
I got an enraged email and was devastated. He had always been so nice.
In the end he figured out what he had done and called me straight away to apologize. Thankfully I had already given it to the Lord to it work out and sure enough, he had and it all came out in my favor.
Not only did I not have to replace a bunch of CDs, (Thank you Jesus!), I was given favor in the man's eyes for the way I handled the situation; not getting mad or mouthy in my reply, just humble and open and transparent like a good little man. I was elated at the outcome and look back on it smiling, remembering my thoughts at the time and my subsequent actions. Not bad for an old fat boy from Texas!
Isn't it funny how things seem to work out when you don't get mad or upset or afraid? I have a tendency to do all three when bad things come my way but I'm so glad I didn't this time. I actually trusted God to do what he said he would do all along. That's a kinda miracle in and of itself, ya know. Me trusting.
And so, here I sit , watching this monitor while this video renders.
I don't know what will happen this time, but I'm putting into practice the same principles I used the other day I'm going to trust God to fix it ...and get out of the way.
I had been unsuccessful in two attempts the day before but I was determined to get it accomplished if it took me all day.
Thus far it has. I stopped briefly to eat breakfast with Di and went right back to work trying to figure this 'little puppy ' out.
I will have to have it working properly if I'm going to get any videos out in the future.
There are always adjustments to be made when you change equipment or software and this is one of those learning curve things I hate so much, but I endure it to get things right. The whole idea of creating something that entertains is intriguing to me to say the least. I endure these little 'traumas' to get to the finish line and jump up and down like Rocky at the top of the steps in Philadelphia.Enough on that for now.
I recently experienced a crazy event with a client/ friend that had a problem with the CDs I made for his ministry.
He was trying to play them on an I mac computer and came up with a startling discovery he thought was my fault. For whatever reason, when iTunes comes up it offers a lot of choices after you put a CD in to play it. Instead of just playing the disc it displays a lot of different artists' and various other material. My friend misread the page and thought that his disc had someone else's material on it. Some of the material; was not for ministry; at all.
I got an enraged email and was devastated. He had always been so nice.
In the end he figured out what he had done and called me straight away to apologize. Thankfully I had already given it to the Lord to it work out and sure enough, he had and it all came out in my favor.
Not only did I not have to replace a bunch of CDs, (Thank you Jesus!), I was given favor in the man's eyes for the way I handled the situation; not getting mad or mouthy in my reply, just humble and open and transparent like a good little man. I was elated at the outcome and look back on it smiling, remembering my thoughts at the time and my subsequent actions. Not bad for an old fat boy from Texas!
Isn't it funny how things seem to work out when you don't get mad or upset or afraid? I have a tendency to do all three when bad things come my way but I'm so glad I didn't this time. I actually trusted God to do what he said he would do all along. That's a kinda miracle in and of itself, ya know. Me trusting.
And so, here I sit , watching this monitor while this video renders.
I don't know what will happen this time, but I'm putting into practice the same principles I used the other day I'm going to trust God to fix it ...and get out of the way.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
... all of my issues
I opened my email to find a very disturbing letter from a new friend that I haven't known for very long.
I had done a CD project for their ministry and everything seemed to be on a fast track to success when we ran into an issue with about 40% of the CDs. They were bad. I felt terrible.
I have always been very prompt to fix any problems with product and I got to work quickly replacing the bad ones.. I thought.
Not only were the new ones bad, they had some very strange material on them that I have never heard of by people I have never heard of. I am now faced with trying to explain something that I have no idea how it could have happened.
In almost twenty years of doing CDs and DVDs for people I have never had an issue of this magnitude. We're talking hundreds of CDs that make up several different projects of 2 and 6 CD sets.
This is surely an attack of the enemy, but what do you tell a person that doesn't know you that you're not a flake and then how do you explain the mystery of how the odd material got there in the first place?
This is so discouraging. I had high hopes of working with this ministry on a long term basis, but now it looks as though I have destroyed the relationship and lost their confidence forever over something that I had no earthly idea had happened.
However, tomorrow is another day and I know God has an answer to any and all of my issues.
I had done a CD project for their ministry and everything seemed to be on a fast track to success when we ran into an issue with about 40% of the CDs. They were bad. I felt terrible.
I have always been very prompt to fix any problems with product and I got to work quickly replacing the bad ones.. I thought.
Not only were the new ones bad, they had some very strange material on them that I have never heard of by people I have never heard of. I am now faced with trying to explain something that I have no idea how it could have happened.
In almost twenty years of doing CDs and DVDs for people I have never had an issue of this magnitude. We're talking hundreds of CDs that make up several different projects of 2 and 6 CD sets.
This is surely an attack of the enemy, but what do you tell a person that doesn't know you that you're not a flake and then how do you explain the mystery of how the odd material got there in the first place?
This is so discouraging. I had high hopes of working with this ministry on a long term basis, but now it looks as though I have destroyed the relationship and lost their confidence forever over something that I had no earthly idea had happened.
However, tomorrow is another day and I know God has an answer to any and all of my issues.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
... even the new car smell
The day began with a bad case of stomach cramps waking me from a sound sleep. Di had just recovered from the same symptoms a day or two before keeping her in bed all that day. I decided that I wasn't going to let it get me down if I could help it so I slowly pulled myself up and sat on the side of the bed. Sitting there for a few minutes to get my bearings before standing was a feat of its own.
Once vertical I accomplished the brushing of the teeth and viewing the scary face in the mirror and made my way into the living room. I thought about sitting down for a minute but that would have been a mistake. Instead I poured a fresh cup of coffee and went outside. I was greeted by a muggy, cloudy day, half expecting a downpour to begin before I could get to my truck.
My list of things to do has grown daily for the past two weeks. That meant deciding on what to do first, keeping in mind how I felt. My first thought was to go back to bed and be a "weenie" for the rest of the day but I had something I wanted to do that canceled that idea.
i had picked up my new computer the day before and I certainly wanted to get it going as soon as possible tom see what it could do. I had been waiting on this computer for several years. It is the first "new" computer I have ever owned since 1992 when I began fooling around with these things.
To those of you that enjoy computers you will appreciate what I have but for those of you that don't have any idea what comprises a media computer you probably really don't care. Either way I can only say I was excited to get it plugged in and operating.
The day progressed but I was making slow progress in comparison to the norm. I got a sump pump working that had been out of service since last year and put it back in the storm shelter. Accomplishing something positive always perks me up, so I moved on to the next item on the list. Success again! I was on a roll!
It didn't seem like it but I worked through the day before I realized it was over.
That was my signal to shower and head for the studio.
Arriving just before sundown I unloaded the computer and had it up and running in less than an hour.
The new video card threw me a curve and I found out that I could only hook up one monitor for the time being because it has the new hookups in the back, so I had to settle for a single monitor. I began installing the software and settled in for the long run. I was racing a storm coming in from the west so I put in what I thought would be the most important programs and found them going in just right. I have had some real issues with installing programs in the past so this part of the process was most pleasant; not having any holdups.
I'm waiting for a large program to finish loading and I'll call it a day.
I have to stop at this point and give thanks for such a huge blessing. God is so awesome! He knows how to not only make us happy, He knows how to inspire. I dedicate this "tool" to the work that the Lord has for us to accomplish. May it serve us well and may we always remember how God made it possible.
I love it!
It has everything I asked for..... even the new car smell.
Once vertical I accomplished the brushing of the teeth and viewing the scary face in the mirror and made my way into the living room. I thought about sitting down for a minute but that would have been a mistake. Instead I poured a fresh cup of coffee and went outside. I was greeted by a muggy, cloudy day, half expecting a downpour to begin before I could get to my truck.
My list of things to do has grown daily for the past two weeks. That meant deciding on what to do first, keeping in mind how I felt. My first thought was to go back to bed and be a "weenie" for the rest of the day but I had something I wanted to do that canceled that idea.
i had picked up my new computer the day before and I certainly wanted to get it going as soon as possible tom see what it could do. I had been waiting on this computer for several years. It is the first "new" computer I have ever owned since 1992 when I began fooling around with these things.
To those of you that enjoy computers you will appreciate what I have but for those of you that don't have any idea what comprises a media computer you probably really don't care. Either way I can only say I was excited to get it plugged in and operating.
The day progressed but I was making slow progress in comparison to the norm. I got a sump pump working that had been out of service since last year and put it back in the storm shelter. Accomplishing something positive always perks me up, so I moved on to the next item on the list. Success again! I was on a roll!
It didn't seem like it but I worked through the day before I realized it was over.
That was my signal to shower and head for the studio.
Arriving just before sundown I unloaded the computer and had it up and running in less than an hour.
The new video card threw me a curve and I found out that I could only hook up one monitor for the time being because it has the new hookups in the back, so I had to settle for a single monitor. I began installing the software and settled in for the long run. I was racing a storm coming in from the west so I put in what I thought would be the most important programs and found them going in just right. I have had some real issues with installing programs in the past so this part of the process was most pleasant; not having any holdups.
I'm waiting for a large program to finish loading and I'll call it a day.
I have to stop at this point and give thanks for such a huge blessing. God is so awesome! He knows how to not only make us happy, He knows how to inspire. I dedicate this "tool" to the work that the Lord has for us to accomplish. May it serve us well and may we always remember how God made it possible.
I love it!
It has everything I asked for..... even the new car smell.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
...keep on keepin on...
I got bad news. I had been counting on a project for some time now that entailed a lot of creativity and detail and I believed that I just was the one for the job.
However the email read that they had found a 'program' that does the work and were having "such fun" doing it that they wouldn't need me afterall. It was all rather matter of fact and tactless actually.
Needless to say the taste in my mouth was a bit off at that point but I dutifully emailed my blessings and well wishes and clicked "send".
Why is it we can get so wrapped up in things only to have them unravel right before our very eyes and never know it was coming? Now that I look back on it, I should have seen this one way out there.
Earlier today I found myself slightly reeling from either the heat in the room, my blood sugar or the din of a new set of drums being played in close proximity. It could have been a combination of the three come to think of it. I have to admit the drums are beautiful, made of a special wood and everything. I just couldn't take the volume from where I was standing.
I couldn't remember the tune to several of the songs we have played before and the people's voices seemed 'far away' and I found myself wondering if I should even be there. Everyone else was alright, it was just me. I was out of place and out of sorts and in need of a hug....
I just threw in that last part about the hug. It sounded good in my head so I wrote it down....
Life never is the same is it? I mean, we just have to be ready for the changes and keep the beat no matter what comes down the pike. I know that I just have to keep 'strokin' and not let all these "little things" put a dent in my bumper. Isn't that the way of it? Our lives are going to make turns and have dips and surprises and all that stuff; we just have to keep on keepin on....
However the email read that they had found a 'program' that does the work and were having "such fun" doing it that they wouldn't need me afterall. It was all rather matter of fact and tactless actually.
Needless to say the taste in my mouth was a bit off at that point but I dutifully emailed my blessings and well wishes and clicked "send".
Why is it we can get so wrapped up in things only to have them unravel right before our very eyes and never know it was coming? Now that I look back on it, I should have seen this one way out there.
Earlier today I found myself slightly reeling from either the heat in the room, my blood sugar or the din of a new set of drums being played in close proximity. It could have been a combination of the three come to think of it. I have to admit the drums are beautiful, made of a special wood and everything. I just couldn't take the volume from where I was standing.
I couldn't remember the tune to several of the songs we have played before and the people's voices seemed 'far away' and I found myself wondering if I should even be there. Everyone else was alright, it was just me. I was out of place and out of sorts and in need of a hug....
