The past few days have absolutely flown by. How does one keep up in all this speed and spin?

I watch the news but it keeps circling like a revolving hotel entrance. It's as though I can see thru to the other side; the destination, but then things keep returning to the starting point and beginning again.
Like Yogi Berra says, "It's Déjà vu all over again".
Back in the day I would have sworn I was high on some drug, but this is a 'different high', if you will. It's not just with the news.

I keep 'seeing' things. By that I mean, before now, there were events going on all around me that would have had little or no impact on my thinking mind. It was about things that seemingly didn't matter one way or another and I would just 'pass on by' not knowing something important had happened. I would look back and marvel at my ignorance.
But now these 'things' register and I recognize them as significant events. Events that relate to the information that has been 'stored' in my memory. I now understand. Not like a child understands a lesson at school. It's an understanding that stems from a great strength.
Now what I have written here might sound like an idiot penned it, but I'm trying to make a specific point.
The Bible talks about The Holy Spirit. "The Holy Spirit will teach you all things....", and I know that's paraphrasing, but isn't that a pretty good explanation for knowing about something before it occurs and not realizing you know until it happens? This isn't the mystical arts or magic. It's a real setting for many Christians. Knowledge is a gift and God liberally gives gifts to His children.

I'm certainly not trying to 'teach' here. That isn't my calling. I'm trying to share an interesting observation that only recently has developed. Many times in the past I felt 'numb' for lack of a better term when it came to what was going on around me. Now I tend to sense the atmosphere around me and notice more of what is going on. There is a keenness, if you will in the air and it's refreshing as well as intriguing.

"Soon and very soon"....

What has happened? The media is awash with story after story of how badly the president is handling affairs and making decisions. 

How easy to see the 'twist' they apply to all of his efforts. Nothing goes unchallenged. How sad. He's doing what he said he would do and that will be better for the nation... all the nation. The depraved have shouted and stamped and wailed, but it won't hold water. God will prevail and most won't like it. 

I was reading in John. The words of Jesus make it plain what the liberals are after. They want more liberty to become more and more depraved and corrupt. We have to stand for what is right and for what God tells us to apply to our lives. Be strong my friends, stay the course. We will win in the end, but it means fighting tooth and nail for every step and every victory. That will make us stronger as well. We have to exercise our spiritual muscles or we will atrophy and die. Our job is simple. Look to the Lord, the Author and Finisher of our faith. We only have to trust and believe and see His handiwork come to pass.These are glorious days.... the end is soon and very soon.... Watch... be strong.... have faith and see the salvation of the Lord!

After awhile

I looked at the blog and realized it's been forever since I posted 'anything'. Not that anything I have to say has any relevance, but I do have an opinion. The craziness that constitutes our current world situation gives me ample fodder for my blogging, but I hesitate to go all out. That would be a little over the top, wouldn't you agree?
 Having a view that is somewhat restricted by location and access doesn't give me the best insight on 'now topics'  but I do try to stay ahead of the curve on information. Having said that, I have little confidence in the Media given their alliances and bias and so where does one go to get the latest and best Intel? Good question.
Have you been watching the news? Compare that to the book of Revelation. See any similarities? I do; and plenty. The Word also elaborates in many other places about 'the end times' and what will come down as they approach, even putting them in order of occurrence. Are you seeing what I'm seeing here?
The answers are pretty evident once you put all of these 'facts' together and spread them out on 'the table' for a good look.

How long....

I often ask the question, "How long....?" Yes, how long before dinner is ready..... how long before it's my turn at the take out window.... how long do I have to listen to that awful music? Yes, the 'how longs' had a place in my life that I was more or less unaware of until I caught myself saying it over and over in one day.
Isn't that a social issue? I wonder. I am more inclined to put it in the spiritual column for reference.
We look at things in many different ways but the "same things" are always going to be the "same things".

Merriam-Webster defines same as:

simple definition of same

·    : not different

·    : exactly like someone or something else

·    : not changed : exactly like an earlier version, event, etc.

full definition of same

1.  1a :  resembling in every relevant respect

2.  b :  conforming in every respect —used with as

3.  2a :  being one without addition, change, or discontinuance :  identical

4.  b :  being the one under discussion or already referred to

5.  3:  corresponding so closely as to be indistinguishable

6.  4:  equal in size, shape, value, or importance —usually used with the or a demonstrative (as that, those) in all senses

iI'm inclined to agree with the set definitions. So why do we keep doing the 'same things' and expecting a different result? 

I I am ashamed of myself. I should have learned this lesson a long time ago and I would be so much  farther along, but alas, I am ignorant still.

Now.... how does one break free of this 'sameness'? One might think a considerable amount of drugs would reverse the process and 'enlighten me'. But no, I've already tried that path and it stinks.

All I did was wonder around in an ego crazed stupor; all the while thinking I was smarter. Not the case.

OKay, how about "Human Enlightenment Courses". That didn't work either. They only gave me a headache... far too much introspective for my taste; not to mention cost. Really smart people think up these courses just so they can retire in Florida ...or Venice. Not the way either.

Finally out of desperation I turned to an old book on the shelf. Though tattered and worn, I found it to be very new and awe inspiring. Yes, the very simple application of reading gave me far more than the most expensive drug or man made method. I gained reason and understanding and peace and comfort and I even lost weight. How funny.

You're wondering ? Be at ease. It was the Bible, of course. It was there all along. All I had to do was pick it up and open it.... no matter where, there were answers. There were methods to cure, reasons to be successful, avenues I never dreamed possible and yet... It was there in black and white for all to see and appreciate. Believe me I do. My appreciation has grown a thousand fold since beginning to read this book on a regular basis. The words come alive on the page and take me places I never dreamed possible. The words soothe and console, rebuke and reprove, turn me upside down and rightside up at the same time and I come away with a deeper 'knowing' of life than I could have ever imagined. 

As I got to the end I found a familair statement being expressed outloud in a sacred gathering.... "How long....?"

Deception abounds

I am taking out time from my normal positive remarks to warn everyone about a very deceptive business practice being done by a company called Force Factor. I had responded to an email about a month ago regarding a supposed 'muscle building' product designed to build stamina and endurance. Since I work outside in the heat in the summer, I thought it might be worth investigating. I have suffered the loss of Potassium from being in the hot sun for many years and this product promised many positive results. The offer was for a " free sample"; all I had to pay was a small 'processing' fee of under $5.

I paid the asking price with my debit card and thought the matter was settled. I would await the arrival of the sample, try it out and hopefully begin the 'body building process' as described by the advertisement. The sample never came. The days turned into weeks and about two months passed. I checked my bank account a few days ago and to my dismay, Force Factor had taken $64.98 out of my account. I had read the advertisement, I thought, but somewhere in the "fine print" there was an something that gave them the idea they could just take an amount at a certain time if I didn't decline it in some way.

You can imagine how I felt. I was livid. I began looking up the company, which by the way wasn't easy. All I had was a code on my bank account specifying the amount taken and little else. After a bit of effort I discovered that Force Factor was indeed the culprit. I went to the internet and found a contact number to call. This is where things began to get even more infuriating and frustrating. The Force Factor answering system is a never ending sales pitch that does not allow the caller to get to a live operator. The message goes on and on often repeating the message over and over again.

I waited for almost 25 minutes with the phone on speaker as I tried to continue my work while waiting to talk to someone. That never happened. I finally hung up. my next approach was a little more successful in that I did get a response from some unknown person on the Force Factor Facebook page. I typed in my angry feelings for being deceived and a answer came in the next day asking for my last name and zip code; promising to help me. That was the end of that. Even after responding to their request, Force Factor did not reply with any information or resolution to the problem.

