...twas the day before the night before Christmas

I arrived at the church to find a last minute flurry of activity going on.

The doors were opening and closing almost as fast as one or two people could get in or out at one time. I had thought that it would be quiet since we are supposed to be closed until next Monday.

That was certainly not the case.

I made my way down the hallway listening intently to the hurried conversations. It was as though 'the hour' had come and everything had to be accomplished within that hour or they would all be doomed to some fate worse than death scenario.

I marvel at the tenacity of some people. They don't give up no matter what. It's an admirable quality for most but there are those that run it into the ground with the incessant drone of their never ending asking. Can I have $10? Can I have $20? Can I have $5? I don't see how Pastor Bond keeps up with it all. His always kind manner is a miracle in and of itself. I believe that I have only seen him angry one time in the entire time I have been here. God knew what he was doing when he put this man in place. I don't think there is another person on the planet that can do what this one man does and not become homicidal. He always has something good to say and rarely turns anyone down when they make a request. I hope he isn't one of my followers on this blog. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable by praising him so openly but he deserves it and more. You would most certainly agree if you meet him.

At any rate, I did my best to stay' hooked', as it were, and get something accomplished here in the office while it is quiet, but just now I'm leaving on an errand for a friend that needs a ride and I probably won't get the chance to come back and begin again, but that's okay too.

Merry Christmas everyone. I love you

John

...and what time did you say it was?

The sun was partially blocked by a thin cloud cover of loose gray clouds that looked as though they had been washed in dirty dish water.

I got out of bed and stumbled along the hallway to the bathroom and brushed my teeth without looking in the mirror. It was quite an accomplishment really. I always seem to look like the Kips Big Boy restaurant mascot when I first get up. My hair stands straight up in the middle of my head from front to back like a silvery rooster comb. I'm just not in the mood for so much funny that early in the morning if you know what I mean.

Now I don't mind making fun of myself but I usually wait until I can enjoy it. I have to be awake for it and that takes at least a half an hour not counting the time it takes to down my first cup of coffee.

For some reason I didn't have a hard time getting up. I usually have to 'make myself' sit up. That's the first step. Then I have to slide off of the mattress until my feet 'touch down' and then I begin the 'Blindman Stroll' I have made famous. Not only do I not have good sight at those times, I don't have a sense of smell, or feel, or very good hearing. I could easily walk off a cliff without the slightest bit of trouble and not know it until I hit the ground. I may not know it then. Needless to say, I have a bit of an issue waking.

Now before you condemn me for my malady, you might take inventory of your little idiosyncrasies and get back with me later, eh? At any rate, I did make it downstairs and fully enjoyed the first cup and the conversation and everything else that happened before I left for work.

Some days are just meant for being better than others, wouldn't you agree?

....congratulations

I watched a friend get married today.

He had been in dire straits not too very long ago. His life was in a shambles because of Crack Cocaine and he had come to OKC Compassion to work out the issues that often plague a person with such a desperate set of circumstances. I marvel at his recovery. Some just languish away and never really get it together, but not this man. His resolve was strong and his work ethic second to none that I've seen. As a leader, he surpassed his peers by miles and seldom stopped to 'smell the roses', but kept trudging forward until the day came for him to leave and even then God opened that door wide.

I watched as he looked at his new bride and the look in return was one of great love and satisfaction at finding such a man to live the rest of her life with as one. It could easily have been a movie played out on the big screen but no, it was a milestone that only a handful got to see in person.

For years to come this day will be special to these two. They will look back on it and smile and wonder how they could have ever been so blessed to find each other, but some of us will know because it has happened to us as well. I was blessed, so greatly blessed that I still marvel at the things that had to happen to make it possible for us to even meet, much less marry.

God is so cool. He always knows. he always makes things work that no one else could have ever done, no matter how long they had to do it.

....TICK, TICK, TICK

I almost blew up.

Yes, it's true, I almost exploded on someone last night. They had been less than compliant with the rules and regulations and when I confronted the person they began accusing everyone else for their infractions. Generally speaking I take those opportunities to let the person 'hang themselves', but some some reason I just got mad; plain old down right 'hot'.

It may have had something to do with the term they used to describe the others conveniently brought into the conversation in an effort to deflect the subject of going to the strip clubs in the area on their time off from work. I detest the use of the word "Bum" when it comes to describing another person in the same circumstances. Some people are "bums", but not in this case. The ones that sit by the off ramps and wave signs all day long and take their ill gotten gains to the motel at night and live the good life off of other people's tender heart; those are the Bums with a capital "B". By the way, I recently heard that the average income for that type of panhandling is over $70,000 per year. Remember that the next time you pull up to a stop light and the guy or gal walking up to your car is wearing a $100 pair of tennis shoes to keep their feet from hurting because they stand on their feet all day collecting your money. Just for grins, arrive about sundown and follow them to where they are staying and really get an eye full.

One of my good friends did just that and watched as a man got into a BMW after changing his shoes and his jacket and then watched him drive away, dialing his cell phone.

The conversation ended as soon as the man finished venting about how hard he has it in the Program House since he has been here. I listened quietly and when he stopped talking I asked him if that was all and he said, "yes", waiting intently for my response.

"Okay, I'm ready to go", I said in a matter of fact manner, and walked to the door, opening it for him.

"That's all you have to say?", he asked with an odd look on his dirty face.

"That's all I have to say tonight", I said, "but I'll have a lot more to say when we meet again with Pastor Bond tomorrow."

The confrontation was over but the anger lingered all the way home. I did my best to 'talk around it' once I arrived, but I ended up sharing my displeasure with my beautiful wife and she listened, knowing that I needed to 'get it off my chest'. Aren't wives wonderful?

I only share this to give you insight into this crazy world of recovery and readjustment, where I find myself putting feet on my faith and reaching out with all that is within me.

...once had a friend

I wrote a song one time about a friend of mine.

He had given everyone the impression that he had written several songs which turned out to be my writing. I had helped him with them and told him to keep any rights or revenues to them, thinking that I was doing him a favor; something he could call his own. Right

He had brought me several ideas for songs he was working on but they were pretty rough and I thought it would be nice to help him get them to where they made sense and could be recorded.

To make a long story short, He brought in a band from out of town and we began recording the songs. Lo and behold I begin to hear some of my other songs along with these and guess who was supposed to have written those as well? Right.

Needless to say the project went south, for him at least, and it pretty much damaged our relationship to the point of 'no return'. I finished the project with the band. They never paid me all that they owed for the sessions and mix, but I made some pretty good friends in the end. The one friend... he drifted off and we never really mended any fences to speak of and he lost everything he had in a divorce a few months later.

I did get a good song out of it though.

Fast forward if you will a good dozen years or more and here comes a friend of this same 'friend'.

The old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished" still stands.

I went out on a limb with this other 'friend' and wouldn't you know it, he burns me too. I film for 4 days and get ready to edit but it ends up, there's no money to pay for the work.

"I talked with our board, Bro. John and we just don't have the money right now, Bro. John, and I uh, I think we'll just have to cancel the project."

I hate to say this sports fans, but I have been burned more by 'so called' Christians than by any of the people in the world system. They seem to just about always keep their word. Why is that?

What has it come down to here? Are we that 'dull of hearing'? Are we just that ignorant of what God's Word says about taking care of our obligations; especially to those of 'the brethren'?

Ole Papa Corleone always said, "keep your enemies close but keep your friends closer."

Go to the music page on the website and look up "Had a Friend".

...yummy

I awoke to the sounds of Sam coming in the back door of the main house.

His cheerful greeting to the house in general more or less set the tone for the day as I sat up and tried to decide whether or not to put on my house shoes before making my way to the bathroom. Our floor has rugs in some places but not in others. A cold floor is not my friend.