I just threw in that last part about the hug. It sounded good in my head so I wrote it down....
Life never is the same is it? I mean, we just have to be ready for the changes and keep the beat no matter what comes down the pike. I know that I just have to keep 'strokin' and not let all these "little things" put a dent in my bumper. Isn't that the way of it? Our lives are going to make turns and have dips and surprises and all that stuff; we just have to keep on keepin on....
Saturday, April 13, 2013
"on ...to better things"
I finally got to a finishing point on a job thinking the issue was resolved only to find out that I had created a problem, yes a new one, while fixing the old one. What!
How many times do I have to do something before I learn to watch what I'm doing at the critical moments so I don't repeat this very same scenario over and over? I could kick myself in the you know what. No, not there, the other place.
Saturdays are supposed to be devoted to fun and relaxation but nooo, I have to change out a hot water tank and get smelly and dirty like I am during the week. Waaa!
Yes, I would very much like some cheese with this whine, please.
Now that, that is over with, I can move on ...to better things....
How many times do I have to do something before I learn to watch what I'm doing at the critical moments so I don't repeat this very same scenario over and over? I could kick myself in the you know what. No, not there, the other place.
Saturdays are supposed to be devoted to fun and relaxation but nooo, I have to change out a hot water tank and get smelly and dirty like I am during the week. Waaa!
Yes, I would very much like some cheese with this whine, please.
Now that, that is over with, I can move on ...to better things....
Friday, April 12, 2013
... it will come
I find myself reflecting on past events more often. Is that due to my age or my mental state? The ever changing pace of the day to day often becomes a whirlwind as I get caught up in the moment's activity and lose my place. I yearn for the work here at the studio more and more. I miss the days of progress here and the communication with all the places around the globe that I used to keep up with on a weekly basis. I barely remember some of the names now. How sad. They are such good people and friends to boot.
I will get back here; more often and with more accomplished. No more "making time" , I'll schedule time and I'll see it succeed. It has been too long.
The music will bring me here as well. We have over a dozen new songs that are replaying in my mind all the time. "Play me", they say as I listen for the changes and the arrangements and the sounds that are being born in my brain as they grow like little strong plants eagerly waiting to bear fruit.
I feel the books too. Like tiny seeds germinating in the soil of my mind; not quite an idea or a phrase but some miniscule vibration just below the surface of my thoughts.
I feel pent up like an animal that needs to roam free again after being caught in a trap in the winter and now seeing the Spring blooming.
I don't think I have ever appreciated freedom more than I do right this moment, knowing I don't have it the way I see it in my mind.
... it will come
Saturday, April 6, 2013
... or we'll never make a difference
I answered the phone and heard a voice from so long ago. I had been the mentor and big brother and even one of the reasons he had moved away, but there he was again.
I can't recall how many times I had thought of him and where he might be. Prison ...a graveyard, no, surely not.
Our conversation was short but sweet. He had finally grown up and sounded 'well'. It encouraged me. I could look back on that time and see how stressful it was to deal with those young men and me still wet behind the ears even though I was over thirty at the time. There is no telling how many mistakes I made with them. My heart was in the right place but I had no compass to go by, only my gut feelings and my trusting in the Lord to guide me through to a good conclusion. The successes were few and sometimes far between but we did have some. And one of them was showing up to give testimony to God's greatness and mercy.
"Thank God for forgiveness", he said more than once during his visit. It was evident that he had been through alot and yet he had come out smelling like a rose. Not many can do that, especially when you know the circumstances and the people that were in his life at the time. So much damage and, there again, so much healing.
We both marveled at what we had experienced whether alone or together and gave God the credit for the successes; blaming the evil one for the bad.
I don't know how you grew up but I'm sure there are times you would rather forget. Don't. Those memories may serve you well in a conversation in the not too distant future as you do your best to relate to someone that really needs to hear that you're not nearly a saint but a forgiven sinner that knows on which side his or her bread is buttered. We have to be transparent or we'll never make a difference.
I can't recall how many times I had thought of him and where he might be. Prison ...a graveyard, no, surely not.
Our conversation was short but sweet. He had finally grown up and sounded 'well'. It encouraged me. I could look back on that time and see how stressful it was to deal with those young men and me still wet behind the ears even though I was over thirty at the time. There is no telling how many mistakes I made with them. My heart was in the right place but I had no compass to go by, only my gut feelings and my trusting in the Lord to guide me through to a good conclusion. The successes were few and sometimes far between but we did have some. And one of them was showing up to give testimony to God's greatness and mercy.
"Thank God for forgiveness", he said more than once during his visit. It was evident that he had been through alot and yet he had come out smelling like a rose. Not many can do that, especially when you know the circumstances and the people that were in his life at the time. So much damage and, there again, so much healing.
We both marveled at what we had experienced whether alone or together and gave God the credit for the successes; blaming the evil one for the bad.
I don't know how you grew up but I'm sure there are times you would rather forget. Don't. Those memories may serve you well in a conversation in the not too distant future as you do your best to relate to someone that really needs to hear that you're not nearly a saint but a forgiven sinner that knows on which side his or her bread is buttered. We have to be transparent or we'll never make a difference.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
... just feeling my way?
I awoke to the sounds of a gentle rain on the rooftop. It was soothing. I can't recall the last rain we had but it too must have made a similar sound even though I don't remember it being so comforting.
Di and I haven't slept soundly in a long time. The business of life has been pressing in on us of late and taking it's toll on the both of us. I know Di has been so busy that she hasn't had nearly as much time to 'go to the lake' as before. I like to see her get that 'alone time' with Lord. It makes all the difference in how she addresses the issues that present themselves each day; in rapid succession I might add.
Our lives are so much different now. When it was just the two of us we came and went as we pleased and made plans on the spur of the moment and more or less 'glided through'.
Not now. Being responsible for so many things, we have to plan out our moves much more carefully and do our best to stick to the plan or we get bogged down in the everyday turmoil and it ends up sapping all of our strength. I never that having to be so organized and in control would change us so much. It's disheartening in a way. The 'out of the blue' decisions are very much a thing of the past it seems.
I have to be aware of everything around us instead of just letting life happen as we did before. And I don't think I like it nearly as much as I did when we were less responsible and more unpredictable.
But "that's the way it is", as Walter would say and I'll just have to adjust to it and find the joy in whatever comes our way.
Oh but wasn't it fun; when I was just ...feeling my way?
Di and I haven't slept soundly in a long time. The business of life has been pressing in on us of late and taking it's toll on the both of us. I know Di has been so busy that she hasn't had nearly as much time to 'go to the lake' as before. I like to see her get that 'alone time' with Lord. It makes all the difference in how she addresses the issues that present themselves each day; in rapid succession I might add.
Our lives are so much different now. When it was just the two of us we came and went as we pleased and made plans on the spur of the moment and more or less 'glided through'.
Not now. Being responsible for so many things, we have to plan out our moves much more carefully and do our best to stick to the plan or we get bogged down in the everyday turmoil and it ends up sapping all of our strength. I never that having to be so organized and in control would change us so much. It's disheartening in a way. The 'out of the blue' decisions are very much a thing of the past it seems.
I have to be aware of everything around us instead of just letting life happen as we did before. And I don't think I like it nearly as much as I did when we were less responsible and more unpredictable.
But "that's the way it is", as Walter would say and I'll just have to adjust to it and find the joy in whatever comes our way.
Oh but wasn't it fun; when I was just ...feeling my way?
Saturday, March 16, 2013
...it shouldn't take but a miniute
I just go off the phone with my computer tech.
"The machine is ready."
Di's computer went down a few weeks ago and I took it in for a check up. She hadn't run the anti-virus as she should and so it got infected; badly.
After several trips into town and about $300 in parts I think; 'think' mind you, that we will finally get it back.
Each time I talked to the tech he would say it was ready... except for a few 'simple, last minute tests' and we should be able to come 'that day' and pick it up.
"It shouldn't take but a minute"....
The trip is about thirty miles one way. After my fourth trip into town to take more parts, I began to figure out the actual cost of this little adventure and if I take into consideration the money, my time, Di's time, the tech's time and food; you have to eat, I will have spent a little under the national debt. Okay, not quite, but close.
Isn't it funny how we seem to know what to do and then "it" happens. Whatever "it" is you can figure on a higher cost factor.
I bought a guitar pedal, no wait, Di bought a guitar pedal. It was supposed to 'create' the sound I have been searching for on my acoustic guitar for over thirty years. Not that easy. I had to add an Acoustic amp to the scenario and I still don't have the sound. A friend of mine bought the exact same pedal and an acoustic amp (different brand) and got the exact sound I want. Am I going to have to buy the other amp to get what I want or can I 'set' the pedal and amp settings and get the sound?
Time will tell, but I can almost certainly predict that it will cost a little more in the end.
Di is on her way to pick up the computer as I write this little note.
She is taking a food basket along with her to give to the tech as a blessing and pick up the topic of my choice for the day, and return once again; ...it shouldn't take but a minute.
"The machine is ready."
Di's computer went down a few weeks ago and I took it in for a check up. She hadn't run the anti-virus as she should and so it got infected; badly.
After several trips into town and about $300 in parts I think; 'think' mind you, that we will finally get it back.
Each time I talked to the tech he would say it was ready... except for a few 'simple, last minute tests' and we should be able to come 'that day' and pick it up.
"It shouldn't take but a minute"....
The trip is about thirty miles one way. After my fourth trip into town to take more parts, I began to figure out the actual cost of this little adventure and if I take into consideration the money, my time, Di's time, the tech's time and food; you have to eat, I will have spent a little under the national debt. Okay, not quite, but close.
Isn't it funny how we seem to know what to do and then "it" happens. Whatever "it" is you can figure on a higher cost factor.
I bought a guitar pedal, no wait, Di bought a guitar pedal. It was supposed to 'create' the sound I have been searching for on my acoustic guitar for over thirty years. Not that easy. I had to add an Acoustic amp to the scenario and I still don't have the sound. A friend of mine bought the exact same pedal and an acoustic amp (different brand) and got the exact sound I want. Am I going to have to buy the other amp to get what I want or can I 'set' the pedal and amp settings and get the sound?
Time will tell, but I can almost certainly predict that it will cost a little more in the end.
Di is on her way to pick up the computer as I write this little note.
She is taking a food basket along with her to give to the tech as a blessing and pick up the topic of my choice for the day, and return once again; ...it shouldn't take but a minute.
Friday, March 8, 2013
... for far better venues
I awoke late. Not that it mattered, I just wanted to be up and about much earlier to get things done around the park and be able to get to the studio.
I am pleased that I have more to do in the studio these days. I have been studying HTML of late. For those of you that don't know what that means, it's short for computer code. I didn't realize how much thought has gone into making computers work. The genius behind what goes on is mind boggling to say the least. I hope to catch up a bit in this all important area and be able to make better websites for everyone in the not too distant future. I am going to concentrate on specific areas instead of the broader spectrum I have been addressing. I don't much care for the 'techy' stuff that has all the math in it. I am drawn to the 'artsy' part and the musical part; the poetic.
None the less I have to learn some of the 'techy' stuff to get to the artsy.... wouldn't ya know it?
But that's okay to, I'll do what I have to in order to get there. I am thoroughly fed up with the manual labor part; that goes without saying. This old body has done it's share in that department. It's time for some 'brain work' and let the old 'brawn' rest.
If all goes well, within the next few months I'll have made enough progress to put the manual labor job aside for far better venues.