BE AWARE AND BE WARNED... Force Factor is very likely using deceptive business practices to take your money without your permission. It almost cost me $64.98. Thank God for Chase Bank They immediately returned the money to my account after a 5 minute phone call.

I will continue to inform everyone I know about this unscrupulous company and I can only hope that each one of you would repost comment this on your Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn pages. We have to stand up against such dishonest business practices. If someone has a real product, they certainly do not have to DECEIVE THE PUBLIC by hidden charges that come out of your bank accounts unannounced. 

...in sickness and in health

I can't remember the last time I was so sick. I was fine Saturday morning but by that afternoon I had passed out at least twice and was wringing wet with sweat after each trip to the bathroom to throw up. The dreaded flu bug had descended on our house with a vengeance. Dianna came down with it the Wednesday before and I thought I had escaped, but not so. This bug is devastating. My ribs are extremely sore and I have had a hard time keeping warm.
It may just be me or have the 'bugs' been especially rough these past few years? I have been spared the worst of it by far but still, I keep seeing and hearing about how bad this person was or how hard that person had it and it makes me wonder.
I can barely get out of bed and make it to the couch before I'm ready for a nap. I have little to no strength and I have had a small bowl of soup, a grilled cheese and some Ginger Ale plus a handful of snack crackers in the past 48 hours. I really feel sorry for the ones that have had this worse than I have. Dianna gave me a shot of Tea Tree Oil in some Ginger Ale a few hours before I got really sick. I think that cut my bout with the bug in half or more. Had we thought of it even sooner, I may not have even gotten sick at all.
Dianna spent the night on the bathroom floor when she got ill and didn't get out of bed for almost four days. I feel very blessed to have missed that ordeal. Even while I was getting so sick she was by my side 'doctoring' me and keeping me from falling and picking me up after passing out. I don't know how she does it. I could tell she was weak but she gathered enough 'whatever' to do what needed to be done hour after hour through the two days and nights of misery. There is no stronger trooper in my opinion.
"In sickness and in health...."

I can't get my head around this....

The mass hysteria of the holidays has begun. I see the cars moving faster, darting in and out and acting more frantic in the shopping center parking lots. The shoppers have a quicker pace about them going to and from ther stores and scurry back and forth. No one seems to be at peace in this, 'the season of peace'. How sad.
I like to think back to a time of relative peace when the "Christmas season" started after Thanksgiving and ended on Christmas Day. People stopped to visit as they went about the Christmas shopping experience almost as though it was a great big party and everyone was invited and knew the other person; neighbors as it were even if they were strangers. It didn't have to snow or be all lit up with hundreds of sparkling lights. It was, well, "cozy".
The suspicions of the day have seperated us from each other. That and technology. So many are 'buried' in their screens, intent on whatever it is they are viewing and anythng elae is insignificant at best.
I recently watched part of a documentary on 13 year olds. I was amazed at what I saw. These young people have a totally divergent lifestyle. They 'live' on their phones. And to make matters worse, they ridicule each other on an almost constant basis. Now, to be clear, these youngsters don't reach outside of their 'group' to ridicule asnd slander and torment; they do it all within a tight circle of peers, tearing each apart in a terrible game of destruction. The examples were astounding. Trash talk and pornography, character assasination and deceitful language are the 'norm' for these young ones. How could this have happened to a whole generation of people? They are so disfunctional and self absorbed. What's going to happen ten years from now; twenty? I can't imagine the chaos as these people take up the leadership roles in government and social services and private companies that deal directly with the public. Seemingly, no one is addressing the issue in the schools for the most part. It's accepted as normal teen behavior. The parents are oblivious; engulfed in their own 'seperate' lives; texting....
I can't get my head around this.

... still so true

It's been so long. I haven't even thought to write anything here; even knowing I should. We have been involved with so many things of late that the writing has taken a hit. I know I should do better and I even have several thoughts to pass along that are already written down; it's just a time thing.

How often do we take stock? I mean really look at the value of a project or duty or better yet, commitments? Have we taken on too many things and the burden is weighing on us like a rock in our pocket that  just won't go away?

I'm happier than I have ever been. The world around me is much smaller right now and I think that's a good thing for me. I tend to stretch out too far and over extend, in an effort to cover all the bases when I know I can't. But don't we all?

Our lives have so many options these days. There are far too many choices. People say choices are a good thing but I disagree. When the world puts so many things in front of us that we get confused as to which one is which, then there are too many choices. That's all there is to it.

Now I've said it and I'll have to stick to it..... Ha!

I trust that all is well wherever you are tonight. I am appalled at the course of events in Paris. So many dead and for what? No good reason that's for sure.

I know I keep pointing to Revelations but it's so true, so real and so right on time! The words pounce on me as I read them. Here is the daily news written thousands of years ago and yet, it's current news and still prophetic, still coming on strong, still coming about.... still so true.

Lord, help me....

What happens to the time? I look up and its been another couple of months. How does the time get by so quickly.

We have so many things going on in our lives today. The weather factors in and the many tasks we line up for ourselves creates a never ending list of choices and duties and we just keep on keepin' on...

I have to get my mind off the financial. It has plagued me for far too long. That's not what really matters and I know it. Worry sure takes all the fun out of life, doesn't it? And it's a proven fact that worry is far to overrated and stressful to be of any value. 

I so admire my wife. She doesn't seem to let anything stress her out but me. I think I stress her out, but it isn't on purpose. She must really love me or something... I think that produces a certain amunt of stress in and of it's self. The love. The attention and the thought process of caring and wondering how someone is doing at any given moment in time. Our brains process and we 'conclude' and rethink and process all over again.
Funny how the brain works. How the mind runs over all the possibilities and makes judgements and decisions based on perceptions and feelinngs. We are truly amazing creatures indeed.

I am wondering how long it will be until the next post. Lord, help me remember.

enjoying the rain and studying something new.

I have really enjoyed the rain. Most people I know have been anxious for it to be over but I don't think they are remembering the years when we had nothing but heat to look forward to each day from May to September.
I've been in line at the grocery recently. Almost every time someone either in line or at the register had something to say about the weather. The tornadoes and the wind have scrambled neighborhoods all across the state leaving some homeless and in some cases severely injured. It's hard to watch the reports on television when they show the families standing alongside a ravaged home. I marvel at how blessed Dianna and I are, not having suffered any loss and yet being so close to the total devastation that took place only a short distance away. We could easily be right there with the worst of them,waiting on The Red Cross to bring us things like blankets and other necessities,having lost everything.
I have been studying a new course on Social Media this week. It is pretty extensive but I think that once I 'master' the material I should be in line for certification as a Social Media Strategist. Thus far the material is pretty easy to understand even though the teacher has a squeaky voice that is so irritating I want to scream by the end of the day. Each session is about 20 minutes long and she moves quickly from one area to another with the mouse and not necessarily pointing to what she is talking about. It's confusing sometimes but I am recording the videos so I can go back over them later as needed.
I'm certainly not used to 'studying' after all this time. It's been almost 50 years since I was in school so its taking a little getting used to, as it were, 'watching' the teacher go through her routine. She knows her stuff front and back but she doesn't explain herself very well, skipping back and forth at a pretty fast pace. I'll have to do some extra work if I'm to be proficient with each facet of the material. I can envision a lot better teaching method for things like this but its not my course so I'll just have to conform to her standard and make the best of it for now.
If it turns out as planned this will be a big step toward knowing how to get good results for clients on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Blogging, and other Social Media programs. We bought a Groupon for the course and I certainly don't want to waste the money, so I plan on passing the tests with good marks.
Look for major improvements on all my Social Media and hopefully, all of my clients.

...even if I don't 'get even'

I wanted to lash out in anger today but I held back. That's progress, right?
I was dissed in a round about way and ridiculed about my work. It hurt and I became angry; an old defense mechanism that kicks in.