I tried to call Di and got her message. She had left earlier to be with our daughter. They were to spend some time together at Denny's. I won't elaborate on my thoughts on that subject. It would be negative and I'm just not going there today.

I wondered where everyone was as I walked across the open field to the back door of the church. The brisk wind was pushing me along as if it were in a hurry to get me to my destination. I hadn't been out in the cold to this extent thus far this year and I immediately thought of the ones that are sleeping out in this on a regular basis.

My friend Steve was entering the church as I arrived. He looked his usual rumpled self and was carrying a big bag of dirty clothing over his shoulder as he held the door for me.

"Good morning my brother", I said as I passed. "Doing some 'maintenance'?" I was referring to the bag of clothes but he answered as 'the janitor', "No I'm off today. I plan on getting some laundry done while no one else is around."

Isn't it funny how we misinterpret what others say? I meant one thing and Steve heard another.

I opened the office door and immediately got to work on finishing up the project from the night before. I suppose I may have spent an hour on it and I had what I wanted ready for the morrow and so I slipped one of my CDs into the computer tray and waited.

In just a moment the first song came up. I thought of the hundreds of songs that Di and I have written and wondered where most of them are. I haven't done a very good job of keeping track of them for the most part. I work on them extensively when they are new but as time goes by and another takes it's place, I lose track of what I did with it unless I am using it in my playlist. his particular CD is probably about ten years old or more.

I think that it would be good to reproduce it. I have a much better sense of what I want them to sound like now and I am definitely a better engineer than when I did them then. I guess, like most things, songs get better with time. The aging, maturing, settling takes place and I get comfortable with the timing and the phrasing and the feel.

Look at me, I've rambled on here for almost 20 minutes now and haven't even noticed the passing of the time. I love it when the flow takes over and the words just "come".

My whole purpose in writing anything on this Thanksgiving Day was to tell all of you how much I love you and how much you mean to me and how often I think of where you are and what you might be doing at just that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving my beautiful ones. Please pray for us as we keep the candle lit here in the inner city.

John

...and the there was....

The day played out like a long string unwinding across the yard on a windy day.

I got up just in time to make the devotional in the Prayer Room. I had missed being there for a few days and really looked forward to seeing everyone and being involved in the fellowship in the Word.

Pastor Bond was delayed and that took a little time out of the meeting at first but everyone got involved in the discussion and brought out many good points until we eventually ran out of time, as usual and finally prayed for the rest of the day; going our separate ways.

I answered the phone over and over again and stayed with it until well after everyone else went home. I like it when its quiet and no one is yelling at someone or something or asking for something you can't get right away, but that another story.

I did get to spend a very pleasant dinner with my best friend. We sat across from each other and smiled that knowing smile, enjoying the knowing without having to say anything. I have loved her for almost 30 years and yet it seems like only a few weeks have passed since I opened that door and she was standing there.

I looked at my watch and realized that I was missing the news. Had it really been that long since I had pulled back the covers and put my feet on the floor, hoping that there was coffee ready? Yes, and to make matters worse I hadn't finished what I had originally set out to do for the day.

I don't ordinarily like distractions but somehow, today had been filled with them and I had been alright with it.

Looking around again I thought,"What have I done today?"

...draggin'

The hours are long; sometimes too long.

I didn't even want to get up today. Have you ever in your life wanted to just stay in bed and let the covers hold you like your mother did when you were first born and cute and ..., well you might not have been cute exactly. Not all babies are cute.

Anyway, I just wanted to roll over onto a nice cool spot on the sheets and drift right back off into 'slumberland' and forget all about how many things I have lined up to do today. Drat!

Of course there's always the phone; your other ego lying there close by just itching to ring. It does.

"Hello... yeah, I was just leaving. How far away did you say you are? Okay, I can be there in about half an hour or so. Can you bring me a, uh, Starbucks when you come? Okay, thanks.... yeah, bye."

Like I said, the hours are just too long.

....what time did you say it is?

The curtains shield the light from coming in our bedroom.

I like to imagine that it is still the middle of the night and I have a lot of sleep hours left to enjoy but alas, the alarm 'enlightens' me as to the actual time and I am swept back to reality. I do my best to ignore what will inevitably be the outcome but I know in the end, I will have to get up.

The cool rain of mid November doesn't help one bit. What better eason for sleeping in?

...as the clouds rolled in.

I watched as the dark clouds framed the horizon like thick drapes on a tinted window.

We had been expecting the rain to arrive a bit earlier, hoping that it would move out and dry up a little before the outdoor concert tomorrow. I wonder now if the rain will indeed move on before we set up.

How often have we planned and planned and then things just don't happen the way we expect? Too many times I suppose but that's human nature isn't it? And why do we always seem to look at things differently than the way God does? I know, "His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts", but that is to be expected since we somehow always seem put more on our plates than we can accomplish and then wonder why things didn't work out the way we thought they would when we were planning them. Go figure.

I'm more and more of the opinion that our egos get tangled up with 'personalities', contrived or not and we think we're more powerful than we really are. God help me. I am beginning to recognize the simple fact that there are just too many things to keep up with in this life nowadays. The simpler the better for me. Now I have to learn how to 'cut back'. Not just on cost factors but on 'work factors' too.

Where is my God time? I'm doing a lot of work but am I doing what He has in mind?

...are we there yet?

I used to ask that very question when I was a youngster.

I was short for my age so I didn't have a very good vantage point to begin with, but even so I often wondered just how far we had gone on our long distance travels. We weren't allowed to sit on our knees so we could see out of the window. We had to sit like "little gentlemen and little ladies" everywhere we went. That meant that all we could really observe were the tops of the trees gliding past our backseat window or the long lines of telephone poles and the wispy West Texas clouds that seemed miles and miles away, high up in the powder blue sky.

"If you ask me that question one more time I'm going to stop this car and paddle your butt!"

How many times have you heard that said on a long trip? We used to see how any times we could get away with it before it was about to happen. I think we had it down to a science and used it as a tool to get back at the stingy people in the front seat that got to see everything first hand and rarely shared the good parts until it was too late.

"Did you see that, Honey?"

"Why gracious me, I don't believe I've ever seen anything like that; have you, Dear?"

Why no Love, I don't believe I have."

"Kids, did you see that?"

"Are we there yet?"

...in the cool, cool, cool of the evening.

I unlocked the Suburban and got in.

My friend got in and we started on our way to his place. I was taking him home after a few hours at my office, working on a plan to get video in the sanctuary for an upcoming meeting.

Just a s we pulled to the end of the parking lot we saw my neighbors standing at the curb. They don't normally do that, especially at 9:30m at a night, so I rolled down the window and was informed of an altercation going on in front of the church.

Sure enough, as i pulled up in the parking lot of the front side of the church, there was two of our residents of the Program Housing engrossed in a heated argument.

For whatever reason this seems to be a weekly event between these two and there is basically no getting through to either of them when they are entwined in a battle of the wills.

How is it that every one around them can see that they are being so immature and they can't see it? How is it that they continue to get into these tests of the two wills on a regular basis and can't learn anymore about each other that would help to stave off these engagements?

I know they both have to be hurting, but there is seemingly nothing I can do or anyone else for that matter.

Oh how we cheat ourselves out of peace and harmony by being selfish....

Sometimes I just want to take them by the arms and shake them until they listen and then I'm reminded of how I was so like them almost to a fault. I too was hard of hearing and course and much more.

Help them Lord, please.

...long time no see

I have been a bit under the weather for awhile now.

It seems to hit me at the most inopportune times too. I got a sore throat and then my whole world went nuts. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop coughing and blowing my nose and I couldn't sleep. It has been horrible. I would sleep awhile and then couldn't, I would want to get up and was too weak to stay up more than a few minutes. What a Wimp!

The good news is that I am recovering at last. My nose is still stopping up but I can rest a lot more than I was able to a day ago and that's progress in any man's book.