I am pleased that I have more to do in the studio these days. I have been studying HTML of late. For those of you that don't know what that means, it's short for computer code. I didn't realize how much thought has gone into making computers work. The genius behind what goes on is mind boggling to say the least. I hope to catch up a bit in this all important area and be able to make better websites for everyone in the not too distant future. I am going to concentrate on specific areas instead of the broader spectrum I have been addressing. I don't much care for the 'techy' stuff that has all the math in it. I am drawn to the 'artsy' part and the musical part; the poetic.
None the less I have to learn some of the 'techy' stuff to get to the artsy.... wouldn't ya know it?
But that's okay to, I'll do what I have to in order to get there. I am thoroughly fed up with the manual labor part; that goes without saying. This old body has done it's share in that department. It's time for some 'brain work' and let the old 'brawn' rest.
If all goes well, within the next few months I'll have made enough progress to put the manual labor job aside for far better venues.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
... where does it go?
I looked up; the clock had 'jumped' another hour without my knowing it. I knew I was in trouble again when the phone rang.
"You said 'a half hour' over an hour ago...."
"I know, I know I just lost track of time.... I'm sorry."
You would think after almost thirty years of marriage I would be able to keep better track of time when it comes to making it home for dinner on time. But I don't. I only seem to get worse as times passes. It's a good thing I have such an amazing woman to take care of me the way she does. And it's a wonder my butt doesn't 'fall off'' or get left somewhere... if you consider the old saying about "losing your butt".
I suppose I love the work so much I just get lost in the moment and it turns into several hours before I realize it. I don't have this problem when I'm under a trailer fixing a water leak. Time drags on like a bad cold when I'm fixing leaks.
I just read for over an hour and it seems as though I just sat down a few minutes ago. I'm studying HTML code to become a better web builder.With this 'work', I never seem to have enough time.
Have you ever actually thought about time? How does it work? How does it measure itself? When does it know when it's late... or early for that matter?
And when it's gone.... where does it go?
"You said 'a half hour' over an hour ago...."
"I know, I know I just lost track of time.... I'm sorry."
You would think after almost thirty years of marriage I would be able to keep better track of time when it comes to making it home for dinner on time. But I don't. I only seem to get worse as times passes. It's a good thing I have such an amazing woman to take care of me the way she does. And it's a wonder my butt doesn't 'fall off'' or get left somewhere... if you consider the old saying about "losing your butt".
I suppose I love the work so much I just get lost in the moment and it turns into several hours before I realize it. I don't have this problem when I'm under a trailer fixing a water leak. Time drags on like a bad cold when I'm fixing leaks.
I just read for over an hour and it seems as though I just sat down a few minutes ago. I'm studying HTML code to become a better web builder.With this 'work', I never seem to have enough time.
Have you ever actually thought about time? How does it work? How does it measure itself? When does it know when it's late... or early for that matter?
And when it's gone.... where does it go?
Saturday, February 23, 2013
...and it was there
I arrived at the studio to do some much needed work on the websites.
I didn't want to fall too far behind on them but I had. The problem with getting behind is the time it takes to get "into gear" and actually make some progress. With so many tasks to choose from, I mentally flipped a coin and dug in.
After a few hours I happened to be checking my email when I ran across a devotional I subscribe to and was drawn in. The words made me feel like shutting everything down and going off to some secluded spot and just sit. I haven't done that in ages and it's way overdue.
Instead I picked up my pen and began to write. Before I knew it I had penned a whole verse and part of another. For awhile I thought the rest would come but it didn't so I returned to my labors and put it out of my mind for the time being.
The afternoon went by quickly and I began a weekly scan to clean up the computer. I was given a message that the computer would be running a scan for awhile and I thought of the unfinished song laying there on my desk. This would be a good time to take another look at it.
Leaving my desk, I went downstairs and picked up my guitar. Plugging in the cord was quick "one, two" and soon the sound filled the sanctuary.
The tune didn't come right away but it did come and I began to sing the verse.
I don't know about you but there is something 'magical' about writing a song. Not the bad magic like you see in a Harry Potter movie, the 'good magic' that comes from inspiration deep within the spirit; that God gift.
I don't know why he chooses me for these special moments but I certainly recognize the gratitude and humility that rises up in me as the song comes to life on the page and in my hands as I strum along haltingly at first and then boldly. Unless you're a songwriter or a poet or a carpenter or a sculptor or... how many other kinds of people get these 'gifts', I don't know that you can understand what I mean, but it's glorious and more.
At first there is nothing there and then it's there; complete and beautiful and sweet and strong.
I had no idea until I looked ...and it was there.
I didn't want to fall too far behind on them but I had. The problem with getting behind is the time it takes to get "into gear" and actually make some progress. With so many tasks to choose from, I mentally flipped a coin and dug in.
After a few hours I happened to be checking my email when I ran across a devotional I subscribe to and was drawn in. The words made me feel like shutting everything down and going off to some secluded spot and just sit. I haven't done that in ages and it's way overdue.
Instead I picked up my pen and began to write. Before I knew it I had penned a whole verse and part of another. For awhile I thought the rest would come but it didn't so I returned to my labors and put it out of my mind for the time being.
The afternoon went by quickly and I began a weekly scan to clean up the computer. I was given a message that the computer would be running a scan for awhile and I thought of the unfinished song laying there on my desk. This would be a good time to take another look at it.
Leaving my desk, I went downstairs and picked up my guitar. Plugging in the cord was quick "one, two" and soon the sound filled the sanctuary.
The tune didn't come right away but it did come and I began to sing the verse.
I don't know about you but there is something 'magical' about writing a song. Not the bad magic like you see in a Harry Potter movie, the 'good magic' that comes from inspiration deep within the spirit; that God gift.
I don't know why he chooses me for these special moments but I certainly recognize the gratitude and humility that rises up in me as the song comes to life on the page and in my hands as I strum along haltingly at first and then boldly. Unless you're a songwriter or a poet or a carpenter or a sculptor or... how many other kinds of people get these 'gifts', I don't know that you can understand what I mean, but it's glorious and more.
At first there is nothing there and then it's there; complete and beautiful and sweet and strong.
I had no idea until I looked ...and it was there.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
...how hard do I have to push?
Is it just me or have certain tasks become harder to finish? Tasks that ordinarily take a day have become a lot longer. I am finishing up on a CD project for a client that did a project in the studio a couple of years ago. I made 100 CDs at the time and got them out to her in just over one day. This time it has taken me three days to complete the same amount of CDs and that doesn't count a delay regarding a printing issue. I can only surmise that I have so many irons in the fire it just takes longer to get to a project than before and gathering materials takes more time and effort as well.
I have to marvel at the Lord's blessings. Where once I had only a few things to accomplish in a week, I now have dozens and they seemingly get done on or near deadline; but it takes longer to do them.
How does that work? I do more in less time but it takes longer to do the job. I think it's 'workflow'.
I plan better than I used to and I gather pars up in advance of a job and keep more supplies on hand anticipating the next project and what it will take to get it done.
I'll soon be 64 years old. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the funny face looking back at me and then I wonder where I went and who is this ugly old man staring at me so intently? I don't feel nearly as old as I look but I certainly can't do a lot of the things I used to do so easily and so quickly.
Do the words "uphill battle" sound strangely familiar to anyone? They do to me. My next question about what I'll do next is ..."how do I get there from here", and ... how hard do I have to push?
I have to marvel at the Lord's blessings. Where once I had only a few things to accomplish in a week, I now have dozens and they seemingly get done on or near deadline; but it takes longer to do them.
How does that work? I do more in less time but it takes longer to do the job. I think it's 'workflow'.
I plan better than I used to and I gather pars up in advance of a job and keep more supplies on hand anticipating the next project and what it will take to get it done.
I'll soon be 64 years old. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the funny face looking back at me and then I wonder where I went and who is this ugly old man staring at me so intently? I don't feel nearly as old as I look but I certainly can't do a lot of the things I used to do so easily and so quickly.
Do the words "uphill battle" sound strangely familiar to anyone? They do to me. My next question about what I'll do next is ..."how do I get there from here", and ... how hard do I have to push?
Saturday, February 16, 2013
... what keeps you going?
I got up and downed a good cup of coffee and headed for the studio.
This would be the first time I had recorded with my new pedal and I wanted to see what it would or would not do. The recording wasn't a big deal, in and of itself, it was the fact that I was recording at all. I hadn't done any music on my own in months. Yes, I have been working on a few projects with other people but I was producing and engineering and not actually playing. This would be a good test.
I took my time getting everything ready and even turned the heat up so that the room was good and cozy and then turned it off and settled into the chair.
I tried a few settings and then hit the record button and began playing. Oh man, it was 'nice'. I don't have 'the sound' yet, but it will come. I can't decide whether or not to even use the pedal. "Lil Brownie" sounds so good on his own.
I stopped for a time to rest my hand and went on to more mundane tasks for awhile eventually returning to the board for a second go at it. It was better but still not what I had hoped for. I can see that it will take a bit of tweaking to get there, but that's the beauty of recording for me. The pure sound; catching it as it happens and listening back to a passage that swells and then descends and then swells again. I only hope I can do justice to the songs. We have been given some wonderful new material of late, some of which were 'born on stage' just before a service began. You'll ever know how hard it was to stay up there and play the 'regular music' our group does on Sunday mornings when a "new one" has arrived and needs 'tending'. There's nothing like the burst of energy that comes alive as a song takes shape and spreads it's wings for the first time; haltingly flapping ... gaining height and distance until it soars across the heavens and announces itself!
They're like little children to me, each in it's own right, each in it's own 'shell', each in it's own world. I marvel at the thought of where they came from and how I got to be the one that 'found it'.
...what keeps you going?
This would be the first time I had recorded with my new pedal and I wanted to see what it would or would not do. The recording wasn't a big deal, in and of itself, it was the fact that I was recording at all. I hadn't done any music on my own in months. Yes, I have been working on a few projects with other people but I was producing and engineering and not actually playing. This would be a good test.
I took my time getting everything ready and even turned the heat up so that the room was good and cozy and then turned it off and settled into the chair.
I tried a few settings and then hit the record button and began playing. Oh man, it was 'nice'. I don't have 'the sound' yet, but it will come. I can't decide whether or not to even use the pedal. "Lil Brownie" sounds so good on his own.
I stopped for a time to rest my hand and went on to more mundane tasks for awhile eventually returning to the board for a second go at it. It was better but still not what I had hoped for. I can see that it will take a bit of tweaking to get there, but that's the beauty of recording for me. The pure sound; catching it as it happens and listening back to a passage that swells and then descends and then swells again. I only hope I can do justice to the songs. We have been given some wonderful new material of late, some of which were 'born on stage' just before a service began. You'll ever know how hard it was to stay up there and play the 'regular music' our group does on Sunday mornings when a "new one" has arrived and needs 'tending'. There's nothing like the burst of energy that comes alive as a song takes shape and spreads it's wings for the first time; haltingly flapping ... gaining height and distance until it soars across the heavens and announces itself!
They're like little children to me, each in it's own right, each in it's own 'shell', each in it's own world. I marvel at the thought of where they came from and how I got to be the one that 'found it'.
...what keeps you going?
Friday, February 15, 2013
... and then we make it harder.
I listened to my grandson complain about having to write an essay on the blues. His approach was that he didn't like the blues and therefore why should he have to write about it?
How often do we use that poor excuse in our daily lives? "I don't like (something) so I shouldn't have to do it."
What would it have been like if Jesus didn't like something; let's say for instance healing people? How many people would die because of that?
I find myself looking at this with different eyes. There are so many things I don't like. What if I didn't do them just because I don't like them?