How do we handle criticism? Are we to be silent or speak out? Are we to 'get even' or 'let it go'? Are we not human and vulnerable when attacked by our fellow humans, whose words often hurt more than blows? I wonder. The Bible tells us to 'be still' and let God fight our battles. I have a hard time with that one, as do most. We want to return evil for evil and retort in a way that makes us 'more than even'.
I am often saddened by my thoughts. I have such a vivid imagination anyway, it's not too much of a stretch to envision some drastic measures being carried out to 'get even'. I'll leave it at that and not explain further, but I suspect there are those of us out there that know some of the things I may be thinking.
What does 'getting even' really mean? Does that mean we do the same thing to an adversary or worse? Does that get us 'even' with them or do we always have to surpass their level of 'blow' to make an even heavier blow and overcome the enemy? Is that what people call "getting even"? I wonder.

At times like this I fret, I steam and fume inside and wish I didn't have to go through all of this, but here I am. Why doesn't everything just line up in a perfect row and let me go through my day with great joy and anticipation of what is coming next? Ideally, I would be king and all of my subjects would bow and scrape and make my life the pinnacle of success. Everyone would adore my music and my writings and I wouldn't be able to keep up with the demand.
Oh brother! What a disaster that would be. I am so far from perfection it isn't funny; not even humorous.
I better stick to repenting and going on my merry way and leave it at that. This whole forgiveness thing and not losing my joy is tough, I know, but I see the value in it; the reasoning, the end results. That's what makes it all worth trying even if I don't 'get even'.

....that speaks volumes...

The rain has gone away for a few days. We have all enjoyed a beautiful day under bright blue vistas decorated with small far away clouds high up in the sparkling sky. I love days like this.
I mowed some of 'my yards' earlier. They had gotten a little out of hand with all the moisture being so geneously applied, but I 'conquered' them in a little over two hours and made it back to the house in pretty good shape for once.
I usually end up having to take a nap when it's all over but not this time. I felt refreshed when I got out of the shower and eventually headed out for the studio to get ready for church.
It's aWednesday night service and we are studying Revelation right now. My expectations have changed after sitting through a few of the classes. I was thinking that it might be a little boring, having been through previous teachings on the same subject, but not so here. Brother Ray Libby is well versed on the subject and keeps us busy turning pages all through the Word in search of all kinds of verifications and insights about the various topics revealed in this powerful book.
I am learning alot and that's what makes it so great.
Often times the 'teacher' has a 'slant' on his or her subject and it always wears thin after a bit, leaving me with far less than expected and sometimes a there's even a disappointment attached to it for having attended. Not so here.
I am looking forward to what he has to offer. That speaks volumes....

....its what keeps us alive

Are we free? Do we have say over what we do or do not do? Can we do whatever we want without reservation? What is freedom anyway? Is it just a byword or a catch phrase or a public direction waiting to be activated by some unknown power?
It it flesh and blood, metal or plastic, wood, hay or stubble? What is freedom, really?
Where does freedom come from and how does it connect us and make us one? Is your freedom the same as my freedom or do you have more of it to use than I do or vice versa?
Are we in search of freedom or is it always with us, present and powerful and operating the way it is intended?
How do others see freedom? Do they keep it to themselves or do they pass it around 'freely' to one and all as they would a glass of water to a thirsty man? What constitutes real freedom? Is it just a mental state that can only be reached by and through the minds of the wise or the rich, or do the poor and the needy have access to freedom like the rest?
Why do we need freedom? Are we in danger of being held captive by some thought or deed or power that takes our freedom away from us and keeps it captive?
In what hour did freedom come and in what hour will it leave? Have we built a towering altar to freedom and shut the door to it's graces or have we flung wide the gates allowing all to enter that will so they may drink from the sweetness of it's depths?
Freedom will never leave on it's own, it will have to be taken; surrounded and conquered and led away in chains to some dark and dreary place that no one can find.
It is our duty to nourish freedom; build it and make it stronger than any oppression or oppressor.
We must take and keep our freedom like we do a good medicine, made for our benefit and sustenance. Its what keeps us alive.

...and eventually boldness

I keep having these dreams where I'm suddenly standing up and declaring the Word of the Lord very boldly to people in various public places.
 I just stand up and begin speaking as if 'on cue'. It's usually as a 'scene' in one of my dream is ending and there is some significant point to be made about what has just happened.
Its like being in a movie, an action movie.

I don't want to sound egotisical in all of this, but I have to say, the boldness is something I've never experienced outside of these dreams. It's a sureness and an energy and the words just flow out like a well rehearsed song and they have continuity and a specific message and its powerful and unmistakable. I know they aren't my words but His words surging forth with great strength and purpose.

It's very exciting and I don't want to wake up for fear of missng something.... but I do, and then I can't rememeber what I've said exactly and then I'm dissappointed.
It's like hearing the words to a new song almost all the way through in a dream and then not recalling any of the words when I wake up and get my pen and paper and get ready to write....

This has happened in the past. It was years ago when I was bringing the Word at the Jesus House on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but not as strong as it is now. The strength is intense and its almost as though it radiates and carries a surge of power with it, for a distance, and then it decays and goes away like a reveb.
I wouldn't think or talk about it this much if it had just happened once or twice. This is an ongoing occurrance; albeit, not every night.

How amazing is our Lord! He gives us these 'gifts' and 'surprizes' out of nowhere. I dont expect it. It just happens.
 I thought about keeping this to myself but what if it does manifest itself when I'm awake?This way I'll have a record of telling about it beforehand. Then it won't be as though I made it up and just wanted to be noticed.
That's not my heart at all. I only want what He wants for me. I only want His words in my mouth. I only want to do what He wants me to do. That's a given, but how do I handle this? Shouldn't I share this with others? I think so. Its imortant to share. Keeping things inside only leads to stagnation and depression and God knows I don't want to get depressed or stagnate.
I want to write and sing and see the beauty that is in creation and know that everyone around me can as well.
That's where our joy comes from. The inner joy that breeds security and confidence and eventually boldness.

Now that's power to the people, people...

It's been an eventful birthday.
I got over 50 facebook posts wishing me a 'Happy' today. How nice to be remembered by so many dear friends. I didn't have any idea  there would be that many.
Looking back on it, I think that there are too few rememberances of our celebrations and milestones. Everyone seems so busy; and to what end?

The weeks pass by so swiftly and yet nothng changes but the weather or where the next terrorist attack has taken place. Everything sounds the same anymore and tastes the same and feels the same. Variety has vacated the premises. It's all 'packaging'.
Watching the news is like watching a meandering river that keeps circling round to meet itself again, continuing on and on in a never ending cycle of 'sameness'. The news channels cover one story for days on end when there are far more newsworthy subjects 'begging' to be addressed. A single plane crash takes ten days to report, while a drone strike in the Middle East has taken out a group of top terrorist leaders, but never gets so much as a mention on the top networks. It's ludicrous. Reuters reports what goes on as the big television networks spend hour upon hour discussing what a man was thinking when he crashed a plane filled with innocent people. He was nuts people! What else can you say about it? Why beleager the point past reporting what you know about it instead of what you are speculating. Who wants to hear 'speculation' when you are looking for actual news?

I rememeber the 60's; when nothing was alike. Everything had to be different from everyone else's.... 'whatever'. Colors were fading in and out and then growing brighter again and then fading out again. It was like everything was  progressing into a rainbow of change, especially the thoughts and actions of the people. It didn't matter if you were a president or a pauper. The idea was to be different somehow and to accept the differences around you as part of what life was all about. We didn't try to 'bottle' everything up or 'package' it, we just looked for something to create that made life easier, and simpler and more peaceful and less stressful.