Speaking of books; I haven't written anything of note in months now and that's disturbing. For a writer, the pages need to fill up or something is definitely missing. Ideas are slow to come as well and when they do they don't seem to have the importance or 'spark' that I would like for them to have to make them worthy objects of my time. I suppose I need an inspiration to bring me around again.

I do have things to write about but most of them seem to be negative at this juncture and I'd rather have good thoughts in my head just now than bad.

With the family crisis looming and no jobs coming in, I just have to sit and wait on my Lord to settle the matters. I am determined not to get out ahead of him again. That certainly always leads to disaster.

The mountains were calling earlier today as I came out of our little apartment and saw the gray and purple clouds sitting about the landscape like so many lazy people all in a bunch. They weren't moving, just sitting there watching me cross the short expanse of lawn to the back of the church. I could all but see the Spanish Peaks looming before me in the distance, calling out for me to come closer, but I couldn't.

Later on in the day my friend from Walsenburg called to see how we are doing. How timely.

One thing of note to report; I got a call from a friend I hadn't heard from in months. He called just as I was turning over in bed, trying to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep.

"Hello, John... is that you?"

"Why yes, I'm here. Who is this?"

"It's Timothy Thomas. The Lord told me I needed to pray for you so I'm calling. Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not. Pray for me my friend, please."

The prayer lasted all of ten seconds and he hung up. He had been faithful to listen to God telling him what to do and I was the better for it.

Isn't that what we are supposed to do for one another? I do believe it is.

...tis so sweet...

I got to sleep in this morning.

I have never been an early riser like some. I used to tell people, ' I get up at the crack of noon', ... and start my day. Some might take that the wrong way but they don't know me, so I have to be considerate and explain a little further. At times I may not end my work day until 2 or 3 Am in the morning so I tell everyone that I am on the 'swing shift in life' and that seems to help a little.

But where does all the time go? Just when I think I have everything done with time to spare, suddenly there are two more things that have to be done before the project at hand is complete.

My wife and I were invited to dinner. The couple planned a quiet time together at their new home just outside of town on six acres of the most beautiful surroundings one could ask for including a scenic pond fully stocked with bass and catfish. We had steak and squash and potatoes and I stuffed myself. How great it is to have friends and time to enjoy the fellowship and the peace and quiet after such a long week.

All I have seen this past week is need and despair. People have come from every direction of the compass with any and every need you can imagine, from electric bill cut off notices to tennis shoes. The onslaught is never ending and there are not enough hours in the day to address all the needs that arise. I remembered the days in years past when Dianna and I were in the midst of this ministry in another location. It is even more intense than ever and growing worse if I have any gauging abilities at all. I have to go the the Bible at this point and recall the verses that tell us of the end times. Surely it is upon us.

...getting back into the swing of things

After a big project there always seems to be that let down; the 'jet lag' of the aftermath.

I got up with a lot more aches and pains than I went to bed with, knowing that it was going to happen. There just seems to be a pattern. If you stand on your feet for 12 hours in dress shoes on a concrete floor and answer questions all day that the average person already knows the answers to, you are going to be in pain the next day. Your brain relays the mental anguish to your feet and they throb out a message to the rest of your body in some sort of circulatory system Morse code.

I have a done a 20 year study on this so I have the facts to back up my theory. There's just no getting around it, the body has a mind of it's own.

all kidding aside, I think the truck that hit me is in Canada by now judging by the skid marks.

... I think I'll put my feet up and relax awhile.

The cool evening air felt good on my face as I left the apartment and got into my car.

I had just showered and put on some old clothes that felt good after having been in my dress slacks and dress shoes all day.

We spent the day at a local college helping out on a unique project called Queen for a Day.

A local nonprofit has done this for six years now, inviting single Moms for a special 'day out' with many treats and prizes and pampering.

I was hired to do all of the Audio Video production and work at the event as the Floor Director. In the end there were about 325 women as guests of the organization and they all seemed to have a great time of it. I was exhausted but quite satisfied with how it all turned out and I learned a great deal about such an event that I can carry into future projects and make them much better and easier for the soundman.

Isn't it funny how one thing turns into another and yet another and another and eventually, in the doing, teaches you how to do it better the next time? I have always been a 'hands on' person anyway. This just serves to be another one of those experiences that show me how 'not' to do something in the future. The old 'hindsight' adage is still very much a true statement, isn't it?

...I forgot that I prayed for patience

There must be some things that are 'time release' when it comes to the Holy Spirit.

I recall asking for more patience at one time or another and then I learned that my prayer was not such a good idea. Everything that irritated me hit me at the same time for about a week until things calmed down to a relative madness and then finally went back to normal.

I don't pray for patience.

However, these past few days have been a lot like the aftermath of that original prayer. Dianna got robbed, my Pastor got irritated with me, someone else announced their 'presence' in a way that totally surprised me, and there were a few other things that don't bear repeating that made the whole end of the week a minor disaster. What is it about trouble anyway? It always seems to come in packs like wolves, surrounding us and moving in for the 'kill'.

It's a good thing that we have God on our side. I hate to think of the outcome otherwise.

...in the twinkling of an eye

My wife was the victim of a robbery today.

She had gone shopping for me. I had asked her to look for some slacks at the thrift store we like that carries a good supply of clothing in our sizes. She was on her way to get an overdue oil change anyway, so I thought it would be alright to ask for the small favor while she was out and about on a Saturday afternoon.

As she was looking at some of the items in the store a lady came up to her and asked if it would be alright if she reached across her shopping cart to get to a coffee cup on a shelf on the other side of the cart. My wife accommodated her and didn't think anything else about it until she was checking out and reached into her purse to get her wallet. It was gone. She realized that it had been a ruse all along and the lady had used the excuse of reaching for the coffee cup to get into her purse and steal the wallet.

When I called, she was on the verge of tears. I felt so helpless. I was all the way across town and about to leave for a banquet. I had telephoned to tell her that I was leaving for the scheduled event and to see if she had been successful in her search for slacks. The voice on the other end of the line sounded a lot like a small child that was lost at the circus and didn't know which way to turn or who to talk to.

Do you know how hard it is to notify Credit Card companies on a Saturday afternoon? How about Banks?

It is astounding to think of just how many people are victimized on a given day as they leisurely go about their day...totally unsuspecting and vulnerable to the snakes that lurk right under our noses ... so closely, so seemingly calm and harmless, but in fact, they are wolves in sheep's clothing planning every evil under the sun.

Needless to say, there have been better Saturdays around here.

...the hours keep running past

It seems as though I don't have enough time to get things done.

I look at my schedule of late, and wonder how I ever got so many things going all at once. Do you ever look at your timetable that way?

My friends are busy too. They call and cancel appointments just so they will have time to make other appointments. What is more important? I can't quite figure it out, so I think I'll set another appointment to check on what time would be best to schedule a meeting to go over the calendar I set up to keep up with all of my appointments. Yep, that's what I'll do alright. You know, there just nothing like being well organized.

...and then came sorrow

I had been so happy; content with the fact that one of my children was coming out of a lifestyle that I had endured for twenty-five years before the Lord saw fit to deliver me.

Many times I had fallen back into the pit and had to crawl back out more filthy than the time before; taking longer and longer each time to get cleaned up.

Finally, one day the tide turned and I was free. God had been patient and waiting for the light to come on and I found my way out of the darkness and into the light. It was a combination of God's mercy and an answered prayer. I had prayed for 'someone to love me for who I am; not for what I can do for them or any other reason but that they love me'. I added a fleece to the end of the prayer and asked for a son.

Little did I know that within two weeks of that prayer I would meet Dianna and her three year old son, Michael. Her eyes were the color of a high mountain lake and I stood there mesmerized looking into the beauty of them wondering where she had been all my life. Some twenty-seven years later we are still looking into each other's eyes the same way.