People have a leak underneath their trailer. I don't like going under trailers so I don't fix the leak. What happens then? Does the leak "go away"? Does it fix itself? If I ignore it long enough, will it get better on it's own?
Our stubborn selfishness really does hurt us in more ways than we know.
I think that's one of the reasons God wants us to do "spiritual push ups". If we 'suffer' a little we get stronger and become more and more capable of handling tougher things that will surely come our way sooner or later.
The alternative is bleak at best. If everything is left undone that we "don't like"; well then what's the end result? More things that we don't like.
I think we complain far too much about little things ... and then we make it harder.
How often do we use that poor excuse in our daily lives? "I don't like (something) so I shouldn't have to do it."
What would it have been like if Jesus didn't like something; let's say for instance healing people? How many people would die because of that?
I find myself looking at this with different eyes. There are so many things I don't like. What if I didn't do them just because I don't like them?
People have a leak underneath their trailer. I don't like going under trailers so I don't fix the leak. What happens then? Does the leak "go away"? Does it fix itself? If I ignore it long enough, will it get better on it's own?
Our stubborn selfishness really does hurt us in more ways than we know.
I think that's one of the reasons God wants us to do "spiritual push ups". If we 'suffer' a little we get stronger and become more and more capable of handling tougher things that will surely come our way sooner or later.
The alternative is bleak at best. If everything is left undone that we "don't like"; well then what's the end result? More things that we don't like.
I think we complain far too much about little things ... and then we make it harder.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
new friends are so much fun
I got an email from a friend that she was opening her first blog.
She has taken on a "persona" as a french artist from the 1860's and so I encouraged her to do a blog and "write the story" of the character as if it were currently happening but in the time period of her character, "Constance Bleuvert".
She has a website for her art and it has been a real treat to see her add pieces on a regular basis. You can easily see the ever improving style emerging along with her keen eye for detail and choice of media.
This latest venture is very promising due to the fact that she is also encompassing a style that is fast becoming the new avant garde; Steampunk.
I have looked up the term and am quite amazed at the beauty and skill and "atmosphere" generated by this newly evolving art form.
And so I answered my new friends blog using my French pronunciation, Jean, instead of John, to play along as it were. One never gets to old for make believe you know.
New friends are so much fun.
She has taken on a "persona" as a french artist from the 1860's and so I encouraged her to do a blog and "write the story" of the character as if it were currently happening but in the time period of her character, "Constance Bleuvert".
She has a website for her art and it has been a real treat to see her add pieces on a regular basis. You can easily see the ever improving style emerging along with her keen eye for detail and choice of media.
This latest venture is very promising due to the fact that she is also encompassing a style that is fast becoming the new avant garde; Steampunk.
I have looked up the term and am quite amazed at the beauty and skill and "atmosphere" generated by this newly evolving art form.
And so I answered my new friends blog using my French pronunciation, Jean, instead of John, to play along as it were. One never gets to old for make believe you know.
New friends are so much fun.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
...and so we look forward not back.
I get up in the morning and look for my shoes and socks and a cup of fresh coffee, hoping my eyes will fully open before I have to head out the door for the day. Why is it that some people are wide awake in the mornings while others like me are quasi-confused for the first half hour or longer?
I love the early mornings that have that ray of sunshine piercing the slats of the window shade. It is so clean and powerful and yes, even inspiring. The motivation of being able to see clearly and cleanly without a fog or cloudiness blocking the vision gives me a sense of well being and comfort.
Sipping that first sip of good strong brew so expertly made by my beautiful one adds to the invigoration as well. I actually look forward to what is coming even though it may be an excursion underneath a wet and nasty trailer to repair that recently discovered leak; which more often than not has been oozing water for over a month.
"looking forward"; what an expression. We 'look back', 'look back on', look forward', 'look forward to'; and more, but I seem to linger on the look forward. I know that we aren't supposed to 'worry' about tomorrow and I normally don't but I do "look forward" a lot. I look forward to what I will be doing on the weekend or what I'll be playing at the next church service and of course I look forward to what Di is cooking quite a bit.
Looking back has too many disadvantages. I have too much history to make any sense of the looking back practice. There are just too many skeletons in that closet; many of which I detest and frankly refuse to visit ever again.
I am so glad that I am forgiven and restored. The Potter has done a work here and I intend to keep it intact and operating at maximum efficiency if at all possible.
I suppose that's why I look forward as much as I do.
...and so we look forward and not back
I love the early mornings that have that ray of sunshine piercing the slats of the window shade. It is so clean and powerful and yes, even inspiring. The motivation of being able to see clearly and cleanly without a fog or cloudiness blocking the vision gives me a sense of well being and comfort.
Sipping that first sip of good strong brew so expertly made by my beautiful one adds to the invigoration as well. I actually look forward to what is coming even though it may be an excursion underneath a wet and nasty trailer to repair that recently discovered leak; which more often than not has been oozing water for over a month.
"looking forward"; what an expression. We 'look back', 'look back on', look forward', 'look forward to'; and more, but I seem to linger on the look forward. I know that we aren't supposed to 'worry' about tomorrow and I normally don't but I do "look forward" a lot. I look forward to what I will be doing on the weekend or what I'll be playing at the next church service and of course I look forward to what Di is cooking quite a bit.
Looking back has too many disadvantages. I have too much history to make any sense of the looking back practice. There are just too many skeletons in that closet; many of which I detest and frankly refuse to visit ever again.
I am so glad that I am forgiven and restored. The Potter has done a work here and I intend to keep it intact and operating at maximum efficiency if at all possible.
I suppose that's why I look forward as much as I do.
...and so we look forward and not back
Monday, February 4, 2013
... and we shall receive.
I have been working about 40 hours a week at the park. It all but drains me by the end of the week to the point of not having any energy to do other things. I need to be at the studio a certain amount of the time to address website issues, record, goof off.... With no energy comes no inspiration and very little progress so I began to ask the Lord for a split in the time; devoting half of the time to the park and the other half to the studio.
This past week at the studio I got an order for 200 CDs, a short recording session and some work on a website, all of which paid. That made as much as I would have made in a whole week working at the park and took less than 15 hours to complete.
Don't ever think that God isn't listening to our prayers, because he is.
Trust is such valuable commodity. If it is in place, all we have to do is ask .... and we shall receive.
This past week at the studio I got an order for 200 CDs, a short recording session and some work on a website, all of which paid. That made as much as I would have made in a whole week working at the park and took less than 15 hours to complete.
Don't ever think that God isn't listening to our prayers, because he is.
Trust is such valuable commodity. If it is in place, all we have to do is ask .... and we shall receive.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Will it really come back to me?
I have played guitar for over 45 years. I'm not very good at it mind you, but I love it so. For some time now I have wondered if I could recapture the form I once had when in my 30's and 40's I could easily play for hours upon end and still have something left. But when I began to play as part of the worship team at church I soon realized that I wasn't in very good shape musically. By the end of a normal service my hands would be hurting and the deep grooves in my fingers actually hurt. I wondered then if I could even play through a whole service without breaking down and having to stop.
About that time we lost our piano player and I became the main instrument. We have a very strong Bass player and a good drummer, which helps a great deal, but I just did not have the "chops" I once enjoyed and it was evident.
I even began to wonder if my playing days were coming to a close. Would I be able to hold up under the weight of such a position or would I have to bow out and pray for someone to take my place on the team?
To date, I have been able to do what has been asked of me almost to the letter. I have had some musical issues, like not knowing enough chords to make a song entirely right, but for the most, I have 'run the race'.
My hands take a beating but I do believe that I am gaining on the challenge, perhaps even making some headway. I spent about half an hour in the sanctuary alone tonight, going over a couple of new songs and I feel good about them.
I have to say at this point that it has to be God's grace that keeps me going. Nothing else can explain the improvement because nothing has really changed unless you take into consideration my attitude about it all. I grumbled at first but then I realized that I had a chance to 'play' again and nothing is better than that. Like I said, I love it so. God continues to give Dianna and I new songs and new ways to present them so I guess he's not done with me yet.
I am reminded of a statement my friend Jack always uses when he's presented with a new challenge and things aren't going well. He's over 80 years old and still going strong. He says, "Never give up!"
About that time we lost our piano player and I became the main instrument. We have a very strong Bass player and a good drummer, which helps a great deal, but I just did not have the "chops" I once enjoyed and it was evident.
I even began to wonder if my playing days were coming to a close. Would I be able to hold up under the weight of such a position or would I have to bow out and pray for someone to take my place on the team?
To date, I have been able to do what has been asked of me almost to the letter. I have had some musical issues, like not knowing enough chords to make a song entirely right, but for the most, I have 'run the race'.
My hands take a beating but I do believe that I am gaining on the challenge, perhaps even making some headway. I spent about half an hour in the sanctuary alone tonight, going over a couple of new songs and I feel good about them.
I have to say at this point that it has to be God's grace that keeps me going. Nothing else can explain the improvement because nothing has really changed unless you take into consideration my attitude about it all. I grumbled at first but then I realized that I had a chance to 'play' again and nothing is better than that. Like I said, I love it so. God continues to give Dianna and I new songs and new ways to present them so I guess he's not done with me yet.
I am reminded of a statement my friend Jack always uses when he's presented with a new challenge and things aren't going well. He's over 80 years old and still going strong. He says, "Never give up!"
Monday, January 28, 2013
it's been how long?
I was recently reminded that I hadn't written anything in my Blog this year by my beautiful wife. Her gentle urging sunk in and I promised myself that I would pay closer attention to what is going on around me and come up with something to blog about that may be of interest.
It didn't take me long to figure out that I had a lot of things to share, but which one should I chose?
My grandson comes to the top of the list almost immediately and so I have devoted this segment of my thoughts to him.
My wife and I have been his guardians for a couple of years now and thankfully things have settled down into somewhat of a regular pattern even with those notable exceptions that all teens have to exhibit from time to time.
Overall I couldn't ask for a better helper when it comes to doing the daily chores around the park and his general attitude has greatly improved from what is was in the beginning. I don't really have any negatives to relate and that's a good thing.
I have often wondered just what it was that set things in motion for me as teen. What I mean by that odd statement is what was the catalyst that sent me in the direction I chose to go when I had so many choices back then. If there ever was a unique beginning to one's teenage years mine has to take first prize.
I don't mean that I was a prize, far from it. I am saying that there were many extraordinary circumstances that played a huge part in how and why I did a lot of the things I did. Those 'adventures' in life were as varied as the company I kept at any given moment and bear telling, but not here, not now. Maybe at some later date when I can sit down and pull them all apart and examine them one at a time. We'll see.
But back to the subject at hand. My grandson is a marvel ... yes, a marvel.
I don't know of anyone that is brighter or quicker on his feet than he and when it comes to covering his "assets", he is already a pro. I could relate many stories of catching him in a "little white lie" here and there because you would have thought that he had rehearsed a play by the dialogue he comes up with on a moment's notice ... out of the blue and if I didn't know better I would have believed every word.... but like I say, I know better.
I don't want to paint a dreary picture here, I just want to make things clear. He is extraordinary in many ways and I have the highest of hopes for him in the future... but I am after all a realist too.
In retrospect, I would have to say that I am so much the better for having known him and having spent as many hours as I have close by. I have learned a great deal and expect to learn a great deal more before it's all said and done.
If you get the chance to meet him, don't pass it up.... but don't tell him I told you.
It didn't take me long to figure out that I had a lot of things to share, but which one should I chose?
My grandson comes to the top of the list almost immediately and so I have devoted this segment of my thoughts to him.