It's like stress is a necessity today. If you don't have stress, you create some, to be like everyone else around you so that you're not seen as 'different'. The norm has turned into a bad disco song that doesn't end, it just repeats and repeats and repeats.... I think we need a spiritual booster shot.

If everyone stopped everything they were doing for one day and just sat quietly listening for the Master's voice until it comes. It wouldn't take long. Just a bit of time with nothing on your mind but God and His purpose for your life.
That would solve a lot of the world's issues right there. A simple exchange between Creator and created, to get thngs back on track; running in the right direction at maximum power and productivity. Now that's power to the people, people...

...loving far outreaches the alternative

I'm another year older and I certainly feel it.
In fact, I spent most of the day yesterday on the couch. What a wimp!
No, this isn't going to be a gripe, I'm pleased that I got his far judging by the condition my condition is in.
It wasn't too long ago that I was questioning the possibilities, but here I am, still in one piece; still breathing.
There are so many in worse shape than I am. I marvel at some; the ones that never complain. They only issue words of comfort and encouragement even though the circumstances are far from bright. How I admire them with their stalwart personalities and strong convictions.
What with the 'climate' around the globe these days, it is easy to see how some might take exception to a favorable outlook on life. The news is often bleak and brimming with death and dire straits. Suffering is glamorized by polished reporters looking more like extras in a movie than news people. The ever increasing hatred that's growing day by day seems as though it may overtake the good that others do but I'm holding out for the positive. We can still change for the better if only we will try. Loving far outreaches the alternative.

I pray that it is so...

...how crazy things get sometimes...
I looked up and once again it had been way too long since I have written anything here. The more I try the less I seem to get accomplished. I do get things done, it just seems like its somewhere else.
Actually, I haven't written anywhere else but in the newspaper of late. I have had the opportuinity to do some articles for the Choctaw Times and I have thoroughly enjoyed doing them. The Editor is a great guy that gives me a lead and lets me take it from there. I want to get involved a bit to much in some of the subjects but Ryan (the Editor), pulls on the reins and I come back into line pretty easily.
There are so many things going on its hard to keep track. I completetly forgot to go to the Nursing Center today. I usually go once a month and sing, but I just spaced it out today and only remmbered it just as I was suppopsed to be there. Go figure.
I'll be 66 in a couple of weeks. It seems as though I am a lot older than that at times and then there are times when I feel like I'm 10. I want ice cream and cookies and a big bicycle to ride throught the park but I'm not gonna get the bike.
I find myself looking at Di more and more each day as well. She is such a soldier. I know how badly she hurts and still she keeps on going, day after day, never missing a beat. I only wish that there could be a way to ease her pain or even take it away all together. She most certainly doesn't deserve to have it this way, as much as she does for everyone.
When it gets still and the day has passed into another night, I think of all the hours spent working away at one thing or another. Has it been fruitful? Have I been doing what the Master wants me doing?
I pray that it is so,

...aren't we pretty close?

Time just seems to flow out of the hourglass like water. I look up and a month or more has gone by since I last posted anything here. How sad. Have I lost all sense of time? No. I just don't look at time the same way I did in the past. It's as though it doesn't exist anymore. Bare with me for a moment, please.There are just too many restrictions involved. It takes everything and twists it into a shape we're not familiar with and then it expects us to accept the obvious change without question. How quaint. Those of us that hate change really take a beating.... Time, the bully if you will.

I looked at my progress and saw lethargy. I have slowed to a crawl in too many areas. My completion rate is almost nill in comparison to three or even two years ago. I can't blame it it on age even though I would like to. It's inside. It's sitting there like a huge rock on front of the door of "doing something", keeping me from leaving the room called "idle".... and everyone knows I don't idle well... at least everyone that knows me...
The atmosphere has changed. The surroundings, the constants, the 'air pressure', everything. I can't recall any worse time. I dread watching the news and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to the light. It keeps swirling like a small tornado off in the distance from country to country without resolution; much like a bad chord in a song played at the end. You can't quite put your finger on what's causing all of these things and yet you know, down deep, exactly what it is ...and then the system shuts down and opens up the 'denial syndrome' like a new window on a computer screen. ....
"Oh, it's not as bad as all that.... is it? Yes, it is.

Thank God for grace. We have our redemption. The price has been paid, we just have to do our part and the puzzle will come together and the end will come. I will be so glad when it does.
I see far too much hurting and anger and pain and destruction around me. The only solace is the Lord.

I find comfort in him and in Dianna's arms. She has a comforting spirit that gives me peace and negates all the tensions that build up each day when I'm away from her. What a lightening rod. She can dispell all evil in one look; one touch. I keep reaching over to touch her as we sit together each night. It's as though I have a "Dianna deficientcy" and her touch restores the loss. I regain sanity when she hands me that bowl of ice cream and I can settle back in my chair like a big panda with a fresh bamboo shoot.

How much longer Lord? I don't want to see anybody miss out on heaven, but aren't we pretty close?

...those of us that seek....

Are we so caught up in our own worlds that we don't see what is going on right under our own noses?
The times are so evident, so plain, that I marvel at the ignorance of the masses.
"We like sheep have gone astray...."

I sat dumbfounded listening to the president's speech. His characterizaions were so skewed I wondered how he kept a straight face for so long. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was a carney selling me a bill of goods in a sideshow. The spinning retheric wound around and around mesmerizing some and sickening others.
We are so 'in trouble'. How can people continue to ignore his record; his blatant actions that are tearing at the basic fabric of our nation, like the wolf he is? If you look closely, you will see the holes in his stories so plainly that it boggles the mind to see the reactions of our 'leaders' as they glibely comment on the rise in his approval ratings as if it were a good thing. I certainly do not approve. I am greatly saddened by the general public's view of this charletain. How can they be so obtuse?

History will one day write the story and many will be incredulous to see what he has destroyed by his under handed tactics and deceptions. I say again; we are so 'in trouble'.
I thank God for his mercy and his longsuffering. We will have a lot to answer for in the fnal judgement but it seems that God is stil giving us time to 'turn about' and recover. Israel has been in this positin over and over again and God always came to their aid when they repented.
The things we did not do; cheifly, stopping this man when we could, will come back to haunt us for decades; if we last that long. We have most assuredly shortened our days by our actions or rather by our inactions. Either way we cannot stand much more of this type of leadership and example. Our enemies see it as plainly as we do but even more so. They see ways to subvert and circomvent the truth so that their agendas are supported and implemented instead of the right ways of doing things. There are no rules for them. They win at any cost and sadly, the cost is always paid for by those of us that seek right and truth and peace.

...only he can

How many times have you found yourself frustrated with the work you are doing? I realized that I was getting more and more uptight about a job I had been doing for a man that lives near us. He had asked me a few months ago to replace the floor below his shower. It had fallen through and needed replacing along with the walls and floor pan. I finally agreed to begin on what I thought would be a short weeks work. As of today I have been on this job almost three weeks. Anything that could go wrong has. Everything is taking 4 times the amount of time I originally thought it would take and the cost has more than doubled. He has been very nice about it all, but I believe he too is getting frustrated and that, of course creates stress for the both of us. No one likes stress.
I have a few things left to do, weather allowing, and I'll finally be done. How does one deal with circumstances like these? I thank God that I have a place to go to get my peace back in times like this. I can get off to myself and just 'veg' with the Lord and let him calm my spirit. Nothing soothes more than that. The stillness and the surety that he is there, applying the salve of comfort and well being only he can.

...for many of us

The wind was singing all night. I woke up several times, promptly going right back to sleep until about 5:30 or so. It was harder to get back to sleep after that for some reason but I made a valiant attempt.