But today I returned to sorrow for a time. I learned that our daughter has fallen back into the pit. We got word from her brother that she didn't even recognize him when he arrived at her apartment today.

I was on my way to church when the phone rang; Dianna's phone. I almost didn't answer it but I thought that it might be important and so I hurried over to her desk and pushed the button to open the line and said "Hello". Our Daughter-in-law was crying and it took me a minute to understand what she was trying to tell me.

I went downstairs after I hung up, trying to decide whether or not to tell my wife before or after service. I chose 'before'. I could see her countenance change as I relayed the information about our daughter. It pained me to have to tell her, but I wasn't keeping it from her any longer than I had to. Bad news is best delivered fresh. It 'burns worse' the longer it waits.

We passed along the report to our Pastor and some of the congregation as we arrived and the atmosphere of the evening went from light to heavy.

But thank God for friends. Before the service was over we had renewed strength and a real sense of purpose about it all. Prayers went up and our faith regained it's edge.

I find it intriguing how close God stands to his children in time of need. We could have lost hope and wallowed in pity, but the words that were spoken turned our hearts toward the Master and the hope returned in an instant.

I don't know what will happen next. I only know that when we needed help, when we needed to be reminded that we are not in this alone and without resources, there was God.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you..."

We are the ones that leave him, and for what? How can we be so dumb?

I look at what is going on in our daughter's life right now and see myself those many years ago.

I had it all right in front of me and I still walked away from God's protection and right back into the pit.

I was rescued but many of my friends were not. What made the difference? Why was I spared while they perished?

Which way will it go for her?

...just us chickens

I can't believe that I'm up so early, again.

It seems as though I am getting up in the middle of the night more often than I have ever done before. My eyes open and sit up on the side of the bed and the next thing I know I'm sitting in my chair writing a blog. Or I'm reading or I'm working on a website. This is different. I used to roll over and go right back to sleep but for some odd reason I have to get up and do something for at least an hour or more. They say that your tastes change every seven years. I wonder if your sleeping habits do as well? It wouldn't surprise me a bit if that was true and by the way, who is 'they'?

'They' said this and 'they' said that. Where did we get such a statement?

I am , however, making some progress at this hour. There are certainly no distractions to speak of. Unless someone else is up at this unusual hour.

How do you deal with the interruptions of your sleep? There is probably a study of some kind about this very subject. And they're probably getting good money to do it. Stimulus money to study the stimulus of sleep, or the lack there of.

...tick, tick, tick.

Here I sit at 2:53 Am. I had a wonderful day and a great evening with my wife and then off to bed.

But not too long after I should have gotten to that place where one begins that deep restful slumber, I am prompted to put down some new ideas that are rattling around inside my mind like clothes in a laundromat dryer. Go figure. How do you turn off the "tap" when it's 3 o'clock in the mornin' and you can't sleep? I don't think I really want to, truth be told. If the ideas weren't coming I'd be restless and wondering why I was going through a dry spell. Go figure.

When you actually stop to think about it, there is really not much time left. The Word says that we will see 'signs' at the end of the world as we know it, that will tell us of 'the end' and how to recognize it's arrival. Maybe that's why I do this so often; sit up and write or design or sing... or pray.

What do you do in the middle of the night when you can't sleep?

...one foot in front of the other.

The sky looks as sleepy as I feel.

Somehow I have gotten into the pattern of getting up earlier than I am used to. The usual rolling over and going back to sleep after a long day isn't an option this Saturday morning. I have three appointments to make and then we're due for rehearsal at the church sometime after that.

Yawn...stretch...yawn again. Okay, what's the address again?

To top off all of the hustle and bustle, my phone is off. Yeah, can you believe it? We have kept a phone going all this time with practically no money and just when we are getting a chance to step out of the 'hole' we found ourselves in a few months back the bill comes due before the finances are in place to cover it. Now I wouldn't ordinarily admit to such a calamity but I think that the situation bears scrutiny because I know it will be taken care of by the head bookkeeper, Jesus, my Lord. I read somewhere in the Word that if I take care of God's business first that he will take care of me, so I know that I'm in line for a blessing. And what better blessing than to be able to communicate better through the use of a modern convenience that reaches out to anyone and everyone all across the country at will? Yep, I expect my phone to be back in service very soon.

My friend is launching his new book this week. It's called "Choices" by James Willcox. The plot is a wonderful story of how a person can really show his or her love toward another human being in the most trying of circumstances. At first I wondered about it, putting myself in the main character's place. What would I have done? Don't miss this chance to get some terrific insight into my friend's perspective on love.

...setting the stage

I awakened to the sounds of busy people on the floor below.

I could hear their voices and the happiness in them. It is so pleasant to hear happiness these days. Far too many of us carry the extra baggage of discontent around like the extra pounds we also need to shed. I for one am not going to be unhappy. It takes more effort to be unhappy, you know. Just as it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Our vantage point on the issues of life are too often from a negative perspective. We tend to 'look down' on things as opposed to looking up.

Try this. Every day when you get up, say,"Good morning Master, I am ready for the day you have planned for me. How can I be of service?" After awhile you will be looking forward to what God has in store for you because you will have seen the actions he put into play that changed over the course of your asking for an 'assignment' instead of just accepting whatever comes along like most people do. Remember, God said to ask him for things. Why not ask for good things. It works out that as I have done this on a consistent basis the days have 'smoothed out' and I tend to get more accomplished in a shorter period of time and my attitude is one of genuine happiness and joy over the fact that I'm actually doing something important for my Master.

...the run for the finish

I shut the front door and locked it. Hearing the sound of the metal tongue fall into the slot was a welcome noise. It signaled the end of another long day. I agreed to a last minute filming at a church service that had been planned for a month, but I had forgotten about it. They asked me to do a video for advertising purposes and I realized that it would be an opportunity to hear the person preach after several years. We had heard her before but not for some time. I was please that she ministered in truth and in plain terms. Too many play around with the Word and try to make it say what they want it to say so they can get something out of it. Not so here. It gave me a better sense of how to help in the future. The earlier part of the day was spent in an early morning prayer meeting at the Man Up location. The staff of the mission pray each morning and air their opinions, interests and woes openly and without reservation. I find the meetings refreshing. Some prayer meetings turn into way too much 'asking' and not enough listening. These guys get right to the heart of the matter and address each others needs in frankness. Even when they use the wrong word to describe the issue it strikes home and speaks to the reality of life 'out in the open'; the way they live every day.

I am primed for tomorrow. we are set to install new main speakers in the sanctuary and a new video screen and projector. This will usher in a whole new era for this little church. The Pastor's son and daughter in law will be running the new video, adding words to the songs on the screen so everyone can sing along easily.

Adding the new mains frees up some much needed monitors for the Praise Team, so that is an exciting element I'm anxious to 'tinker with'.

It's all a concerted effort to make a "run for the finish".

...."how sweet it is"

The sounds of the interstate kept me company in the way home.

I sat, almost dozing, watching the traffic around me busily jockeying in and out of position on their way home; almost everyone in a hurry to get 'there'.

Today was my first official day as the Program Director `for the new plan we intend to put into place to help homeless men.

The Pastor at the church is a very fine man. I don't use that term very often, so you can understand my use of it here. I will learn a great deal from him in the coming weeks, I'm sure.

The others are all very nice and interestingly enough, very dedicated. I find that a marvelous trait, especially these days when so many are only out for what they can get for 'you know who'.

And so, in the end, at the end of a long, but fruitful day, I can sit back in my chair and sigh,"...how sweet it is".

are you busy yet?

I wonder just how it is that we schedule so many things into our lives and then complain about it?

I was thinking of how many meetings I am involved in all of a sudden. First, one here, then on to the next one and reschedule yet another so you can be at still another meeting and not miss any of them. I have definitely been pampered these past months not having anything pressing in or encroaching on my "me " time. I will "just have to adjust" as my beautiful wife has reminded me just now. Yes, I suppose I will. I've come to the conclusion that I've been the center of my world here in 'the upper room' for too long.