My wife and I have been his guardians for a couple of years now and thankfully things have settled down into somewhat of a regular pattern even with those notable exceptions that all teens have to exhibit from time to time.
Overall I couldn't ask for a better helper when it comes to doing the daily chores around the park and his general attitude has greatly improved from what is was in the beginning. I don't really have any negatives to relate and that's a good thing.
I have often wondered just what it was that set things in motion for me as teen. What I mean by that odd statement is what was the catalyst that sent me in the direction I chose to go when I had so many choices back then. If there ever was a unique beginning to one's teenage years mine has to take first prize.
I don't mean that I was a prize, far from it. I am saying that there were many extraordinary circumstances that played a huge part in how and why I did a lot of the things I did. Those 'adventures' in life were as varied as the company I kept at any given moment and bear telling, but not here, not now. Maybe at some later date when I can sit down and pull them all apart and examine them one at a time. We'll see.
But back to the subject at hand. My grandson is a marvel ... yes, a marvel.
I don't know of anyone that is brighter or quicker on his feet than he and when it comes to covering his "assets", he is already a pro. I could relate many stories of catching him in a "little white lie" here and there because you would have thought that he had rehearsed a play by the dialogue he comes up with on a moment's notice ... out of the blue and if I didn't know better I would have believed every word.... but like I say, I know better.
I don't want to paint a dreary picture here, I just want to make things clear. He is extraordinary in many ways and I have the highest of hopes for him in the future... but I am after all a realist too.
In retrospect, I would have to say that I am so much the better for having known him and having spent as many hours as I have close by. I have learned a great deal and expect to learn a great deal more before it's all said and done.
If you get the chance to meet him, don't pass it up.... but don't tell him I told you.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
.... ouch
It pains me to think of my 'former life' with all its mistakes and grief.
I was a bad boy and I liked it, but things are much different now. After coming to my senses, I have a great life, an even greater wife and a family to be part of, and I really would like to keep it that way.
Yesterday I got a call from a relative in trouble. She explained the situation and asked for my help. Heretofore our relationship had basically quietly ended and I thought that I would be the last person in the world she would ever ask for any help. Still, in the back of my mind I wanted to reach out and try to do something for her; even the smallest of gestures to show her that I still loved her and cared about her. I hadn't stopped loving her, it was just better to leave her alone and not get involved in all the drama she instigates on a regular basis. For some reason she has to have some form of confrontation going at all times.
In this case the issue involved a range of things that could be handled in a variety of ways and she was asking for a very strong approach to the problem that had an element of danger to it that I wasn't willing to get into. "The old John" would have relished a good challenge like this but I'm not that person anymore; thank God.
I called a friend that is very familiar with these kinds of issues and got some really sound advice. I then called my relative back and was promptly turned down flat. She didn't want to hear the advice or the listen to the solution my friend had offered, she just wanted 'her way'. The advice was sound and would put her in a position where she could have a much better life and be safe from the "elements" endangering her. As we finished up the conversation I asked her to "think about it and call me back". I'm really not expecting the phone to ring anytime soon with her at the other end of the line.
I can look back on some of the very worst decisions I ever made and more often than not, there was another direction being pointed out to me by some well meaning person sitting on the sideline observing with an unbiased eye.
Why is it that we are so self destructive and selfish? You would think that a person with a better than average IQ could see the way more clearly; especially when it's being pointed out to them by someone that knows all the angles and all the ups and downs and is more often than not a lot smarter.
I hung up the phone thinking to my self, "Well, that's probably the last time she'll call me for help...."
"I love you ...ouch...."
I was a bad boy and I liked it, but things are much different now. After coming to my senses, I have a great life, an even greater wife and a family to be part of, and I really would like to keep it that way.
Yesterday I got a call from a relative in trouble. She explained the situation and asked for my help. Heretofore our relationship had basically quietly ended and I thought that I would be the last person in the world she would ever ask for any help. Still, in the back of my mind I wanted to reach out and try to do something for her; even the smallest of gestures to show her that I still loved her and cared about her. I hadn't stopped loving her, it was just better to leave her alone and not get involved in all the drama she instigates on a regular basis. For some reason she has to have some form of confrontation going at all times.
In this case the issue involved a range of things that could be handled in a variety of ways and she was asking for a very strong approach to the problem that had an element of danger to it that I wasn't willing to get into. "The old John" would have relished a good challenge like this but I'm not that person anymore; thank God.
I called a friend that is very familiar with these kinds of issues and got some really sound advice. I then called my relative back and was promptly turned down flat. She didn't want to hear the advice or the listen to the solution my friend had offered, she just wanted 'her way'. The advice was sound and would put her in a position where she could have a much better life and be safe from the "elements" endangering her. As we finished up the conversation I asked her to "think about it and call me back". I'm really not expecting the phone to ring anytime soon with her at the other end of the line.
I can look back on some of the very worst decisions I ever made and more often than not, there was another direction being pointed out to me by some well meaning person sitting on the sideline observing with an unbiased eye.
Why is it that we are so self destructive and selfish? You would think that a person with a better than average IQ could see the way more clearly; especially when it's being pointed out to them by someone that knows all the angles and all the ups and downs and is more often than not a lot smarter.
I hung up the phone thinking to my self, "Well, that's probably the last time she'll call me for help...."
"I love you ...ouch...."
Thursday, November 15, 2012
... and it just kept blowing
I agreed to meet two friends at an outdoor event for the homeless in downtown OKC last Saturday. I made the short drive to the location just off Broadway and 12th Street and parked. As I entered the gate I noticed that the wind had picked up significantly and was beginning to blow about 30 miles per hour. I thought, "Man, this is going to be a trip if it keeps up like this all day...."
Little did I know that it was just the beginning of our windy woes.
I have lived in Oklahoma for over 25 years now and it isn't news that the wind often blows at a steady pace on certain days, but this was more than just a 'usual' windy day to say the least. I took a few photos of some of the activities with my little digital and as the day progressed I began to notice that all of the pictures were taking on an odd similarity.
Everyone's hair was "pointing" in the same direction; straight out. Depending on which way they were standing, their hair was either in their face or straight back behind them. I have never experienced a wind so constant except for the times I was standing on the side of a mountain in Colorado.
The gusts were around 45 miles per hour for most of the two hours I was there and as I left it seemed as though the wind pressure grew worse rather than better.
I can't say for sure, but I think the weather is changing a great deal of late. The recent storm in the East put almost 3 million people in the dark for several days and I heard a scientist say that the Antarctic area he was studying had risen several feet in last five years. The same radio program went on to tell of how the ice has gone from 30 feet thick in the winter to only 25 feet thick and was often found cracking up into large sheets of moving ice flow.
The Earth is groaning just like the Bible said it would. "...the rocks cry out..."
How can anyone not know that God is trying to get through to us in many ways and yet, for the most part our eyes are blinded from it all. Our ears have become dull of hearing about God and his principles and aspirations for us.The cares of this world supersede our judgement and we take the low road to the worst choices and even at that seem to be oblivious to it all.
I left the event with a sense of loss. The small turnout had disappointed the organizers but I knew why the homeless people hadn't come. They were wiser than the organizers. They had found refuge in some abandoned building or a friends house and stayed out of the elements, conserving energy and resources. They are prepared for the worst; we're not.
As I got into my car I realized that I too had been buffeted by the wind. I looked into the rear view mirror and had to laugh. My hair was standing almost straight up like a collar on a shirt.... and it just kept blowing.
Little did I know that it was just the beginning of our windy woes.
I have lived in Oklahoma for over 25 years now and it isn't news that the wind often blows at a steady pace on certain days, but this was more than just a 'usual' windy day to say the least. I took a few photos of some of the activities with my little digital and as the day progressed I began to notice that all of the pictures were taking on an odd similarity.
Everyone's hair was "pointing" in the same direction; straight out. Depending on which way they were standing, their hair was either in their face or straight back behind them. I have never experienced a wind so constant except for the times I was standing on the side of a mountain in Colorado.
The gusts were around 45 miles per hour for most of the two hours I was there and as I left it seemed as though the wind pressure grew worse rather than better.
I can't say for sure, but I think the weather is changing a great deal of late. The recent storm in the East put almost 3 million people in the dark for several days and I heard a scientist say that the Antarctic area he was studying had risen several feet in last five years. The same radio program went on to tell of how the ice has gone from 30 feet thick in the winter to only 25 feet thick and was often found cracking up into large sheets of moving ice flow.
The Earth is groaning just like the Bible said it would. "...the rocks cry out..."
How can anyone not know that God is trying to get through to us in many ways and yet, for the most part our eyes are blinded from it all. Our ears have become dull of hearing about God and his principles and aspirations for us.The cares of this world supersede our judgement and we take the low road to the worst choices and even at that seem to be oblivious to it all.
I left the event with a sense of loss. The small turnout had disappointed the organizers but I knew why the homeless people hadn't come. They were wiser than the organizers. They had found refuge in some abandoned building or a friends house and stayed out of the elements, conserving energy and resources. They are prepared for the worst; we're not.
As I got into my car I realized that I too had been buffeted by the wind. I looked into the rear view mirror and had to laugh. My hair was standing almost straight up like a collar on a shirt.... and it just kept blowing.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
... you want to do what?
I was informed by a friend that one of his friends wanted to do a website. Good for me because I can always use the work.
We first met online , mailing back and forth and then moved on to the phone to talk about what he wanted in the way of a new site for his business/ ministry. I was happy to help and looked forward to doing the site because I had several ideas that I thought might make the site look really neat.
My first attempts were basically rejected and he went on to give me more details as to his wishes. It didn't bother me that my first work didn't pass inspection, I had been down that road many times. In fact it usually happens that way and I take it in stride, knowing that most people don't really know what they want until they actually see something on the page; then they get ideas and inspirations.
In this case the man seemed to have a good idea of what he wanted and explained it well. Again, I made every attempt to do my best.
Tuesday was our first real appointment to work on the site but I had given my phone to Dianna to use in a webinar. That made our communications a bit difficult in that we had to use emailing. I didn't get a sense of frustration from the man but after awhile he dropped out without saying goodnight or goodbye. I tried to email him a couple of times and then left it at that and went home.
Tonight as I arrived at the studio he called and asked if I had time to work on the site. I told him yes, but it would have to wait for a few minutes while I finished up on what I had begun on another project.
He called back in ten minutes asking if I had called and I said , "No, but I was almost done and I would call back in a few minutes."
The next thing I know he is sending me an email terminating.
This is supposedly a good christian man and our conversations had always been very casual. I had done everything I knew to do to accommodate him but it evidently wasn't enough to satisfy.
Where has patience gone; especially among christian brothers?
I'm not trying to be difficult here. In fact, I was as helpful as I knew to be and felt like I had done everything I could to please the man.
We are going to have to learn how to get along a lot better than this if we are going to measure up to God's expectations of how we are to treat each other.
We first met online , mailing back and forth and then moved on to the phone to talk about what he wanted in the way of a new site for his business/ ministry. I was happy to help and looked forward to doing the site because I had several ideas that I thought might make the site look really neat.
My first attempts were basically rejected and he went on to give me more details as to his wishes. It didn't bother me that my first work didn't pass inspection, I had been down that road many times. In fact it usually happens that way and I take it in stride, knowing that most people don't really know what they want until they actually see something on the page; then they get ideas and inspirations.
In this case the man seemed to have a good idea of what he wanted and explained it well. Again, I made every attempt to do my best.