The alarm sounded at 8 and I dragged myself to an upright position and onto the floor, dreading every second. 

This was the first 'cold' morning of the season. People should be able to enjoy the warm covers and the view from inside the eyelids and not have to 'do the daily'...unless they want to. That of course is the lazy me talking. I had a doctor's appointment and staying in bed was a much better option even if I didn't get to take advantage of it.

I know, some of you are thinking 'those thoughts' right now and wondering if I'm getting soft but don't go mistakin' my 'want to's' with my 'have to's'. I got up. I made it to the appointment.... on time. So there, I've said it and I'm not takin' it back. There has got to be one of these mornings in your past as well, admit it, you are tempted to hit the snooze button now and then yourself.... yeah, I knew it... I can see it it in your eyes....(metaphorically speaking) Yawn.

Isn't it funny how we treat ourselves sometimes? I mean, there are times when I have all the energy in the world and can go and go and I get things done left and right. And then there are 'those' times when I can't even get enough energy up to think about what's next. I lean back in my chair and cross my legs and stretch my arms out and cross them over my chest and just sigh out loud, disgusted at my attitude.

I always have to be 'doing', planning, measuring, gauging..."finishing", or I don't think I've accomplished anything.

And then I'm reminded of the times Jesus took the disciples aside "for a rest". They weren't always 'doing'. They 'rested' sometimes.

They didn't 'hang out', they rested. They restored the energies they had expended and regained their strength, making ready for the next battle, the next encounter, the next miracle.

I say, "don't be afraid to rest". The days ahead may be long and arduous for many of us.

....we the people

We The People.

                                                                                              

What does it mean when we say “We, the people”?

Does it mean that, as “the people”, we have certain rights to say and do certain things as free human beings in a free society? Or have we perhaps traveled so far away from that austere and humble beginning that we now overlook some of “the people” that should have these rights?

Have we committed ourselves wholly to this premise, planning carefully to include all citizens in these rights and privileges? The same rights and privileges that we so proudly flaunt on the global stage as being available to all?

Let’s take a moment and look at some of our citizens and their conditions to see if we really are who we say we are. This venture into reality may paint a somewhat different picture.

After every war there has been a time of rebuilding, reshaping and rehabilitation; a time of rest, if you will. People on either side of the conflict have had definite advantages or disadvantages, and close observation easily tells us where compassion truly lies.

On the one hand, we pour our time and hard earned resources into projects that seemingly make great strides toward healing, all the while leaving holes in the tapestry of the moment, only to see far too many seeping through the cracks, falling on hard times.

Often times our best efforts are jaded by the greed of the very facilitators we have entrusted to carry out those intricately designed and well-funded plans. We fall short of the mark leaving disappointed lives scattered about the landscape like so many forgotten leaves in autumn. Is it any wonder that we look back in disgust at those uncompleted dreams and complain to the snoring that sit by doing nothing because apathy has overtaken pride, lulling them to sleep.

We, the people, have changed. When leadership polls for answers and hides among the laws we are without leaders. When truth is a variable the only constant is change. We need stability not more change. 

Our borders are fluid and without definition. We no longer contain as a sovereign nation the stable ingredients of right over wrong and good over evil. Our moral compass has lost its magnetic north and now swings about wildly without true direction. Minorities rule majorities with vague innuendo and dictate policy, overstepping their place and overruling true order.

The inevitable reckoning will be swift and without warning, because warning has not worked. It has only served to become fodder for the canons of the unscrupulous that spin their webs of deceit in the hearts of the innocent and unsuspecting. The toll will be entire, save for the remnant and that only by the fulfilling of the Word.

And so, we, the people are in trouble. We are like the unruly child that will not see the truth that is so evidently displayed before us. We choose the candy of sin and deprivation over the healing bread of righteousness and truth.

wasssz-up? .... at least it's not my fault....

I received a phone call this morning informing me that all of my websites are down.
This has only happened one other time, so I am interested to find out the cause.
More often than not, in the past, I would be standing on my head to know "the reason" and not liking the wait involved in getting in touch with tech support. At this point it's down from 28 minutes to 10.... and counting.
However, this time I have a comfortable calmness about me and seem more or less at peace with the process. I must be gaining some ground in the patience department. Kewl.
So now I am wondering what I will be like once I know the reason for the lapse in service. Is it my fault or someone else's? We'll see.
The past few weeks I have been "under the weather". My doctor tells me I have developed two 50% blockages in my heart. That makes 4 altogether if you count the two that nearly killed me 15 years ago.
I had been in for  a checkup about 4 or 5 years ago and the Doc told me that the good side of my heart had grown blood vessels over to the bad side and restored the blood flow. Although its unusual its not unheard of and yet I consider it a miracle considering all that's transpired in the past.
God really knows how to do things. He makes a 'machine' that can fix itself. Pretty clever indeed.
I can't imagine why people don't believe in him more than they do. My life alone should convince even the hardiest of agnostics that God is real and alive and working every day to make our lives better and more complete.
Report:
The servers are down, according to the Host company. At least it's not my fault this time

...breathe in... breathe out....

The news is bad. I just found out that the man I was helping, not the bad guy, the good guy, has been abandoned in a small town about 50 miles away. The bad guy took all of his money and belongings and fled in the night.
I am just out of the hospital and this has only added to my woes. It really takes a toll on your 'spirit' when things like this happen. I have no way of getting to my friend to bring him home and I really don't know if he has a place to come to in the event that I have transportation for him. This is all so disheartening. I had such high hopes that this program would bring light to the situation of the veterans but it has only served to be a fiasco for all involved.
I haven't always been an angel, to say the least, but I have always tried to help when I could. I suppose my grandmother did a good job in that department. The thought of seeing someone in a wheelchair taken advantage of is not setting well with me at this point. I have to keep a tight grip on my emotions just now. My condition calls for peace and quiet, but it's not forthcoming. I have an upheaval inside that calls for retribution, knowing that's not the answer.
I know I'll get past this stage but I am not liking what I feel inside right now. The 'old John' wants to surface and make amends for my friend and yet, there in the depths, is that little voice whispering, "forgive". That helps. I can look to that and reach for peace and tranquility and overcome this slowly rising tide of bitterness that's trying to override the good.
"breathe in.... breathe out...."

...and righteousness

I tried to help someone. I saw a need and did what I could. It turned out that there was dishonesty in the mix. One of the people has a bad record of scamming people and I found out about it after I had built them a website and put my name on it.
I am saddened by the way this man is going about making money from people that have big hearts and want to help others. His list of deeds precedes him and people are calling me telling me to look him up on the internet.
I did. It's sad. He has hurt a lot of people and it looks as though he isn't about to stop.

I know that sooner or later it will be made public knowledge, but to what end? He will only go somewhere else and begin all over again...hurting others with his greed; finding yet another scam to play.
It makes me wonder how they do it. How can a person do such things to another person? What has happened to decency and honor ...and righteousness?

...out there to be attained

I think I've overloaded. I keep running into myself coming around the corner....
Seriously, a person can do too much if he's not careful.
I ran into two guys yesterday. They are on their way to Washington DC to see Obama.
I don't know that they will get in to see him or not, but they are Americans and he is working for us, right? It shouldn't be too much to ask for a real Army vet to get an audience with the 'prez', if he has an important enough agenda; especially something that can affect all the vets.
The medical, financial and spiritual situation for our warriors is abysmal. They risk life and limb for our country and then get mistreated when it comes time to get them the help they need; that's just wrong.
I served from June 1966 to September 1969 in the Marine Corps. I wouldn't trade one moment of it, for anything else. I would serve again, if needed and gladly. I know the reasons people serve. Some can and should be displayed; others shouldn't . We have to keep freedom, it's the only hope we have when it comes to existence. Evil would destroy all if left unchecked.
The forces of evil grow stronger daily. We have to find ways to overcome that evil and show the world the beauty of freedom. Choice has gone awry. We used to choose things that were wholesome and fulfilling. Somehow the idea has become skewed. Choice was meant to be for 'the good of all', and that has certainly changed. Selfishness has replaced selflessness creating a vacuum of sorts that sucks everything down to the lower levels.