On a brighter note, I will get to interact with new people again; something I relish but seldom do with my work load here in the studio. I am going to change that and make a concerted effort to reenter the 'flow' that runs it's course each day throughout the city. The problem will be the commute from small town to big city. I am so used to just getting out of bed and stepping into the next room and I'm 'at work'. How convenient is that? Now you are getting the picture of just how spoiled I've become. I know I shouldn't be telling on myself this way but I think it's good for my ego to humiliate itself in this fashion even if it is just slightly, and see how I take it.

I think little 'ouches' are much better than big 'owies', don't you?

...the easy stuff

It's the shank of the day and I feel a simple satisfaction for having completed so many things without having a car wreck of an issue to deal with.

Isn't it nice not to have a problem for a change? Oftentimes, the day is broken up by the little disasters that plague our existence, putting a damper on the fun.

I am sincerely looking forward to the work on the Operation Man Up Program. It's in it's infancy just now, but I expect the pace to pick up a great deal in the next few days, having set meetings all through the week.

It will take some time, but what good thing doesn't? I relish the idea of the interaction with the men. It's been several years since Dianna and I were working full time with the street people. What a time. I look back on some of the experiences and marvel that we got to be a part of it. I am interested to see what will transpire in this next phase. I'm not going into it as such a novice this time and that's a good thing. I can avoid some of the inevitable pitfalls that beset the unwary.

It will also be interesting to see how things have changed on the street in ten years. Even though we haven't been 'full time' so to speak, we have kept track of certain aspects of the business of helping people. there are so many ministries today that it's hard not to know someone involved in this great work. I only hope I can be as effective as some of the ones we see in operation at present.

Let me know what you think about the homeless culture of today. It's always good to get a different point of view. that's how we learn to make the right changes and thus make a difference instead of creating more problems as some do .

...merrily we roll along

The heat really got to me today. I was in and out of the different places I had to visit in short spurts and of course the 'Burb' was like an oven each time I opened the door to get in from being locked. It took at least ten minutes to cool down each time and by then I had arrived at the next destination and locked it up again. Thank goodness I heard the weatherman announce a change on the horizon by the weekend.

The Man Up Program is getting some rapid changes as I pass it by certain individuals on the way to finalizing it, but I am concerned that I'm not getting in enough of the 'meat' here in the beginning for people to catch the spirit of how important the program is for all involved. There again, I know that not everyone is going to have the kind of passion I do for the idea, but I do expect a lot of support from a large contingent.

I finished a new song today before I left on errands.

"Baptize Me John" was born from an idea that my pastor gave me when he described what it must have been like for John to actually hold Jesus in his arms as he baptized him. Can you imagine the scene?I do, over and over in my mind, especially after writing the lyrics. I really hope for a good response to this one. It came quickly and that in and of itself is telling. The good ones for me don't take much time at all. I've written some songs in a matter of a few minutes and ended up changing only a few lines; if any. That's when I know it has a chance to be really good because it doesn't take any time to put together. "Somebody Find Me" was the same way. Matthew and I wrote it in about twenty minutes at Panera Bread in Tulsa and went back to his condo and recorded it in about an hour. I have changed a few things but for the most part it's just like it was the first hour we sat there in that Panera Bread and talked about the plight of young people on the streets all over the world.

I'm excited about the new program. I only hope I can convey the importance to the ones that will support it so that it gets a good start. I think it will carry on once people see the value of helping these men.

Operation Man Up

... drum roll please....

I have officially begun the new Mentor program for homeless men!

We have named it Operation Man Up. We even have a Logo designed and the beginning of the website. I am very excited to see what kind of reaction we'll get from what is down on paper thus far. The stages are simple and direct but getting to the 'front door' of the program is a horse of a different color in that I don't know what lies out in front of us in the way of opposition and or obstacle. I know that several of the people around us have been anxious to start a program like this for a number of years, but will they be willing to accept what we are proposing to do in the fashion we would like to do it? That's the concern. I want to reach the men with a simple 'in your face' approach and yet make evey attempt to do things in love. Does that compute? I certainly hope so. The name itself is a key to the concept. Challenging them is an attention getter, but will it fly7 in the face of reality? These men get so much confrontation on a daily basis it isn't funny. I recall seeing the tremendous stress on their faces when seemingly simple issues were presented. It will take some getting used to again, but I'm up for the challenge as well.

If you have any feedback, please send it along. I'm open to any positive input on what and how, but a real help would be someone's previous attempt at doing just such a program. I have not as yet found any historical references online even though I know there has to be something like this in operation somewhere else in the country. This isn't rocket science. Someone else has had to incorporated something before now; surely.

At any rate, I am pumped about what might be possible on this front. There are way too many 'victims' out there that could certainly use the help.

I've been on the shelf for awhile and the thought of being in the field is both invigorating and intimidating at the same time. What used to be a day to day norm will be an effort on my part to 'settle in' on some kind of routine. Once the funding is in place I'll be able to relax a bit, but there are some real hurdles to jump in the immediate future that will take some doing. The Lord will have to be in this or we will be laboring in vain as the Word so aptly says.

If you get a minute, lift us up in prayer, would ya?

...sad but sure.

I just read an email from a close friend that got news today of a heart valve that needs replacing. It seems that the valve is allowing blood to flow back into the chamber it has just left causing a real issue.

One never really knows what will happen in this life. Our lives are just a vapor that so quickly passes. I marvel at the ones that think they will live forever and snub the advice they're given about slowing down and appreciating what they have in the way of blessings.

This particular friend is very gifted and has worked extremely hard to better himself in order to serve the Lord better. I just don't know what to think about it yet; it is still so new to my ears. How do you talk to a friend when it comes to things like this? I know the 'standard issue', but this is quite different; for me at least. I had talked to him yesterday about a business matter and all was well. He expressed a concern that the VA had called and asked him to come in for a check up. I told him not to worry and to let me know what it was all about. When I read the email it struck me that I hadn't prayed about it after I got off of the phone with him last night as I should have. Hindsight....we always see so clearly in hindsight.

...in the ravaging heat

I refuse to go outside. The frying heat is shrinking the pavement on the street below as I look out the window from behind the curtain in the studio. Each day is registered by the size of the ever expanding cracks left behind by the searing temperatures and it's only the third day in August. What promises to be a record summer has arrived in full force.

How do you stay cool? Do you have some secret that you might share with the rest of us that would make our suffering easier, pray tell? Come on now, you can be honest; we'll put any and all tips to good use and be ever grateful for your timely offerings, believe me.

Di ventured out to get a few items from the store. I thought to tell her to stay put and wait for a fairer day, but after seeing the weather report, it might be September before she could go. It seems that we're in for a least a week of triple digits before there is even a possibility of a break. Drat!

Wouldn't you know it, I got an email from a friend in Colorado where the temp is in the mid seventies with a cool rain falling. He said he might have to wait a day or two to go back into the fields to cut hay, but didn't mind waiting. I wouldn't mind 'waiting' for the rain to end nestled down in a cool valley just below the Spanish Peaks, would you?

I know that there are some people that relish the heat. I see them trotting along the road with their headbands and Walkmans and I marvel and their tenacity. I prefer the studio surroundings.

How do you spend your time in the heat?

...when it all comes into focus.

I stopped work at almost 1AM.
I am suddenly tired, but it's a good tired. Di and I worked on a new logo today for an organizatin that helps single parent families. I love it when we do things like this for people like this.
At first I couldn't get anything that I liked until I broke down the original idea into a much smaller, simpler version . It was just too busy. Earlier, I visited with one of the people from the group of "deciders" and got a sense of what she was talking about right away. We had a great conversation and as I hung up I got a slight spark of an idea and went right to work. After a few hours the idea took shape and I made four versions of the design and posted them in an email to the four people that are deciding on the quality of our efforts.