Tuesday was our first real appointment to work on the site but I had given my phone to Dianna to use in a webinar. That made our communications a bit difficult in that we had to use emailing. I didn't get a sense of frustration from the man but after awhile he dropped out without saying goodnight or goodbye. I tried to email him a couple of times and then left it at that and went home.
Tonight as I arrived at the studio he called and asked if I had time to work on the site. I told him yes, but it would have to wait for a few minutes while I finished up on what I had begun on another project.
He called back in ten minutes asking if I had called and I said , "No, but I was almost done and I would call back in a few minutes."
The next thing I know he is sending me an email terminating.
This is supposedly a good christian man and our conversations had always been very casual. I had done everything I knew to do to accommodate him but it evidently wasn't enough to satisfy.
Where has patience gone; especially among christian brothers?
I'm not trying to be difficult here. In fact, I was as helpful as I knew to be and felt like I had done everything I could to please the man.
We are going to have to learn how to get along a lot better than this if we are going to measure up to God's expectations of how we are to treat each other.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
nonsense, I'm fine... you must be crazy
I have recently discovered the little known fact about 'being busy'; it's just not all that it's cracked up to, believe me.
How can one person get so involved in what's going on that he doesn't know when to stop saying "yes" to every opportunity that presents itself? I just don't get it.
I think I'm fairly intelligent, which is highly debateable at my house, but for some reason I find myself covered up with too much to do before "the bell rings" and I run out of time. Have you ever double booked yourself to be in two places at the same time? I mean how dumb is that? And how can a person of so called moderate intelligence do such a thing?
I know, you're going to give me some sage advice about writing things down or keeping a calendar or some other multitasking efficiency option that everybody uses to keep organized. I lose the book or I forget to look at the calendar and then someone asks that question; you know the one.
"Can you do such & such for me by next week?"
"Of course, I'm a multitasking Whiz! I can do anything!"
Balderdash. I'm the nut that always answers that way and for the life of me I just don't know why.
It must be something ingrained deep in my psyche that happened to me a long time ago when I was young and vulnerable. One night a Gnome probably snuck into my room and deposited a faulty set of brains in me and I have been hampered by the mishap all this time.... No, it must have been all that weed I smoked in the 70's and 80's.... No that must have worn off by now.
Something must of happened or I wouldn't be so..... "normal"!
I know, you could send me your take on the subject and between the two of us, we could probably figure this out. Of course you would have to be like me or worse for it to really work, right?
How can one person get so involved in what's going on that he doesn't know when to stop saying "yes" to every opportunity that presents itself? I just don't get it.
I think I'm fairly intelligent, which is highly debateable at my house, but for some reason I find myself covered up with too much to do before "the bell rings" and I run out of time. Have you ever double booked yourself to be in two places at the same time? I mean how dumb is that? And how can a person of so called moderate intelligence do such a thing?
I know, you're going to give me some sage advice about writing things down or keeping a calendar or some other multitasking efficiency option that everybody uses to keep organized. I lose the book or I forget to look at the calendar and then someone asks that question; you know the one.
"Can you do such & such for me by next week?"
"Of course, I'm a multitasking Whiz! I can do anything!"
Balderdash. I'm the nut that always answers that way and for the life of me I just don't know why.
It must be something ingrained deep in my psyche that happened to me a long time ago when I was young and vulnerable. One night a Gnome probably snuck into my room and deposited a faulty set of brains in me and I have been hampered by the mishap all this time.... No, it must have been all that weed I smoked in the 70's and 80's.... No that must have worn off by now.
Something must of happened or I wouldn't be so..... "normal"!
I know, you could send me your take on the subject and between the two of us, we could probably figure this out. Of course you would have to be like me or worse for it to really work, right?
Thursday, October 4, 2012
...lookin' for the rest
I have a really full schedule right now. The hours are long and I never seem to get done but I'm not complaining.... no sir, not me. I can recall the time, not too long ago in fact, when I didn't have anything happening and I was wondering when the next paycheck was going to come in because everything was due. I didn't have two nickels to rub together.
Times have definitely changed for the better.
I do miss the times here in the studio though, when I could pick and choose what I did. I answered to no one in particular, except the Lord, and I was always 'busy'.
I can honestly say that I don't simmer well. I always have to have something going or I stagnate rather quickly. The pace is swift but I like that as well.
When end of day comes around I always have more of the same to look forward on the morrow.
There is no lack of work, for the present and I'm liking it.
Does it seem to be that way a lot nowadays? I mean, is there just a lot more to do than there used to be all those years ago when we were younger and stronger and had more options; or so it seemed?
I'm still not gonna complain about bein' busy.
Times have definitely changed for the better.
I do miss the times here in the studio though, when I could pick and choose what I did. I answered to no one in particular, except the Lord, and I was always 'busy'.
I can honestly say that I don't simmer well. I always have to have something going or I stagnate rather quickly. The pace is swift but I like that as well.
When end of day comes around I always have more of the same to look forward on the morrow.
There is no lack of work, for the present and I'm liking it.
Does it seem to be that way a lot nowadays? I mean, is there just a lot more to do than there used to be all those years ago when we were younger and stronger and had more options; or so it seemed?
I'm still not gonna complain about bein' busy.
Harder or easier?
What makes things harder to do or easier to do?
I often find myself looking up and wondering, "Can this get any harder...?" Or, "Can this be any easier?"
Just what makes things harder for some and easier for others? Are we so smart or so dumb that activities seem to breeze by at a fast pace or slowly pass as though they will never end?
I don't know about you but I wonder about these things more and more these days. My jobs are so varied that I never get bored with the same mundane task to do over and over like in a factory. I probably wouldn't last a week in a setting like that. My mind wonders and before you know it the assembly line would be backed up in both directions and the boss would probably be standing over me with a baseball bat.
I had a difficult job to do the other day. I tried one thing and then another until it finally came together, but not without a lot of effort on my part and some timely advice as to the best approach from an "old hand". It pays to have wise friends.
And as I sit here and type out the thoughts that come to mind from time to time I can only guess at what it is you think to be hard or easy. We all have our mountains to climb.
I only hope that you are having as good a time with them as I am presently.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
... it was great.
I sat down to fix a few issues with one of the websites, thinking that I would be done in only a few minutes so I could go on to bigger and better things. That was not the case.
I looked at the clock a few hours later and realized that I had spent over four hours on what had started out to be a simple task.
Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You think that a job will be easy, simple and short lived but no, the other side of the coin surfaces and there you are, still at it several hours later.
Fortunately I was doing something I like to do and not an arduous task like crawling under a trailer to fix a busted pipe. That was the case a few days ago when I spent two long days trying to help a friend in need. He and his wife are wonderful people and I was happy to help them out but it wasn't the most enjoyable time.
As I sat back and looked at the nearly project I realized that I had done a lot more than I intended, but in doing so I had created something of worth and that in and of itself was very satisfying.
I don't purport myself to be any great artist or a big thinker or anything like that, I just do what I can and hope for the best; being self taught has its drawbacks as well as its benefits.
On this occasion however, I found that my efforts had paid off and the person I had done the work for was very happy with it, so...I closed up shop and went home with a contented smile on my face and a good feeling for having done something well.
There weren't any hitches in the get along for a change.... it was great!
I looked at the clock a few hours later and realized that I had spent over four hours on what had started out to be a simple task.
Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You think that a job will be easy, simple and short lived but no, the other side of the coin surfaces and there you are, still at it several hours later.
Fortunately I was doing something I like to do and not an arduous task like crawling under a trailer to fix a busted pipe. That was the case a few days ago when I spent two long days trying to help a friend in need. He and his wife are wonderful people and I was happy to help them out but it wasn't the most enjoyable time.
As I sat back and looked at the nearly project I realized that I had done a lot more than I intended, but in doing so I had created something of worth and that in and of itself was very satisfying.
I don't purport myself to be any great artist or a big thinker or anything like that, I just do what I can and hope for the best; being self taught has its drawbacks as well as its benefits.
On this occasion however, I found that my efforts had paid off and the person I had done the work for was very happy with it, so...I closed up shop and went home with a contented smile on my face and a good feeling for having done something well.
There weren't any hitches in the get along for a change.... it was great!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
...you just can't do it....
I was helping a friend with his new home when the unexpected began to happen.
I had promised to help get the water on so they could do some simple clean up after painting and have the ability to wash their hands as needed. The only problem with that was, every time we fixed one leak two more sprang up seemingly out of nowhere and "rained on our parade".
What was supposed to be about an hour of work turned into two full days crawling under the trailer time and time again to ferret out the broken pipes and make the repairs.
On the second day I was driving back to the trailer to try again to restore the place to working order when I began to talk to the Lord about it.
"You know Lord, I really don't have time to work on this place. I should be on my regular job but I gave my word so I'm going to stick it out and help get the water on. You're gonna have to help me out though. You know how badly we need our paycheck this week, especially after missing so many days last week helping Mom move. ...."
The prayer was short, as usual and I went on about my business.
After several hours of good, hard work on the trailer we still weren't within sight of our goal. It seemed like everything in the place had an issue of some sort and we would have to put in yet another full day of repairing leaks.
About mid morning my phone rang. I was expecting it to be my boss asking where I was and why wasn't I where I was supposed to be but to my surprise it was a wonderful Christian brother from Supulpa.
"Hello Brother John, how's it going?", he began.
"Oh, it's going", I replied with a little disgust in my voice.
"I have a friend that wants you to build him a website", he continued.
I stopped dead still in my tracks and listened as my friend described the project and then he added that he also wanted to do another music project within the next couple of weeks.
I was stunned.
Not only was I going to get to do the kind of work I love, I was going to get paid more than twice what I make on my regular 'day job'. I was going to get to work in my calling and get paid well to do it.
The thought came to me as I listened to my friend talk. The Lord had made up for what I had lost in wages and blessed me even further by allowing me to do what I love to do the most.
You can't out give God.... No sir, you just can't do it.
I had promised to help get the water on so they could do some simple clean up after painting and have the ability to wash their hands as needed. The only problem with that was, every time we fixed one leak two more sprang up seemingly out of nowhere and "rained on our parade".
What was supposed to be about an hour of work turned into two full days crawling under the trailer time and time again to ferret out the broken pipes and make the repairs.
On the second day I was driving back to the trailer to try again to restore the place to working order when I began to talk to the Lord about it.
"You know Lord, I really don't have time to work on this place. I should be on my regular job but I gave my word so I'm going to stick it out and help get the water on. You're gonna have to help me out though. You know how badly we need our paycheck this week, especially after missing so many days last week helping Mom move. ...."
The prayer was short, as usual and I went on about my business.
After several hours of good, hard work on the trailer we still weren't within sight of our goal. It seemed like everything in the place had an issue of some sort and we would have to put in yet another full day of repairing leaks.
About mid morning my phone rang. I was expecting it to be my boss asking where I was and why wasn't I where I was supposed to be but to my surprise it was a wonderful Christian brother from Supulpa.
"Hello Brother John, how's it going?", he began.
"Oh, it's going", I replied with a little disgust in my voice.
"I have a friend that wants you to build him a website", he continued.
I stopped dead still in my tracks and listened as my friend described the project and then he added that he also wanted to do another music project within the next couple of weeks.
I was stunned.
Not only was I going to get to do the kind of work I love, I was going to get paid more than twice what I make on my regular 'day job'. I was going to get to work in my calling and get paid well to do it.
The thought came to me as I listened to my friend talk. The Lord had made up for what I had lost in wages and blessed me even further by allowing me to do what I love to do the most.
You can't out give God.... No sir, you just can't do it.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
when I get there...