I have taken over the website for the two guys going to DC. I want to be a part of something that can make a difference for good and introduce the higher ideals of man. That's what drives me; the good that is still out there to be attained.

.....only positives

The days and weeks are ticking by so fast I don't even realize I have missed doing the blog.

I have been writing a lot of late and that seems to take me away from this part of the routine, so please forgive my  lapse in memory. Since my last post I have probably written a half dozen songs or more. I love it. The ideas come so quickly that I have to immediately stop whatever I am into at the moment and write it down or it's gone; and there's just no getting it back.
The radio station is up and running but I haven't even had time to check on it for the last two weeks. I have some stories coming up that need to be recorded and some new promos, so it looks like I better start writing down things to do or I'll be right back where I am now.... behind.
I can recall not having very much at all on the 'drawing board' not too many months ago. I also remember complaining about it. Now I'm complaining about having too much to do.
The Lord is so good to me. I shouldn't complain about anything. I have the best wife on earth ("ERF" as my granddaughter, Kyleigh puts it) I have a great studio to work in with everything I need to produce whatever I come up with. I have the best clients. They all like what I do for them and I am free to do whatever I want at any given time. There are no negatives, only positives.

...planning the party

How far have we come? How far do we yet have to go? How long have we waited for things to fall into place that bring success to our lives?  What is the future looking like for those of us that trust the Lord for what we have and will have?
These and many more questions have come up in conversations of late. We are seeing the changes take place that will bring about the end of the age. Time is more and more relative. There is very little of it left.
The more I read and hear from others of like faith and purpose, the more I see it coming to pass, just as God has laid it out in the Word. There is no mistaking the evidence. We are in the last days.
My spirit leaps every time I hear another report on Israel. I am waiting for the signature report on the "new treaty" that will last seven years. That's all I need to hear. I will start planning the party.

...and that's creating new things

I am learning a new software program so I can easily schedule songs on the new internet radio station. I  always expect  problems in the beginning when I begin working with new software and this is certainly no exception. I do think the new software will make things a lot better, but the learning curve is pretty steep for me at this point. I'm going to have be more patient with this program. It has a lot of features and the navigation is pretty specific. To make things even more difficult, the designer isn't very good at communicating instructions. He did well designing the program but he didn't make the tutorials very user friendly and that stretches out the time it takes to get a handle on what is going on.
It's a lot of fun getting everything the way it needs to be to make the station 'come alive', but I don't much care for the 'techy' stuff it takes to set everything up. I like the writing, recording and music creation side so much more. That comes after everything is in place and running properly.
Isn't that the way of things in general? We often have to wait for the 'setup' and we all know that patience is most certainly a virtue no matter who you are.
What I am enjoying most of all is the freedom to do what I love.... and that's creating new things.

...it just comes out like bragging.

The idea of a children's radio station had been in the back of my mind for some time now. I had wanted someone else to do it, but I knew... it would be me, in the end. That's okay, I rather like the idea of being a kid again anyway. I can act silly and have it be "my job".... So here we are at day 7 and counting, setting up the music, recording the promos, downloading and formatting what has to be formatted. Learning another program is in order as well. It will be a tremendous help as we begin assembling the 'parts' of the programming. That will leave me more time to do what I want to do.

I want to spend the majority of my time recording and producing the special programming. That in and of itself is the crux of the station anyway. We will sink or swim according to the quality we put out and I definitely want to do more than just the basics. This can be a whole new world if we do it right.

I have a lot to learn about children's music and stories and so forth. I have been on the outside of that 'realm' for a long time. There are so many choices; I had no idea even existed and I can see it taking some time to get 'acquainted' with everything there is to offer.
I am excited to be doing it. There are so many positives related to it, one of which I dearly love. I get to work full time for the Lord, plus I get to use all the gifts and talents he has given me to make it all work.
 I know that sounds a bit like bragging when I read back over it but it's not. I'm so overwhelmed with the aspect, it just comes out like bragging.

...not only in numbers...

I like it when I get down to the finishing touches on a project. When I can see the 'light at the end of the tunnel' the satisfaction of doing a good job starts to sit comfortably in my spirit.
I am about to complete the poetry book and send it off to the printer. It has been a long process but I have enjoyed almost every aspect of it immensely.
The author is new to publishing but I have great expectations for her. She has the right spirit about her writing and doesn't cut corners to get things done. I like that. There is an innocence combined with a 'knowing' in her words. That makes for better copy all the way around.
If all goes as planned the book will be in the hands of the printer by Monday or Tuesday and we'll have the proof in a few days.
We have looked forward to this for many days. The anticipation is mounting. I only hope the outcome matches the feelings and we see a successful end to the process.
So many times, the hype doesn't match the reality and the letdown ends up deflating the spirits 'energy' which ultimately brings about a depression of sorts.
I see so many discouraged artists. They have no place to go, no place to really play or display if you will, their work in the proper atmosphere. That's why I long to see a "Songwriter's Sanctuary" here in the Oklahoma city area. A place for original artists to congregate and share and perform and grow and thrive like we did back in the 60's in the hundreds of coffeehouses of the time. The public supported it and loved it and the artists found the recognition they needed and longed for that inspired and validated their talents. That environment 'grew' new material daily and the artists an audience grew not only in numbers but in quality.

...who he says he is.

I'm feeling lazy today. The hot summer temps have been rolled back by an unusual cold front, bringing in the most wonderful coolness. The slight mist is quite refreshing indeed.

After our short vacation to Dallas last week, I should be well rested and ready for the 'fray' once again but instead, I am lethargic and hesitant to begin any real work. I don't like inactivity but I can't seem to 'get my motor running' toward the next effort. Even my thinking is slow to a certain extent.
There is quite a lot to do when I stop and think abut it. I just can't 'get in gear' for some reason.

I have been praying in the spirit quite a bit of late. I find myself engaged almost every time I am in the car. That more or less has been my prayer closet for many years anyway, so I think I'm moving in the right direction in that department anyway. The multitude of thoughts and variety of people that cross my mind when I'm praying seems to have multiplied as well. I 'randomly' pass over the people's faces as I pray. To me, that seems to indicate the need to lift them up to the Father for their particular need and circumstance even if I don't know what the need is at that moment in time. I just trust Him to discern and act as I continue praying.
There is a great relief for me and comfort when I pray in the spirit. Its as though I can release everything into the Master's hands and not have to worry about the outcome.

I think prayer in general is designed that way. First we must learn who is Master and who is servant. Then we rely on what is in the Master's plan for our lives, and hopefully, wait with patience for it to come about as we follow the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit. Its simple and direct enough and even easy to do, if we trust God to be who he says he is.

... when the time comes

"I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God...."

It isn't easy to keep going nowadays when it seems as though all odds are against you. I worked hour on end on the radio station only to see it crumble and fall. My partner pulled out even before the station went off the air...giving up with little to no effort.
Why is it so easy for people to abandon the work? It was, after all 'his vision', not mine. It's so much harder to start over and so much easier to build on something that's already there. Foundations are the hardest part of the building pprocess.

I'll go on to the other work God has presented me with and try to reason this out in my mind. I had such high hopes and such confidence in the vision and yet it still fell apart like a house of cards in the wind.