I hope this strikes as strong a chord with them as it did with me. It just felt right, ya know?
Its like that with songs too. I get a hint of a melody and run for my guitar in anticipation. More often than not the melody expands and in a little while a new one is birthed! It's magical and wonderful and invigorating and more. Those are the good times for me. I would rather write than eat; be it music, a book, a short story, a commercial. It just doesn't matter. It's the idea of bringing something from inside my head and having it displayed on the page and make sense. The best are normally the first, fastest written and loosely worded ones. They take a bit of refinement, sure, but in the end it's that thought that just pops out that hits home the hardest and truest.
How do you write? How do you create the work that roams around in your head? I'd really love to know.
John

testing 101

How often do we look at the events we are experiencing as a test? In the heat of the moment I find myself all but 'shutting down' mentally, focusing more on the duel than the 'destination'.

After the fact, I then look back and see what I have come through, reflecting on the circumstances and reasons for what has occurred. Sometimes it's almost like looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the carnage of a car wreck on the road behind me as I drive away.

Am I running from life? I don't think so, but I am aware of the dangerous times we are moving into at a much faster pace than I have ever known. The news bears record of my concerns. Crime has increased incrementally each year for the past five years and the trend is growing in numbers at an alarming rate. I've noticed the heightened anger levels people exhibit in public and that pushes me toward avoiding gatherings a lot more than it ever has. I used to relish going out, but I would rather stay put these days.

After reading over this I wonder what others are thinking and how they deal with the pressures of this modern world.

"...in the early mornin' rain..."

I heard a faint roll of thunder as I was leaving the sanctuary. We have been hoping for a cooling rain for days now and the sound of the raindrops on the metal roof was almost as cooling as the rain itself. Isn't it funny how sounds can give you the sensation of one thing or another?

My brain is tired. I have been reading a lot more than I usually do but that's a good thing. I intend to improve a great deal in the coming weeks in more than one area and I know that it will take some careful study to do so. The learning curve is a rather long one but I am in hopes of seeing a good deal of progress with two things in particular that will mean a vast improvement in our lives in general. I hesitate to explain further because I want to surprise everyone with the good tidings when I reach my first goal. Does that perk your interest a little? I truly hope so.

My sweet wife has been attacked with a horrible rash for the past few days. Her poor little face is swollen and I know she must feel terribly self conscious as she goes about her daily routine. I got into some poison ivy one time and I thought I was going to die. Just now, I can't do a thing about it and it's making me feel awful. She has tried several remedies but thus far it's a losing battle. She is sleeping at the moment and I am hoping that the last effort she made with yet another product recommended will indeed bring some relief. Bless her heart, I know she feels at a loss after two solid days of excruciating itch and torment.

Her comment to me earlier was classic Dianna. She said something to the effect that we were probably in line for a huge blessing because we have been attacked so much. Isn't that the way of it though? The more the enemy comes against you, the more you fight back and the more you overcome and that in time brings great victories.

I certainly pray that to be true in our daughter's life. Her trials, although self inflicted, are weighing heavy on my mind. We can only stay out of the way at this point and let God come through... as he always does. In the meantime, it's so hard not to try this or that to remedy the situation. I know better though, because I've been there before and the worst possible thing to do when trouble like this comes is try and resolve it with your own thinking, your own powers, your own bravado. How little we know. Trust is the best remedy, without a doubt.

"Trust & obey.... there is no other way..."

...and are you a writer?

The question comes and you find a way to answer. Was I too short or did I go on and on too much about what I have inside that wants so desperately to get out? Did that sound egotistical?

Have you ever wanted to crawl into a closet and hide?

I feel like that sometimes when a stranger asks me what I'm writing. At first it's almost as though I'm doing something wrong and then I think, 'no wait, I do have something to say here!. It is important; at least to me, why not others?'

There is so much garbage coming out right now that is being passed off as 'art' and I have to wonder why. where did value go? Why is it the shallow ponds reflect the brightest against the sun only to eventually peel away in the end and reveal the lie; the deceit, the intent. And people just go on to the next mirror and look in as though it's the thing to do and 'everybody does it' and 'oh well, nobody cares anyway' and 'so what?'

I heard a voice on the phone say,"Why is this happening to me?", after they had dared the evil one to 'bring it on!' Solomon indeed was a wise man. He said, "Vanity of vanity, all is vanity."

We think we're bullet proof until the bullets begin to fly and then we're the first ones to hit the deck.

If there's any one thing I've learned from my children, it's that I have so much yet to learn.

Lord, don't let me be ignorant, especially when it comes to the enemy. He's had thousands of years to get his game going. I know I'm no match for his devices and intrigues. I will run to your refuge and rely on your wisdom and not my own and stand in the shadow of your mercy forever!

at the end of a long day

I spent most of the day in a meeting and then another and then the long drive home of about 50 miles. I know things have to be done outside the studio, but I don't care much for being away. My 'comfort zone' as it were, tends to draw me in and I surround myself with the tasks and relax like the proverbial cat on its back, paws extended upward, unaware of the world running past.

It's not as though I dislike the interaction with friends and peers, I just prefer that setting more than I used to. Yes, I used to look for excuses to go out. I could never stay still for very long; I had to go 'somewhere', even if it was just outside the door a few paces. I find that a little amusing.

Does anyone know anything about the Solfeggio Scale? Let me know if you do. I am interested in pursuing the inner workings of how to compose in that fashion. Let me know, if you will

Blessings

John

as we go....

Hello again. I really enjoyed the day yesterday.

Both services at our little church were very anointed and I can sense the beginning of a new era in the church. The evil one has done his best to tear down everyone's relationships with each other and has even succeeded in some areas, but God is good and rightly to be praised because the ones that really want to serve him are coming through and showing signs of good growth on the vine!

Never let it be said that God's people don't know how to listen.

I have added advertisements to the blog today. I want to see how they look along side the words and what kind of impact it might have on the message we want to offer.

A new blog will show up soon. It is to be called TADA!, and will be for aspiring authors to give their impout and knowledge in a forum setting that will add greatly to the public awareness of just how many good writers there are out there that are not yet published. We have a wealth of talent coming onboard from beginner to old salt and I am very excited to be a part of it.

Look for it and consider being a contributor.

unwanted emails....

I have been deleting my junk mail...again. It seems like no matter how careful I am, I get 'thousands' of mails each week that I don't want. I recently put an item on Craigslist and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that people would inundate me with 'junk' as if they were responding to my sale item. Now I have to go through all of it to see if in deed there are legitimate offers for what I am trying to sell. How discouraging.
On the other hand, I have been so blessed with learning about some new information that I am working on that may mean a very dynamic change to my music. I will have to put some of it into practice to see how it works but I am excited about trying it out in the next few days. I don't know all that I want and need to know to apply what I am learning at present, but I do believe that what I've seen thus far is quite powerful.
Imagine for a moment what it must have sounded like in the temple when David was king. What was the music like and what were the services like and so on.
From what I have gathered thus far, I understand that there were certain sounds or notes if you will, that were sounded out to perform certain 'tasks', thereby achieving certain results. It's all still quite new to me at this point, so hang on and give me a bit more time to research and learn and I'll be sure to pass along everything I find. This could be a major breakthrough if I understand it correctly.
Can you tell that I'm excited? DUH.
There are also some other areas that I'm looking into in regard to my blog and the websites, but I'll save that for another post and not keep you tied up too long on this one.
I hope you all know how inspiring it is to have you 'along for the ride' so to speak. There's nothing like having friends that are interested in what's going on all around us and take the time to be informed and 'warmed'.
Blessings
John

...the sounds...