When I get there I'm gonna grab her up in my arms and give her a big squeeze.
I haven't seen my Mom in about 5 years now. We have been on the other side of the planet it seems and yet, only 700 miles away. The distance is nothing really because I feel close to her anywhere I am, even after all this time.
She'll be 85 next Sunday and I can't wait to see that little sparkle that I know is still there in her eyes.
She may be a Maverick but I love her anyway. Some may say that she wasn't a very good mother but I don't care about that. I had a good teacher in my Grandmother and that's what God wanted for me so I'm happy with that. I would have been much worse off had things been different, I know, but it is what it is and there's no changing it now. I have a heart for what is there and no regrets or inhibitions.
Boogie Grannie lives on and more power to her!
I haven't seen my Mom in about 5 years now. We have been on the other side of the planet it seems and yet, only 700 miles away. The distance is nothing really because I feel close to her anywhere I am, even after all this time.
She'll be 85 next Sunday and I can't wait to see that little sparkle that I know is still there in her eyes.
She may be a Maverick but I love her anyway. Some may say that she wasn't a very good mother but I don't care about that. I had a good teacher in my Grandmother and that's what God wanted for me so I'm happy with that. I would have been much worse off had things been different, I know, but it is what it is and there's no changing it now. I have a heart for what is there and no regrets or inhibitions.
Boogie Grannie lives on and more power to her!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
as the smoke rises
I answered the phone thinking that Dianna was about to tell me that dinner was ready or something else along that line, but it was much more serious.
The concern in her voice caught my full attention.
She began by telling me not to be in a rush to get home because she had been denied access to the park where we live. The deputy sheriff was turning people back at the intersection about a block from our home due to a grass fire just east of the park.
The smoke was billowing high into the air as the southerly breeze tugged on the brownish grey plume ranging menacingly close to everything we own. I swallowed hard as her words rang in my ears.
I had thought about the ones that had lost their homes to a huge fire the day before as I was on my way to the studio earlier, but the prospect of becoming a victim myself was even more sobering and stressing.
It's one thing to empathize with the ones that are hurting but it's quite another to be on the other end of the equation.
I reminded Dianna to pray as I hung up the phone wondering what was in store for us in the next few hours.
You just never know. It could be a car accident or a health issue or a grass fire. This world is very much on it's last legs. The signs are so evident and yet I still hear people say, "Show me a sign and I might believe..."
How can they be so blind? It is so plain and yet there are still so many with no beliefs, no convictions and little conscience.
There has to be a way to reach them, there just has to be.
The concern in her voice caught my full attention.
She began by telling me not to be in a rush to get home because she had been denied access to the park where we live. The deputy sheriff was turning people back at the intersection about a block from our home due to a grass fire just east of the park.
The smoke was billowing high into the air as the southerly breeze tugged on the brownish grey plume ranging menacingly close to everything we own. I swallowed hard as her words rang in my ears.
I had thought about the ones that had lost their homes to a huge fire the day before as I was on my way to the studio earlier, but the prospect of becoming a victim myself was even more sobering and stressing.
It's one thing to empathize with the ones that are hurting but it's quite another to be on the other end of the equation.
I reminded Dianna to pray as I hung up the phone wondering what was in store for us in the next few hours.
You just never know. It could be a car accident or a health issue or a grass fire. This world is very much on it's last legs. The signs are so evident and yet I still hear people say, "Show me a sign and I might believe..."
How can they be so blind? It is so plain and yet there are still so many with no beliefs, no convictions and little conscience.
There has to be a way to reach them, there just has to be.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
... and then the weight lifted
[Written last year]
I had been dreading the moment that I would tell my boss that I was no longer going to be with the company. I felt as though I was slowly climbing up an incline with nothng to grab onto for help in getting to the top but I still felt the urge to keep on going no matter what.
I didn't know that it would be as easy as it was... in the end.
He looked sad and disappointed as I gave him all the reasons for leaving but I stood my ground and didn't give in to the temptation to stay on a little longer and see if it would work it's way out. I've done that before and the end is always a lot worse when I somehow 'stretch it out' and make an ordeal of things that should have been stopped at a certain point.
I left with the feeling of elation and my body felt lighter. I even had a spring in my step as I exited the building and walked the short distance to the Suburban and got in.
It was hot inside and I had almost put it into drive when I saw a friend and decided to leave the vehicle running, and cooling, and say hello.
Our discussion naturally went to the meeting I had just finished and as I listened to my friend's opinion I realized that I was no longer part of the overall picture anymore and I could just relax and enjoy a 'visit' with a friend and not feel guilty or worrying that I was supposed to be 'working'.
I'm still a bit 'disjointed' but that sensation is rapidly waning so I know that I will be back to the 'old John' very soon. I think I'll like that.
Now there was nothing wrong with the way things were before, per se, except that it wasn't for me. I'm glad I did what I did when I did it and I'll stand by that.
I just have to learn how to hear God better and then make the right moves instead of looking at everything that comes my way as the answer to what I need ...or want. I'm just too quick to jump. That lends itself to trust and trusting; two words so much alike and yet so different.
One can trust and not be trusting and one can be trusting and not trust.
...and after the holiday
...and
after the holiday?
after the holiday?
[Written last year]
I had a holiday scheduled but I'm working anyway.
The rigors of the job keep me going a lot more than I had anticipated when I
decided to go in this direction but I'm not complaining per se, I'm just
'reflecting ' on what 'was' the case.
Before Jack's Answer I didn't usually get up until around 11 AM to start my
day. I would get coffee, go to the computer and check emails, and then decide
on what I thought was a priority for the day.
Now I wake at 7:45 AM and call Jack. He gets me started with whatever is on his
mind that needs to happen or he has already informed me from the night before
of what we will be doing. I still call at 8 AM either way. It has been good for
me in that I have to get up at a certain time each day and I start much
earlier. Instead of working until 11 or 12 or 1 Am, I am done and on my way
home by about 7 or 8 PM. I put in about the same amount of time, just in a
slightly different time frame.
Working for the other guy has it's ups and downs as you all already know. I
didn't consider some of these differences when I signed on, but I realize what
they are just the same. I can't just pick and choose what I do now; there's a
pattern to it and there are also deadlines that I haven't had to accomplish in
someone else's time frame. It's much more difficult. But in hindsight, that's
been good for me. I know I can do it now, I had just never put myself in that
'place' before.
Aren't we all supposed to be servants anyway? Doesn't it point that out in the
Word? We are told to make ourselves available for whatever has to be done and
be thankful that we have something to do and then go do it.
My office is in a church for now. I see so many people come and go. Most don't
have a clue as to what they will be doing in the next thirty minutes much less
what they will be doing for the rest of their lives. Do they consider these
things? I don't know for sure but I don't think so. If they do they certainly
don't show it on the surface.
I really enjoy motivated people. They have an 'aire' about them. They can talk
in real, complete sentences and make real sense. But for the most, I usually
hear disjointed dialogue with relatively no point to it other than a mostly
confusing circumstancial occurance that they are experiencing at the time. It's
all based on a crisis of some sort and their hands are always extended in an
effort to relieve the 'pain'; as if it's a bad migraine and you8 have some
'magic pill' to give them. The sad part is that it really doesn't matter what
level of society I am observing as this unfolds before me. They all exhibit the
same innate traits. Confusion is a well established and seemingly incurable
disease these days. Or is it just the ignorance that seems incurable?
I marvel. I'm not that smart but I do know that there are real answers out
there; but without a higher power that can come in and rectify the situations
we're all lost and without hope. We rely on our own wisdom to get us out of
trouble and fall deeper into it. Ignorance, pure and simple ignorance. All we
have to do is read the Word and do it. "Just do it", isn't that what
the Nike guy says? Why is that so hard to understand? It should be easy but I
find that I have a tough time following those same, simple directions on a
daily basis and sometimes have to go back to the source and ask for more and
more help ...a lot of the time. Remember I said I'm not that smart? I'm not,
but I do know where to get help in time of need and I've stopped doing the same
thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We all know what
that equates to, don't we? Yep, it means you're nuts if you keep doing it!
Okay, I've ranted long enough. Back to the original topic.
I had a holiday planned but I'm working anyway.....
I had a holiday scheduled but I'm working anyway.
The rigors of the job keep me going a lot more than I had anticipated when I
decided to go in this direction but I'm not complaining per se, I'm just
'reflecting ' on what 'was' the case.
Before Jack's Answer I didn't usually get up until around 11 AM to start my
day. I would get coffee, go to the computer and check emails, and then decide
on what I thought was a priority for the day.
Now I wake at 7:45 AM and call Jack. He gets me started with whatever is on his
mind that needs to happen or he has already informed me from the night before
of what we will be doing. I still call at 8 AM either way. It has been good for
me in that I have to get up at a certain time each day and I start much
earlier. Instead of working until 11 or 12 or 1 Am, I am done and on my way
home by about 7 or 8 PM. I put in about the same amount of time, just in a
slightly different time frame.
Working for the other guy has it's ups and downs as you all already know. I
didn't consider some of these differences when I signed on, but I realize what
they are just the same. I can't just pick and choose what I do now; there's a
pattern to it and there are also deadlines that I haven't had to accomplish in
someone else's time frame. It's much more difficult. But in hindsight, that's
been good for me. I know I can do it now, I had just never put myself in that
'place' before.
Aren't we all supposed to be servants anyway? Doesn't it point that out in the
Word? We are told to make ourselves available for whatever has to be done and
be thankful that we have something to do and then go do it.
My office is in a church for now. I see so many people come and go. Most don't
have a clue as to what they will be doing in the next thirty minutes much less
what they will be doing for the rest of their lives. Do they consider these
things? I don't know for sure but I don't think so. If they do they certainly
don't show it on the surface.
I really enjoy motivated people. They have an 'aire' about them. They can talk
in real, complete sentences and make real sense. But for the most, I usually
hear disjointed dialogue with relatively no point to it other than a mostly
confusing circumstancial occurance that they are experiencing at the time. It's
all based on a crisis of some sort and their hands are always extended in an
effort to relieve the 'pain'; as if it's a bad migraine and you8 have some
'magic pill' to give them. The sad part is that it really doesn't matter what
level of society I am observing as this unfolds before me. They all exhibit the
same innate traits. Confusion is a well established and seemingly incurable
disease these days. Or is it just the ignorance that seems incurable?
I marvel. I'm not that smart but I do know that there are real answers out
there; but without a higher power that can come in and rectify the situations
we're all lost and without hope. We rely on our own wisdom to get us out of
trouble and fall deeper into it. Ignorance, pure and simple ignorance. All we
have to do is read the Word and do it. "Just do it", isn't that what
the Nike guy says? Why is that so hard to understand? It should be easy but I
find that I have a tough time following those same, simple directions on a
daily basis and sometimes have to go back to the source and ask for more and
more help ...a lot of the time. Remember I said I'm not that smart? I'm not,
but I do know where to get help in time of need and I've stopped doing the same
thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We all know what
that equates to, don't we? Yep, it means you're nuts if you keep doing it!
Okay, I've ranted long enough. Back to the original topic.
I had a holiday planned but I'm working anyway.....
Changes to the changes
How do you know when something is really changing?
Some things are evident while others are not. I see changes in my grandson but then I don't. It's like he is two or three people all rolled up in that one little body. I see one thing then another and then still another. He is so intricate and delicate, and at times. a real pain in the you know what! But how I love him. He brings me joy and laughter and yes, sadly enough, much sorrow. I wouldn't par5t6 with him for the world. I know I'm supposed to be and make a difference in his life. I only hope I don't do any harm along the way. God help me.