We have to be more careful with what we choose to do; what we take on as tasks and projects. The time it takes, the investment of resources, the personal involvements and the lives we effect are all tied up in the effort. If it fails, all of those ingredients are wasted and there is nothing to show for all that time and work and investment. The emotional toll is high as well. I can't begin to evaluate what this has taken out of my 'creative spirit' that will never be replaced.
I will look hard and long at this. We can't waste time on temporary things... the kingdom cannot wait for us to 'catch up' and be ready for ..."when the time comes."

...to say the least

The rigors of driving and everything else to do with Dad's funeral has drained me. I am certainly not thinking clearly at this juncture but I did rest well last night.
On top of it all the news of Jack's death hit me pretty hard. I did not expect to get that sort of news, especially when I did. We were having dinner at a restaurant with our pastor and his family after church when I happened to check my phone. I almost never use my phone on Sundays. I either leave it at home or I turn it off completely but this time I had it with me and for some odd reason, pulled it out to look at it as we finished eating.
I had received a message from one of my associates saying he had bad news. My only contact with him was through Jack so I instantly knew Jack was dead. He confirmed my thoughts, describing the accident  in detail and I think I went into shock. I don't recall driving home that night but I must have. I was alone in my car and Di had driven hers to church that night, so that meant that I had to have driven home.
Jack was crossing the street after going to Braum's for 'supplies' and was the victim of a horrible hit and run accident. The impact didn't kill him right away but he didn't make it to the hospital alive.

Once we arrived at home we watched the news coverage and I instantly recognized the ball cap Jack used to wear all the time. It was lying there in the street next to a half melted box of his favorite flavor of ice cream. I still see that picture over and over in my mind and I hurt for him, knowing the pain he must have gone through in those last few minutes of his life.

I worked with Jack when he first started Jack's Answer. I even got to name the product and design the label on the bottles. I was very proud of what we did together and certainly learned a great deal about business from my friend. He had more or less become a father figure to me in many ways even though we definitely had our differences at times. He was very strong willed and that didn't leave much room for other people's opinions. I overlooked that for the most part but I did get pretty mad at him from time to time. I will greatly miss my friend and mentor, to say the least.

... if they do

I lost my Grandmother when I was about 15. It was a strained relationship to say the least but I loved her very much. She died in the hospital after a bad surgery after an appendicitis attack. It happened very suddenly but I saw it coming.  I was at work at the time.
In those days young people could work at an early age and I did. In fact, I had my own apartment, my own car and a job while working about 30 hours a week. I had left my Grandparents home almost a year earlier and gone to live with my mother and older sister in Arkansas. That's another story. It hadn't worked out very well and so I ran away finally ending up back in Midland, my home town.
 I was working as a Soda Jerk, for those of you that might recall the term. I made fancy drinks and ice cream dishes at a local hamburger joint. It was the "olde fashioned kind" of place where you got out of your car, walked up to the window and placed your order. When things were ready we called your number over a loud speaker and you picked up your food.
I was suddenly struck with a dreadful feeling and I knew, deep inside, that I had to go to the hospital to see about "Nanny", my Grandmother. There was no phone call from a relative, just that strange feeling of imminent danger.
At that moment my girlfriend arrived in her car to get something to eat. She wasn't actually due until later in the day when I was supposed to get off work. I immediately asked her to take me to the hospital. She looked very puzzled at first, but quickly agreed and we headed straight for Midland Memorial Hospital.
All the way there I felt cold and clammy. Jerri Ann kept asking questions but I didn't respond to very many and she finally stopped talking altogether and picked up the pace.
When we finally got there I realized that we had somehow arrived at the back of the hospital. As the car stopped I jumped out and ran up the steps and into the back of the building, not knowing where anything was located.
I stopped at one of the nurses' stations and asked where to find Mrs. Ruth Lord. The nurse could see that I was upset and called the information desk for me and got the room number. I quickly made my way up a few flights to her floor and immediately came face to face with two of my great aunts; Nanny's sisters.
The look on their faces said it all. They turned to look at each other as if to say,"Are you going to be the one to tell him, or will I?"
I didn't wait for them to speak, I just blurted out, "Where's Nanny?". They looked at each other a second time but still didn't speak. It was as though they had  gone completely dumb.
I frantically began looking for her room number and started toward the door but was stopped by a tall, older nurse coming down the hallway.
Her face was like leather and I knew she had to be in charge. She had the look of authority, much like Nanny, only softer.
"Young man, you can't go in there right now. We have some things to do before you can see her, but you need to know that your Grandmother has just passed away."
I stopped perfectly still in my tracks, realizing that I was too late and momentarily thought that I would throw up. Thankfully I didn't.

I have written all of this to say ....
Last Friday morning my father in law passed away. Tom wasn't the friendliest person on earth, if you didn't know him, but I loved him and he will certainly be missed.
Dianna was by his side for months before his passing, working hour after hour to see that he was comfortable and had exactly what he needed and or wanted. I have never seen a more devoted daughter. There has to be a special place for people like her in heaven.
We'll travel to Joplin tomorrow and the funeral will be the following day and he'll finally be in his resting place beside his beloved wife of 50 plus years, Delora.
I don't know how many years I have left. I've lived a long time. I've seen a lot of my peers and friends and yes, many of my enemies pass on in that time. Death, as they say, is just a whisper away. I only hope I leave a good memory behind for others to turn to when they think about me..... if they do.

...not many, I'm sure

I have worn out. The long hours are taking atoll on Dianna, and Jerry and me. We have worked far too many hours and it shows.
I tried to get into my blog awhile ago and couldn't remember the password. It took me ten minutes of going through the steps in Google to retrieve it. What a hassle. That is tired with a capital T.
We have made progress though. The station was down almost three days but I  have it just about figured out and feel pretty confident about the programming now. I think I have well over 200 hours logged into it by now. The learning curve was quite steep for the first ten days but I had a couple of breakthroughs about six or seven days in and things settled in after that quite nicely. I made a major mistake the other day that shut the system down and we had to reload over 1200 songs and format them for the second time. That wasn't pleasant. It was "operator error" of course, so I have no one to blame but myself. I have to chalk it up to being a rookie. I'm sure we'll all look back on it one day and have a good laugh but I wasn't laughing yesterday or the day before.
I apologize for the long time between blogs. I should be more attentive and I will in the future. Time goes by so fast of late that I barely get into what I'm doing and it's dark again. For instance; I'm waiting for some files to upload into the Song Locker and the clock is ticking past 11 pm again...
I can't complain. It's what I asked the Lord to do and he has done it. Here I am doing what I love to do and loving every minute of it. How many people get to do that? .... not many, I'm sure

... if we stay focused on the Lord

It's finally come about.... "Trucker's Radio" is online.
We have worked so hard to get everything together and hear it for the first time. I am truly humbled by what God has done. He is so special. I can never thank him enough or be good enough to deserve this, but he has decided to grant us this tool and I'll not waste it by any means.
The market is wide open for us in this. There are just not that many stations that cater to truckers. We have a real opportunity here. We can  literally reach thousands if we do it right. This is the first of multiple stations we have in mind. We want to do a "Truckers Gospel Station next and a 50' & 60's station after that. The sky's the limit if we stay focused on the Lord.