I have been researching sound. Yes, I know, you're saying, 'John, you make too much sound now!'
No, I have just begun to 'fight'.
Seriously, I am in the midst of finding out some marvelous things about God's sounds and how they heal, transform, invigorate and many other wildly fun things.
I don't know if you have ever heard of the Solfeggio Scale, but it has to do with the ancient tones that David used in the temple when everyone came to worship. It seems as though certain tones (frequencies) were sounded and people got healed, delivered from all sorts of negative issues and set free from diseases and maladies and evidently enjoyed all sorts of wonderful, spiritual experiences that I find quite engrossing and invigorating.
I'll relay more as I find my way through the maze of information I have found myself involved in at the moment, but rest assured, I will report back with everything I find so that you too can become enlightened. I intend to re tune my keyboard and guitar to the Solfeggio scale and see exactly what I can contrive here at the studio for people to assess. I have listened to several of the offerings online at YouTube and am convinced that I can create some sounds as well. We'll just have to see what the outcome is, so pray that I get it down well enough to make an impact.

Who knows, one day it may be of some worth.
Blessings
John

another 'old post'

The Words Dance June 18, 2010
The sun is shining brightly this afternoon. The camp is quiet and practically empty for the most part. The students have all piled into various vehicles and made their way down the mountain and into town to do laundry. The girls usually go to LaVeta while the boys normally go to Walsenburg. I wasn’t here when they left so I don’t know if that holds true today.
I do know that the camp was in utter turmoil when Di and I returned from a dinner invitation about 9:30 last night.
It seems as though we had some 'unwelcome guests' in the camp as the evening service got into full swing.
A young girl of about 11 suddenly announced she saw a demon in the back of the room about the time my camera went crashing to the floor. The girl instantly went into a frenzy and was uncontrollably weeping for well over an hour. Others began experiencing sensations of being touched and or chased and the whole camp was in an uproar just as we arrived.
The staff began the process of calming everyone as best as could be managed under the circumstances and we all went into prayer mode, casting demons out and away from the camp and praising God for the authority he gives us to deal with such occurrences.
I was told that my camera hit the deck from about 5 feet up as it sat atop the tripod. Normally if a camera is dropped from half that height it would be history. Not so here. God is good and rightly to be praised. The only thing I can determine that is wrong with my camera is the lens cover. It has a series of scratches on it and it doesn’t attach to the lens now. That’s all. God is good … as I said.
We had been having reports of ‘unusual ‘ things going on, but no one really took authority over the situation until the camera went down. The whole camp immediately prayed for my camera and then the staff began ministering to the children. Needless to say, most of them were very much the worse for wear, but again, God is good and rightly to be praised. He helped us calm down the dilemma to where everyone could finally go to sleep.
I lay down awhile later to sleep. I wondered what the children would have to say when we woke up the next day. I kept thinking what a good life lesson it was. On the morrow they would see that everyone was still there, still alive and still able to carry on as before. There would be no more demons to deal with because we had expelled them from the camp.
Little did I know what God would do next.... Read the post just before this one.... I should have put it after this one....

The Words Dance (June17th)
[This is a post I did while in camp one day. I think it bears posting.... even if it is a bit late....]
I haven’t written anything since coming to camp on the 4th of June to help get things ready. Camp Elim takes a lot of each person’s time, but it’s worth it none the less. I have received over 2000 emails since arriving and only a hundred or so have been worth looking at or for that matter, answering.

The class Dianna did last week was awesome. She asked me to film it, which is unusual in and of its self since she is so camera shy. That's why I took special interest in what was happening. She gave her testimony and 12 children came to the Lord at the end of class. We wept with utter joy at the experience and still rejoice each time we think of it.
I have set up a temporary “office” here in Brother Joe’s old office overlooking the Tabernacle and Dining Hall. The area between the two buildings is where everyone gathers between classes and I can see the interaction among the boys and girls as they try to impress each other with their talents and skills. They are growing so fast.
Seeing some of them again after last year, I wonder what has happened in their lives since the last time I saw them, and hope for a better future for them than what they have had to endure up to now. It is apparent that they are survivors in a cruel world where most only have lack to look forward to as a constant companion.
The Indian heritage is strong in each ones features and even more so in their actions. The history of strong warriors still rests within them. If we can only stir the fires of courage and help them become more and more inquisitive in regard to things that pertain to the Lord, then we have a chance of helping them get a good foundation.
I see Dianna going across the walkway from Kitchen to Tabernacle with a big pot of food. It is time for the noon meal once again. The younger ones seem like little birds in a nest as they look up to us for sustenance and knowledge.
I marvel.

"...in the shelter of your arms...."

The evening shadows are forming on the wall outside my window. I can see the traffic on the road going back and forth from east to west like giant ants at a picnic.
I'm not interested in getting out in the heat these days because the heat index is around 110. I don't do well in the heat and so I merely 'observe' the outside world from my little perch high up in my air conditioned room.
What I am interested in is what is going on in the Spirit realm. I was up about 3:30 this morning and into Romans. I usually stay away from Romans because it is so legalistic and hard to read and King James isn't the easiest version to translate into everyday language; but I still read it. It gives me great comfort to hear the sounds of the words 'splashing' across my mind like an incoming wave from the Gulf.
I ramble in my mind, thinking first one thing and then another not really trying to stay 'on point' about any one topic in particular. I want to be open to what the Lord wants to tell me so I listen more than I think and that tends to give me a bit of a lazy atmosphere in my mind.
I want to hear what it is that God intends to have me do next, but I haven't heard anything concrete; or am I just too dense? I pray not.

We are on a quest. By we, I mean Dianna and I. We are looking at the chance of starting a publishing company with a lady in Colorado. her credentials are impeccable and her heart is toward the Lord, so I have been inclined to be very positive about it. I need to get into something that is productive and substantive and prosperous. It has been too long now that we have been 'church mice', living like vagabonds not knowing where the funds are coming from for the bills that all too often get paid far too late.

I don't believe that God intends for us to live this way. I more often than not think that it's something I'm not doing that is placing us in this condition month after month.
I have resolved to turn every penny that comes in over to Dianna. She can manage money. I cannot. I am loath to say that my business management skills are sorely lacking. That more than anything else is the cause for our present standing.
How's that for transparency? A freshly washed window in the full light of day.

My only solace is the fact that I can go into my prayer closet and seek the face of God, knowing full well that I will find comfort and encouragement and answers. That's why I am searching things out 'in the spirit' just now.
The work that I expect never comes and the work that we do get comes up unexpectedly. Why is that? Shouldn't I be ready for what is forthcoming after having heard from God as to what he would have me do next? Isn't that the way it's supposed to work? Get the message, work toward the outcome and see the increase come about.... isn't that the way of it? You can see my concern as to 'missing the boat' so to speak.

"Ah but it's so good to be in the shelter of your arms...."

oh what a relief it is....

I had no idea that one of the young men in our church was so talented. His job has him working on computers for a living and he is very good. We have been having computer issues for months and I was looking at a large bill to repair every unit we have that needs attention. An early estimate was around $500 and could have been a lot more.
I was visiting with him after church Sunday evening and the topic of computers came up.
"Oh, I work on them all day long at work....", he added, almost as a matter of fact.
It is Monday evening now and the young man just left, after almost three hours of intense inspection and repair of three of our computers. We still have some unfinished issues and he has promised to return until everything is 'ship shape'.

I learned about some very dynamic software that he uses and was given copies to put on each computer which will help keep us 'bug free' and running smoothly.

I am sitting here thinking how blessed we are once again.
"Oh, you don't owe me anything....", he said as he was leaving, "I just wanted to help out...."

The next time you see a young person that is being a problem, don't be too disappointed with them. There is still hope. Not everyone ends up a loser. There are a lot of caring, genuine young men and women that truly have a heart for others and are willing to be a blessing.