I have to go back to the 1950's and try so very hard to recall how I was feeling at that age. How was I acting and reacting and yes even wondering how everything fit together? I recall the prayer my Grandmother prayed over me in the back yard one summer night. Her ardent urging and staunch emotion still rings in my ears. Having died before I could apologize for all of the mean spirited things I said and did, I still feel the guilt of not being a better person for her to see and know before she passed. Pity that.
How very much harder it must be today. There are so many more choices and diversions and distractions.
It's a wonder the poor kid can even think straight.... if he does.
I think of what I had to go through and how I've turned out. It's a miracle of God. I should be dead twenty times over. But thank God for mercy, right? Where would we be without mercy? I can't leave out grace either. The two go hand in hand I suppose, but grace is so soothing and so welcome when it washes over me the way it does.
The hot summer days are upon us now and I have to be careful not to over do. I did over do last week. It has cost me a weeks wages and much pain and sleep. But I am better and looking for the end of the cycle that I have to go through to get back to where I was in the first place.
Changes.... how awful and how wonderful and how do we get through them like we do?
Some things are evident while others are not. I see changes in my grandson but then I don't. It's like he is two or three people all rolled up in that one little body. I see one thing then another and then still another. He is so intricate and delicate, and at times. a real pain in the you know what! But how I love him. He brings me joy and laughter and yes, sadly enough, much sorrow. I wouldn't par5t6 with him for the world. I know I'm supposed to be and make a difference in his life. I only hope I don't do any harm along the way. God help me.
I have to go back to the 1950's and try so very hard to recall how I was feeling at that age. How was I acting and reacting and yes even wondering how everything fit together? I recall the prayer my Grandmother prayed over me in the back yard one summer night. Her ardent urging and staunch emotion still rings in my ears. Having died before I could apologize for all of the mean spirited things I said and did, I still feel the guilt of not being a better person for her to see and know before she passed. Pity that.
How very much harder it must be today. There are so many more choices and diversions and distractions.
It's a wonder the poor kid can even think straight.... if he does.
I think of what I had to go through and how I've turned out. It's a miracle of God. I should be dead twenty times over. But thank God for mercy, right? Where would we be without mercy? I can't leave out grace either. The two go hand in hand I suppose, but grace is so soothing and so welcome when it washes over me the way it does.
The hot summer days are upon us now and I have to be careful not to over do. I did over do last week. It has cost me a weeks wages and much pain and sleep. But I am better and looking for the end of the cycle that I have to go through to get back to where I was in the first place.
Changes.... how awful and how wonderful and how do we get through them like we do?
Friday, July 13, 2012
ahh... the sweet smell of success....
I am basking in the coolness of my studio right now.
I came upstairs to find it well below the 90 degree mark it has been for the past few weeks and said a little "thank you Jesus" under my breath as I entered the room.
I have been concerned for the equipment. It has been close to 100 in here on several occasions and I just could not stay for more than a few minutes before having to leave.
I knew the Lord had a plan, I just didn't know when it would all come together and let me get back to work on what I have gotten behind on.
I am so spoiled. Every time I need something, God comes to my rescue. I know I don't deserve it but He just keeps on blessing me. I owe him so very much and I know I'll never be able to repay it.
I will, however, do my best to please him.
It's so sad that not everyone sees him as a friend and companion.
I talked to a man yesterday that thought God was always punishing him because he had done some bad things in the past and was trying to make up for it by doing good deeds.
After we talked for awhile I was able to share how much Jesus loves him and only wants to do good things for him, not "strike him down" all the time.
Too many people have a negative view of how God works.... they rarely seem to look at the good side and in reality, that's more prevalent than the bad side... by far.
At any rate, I did get to pray for my friend and now he wants to be baptized on Sunday.... Isn't that the coolest?
I came upstairs to find it well below the 90 degree mark it has been for the past few weeks and said a little "thank you Jesus" under my breath as I entered the room.
I have been concerned for the equipment. It has been close to 100 in here on several occasions and I just could not stay for more than a few minutes before having to leave.
I knew the Lord had a plan, I just didn't know when it would all come together and let me get back to work on what I have gotten behind on.
I am so spoiled. Every time I need something, God comes to my rescue. I know I don't deserve it but He just keeps on blessing me. I owe him so very much and I know I'll never be able to repay it.
I will, however, do my best to please him.
It's so sad that not everyone sees him as a friend and companion.
I talked to a man yesterday that thought God was always punishing him because he had done some bad things in the past and was trying to make up for it by doing good deeds.
After we talked for awhile I was able to share how much Jesus loves him and only wants to do good things for him, not "strike him down" all the time.
Too many people have a negative view of how God works.... they rarely seem to look at the good side and in reality, that's more prevalent than the bad side... by far.
At any rate, I did get to pray for my friend and now he wants to be baptized on Sunday.... Isn't that the coolest?
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
...the joy of finding out.
I finally got something to work that had been down for awhile. I had built a form for a website awhile back and it just wasn't working. No matter how hard I tried, the crazy thing just would work. After several exchanges with the Tech I was getting discouraged to say the least.
Then the moment came when I realized what I had been doing wrong. I hadn't read the instructions all the way through and I had 'supposed' when I should have been paying attention to the script.
I wrote a post yesterday describing how people don't concentrate when I'm trying to help them and here I was doing the exact same thing. How funny. I needed to take my own advice.
too hot....
The temps in the studio are reaching near the century mark each day. I have to come when the weather is cool so that I can work on the computers and not over heat them. The Ac has been out for over a month with no end in sight at this point. We are on our second compressor and it went down almost a week ago . The oil was spewing out of it and into the condenser outside.
I know God has a plan. I know that his wisdom is far beyond mine. I also know that I have to be in the right position for God to bless me with what I feel needs to be done in the studio at this point.
I have recently committed to a long term project but now the chances for it's completion or even it's beginning seem to be dwindling.
What does one do when presented with such overwhelming odds? Pray and believe. When things look the worst I have to opt for faith and trust. There is just no other way for me at this crossroad in my life.
Pray with me, if you will that all will be done in Jesus' name and according to his will and purpose for my life.
I know God has a plan. I know that his wisdom is far beyond mine. I also know that I have to be in the right position for God to bless me with what I feel needs to be done in the studio at this point.
I have recently committed to a long term project but now the chances for it's completion or even it's beginning seem to be dwindling.
What does one do when presented with such overwhelming odds? Pray and believe. When things look the worst I have to opt for faith and trust. There is just no other way for me at this crossroad in my life.
Pray with me, if you will that all will be done in Jesus' name and according to his will and purpose for my life.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
...it's how hot?
What a day. I am getting up early to beat the heat and still ending up in it. Go figure. The temps are scheduled for almost 100 every day for the next several days with no rain in sight. It looks like a repeat of last year. I pray not.
I am getting along with the studio remodel. I anticipate the finish to be within ten days now and am hoping for the dedication to happen on the 6th. I don't expect a big crowd because I'm not inviting one. I only want a few special people to be there. I don't want to sound selfish or prudish but at times like this I am really looking to the Lord to bless it and that's all that really matters to me anyway. No malice here, I do want everyone to enjoy what we are doing.
I pray that the cool breezes find you in good spirits and full of joy.
John
I am getting along with the studio remodel. I anticipate the finish to be within ten days now and am hoping for the dedication to happen on the 6th. I don't expect a big crowd because I'm not inviting one. I only want a few special people to be there. I don't want to sound selfish or prudish but at times like this I am really looking to the Lord to bless it and that's all that really matters to me anyway. No malice here, I do want everyone to enjoy what we are doing.
I pray that the cool breezes find you in good spirits and full of joy.
John
Saturday, June 23, 2012
... at long last
It has been quite some time but I am posting again. I have been working so much on the park that it seems to take every last bit of energy to do the physical tasks that it presents on a daily basis.
Having said that I am more determined than ever to keep the blog in existence and communicate on a much more frequent basis.
Life sets so many things in the way that it really involves a great deal of thought and planning to get things accomplished in a timely manner.
I have almost completed the painting phase of the studio update. I will set a time in the near future for the dedication ceremony and invite a select few to join me in rededicating it's work to the Lord. I have yearned to be in here playing and writing and producing and now at long last it seems to be on the horizon.
Pray with me, if you will, that I have more and more doors opened to me to do the work of the kingdom as time winds down to our Lord's coming back.
Blessings,
John
Having said that I am more determined than ever to keep the blog in existence and communicate on a much more frequent basis.
Life sets so many things in the way that it really involves a great deal of thought and planning to get things accomplished in a timely manner.
I have almost completed the painting phase of the studio update. I will set a time in the near future for the dedication ceremony and invite a select few to join me in rededicating it's work to the Lord. I have yearned to be in here playing and writing and producing and now at long last it seems to be on the horizon.
Pray with me, if you will, that I have more and more doors opened to me to do the work of the kingdom as time winds down to our Lord's coming back.
Blessings,
John
Saturday, May 5, 2012
... in the meantime.
An effort to complete a task often takes more than one try these days.
I spent most of the afternoon on a project the other day and realized that it used to take only a few minutes to finish that particular type of work; but that was a number of years ago.
I turned 63 recently and the overwhelming reality that I can't do as much as I used to is hard to take. I have been so active in the past that it became second nature to accomplish a lot of things in one day and not think much about it at all. Not now. I have to measure out the efforts now. I tire more easily and I don't process near a many thoughts and ideas as I used to.
Age is a relative term, I know, but I don't feel any older in my mind; just my body. The aches and pains are numerous and for the most part a constant issue. I awake with many of the same ones I had yesterday and even find that a few new ones have "joined the club" for whatever reason.
This brings me to yet another thought. What happens next?
I'm not looking to check out anytime soon but if I do I'll be alright with it. God is the time keeper for me.
I'm just going to do everything I can in the meantime.
I spent most of the afternoon on a project the other day and realized that it used to take only a few minutes to finish that particular type of work; but that was a number of years ago.
I turned 63 recently and the overwhelming reality that I can't do as much as I used to is hard to take. I have been so active in the past that it became second nature to accomplish a lot of things in one day and not think much about it at all. Not now. I have to measure out the efforts now. I tire more easily and I don't process near a many thoughts and ideas as I used to.
Age is a relative term, I know, but I don't feel any older in my mind; just my body. The aches and pains are numerous and for the most part a constant issue. I awake with many of the same ones I had yesterday and even find that a few new ones have "joined the club" for whatever reason.
This brings me to yet another thought. What happens next?
I'm not looking to check out anytime soon but if I do I'll be alright with it. God is the time keeper for me.
I'm just going to do everything I can in the meantime.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
...much too long
I have been away....
Away from the computers and the equipment and the noise and the hurry. It feels good to come back for a visit but I wont stay long. I like the feeling of getting away for a change.
Dianna and I have taken on a new job together. We are running a mobile home park for a couple that own property here in the OKC area. I like the changes of getting up early and actually doing physical labor for a change. I have been sitting for several years now and I really need the exercise. It has been good for my waistline, good for my mind and good for my pocketbook.
The websites just do not pay. I love doing them for everyone but it seems as though most people do not have the finances to keep them up and running the way they need, and for whatever reason, they just do not keep up with the things that make a website work to their advantage.
I have been doing some recording as well. My first love.... Music. I now look forward to the next project in that I will get to do some of the things I love so dearly and get paid for doing it. What a novel concept.
I apologize for my absence but I may take even more time away in the coming weeks. Don't give up on me. I will be writing as I go.... especially the Blog...
God bless each one of you.
John
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