... it's easy to see

I have been working on the radio station for about two weeks.
I can't recall ever having such a hard time getting something accomplished. The instructions are often vague and sometimes misleading and so I have become frustrated with the lack of progress thus far. I know that all things work together for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose, so I am trying to be a good servant and take it all like the "trooper" I'm supposed to be.
 I can hear a voice in the distance asking, "And how's that working out for you?" I have to answer, "Not well". I think I have become so spoiled that I need to  be 'tried' a little to get the edge back on the sword, so to speak. That is the case with me. I need to be taken out of my comfort zone every once in awhile or I stagnate. The brain cell get mushy and I yawn a lot.
The nice thing about all of this is that the process will come to an end at some point and I will be able to 'look back' on a learning experience and find the humor in it, I'm sure.
We have been approved for a house. It's a nice place with almost 5 acres; most of which has trees. We will be bringing Dad home from the Nursing Center soon in preparation for the move. He has been 'locked up' in that horrible place far too long. I will be glad to see him outside in his chair directing traffic from the deck. It should prove to be a wonderful place for the four of us.
The audio project is almost done and the book of poems is over halfway. With everything I have going on I wonder how I manage, but I do and that's what counts. The days are long but I am very pleased with what I am doing. I don't have to crawl under any trailers and that suits me just fine!
God is so good. I get to do what I love each day and that makes the dream come true job so enjoyable.
I certainly know how blessed I am right now; it's easy to see.

...even better perhaps

I'm looking at how beautiful the sun is this morning. God has painted a tremendous sunrise and warmed the landscape with his love and creativity.
I will leave for Texas in a few hours. We will be traveling to Mesquite to film my friend in his body building competition. After adding a few more locations shoots it will more or less complete the footage we need to build the documentary about his life. I think many people will be blessed by it once we finally complete the project. His story isn't unique, it's special. He has been through many of the things others have gone through; he has just done things a bit differently. Each of us is unique of course but often with very similar circumstances. My friend has taken many of the negatives and turned them around to work for the good. That is a learned trait; learned from the Father. God is always turning things around and pointing us in the right direction. Thank goodness for that, right?
I have a new computer! It is specifically for recording and for the radio project. We went through a couple of them before we finally reached our goal with this one. I bought one earlier from a friend that for lack of a better term, "ripped me off". I was disappointed because he has done so much for me in the past that has been helpful. I think he is getting worse now and really needs help. He is brilliant but sadly, he suffers from bipolar syndrome. That makes him unreliable when it comes to making deadlines and it has a tendency to make him very cynical and derisive. I pray that someone can reach him and show him how to get to Jesus. He is so crude, even though he is from a wealthy family.
I guess it doesn't matter whether or not you have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, if you are coarse and cruel, money has nothing to do with that.
I am enjoying the company of my new partner. He is giving and funny and caring. We did a little recording yesterday and had a ball with our radio character voices. I look forward to  many more sessions like that one; even better perhaps.

...I will surely need.

My day started off kind of early; for me anyway. I was going get up at 8 o'clock but the phone rang at 7:33. It always seems to ring just as I'm getting into a really good dream; you know the kind, where your win the lottery or you're able to fly.
It was nice going to breakfast that early in the morning for a change. Everyone around you seems to be busy and if you're a good eavesdropper like me, you find out what they're about to try to accomplish for the day. One is about to order something that you spray on cars, while another is going to weld something, and then there is always the busy executive type that want you to hear their conversation and so they try to speak over the rest of the people in the room so you can hear them.
Once we arrived at the church we dove right in. I set up the tracks while Richard tuned his guitar. By 1 PM, we had 13 songs in the can, and he was on his way back to Sapulpa. Not bad for a couple of old guys. I like it when I get a lot done in a short period of time; especially when there aren't very many mistakes to deal with.
I do however have my work cut out for me now. I'll do the guitars first, then the bass and whatever percussion I think is necessary. This will be pretty much a bare-bones project. I'll try to keep it as true to the acoustic sound that Richard has as possible. His unique style lends itself to simplicity. If I try to put too much on it, it will sound trashy.
I got a phone call from Jerry, while Dianna and I were at dinner. I like to take her to Napoli's every chance I get. He informed me that we have part of the funding for our radio stations. That was welcome news since we have been living on very little of late. I pray this is just the beginning of a great inflow of resources that we had been expecting. I have been asking the Lord what it is that he wants me to do, specifically and not generally. He never fails to answer our prayers, no matter how small or insignificant think they may be, he hears and responds.
I can see a small mountain work before me and I relish the challenge and look to the author and finisher of my faith for the help I will surely need.

… but why not

I found out today that I will be upgrading my recording software within the next couple of days.
It's been almost 15 years since we bought the computer that has the old recording software on it. And now that Microsoft has stopped supporting Windows XP, I know I'll be having some real issues unless I change the programming. It's a relief to know that it will be happening within the next few days because I know we have a lot of music to work on. The old system keeps crashing during recording sessions, and that makes it hard to concentrate and create.
There is a possibility that the radio station recording will begin pretty soon as well, and the new system will make it much easier to work. I look forward to writing new commercials and jingles and getting back into the radio atmosphere after so many years. I don't look forward to the selling but I do look forward to the production.
I feel a touch of spring fever this afternoon. Even after watching it snow this morning as I was driving westbound on I 40 still, I felt like taking off and going to the lake and doing nothing. With so much on our plate right now I don't really think I have time to do that, but it would be nice.
Our search for a new home has slowed significantly. I think the Lord is waiting to see if we will, he found faithful. He had me up in the middle of the night reading Philippians. I don't think I have ever read Philippians all the way through before. It's quite good; so many good verses.
I had been reading about the crucifixion in the Gospels. It's hard to get my head around just how dramatic the scenes were back then. The writing is so piercing and yet gentle. It draws you in and holds you. Even after countless readings and Bible studies and discussions, it's still fresh and real and alive.
I'm searching deeper now. My intention is to get to the crux of the matter and know the heart of the father like never before. I know it's more important now; the way things are has such a bearing on the future. I must be careful and picked the right words so that no one mistakes my motives or my actions.
I see so many people going in so many different directions in search of answers and finding none. The perception that so many people have regarding God and the Bible and Jesus is so off track and skewed. The answers are so simple if you just stop and read and think quietly without distraction. Television has ruined us. Everything comes at us in a flood of information, bombarding us like a spring downpour in our minds. I think it's a well used tactic. If we can be so easily distracted is no telling which direction we'll go. Satan can get the upper hand by presenting us with so many options in a short time, goading us into picking one as though we're stupid for being so slow to choose. That's how he gets us. He plays on our ego and wins more often than not.
All that time The Holy Spirit is standing by waiting like a gentleman, not wanting to intrude uninvited. How sad it is that we have free will. But God saw fit to make that one of our gifts. We could evolve and robots. What fun would that be? No creativity, no spontaneity, no laughter, no joy… no peace.
Forgive me I'm preaching again… but why not

...and playing and worshiping and playing….

I feel more like playing than I have in a while. I've been blessed with the choices of several guitars to play as well. That's always a plus.
I don't know exactly what it is but I think it has something to do with my walk with the Lord. He's been getting me up early, early in the mornings, taking me to the Gospels. I've been reading about the crucifixion, and all the circumstances around that momentous event. I wonder if we really know the whole story. I'm not doubting the Bible, mind you; it's just that there are so many opinions. I do agree that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and therefore infallible. It's man's take on the events that I question.
So many times our motives are colored by our objectives and circumstances and feelings. I can't tell you how many times I've been influenced by my anger or my sadness or yes, even my joy.
Somewhere, it is said that was unrecognizable after his beating. I've seen that before. I've seen people beat to a pulp. They were unrecognizable, but we all knew who they were.
I've experienced pain, many forms of pain, but I simply can't imagine what Jesus went through for us. And he did it, in spite of the fact so many of us still do not accept him, still do not believe.

It's time again for the Easter play at our church. The Music Director is picking out the music, writing, the play, seeing after all the costumes and doing her usual million jobs. I marvel at her endurance, knowing that its spirit driven mingled with love for one and all. I will get a break this year, having only to play and sing. What a blessing. I do like being in the play, but I won't miss it this year. I rather like the idea of just playing and worshiping and playing and worshiping and playing….