Sooner or later I know I will find a way to do something special for my young friend. It may take awhile, but I won't forget to complete this important mission.
I also have to be sure to give credit where credit is due. I know he is the way he is because his mother raised him right, so thanks 'Mom', you're the greatest!

...HOW SWEET IT IS....

The journey home was a tiresome and uncomfortable event. We started out a bit later than we had hoped and that put us into OKC proper around 2 Am. We had been advised that an issue with one of our grandsons was looming on the horizen and that put somewhat of a negative spin on the ride as well.
All was not as bad as we had been led to believe, so presently I am relaxing at my desk instead of stressing out; a much better feeling, believe me.
Isn't it just like the evil one to present things in the worst possible light in an effort to bring us down to his level and ruin our day? I just hate it when that happens.
I'm going to keep on trusting the Lord. That pays off in a much greater way than I have ever known the other side to provide relief. And the stress factor is so much smaller when I don't have to come up with all the right answers for everything. I just 'listen' really well and read and somehow, everytime, there comes the answer. It's amazing. I sure do like this way as opposed to the way I used to work things out. It was like holding my finger up to test the wind. It didn't matter how hard I tried, I still kept spitting into the wind. And everybody knows what that gets you... a faceful!

...on our way home...

I never thought that I would ever be uneasy about 'going home'.
The mere thought of home, my own bed, all the great friends waiting to welcome us back and the loving memories of just being 'in my own atmosphere' are little comfort to me just now.
Word came at dawn of a grievous family problem that looks insurmountable from a distance. I can only wonder what it will entail when we arrive.

Not going into any great detail, I can only say that it was not welcome news in the least.
Life is like that though. The most unexpected happenings are what pop up when you least expect them and you have to 'deal with it'.
I am so glad we had a 'rest period' though before we have to go back into the fray; we certainly will need to rely on what rest we have had, I can see that much.
I am almost anxious to see what God will do in all of this. The Word says "be anxious for nothing", but it's not easily accomplished in the face of such a dilema.
I do however, have a great sense of trust in it all and I am going to try my very best to be a stalwart soldier in it all and make my Master proud that he took time to teach me some things that I know in my 'knower' will be needed in the coming days.
Please say a little prayer for us as we walk through this together as a family and come out on the other side to the 'testimony time'. It will be interesting in deed.
Blessings
John

At last....

Hello my good friends. We have been in Colorado for over a month now and loving every moment of it. We have had a wonderful camp (Camp Elim)with almost 50 children attending experiencing well over 20 salvations and many redeications.
The nicest part this year had to be the staff. We had three adult men to help Michael and several cooks to help in the kitchen. The hard part was getting the food to the tabernacle to feed everyone. If you don't recall or haven't been informed as yet, the dinning hall burned this past winter and it was deemed unusable by tne building inspector, so we had to move the dining facility to the tabernacle and also use it as the classroom. Things went well and no one seemed the worse for wear in all of the changes and things progressed nicely overall.
I was especially impressed with my beautifu wife, Dianna. Her teaching skills have matured from being a semi timid person more or less 'sharing' a thought to a very informed expressionist with good points and excellent references backing up her observations. I look forward to the Lord using her a great deal in the future.
We have traveled to Colorado Springs to be with my mother and sister for a few days. The rest is very much a welcomed change from the "camp" atmosphere. My sister's home is very nice and we are relaxing for the holiday in style.
I will meet with a book editor/ teacher this afternoon to see how well we "fit". I am in hopes that the Lord has provided a new addition to the mix as we look forward to getting an agent for our books. This woud add the muc needed expertise and literary knowledge to our work that has been very much a needed entity. Please keep us in prayer that this is the beginning of what we have hoped for in the way of literary guidance.
We have felt that God has been orchestrating some sort of a change in our lives this past two months, but we don't know as yet what all may be looming before us in the near future.
I have had a chance to see the news of late and all is pointng toward the soon return of our Lord to take us out of here before the worst of it begins to happen that we read so much about in Revelation.
Be ready my friends. This is no light, unimportant time we live in just now.
All things have been accomplished, according to the Word, that have to be done to complete God's steps to finish his plan. Be ready.

I will post some blogs that I wrote while in the mountains. I saved them to my laptop and believe that they convey things that I want to share with you all. Look for them soon.
John

Saturday Sunrise

I awoke a bit early even though I still wanted to sleep on, enjoying the cool of the room as the fan hummed along. I had been up several times in the night, as usual, and I tried my best not to wake Dianna as I pulled back the sheet and slid out of the bed and onto the floor. She worries that I don't rest well.
My mind drifted to business and I immediately went online to see if a package I ordered would arrive today via UPS. Thankfully, it informed me that it would not. We are scheduled to go to my grand daughter's dance recital this afternoon and I didn't want the delivery person to have to make two trips.
What is it about dance recitals that I dread? I dearly love my little Kyleigh and would do anything within my power to please her, but I am certainly not looking forward to the hard chairs and the sqeaky, ill chosen music and the overly attentive parents desperate trying to show how talented thier child is. It wouldn't be so bad if they did say, a couple of dances altogether and everybody went home. But for some reason it seems as though the teachers somehow feature themselves as Spielbergs and Bruckheimers and draw out the performances as though it means better ratings with the 'network'. Does that sound a bit like Andy Rooney? My eyebrows are certianly not anywhere as garish.
Having said all that, I feel a little better; not that it will matter though when I'm sitting in that 'torture chamber chair' later on today.

Working Blind

I set up another website yesterday. It was such a pleasure because it was for a super person. He doesn't think he's a super person but he really is. He's quiet, unassuming, gentle and funny. His new book comes out soon and he needs a website to promote and inform and I got to do it for him. Picture me with my thumbs in my suspenders with a big grin on my fat little face and you'll get a good idea of how I feel inside. I love doing 'kewl' things like that. I know it's because I have to do so many mundane things in the course of a regular day even though I have the 'kewlest' day job of just about anybody I know. I can chose to do this or that on any given day and no one tells me what to do , except my wife, and I kinda like that to tell you the truth.

Now, I know that there may not be anyone reading this right now, but sooner or later there will be and when that happens I want them to know how I feel about and this and that and I don't want to have to remember it until then and try to write about it in 'past tense'.

RapN Gran E will be coming to the studio tomorrow. It's been a few years since we finished her first project and she's coming back to begin the next one. I listened to the songs in short segments just to remind myself of some of the things we did back then. It was a neat walk through the history of how the songs 'fleshed out' and how each one took on a personality all it's own and became a 'song' instead of an idea set to music.

I am so blessed. I get to 'play' all the time where most people have to 'work' and even labor to make ends meet. For some reason God has chosen to put me in a place where I can 'create' and do all the things that come to mind; experimenting with sound and art and video. I once had to climb a ladder everyday and push a brush full of paint onto the outside of houses I didn't own. I longed for the day when I could do what I do now. That's a miracle you know. God's grace and favor. I owe him so much. Much more than I'll ever be able to repay.

Now, when you read this, remember that I am/ was thinking of how very fortunate I am and not about what I don't have. I think that's imnportant.
Be blessed
John

Welcome Everyone!

Hello and welcome to "The Words Dance". I was encouraged to create this blog for people like myself that are making an attempt to become better writers. I have written four books to date and have one published by Tate Publishing in Oklahoma, but that was a work for hire project. I truly enjoyed it in that it made me 'stretch' my writing skills a bit more than I was used to. I had to write from the perspective of a woman's point of view and she is from India as well, so that made for some pretty interesting thoughts to say the least!
Please feel free to jump right in and give any ideas, opinions or comments that you dem appropriate. I would truyly like to see a lot of writers take advantage of tis forum to express thier feelings, as I will, so that each of us can gain insight and hopefully a good amount of inspiration.
At any rate, thanks for coming by and I hope to hear from you soon.
Blessings
John